Cover Snark (150): All the Cover Reveals, Part 1

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Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear.

This week, I’m doing something unprecedented: splitting Cover Snark into two posts in the same week. Last week, I couldn’t post it because I was on a business trip and had almost no free time. Of course, this happened during cover reveal season, so I came back to about a hundred new covers. This is roughly the first half. Check back tomorrow for EVEN MORE COVER SNARK.

Shiny and New:

1. The Impostor Queen – Sarah Fine
The Impostor Queen - Sarah Fine
Thoughts: The author name is penetrating U. And the title is falling apart as a result.

2. Into the Dim – Janet B. Taylor
Into the Dim - Janet B. Taylor
Thoughts: I’m so in love with the font and the colors that I’m willing to overlook the awkwardness of the infinity symbol in the O, her expression, and the necklace

3. The Forbidden Wish – Jessica Khoury
The Forbidden Wish - Jessica Khoury
Thoughts: Is it raining gold? Like seriously what are the gold dots doing there?

4. The Possibility of Now – Kim Culbertson
The Possibility of Now - Kim Culbertson
Thoughts: Really loving the title. And the potential OT3 vibes.

5. The Case of the Fickle Mermaid (A Brothers Grimm Mystery) – P. J. Brackston
The Case of the Fickle Mermaid (Brothers Grimm Mystery) P. J. Brackston
Thoughts: If you’re caught by a fickle mermaid, you’re in a real pickle unless armed with a sickle and some slick(le) moves.

6. Alice and the Fly – James Rice
Alice and the Fly - James Rice
Thoughts: Alice and the Flying House

7. Strangely Beautiful (Strangely Beautiful #1-2) – Leanna Renee Hieber
Strangely Beautiful - Leanna Renee Hieber
Thoughts: It’s so beautiful the way the smoke of industry chokes the skies, isn’t it?

8. Save Me, Kurt Cobain – Jenny Manzer
Save Me, Kurt Cobain - Jenny Manzer
Thoughts: Too late for that methinks.

9. Stiletto (The Checquy Files #2) – Daniel O’Malley
Stiletto (The Checquy Files #2) - Daniel O'Malley
Thoughts: Never heard of this series, nor do I have any idea how to pronounce it, but omg this cover is so cool.

10. A Tangle of Gold (The Colours of Madeleine #3) – Jaclyn Moriarty
A Tangle of Gold (The Colours of Madeleine #3) - Jaclyn Moriarty
Thoughts: Either they don’t care that it doesn’t match the others or there’s a deeply unfortunate redesign coming for the other two. Thanks to the magic of Google, I can tell you that the sky in the background is a stock image called “a glimpse of heaven.”

11. Alistair Grim’s Odd Aquaticum (Odditorium #2) – Gregory Funaro
Alistair Grim's Odd Aquaticum (Odditorium #2) - Gregory Funaro
Thoughts: It’s like Howl’s Moving Castle can now handle water. I’m down.

12. Worlds of Ink and Shadow – Lena Coakley
Worlds of Ink and Shadow - Lena Coakley
Thoughts: If only it had been a paper dinosaur instead. A Brontesaurus.

13. Strange Girl – Christopher Pike
Strange Girl - Christopher Pike
Thoughts: She was hot and didn’t have a bathing suit. It’s not THAT strange to wade into the water in her dress.

14. The Sword of Summer (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard #1) – Rick Riordan
The Sword of Summer (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard #1) - Rick Riordan
Thoughts: The 70s called. They want their haircut back. Look, even the blue wolf can’t stand to look at his terrible hair.

15. Banished (Forbidden #2) – Kimberley Griffiths Little
Banished (Forbidden #2) - Kimberley Griffiths Little
Thoughts: She’s like “Banish me?!?! HUMPH” *sassy twirl*

16. Pax – Sara Pennypacker
Pax - Sara Pennypacker
Thoughts: Adorable Jon Klassen art that calls to my Fox and the Hound feels? Me = ded.

