Cover Snark (145): Just Snarking

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Just Visiting – Dahlia Adler
Just Visiting - Dahlia Adler
Thoughts: I SHIP IT. (But before you get your hopes up, I’m pretty sure they’re not the ship.)

2. Carry On – Rainbow Rowell
Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Thoughts: This, to me, looks more like a Lord of the Flies cover than a Drary-inspired romance. It also drives me up the freaking wall that the author font changes color over the blue person but not the yellow person.

3. A Nearer Moon – Melanie Crowder
A Nearer Moon - Melanie Crowder
Thoughts: Middle grade has such good art game. Also, that girl is so boss astride that ship being eaten by some sort of monster.

4. We Own the Night (Radio Hearts #2) – Ashley Poston
We Own the Night - Ashley Poston
Thoughts: Awwww, this is adorable. THE MOON IS A RECORD AND THE DOT OVER THE I IS A MICROPHONE AND THE BUILDINGS ARE SOUND. My only concern is how much this doesn’t match the first book, but maybe that doesn’t matter for a digital imprint?

5. The Friend Zone (Game On #2) – Kristen Callihan
The Friend Zone (Game On #2) - Kristen Callihan
Thoughts: Just because you been working on your fitness doesn’t mean she’s going to want to jump on that. Also, unless I misunderstood, which maybe, lots of things are actually not considered fair in football?!?!?!

6. Are You Still There – Sarah Lynn Scheerger
Are You Still There - Sarah Lynn Scheerger
Thoughts: Does it bother anyone else that there’s no question mark at the end of the title

7. Unleashed (Tor Maddox #1) – Liz Coley
Tor Maddox Unleashed - Liz Coley
Thoughts: Titles should never ever be written like that, because now people will insist the book title is TOR MADDOX: UNLEASHED, and not that the title is Unleashed and it’s the first book in the Tor Maddox series, which will frustrate me no end.

8. The Secrets of Drearcliff Grange School – Kim Newman
The Secrets of Drearcliff Grange School - Kim Newman
Thoughts: They’re not keeping the secret of flying girls too well.

9. Don’t Fail Me Now – Una LaMarche
Don't Fail Me Now - Una LaMarche
Thoughts: There’s something about this that reads as like 1960s-70s for me, but I can’t really put my fingers on it. The colors, maybe? Either way, gorgeous POC model is win.

10. Blood Call – Lilith Saintcrow
Blood Call - Lilith Saintcrow
Thoughts: Snarkiness

11. Passenger (Untitled Series #1) Alexandra Bracken
Passenger (Untitled Series #1) Alexandra Bracken
Thoughts: No idea what this cover means but who even cares. What I do care about is that Untitled Series is a horrible series name. Someone needs to rectify this horror.

12. The Black Knife (Orphan Queen #0.4) – Jodi Meadows
The Black Knife (Orphan Queen) - Jodi Meadows
Thoughts: It looks really cool, but I’m not sure why an invisible person is crossing his sword with its scabbard.

13. Imposter – Antony John
Imposter - Antony John
Thoughts: I feel like this cover will end up being as unmemorable for me as the title.

14. You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) – Felicia Day
You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) - Felicia Day
Thoughts: I WANT HER DRESS.

15. Old School (Diary of a Wimpy Kid #10) – Jeff Kinney
Old School (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) - Jeff Kinney
Thoughts: “Wow, dad, thanks for this….cat…toy?”

Cover Battles:

1. Atlantia – Ally Condie

Atlantia - Ally Condie hardback
Atlantia - Ally Condie

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: *unenthused shrug*

2. Gridley Girls – Meredith First

Gridley Girls - Meredith First original
Gridley Girls - Meredith First

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: OH MY GOD THAT ORIGINAL TAGLINE. This very badly needed the redesign. Oh man.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Lust – Leddy Harper
Lust - Leddy Harper
Thoughts: Clearly, this is about someone with a major chin/neck/collarbone fetish.

2. Wet – Stacy Kestwick
Wet - Stacy Kestwick
Thoughts: That’s some straight up Haunted Vagina shit if people can go swimming in there.

3. With Visions of Red (Broken Bonds #1) – Trisha Wolfe
With Visions of Red - Trisha Wolfe
Thoughts: Sex thing or serial killer thing?

