Cover Snark (157): Snark of Tongue

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Whisper to Me – Nick Lake
Whisper to Me - Nick Lake
Thoughts: I feel like this is totally showing up The Beginning of Everything.

2. Filigree (Singularity #2) – Andrea K. HostFiligree (Singularity #2) - Andrea K. Host
Thoughts: I worry about what is about to happen to this magnificent woman.

3. Double Down (Lois Lane #2) – Gwenda Bond
Double Down (Lois Lane #2) - Gwenda Bond
Thoughts: Why did they reveal this with COVER NOT FINAL still on it? WHY?

4. Look Both Ways – Alison Cherry
Look Both Ways - Alison Cherry
Thoughts: You girls should also hold hands when you cross the street.

5. Pride: Celebrating Diversity and Community – Robin Stevenson
Pride Celebrating Diversity and Community - Robin Stevenson
Thoughts: Such a fabulous rainbow of a book. 🙂

6. Marked in Flesh (The Others #4) – Anne Bishop
Marked in Flesh (The Others #4) - Anne Bishop
Thoughts: Heyyyyy Meg, don’t make too many markings in your flesh, girl. Also, watch out for lightning.

7. Kiss Kill Love Him Still – Jamie Blair & Dawn Rae Miller
Kiss Kill Love Him Still - Jamie Blair & Dawn Rae Miller
Thoughts: I vote for killing him and kissing one of the other cover girls, but I guess you can always Love Him Dead.

8. Boys of Summer – Jessica Brody
Boys of Summer - Jessica Brody
Thoughts: Oh no, another earworm. At least I can picture these guys having a sexy splash fight at the end of this water jog.

9. Will’s Story:A No Place to Fall Novella – Jaye Robin Brown
Will's Story - Jaye Robin Brown
Thoughts: That heart is actually going to make playing the instrument difficult…

10. Holly Hearts Headlines (Holly Hearts Hollywood #2) – Kenley Conrad
Holly Hearts Headlines - Kenley Conrad
Thoughts: These celebrity contemps seem to be in again. There have been a lot of them. And I will probably read them all; you cannot save me.

11. Queen (The Blackcoat Rebellion #3) – Aimee Carter
Queen (The Blackcoat Rebellion #3) - Aimee Carter
Thoughts: This cover makes me think of the ending of Kingsman: The Secret Service, and not in a good way.

12. Rival Dreams (Rival Love #3) – Natalie Decker
Rival Dreams - Natalie Decker
Thoughts: I should hope they’d not play the game of love by someone else’s rules.

13. Onslow Boys (Summer #1.5, 2.5, 3.5) – C.J. Duggan
Onslow Boys - C.J. Duggan
Thoughts: ON. SLOW. BOYS.

14. The Hanging Tree (Peter Grant #6) – Ben Aaronovitch
The Hanging Tree (Peter Grant #6) - Ben Aaronovitch
Thoughts: Someone, fetch the smelling salts! It’s too pretty! *swoons*

15. Touching Fate – Brenda Drake
Touching Fate - Brenda Drake
Thoughts: Oh man, the trend of just changing the cover model’s eyes to some fake color is SO over. Get with the times, cover.

16. Prodigy: the Graphic Novel – Marie Lu & Leigh Dragoon
Prodigy the Graphic Novel - Marie Lu, adapted by Leigh Dragoon
Thoughts: I don’t remember the guy losing an arm, but he sure doesn’t seem to have a left arm.

17. Original Fake – Kirstin Cronn-Mills
Original Fake - Kirstin Cronn-Mills
Thoughts: I’m calling shenanigans on these guys not having orange paint everywhere.

18. Come Back to Me (Come Back to Me #1) – Mila Gray
Come Back to Me - Mila Gray
Thoughts: Only if you have cookies. This is not a euphamism. Cookies. Actual cookies. (This is what happens when I snark hungry.)