17. Inferno (Blood for Blood #2) – Catherine Doyle
Inferno (Blood for Blood #2) - Catherine Doyle
Thoughts: It’s dat bitch again. I swear she must have the cheapest stock photos or something. Either that or she’s got because she’s fucking omnipresent.

18. The Smell of Other People’s Houses – Bonnie-Sue Hitchcock
The Smell of Other People’s Houses - Bonnie-Sue Hitchcock
Thoughts: The title creeps me out because I imagine the MC breaking into people’s houses and getting high off the scent of them or something, but the purple sky is lovely.

19. The Keeper of the Mist – Rachel Neumeier
The Keeper of the Mist - Rachel Neumeier
Thoughts: Apparently you keep the mist in a pocket watch.

20. Up from the Sea – Leza Lowitz
Up from the Sea - Leza Lowitz
Thoughts: Why is there a tree in the middle of the sea? Wreckage I get, but a tree???

21. Peas and Carrots – Tanita S. Davis
Peas and Carrots - Tanita S. Davis
Thoughts: DON’T CALL ME CARROTS.

22. Anna and the Swallow Man – Gavriel Savit
Anna and the Swallow Man - Gavriel Savit
Thoughts: I hope he doesn’t swallow her up.

23. The Seer’s Spread (Beautiful Creatures: The Untold Stories #2) – Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl
The Seer's Spread (Beautiful Creatures The Untold Stories) - Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl
Thoughts: Title of the seer’s sex tape.

24. The Girl from Everywhere – Heidi Heilig
The Girl from Everywhere - Heidi Heilig
Thoughts: I loved this so much more when I thought that was a whale at first than I did after I realized it was a girl’s eyes in a wave. *sighs*

25. The Sister Pact – Stacie Ramey
The Sister Pact - Stacie Ramey
Thoughts: Their brightly colored skirts did not prepare me for the fact that the titular pact is suicide.

26. Playing the Player – Lisa Brown Roberts
Playing the Player - Lisa Brown Roberts
Thoughts: She’s going to beat him at his game: shuffleboard.

27. What We Left Behind – Robin Talley
What We Left Behind - Robin Talley
Thoughts: If only we’d left the lens flare behind.

28. Spirit Week Showdown (The Magnificent Mya Tibbs) – Crystal Allen
The Magnificent Mya Tibbs - Crystal Allen
Thoughts: She does look pretty dang magnificent.

29. The Last Boy at St. Edith’s – Lee Gjertsen Malone
The Last Boy at St. Edith's - Lee Gjertsen Malone
Thoughts: IF ONLY HE WERE GENDERBENDING.

30. Trust Me (Find Me #3) – Romily Bernard
Trust Me (Find Me #3) - Romily Bernard
Thoughts: I’m just assuming thaat she’s flipping us all off.

31. All of the Above – James Dawson
All of the Above - James Dawson
Thoughts: What is “crazy golf”?

32. The Deavys – Alan Dean Foster
The Deavys - Alan Dean Foster
Thoughts: Looks like they might have both a pet cat and a pet dragon. My kind of people.

33. What Happens in Berlin (Adventures Abroad #3) – Jen McConnel
What Happens in Berlin - Jen McConnel
Thoughts: I ship it. I hope it happens in Berlin.

34. The Empire Strikes Back: So You Want to Be a Jedi? (Star Wars Illustrated Novels #2) – Adam Gidwitz
Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back So You Want to Be a Jedi - Adam Gidwitz
Thoughts: What kid who grew up watching Star Wars doesn’t want to be a Jedi? I mean, really. Though I would be a monstrously terrible Jedi. Still, I would totally try.

35. Return of the Jedi: Beware the Power of the Dark Side! (Star Wars Illustrated Novels #3) – Tom Angleberger
Return of the Jedi Beware the Power of the Dark Side! - Tom Angleberger
Thoughts: I’m so excited about these, but seriously what is with the titles. This one has an exclamation point! It! Is! So! Excited! To! Be! A! Title!

36. Anya and the Shy Guy (Backstage Pass #4) – Suze Winegardner
Anya and the Sky Guy - Suze Winegardner
Thoughts: OMG, definitely read that as Anya and the Sky Guy. trololol.

37. Once Upon a Kiss – Robin Palmer
Once Upon a Kiss - Robin Palmer
Thoughts: Definitely looks like she’s wolf whistling a hot guy who just walked by.

38. Ravenous – MarcyKate Connolly
Ravenous -MarcyKate Connolly
Thoughts: AHHHHHHH THE ADORABLEEEEEE

39. Arrows – Melissa Gorzelanczyk
Arrows - Melissa Gorzelanczyk
Thoughts: Cupid’s gone to the dark side.

40. Sanctuary Bay – Laura J. Burns & Melinda Metz
Sanctuary Bay - Laura J. Burns & Melinda Metz
Thoughts: They say Sanctuary, but it sure looks like a trap.

41. Dreamfever (Dreamfire #2) – Kit Alloway
Dreamfever - Kit Alloway
Thoughts: It sort of looks like that guy zoomed away from her so fast that it made her hair fly to the left.

42. Counter Clockwise – Elle Strauss
Counter Clockwise - Elle Strauss
Thoughts: This looks like an old school horror movie.

43. Invision (Chronicles of Nick #7) – Sherrilyn Kenyon
Invision (Chronicles of Nick #7) - Sherrilyn Kenyon
Thoughts: Looks like that guy’s about to do an impressive soccer kick on that circle thing.

44. All American Boys – Jason Reynolds & Brendan Kiely
All American Boys - Jason Reynolds & Brendan Kiely
Thoughts: Why is the O a different color? Is this book about getting arrested and having orgasms? Probably not, right?

45. In Real Life – Jessica Love
In Real Life - Jessica Love
Thoughts: Basically if a cover looks like it could maybe be a Rainbow Rowell cover, I’m gonna love it. Though I’d love it so much more if the head phone cords didn’t make a heart.

46. Front Lines (Soldier Girl #1) – Michael Grant
Front Lines - Michael Grant
Thoughts: She’ll be pretty useful on the front lines since she’s a hundred times larger than a plane.

47. Burn (Four Sisters #2) – Elissa Sussman
Burn (Stray #2) - Elissa Sussman
Thoughts: A single spark might not be enough to start a fire in this landscape.

48. Shade Me (Nikki kill #1) – Jennifer Brown
Shade Me - Jennifer Brown
Thoughts: I doubt this is about sports fans like the face paint suggests to me, but the colors are damn gorgeous.

Cover Battles:

1. Tell the Story to Its End – Simon P. Clark

Eren - Simon P. Clark
Tell the Story to Its End - Simon P. Clark

UK vs. US: It somehow doesn’t come to a cohesive wonderful whole for me, but I do like the monster’s shadow chilling in the background. I like the ornate letters, but I think having all of END like that is a bit too much of a good thing. I like the UK cover too, but it’s also not quiiite clicking.

2. My Name Is Not Friday – Jon Walter

My Name's Not Friday - Jon Walter
My Name Is Not Friday - Jon Walter

UK vs. US: As far as I can tell, the left is the UK and the right is the US, but it was confusing, so if you know more, please let me know. Anyway, they’re both pretty cool, though I’d go for the UK one, I think.

3. The Secret Side of Empty – Maria E. Andreu

The Secret Side of Empty by Maria E. Andreu
The Secret Side of Empty - Maria E. Andreu

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: This one looks better put together, but I still probably wouldn’t look at it twice on the shelf at a store.

4. Sorcerer to the Crown (Sorcerer Royal #1) – Zen Cho

sorcerer_front mech.indd
Sorcerer to the Crown - Zen Cho

US vs. UK: It’s not often that I’ll not opt for the dragon cover but OMG THE SHINY.

5. The Scorch Trials (Maze Runner #2) – James Dashner

The Scorch Trials
The Scorch Trials - James Dashner pb
The Scorch Trials - James Dashner

US Hardback vs. US Paperback vs. US Movie Tie-In: Minus the obnoxious orange sticker and the MTV stamp, I think this is doing movie tie-in right. It looks nicer than the original, and it doesn’t zoom in too close on the actors.

6. Six Feet Over It – Jennifer Longo

Six Feet Over It - Jennifer Longo hardback
Six Feet Over It - Jennifer Longo

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I am so over than hardback. It’s all about the paperback. I may buy it just for the cover.

7. Adrenaline Crush – Laurie Boyle Crompton

Adrenaline Crush - Laurie Boyle Crompton
Adrenaline Crush - Laurie Boyle Crompton

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I’d be more likely to pick up the original I think, but I also didn’t like it, so this one may target its audience better?

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Their Fractured Light (Starbound #3) – Amie Kaufman & Meagan Spooner
Their Fractured Light (Starbound #3) - Amie Kaufman & Meagan Spooner
Thoughts: Barbie and Ken float in space. Barbie’s dress, made of many rare purple space ostriches, exudes a pink glow because it’s been so long since she showered.

Choose Your Favorites:

Snarking is fun, but it’s time to give the designers/publishers/authors props (the authors often have no creative say, but hey props are nice). Vote for the covers that really impressed you this week.

10 responses to “Cover Snark (150): All the Cover Reveals, Part 1”

  1. Dahlia Adler says:

    I’m so psyched they redesigned SIX FEET OVER IT because while I actually liked the hardcover OK, that girl looks like she’s in college, and the MC is 14. Plus I liked it a lot and it went pretty under the radar, so I’m hoping a redesign digs it up again!

    Also, MarcyKate Connolly’s covers are freaking *excellent*. I’m never in the MG section so I always forget to buy her first one, but I MUST.

    Totally just added THE POSSIBILITY OF NOW to my TBR; hadn’t heard of it before! I’m not counting on the OT3, but after her last book I was definitely curious to see what she’d do next.
    Dahlia Adler recently posted…Top Ten Books On My TBR For Summer 2015My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Now I want to read Six Feet Over It really badly. Noelle Stevenson did Longo’s new covers and I basically want to buy them no matter how good the books are. :-p I often don’t like younger YA, but I’m hopeful.

      Ravenous is probably my tippy top favorite cover from at least this half. SO FREAKING GORGEOUS. Also, I thought Monstrous was quite good. I think she’ll do some amazing things.

      I’m not sure if The Possibility of Now is a me book. You’ll have to report back. :-p

  2. Hannah says:

    Coversnark never fails to make me chortle. THANK YOU.
    Hannah recently posted…Review: Last Night in Montreal – Emily St John MandelMy Profile

  3. Brigid says:

    14. IT’S KURT COBAIN….
    38. SO FLIPPIN’ ADORABLE I COULD DIE

  4. Lesley says:

    Crazy golf is what we call mini golf in the UK!
    Lesley recently posted…Since We Last SpokeMy Profile

  5. Kelly L. says:

    Now that you’ve mentioned it, TFL does look like it has Barbie and Ken on the cover LOL.
    Kelly L. recently posted…Magic Threatens: Blog Tour + Book Playlist of A Book of Spirits & Thieves by Morgan RhodesMy Profile

  6. Lyn Kaye says:

    I feel really crappy that I read this every week and I fail to reply. I suck ass.

    1. I wasn’t crazy about this – until I saw the mask. Yes, please, sign me up for this book!!

    2. I….almost liked it.

    3. Eeeeeehhhhhhhh….hello middle school folder design.

    8. Poor guy couldn’t even save himself.

    16. AAAWWWWWWW

    28. I want her BOOTS!

    38. LOVE IT
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Garden Gazette: June Wrap UpMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      You do not suck ass! I do not want to hear such libel!

      1. The mask is creeeeeepy.

      3. Haha, that’s just right if there were a unicorn.

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