Choose Your Favorites:

Snarking is fun, but it’s time to give the designers/publishers/authors props (the authors often have no creative say, but hey props are nice). Vote for the covers that really impressed you this week.

10 responses to “Cover Snark (145): Just Snarking”

  1. Dahlia Adler says:

    Okay, they’re not the ship, BUT, I am super unopposed to fanfiction… Also, MY COVER IS MY FAVORITE. But okay yes I am also pretty obsessed with WE OWN THE NIGHT and PASSENGER. I think you’re right on with it not mattering re: WOtN because of digital imprint, which is a cool luxury of that I hadn’t thought much about. I guess for branding together on swag it’s not so great, but, like…worth it. This new cover is great.
    Dahlia Adler recently posted…Top Ten Books By People I Adore That Rocked April 2015 (+Giveaways!)My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Hahaha, your cover is great as well. 🙂 We Own the Night might be my favorite because it’s SO perfect for the subject (so far as I can tell) and illustrated and stuff. Passenger’s super cool. There are a fair amount of good ones for such a small cover reveal week.

  2. 2. You’d think they would make a better cover for one of their bestselling authors and go for the same illustrated style on Fangirl’s cover.

    4. Can I have a print of this cover because it would look delicious in my room.

    7. THAT PUPPY AND THE HANGING FUR ON HIS CHINNY CHIN CHIN NEED SOME SNUGGLES.

    9. Agreed! Her hair is glorious.

    10. It’s like if you could play Sim City by spilling your blood to create the city. That would be a dangerous way to play.

    14. THE TITLE IS A LIE AND I WANT HER DRESS IN RED OR A SIMILARLY FLATTERING COLOR FOR A WARM-SKINNED PERSON.

    CB1. Since I’m pretty sure they knew it was going to fail according to gossip I heard through the grapevine, no surprise they didn’t try with the new cover.

    WTF3. I would say both, which is more disturbing than either/or.

    • Christina Franke says:

      2. The more I look at this cover, the more frustrated I am. They already had adorable Simon and Baz images, so why not use them? Also, I don’t love that they’ve made them into silhouettes rather than showing more realistic human boys with amorous expressions. *grumbles* ALSO IT MATCHES NOTHING.

      4. IT IS SO PRETTY.

      9. It absolutely is.

      10. O_O

      14. I think she looks fine in blue, but the cover could use a bit more brightness.

      CB1. I AM SO CURIOUS, ASHLEIGH. DM me?

      WTF1. O_O

  3. LG says:

    WTF#3 looks like, if she swung around so we could see the other side of her head, her brains would be showing. Not a drop of blood on her that I can see, but it’s still an incredibly disturbing cover.
    LG recently posted…Black Coffee (live action movie), via NetflixMy Profile

  4. Brigid says:

    1. that cover is sooooo cute. I just want to snuggle with it.
    2. What is that?
    3. I would LOVE to be able to stand on a canoe like that.
    7. Before you mentioned that, I actually thought that was the title name which just confused me.
    9. I think it’s her glasses in combo with the color sphere. Gorgeous model.
    14. IT’S FELICIA!!!
    2. SNORT OMG. I JUST LEGIT SPIT OUT MY COFFEE BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  5. Hannah says:

    The Carry On cover doesn’t suit the book AT ALL. I am most upset.

  6. Layla says:

    The cover for “Carry On” really makes me fear that it will not be epic, loosely-inspired Draco/Harry fanfiction! What is this nonsense? (In my perfect world, Baz is lounging elegantly on the cover because WHY WOULD HE NOT BE?) I don’t know. It looks weirdly like they’re trying to market it as … not fanfiction. Which makes my heart sad.
    Layla recently posted…A Court of Thorns and Roses: ReviewMy Profile

  7. Juhina says:

    so many great covers and horrible ones too XD i love passenger’s cover as well as the middle grade one.. that one is gorgeous

    – Juhina @ Maji Bookshelf
    Juhina recently posted…Cook books review: My New Roots by Sarah BrittonMy Profile

  8. 3. Middle Grade always seem to get the best art covers. So many details.
    8. I don’t get the blurb by Neil Gaiman..? ‘On Anno Dracula’ is that like, a second title from this book?
    11. Pretty pretty pretty.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 225. Sarah J. Maas – A court of thorns and roses.My Profile

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