19. American Ace – Marilyn Nelson
American Ace - Marilyn Nelson
Thoughts: I would recommend landing before attempting to dismantle the wings to locate the secrets.

20. Crush – Eve Ainsworth
Crush - Eve Ainsworth
Thoughts: This is too dark and creepy for a cutesy book, so …stalker book?

21. Bitter of Tongue (Tales from Shadowhunter Academy #7) – Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan
Bitter of Tongue (Tales from Shadowhunter Academy #7) -Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan
Thoughts: Ew. Someone bitter of tongue is not someone you want to kiss.

22. The Fiery Trial (Tales from Shadowhunter Academy #8) – Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan

Thoughts: THE FIERY ARMPIT.

23. The Flux (‘Mancer #2) – Ferrett Steinmetz
The Flux ('Mancer #2) - Ferrett Steinmetz
Thoughts: Cover Snark posts will ALWAYS feature covers with ladies who look like they can beat your ass. ALWAYS.

24. Secrets, Lies, and Scandals – Amanda K. Morgan
Secrets, Lies, and Scandals - Amanda K. Morgan
Thoughts: Clearly the secret is that they’re all communist spies.

25. You Were Here – Cori McCarthy
You Were Here - Cori McCarthy
Thoughts: Well, that blurb is from Lorem ipsum. It’s likely been leaked, but omg that’s too funny. Also, not a fan of this in general. The font is not pretty and it’s smushed to the left, leaving empty space that’s not DOING anything. Sometimes empty space does something but this is not one of those times.

26. Falling for Shakespeare – Erin Butler
Falling for Shakespeare - Erin Butler
Thoughts: Is Shakespeare like in that pond? This is such an awkward angle on a human.

27. I Heart Prince Charming – Sara Celi
I Heart Prince Charming - Sara Celi
Thoughts: I sort of side-eye anyone who chooses Charming as their favorite Disney guy, but to each her own. More Li Shang for me.

28. Em & Em – Linda Budzinski
Em & Em - Linda Budzinski
Thoughts: Is it just me or do those hands look weird? I literally just held my hands up to try to see if I could make them look like that and failed.

29. A Christmas Kerril – Denise Jaden
A Christmas Kerril - Denise Jaden
Thoughts: KERRIL.

Cover Battles:

1. Rebel of the Sands – Alwyn Hamilton

Rebel of the Sands - Alwyn Hamilton
Rebel of the Sands - Alwyn Hamilton

US vs. UK: So I should preorder the UK immediately, right? I mean, LOOK AT IT.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Fatal (The Portland Street Kings #2) – Evie Harper
Fatal (The Portland Street Kings) - Evie Harper
Thoughts: Definitely looks like he’s humping the hubcap. Humpcap?

2. Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen (Vorkosigan Saga #16) – Lois McMaster Bujold
Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen - Lois McMaster Bujold
Thoughts: Well, this looks like an old school Windows screensaver. But worse?

3. Old Hickory Lane – E. J. Ruek
Old Hickory Lane - E. J. Ruek
Thoughts: I hate when I sneeze and a horse comes out. Also, this is sad. Just oh man.

5 responses to “Cover Snark (157): Snark of Tongue”

  1. Pamela says:

    I am dying at the author’s “pseudonym” on the last one.

    Just … what?
    Pamela recently posted…Throwback Thursday: L’ImmoralisteMy Profile

  2. Hannah says:

    SO EXCITED FOR MARKED IN FLESH! That is all.
    Hannah recently posted…Review: Asking for It – Kate HardingMy Profile

  3. Juliene says:

    #1 is totally an illustrated version of Undertow by Michael Buckley!

  4. Lyn Kaye says:

    2. KICK. ASS.

    3. AND WHY NOT? The cover is SWEET!

    4. One cannot look with covered/closed eyes. I totally want that swan shirt.

    5. LOVE IT.

    6. Still want that hair.

    These Clare covers look stupider and stupider.

    Not an impressive week. COME ON, PUBLISHERS.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Blog Tour: The 3rd WomanMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge