Cover Snark (143): A Snark of Spirits and Thieves

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Truthwitch (The Witchlands #1) – Susan Dennard
Truthwitch - Susan Dennard
Thoughts: YES, I LOVE BADASS BITCH COVERS. She’s fucking duel wielding awesome.

2. Kill Switch (Joe Ledger #8) – Jonathan Maberry
Kill Switch - Jonathan Ledger
Thoughts: Is this a man made out of dirt?

3. Games Wizards Play (Young Wizards #10) – Diane Duane
Games Wizards Play (Young Wizards #10) - Diane Duane
Thoughts: They battle inside of balls of electricity? Is this Red Queen? That doesn’t look like a fun game.

4. Marrow – Tarryn Fisher
Marrow - Tarryn Fisher
Thoughts: This cover has a fun interplay between the tagline, which mentions a girl in a house, and the image, which shows a house in a girl.

5. The Foxglove Killings -Tara Kelly
The Foxglove Killings -Tara Kelly
Thoughts: I’m really not sure what emotion those eyes are trying to convey. The hair in her face also makes her look like an old doll with cracks. It’s odd.

6. Bands of Mourning (Mistborn #6) – Brandon Sanderson
Bands of Mourning (Mistborn) - Brandon Sanderson
Thoughts: *shrug* Generic fantasy cover.

7. Starflight (Starflight #1) – Melissa Landers
Starflight - Melissa Landers
Thoughts: Space covers give me such serenity.

8. Vivian Apple Needs a Miracle – Katie Coyle
Vivian Apple Needs a Miracle - Katie Coyle
Thoughts: Vivian Apple wears an unfortunate fuzzy sweater while riding in a really old car.

9. Alive – Scott Sigler
Alive - Scott Sigler
Thoughts: THE SMURFS ARE ALIVE.

10. Hello? – Liza Wiemer
Hello - Liza Wiemer
Thoughts: It is not you I’m looking for.

11. Crossed (Soul Eaters #3) – Eliza Crewe
Crossed (Soul Eaters #3) - Eliza Crewe
Thoughts: Adoorable enough, I guess.

12. The Almost King (Take Back the Skies #2) – Lucy Saxon
The Almost King - Lucy Saxon
Thoughts: I’M ALMOST KING OF THE WORLD.

13. Down from the Mountain – Elizabeth Fixmer
Down from the Mountain - Elizabeth Fixmer
Thoughts: That font is precious. And that’s probably pretty close to what I’d look like after coming down a mountain on foot. Though with more panting.

14. The Whitechapel Fiend (Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #3) – Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson
The Whitechapel Fiend (Shadowhunter Academy) - Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson
Thoughts: He’s going to fiend you.

15. Nothing But Shadows (Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy #4) – Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan
Nothing But Shadows (Shadowhunter Academy) - Cassandra Clare & Sarah Rees Brennan
Thoughts: Man, can you imagine if your parents gave you a t-shirt telling you where you were made? Blech.

16. Painless – S. A. Harazin
Painless - S. A. Harazin
Thoughts: I don’t know. I feel like being slowly consumed by coral might be painful.

17. Rise (Paper Gods #2.5) – Amanda Sun
Rise (Paper Gods) - Amanda Sun
Thoughts: If there are bugs about, I prefer not to rise, but thanks.

18. It’s Just a Jump to the Left – Libba Bray
It's Just a Jump to the Left - Libba Bray
Thoughts: What a rocky horror.

19. The Scorpion Rules – Erin Bow
The Scorpion Rules - Erin Bow
Thoughts: No power in the verse would get me to sit on that throne.

20. Discovering Delilah (Harborside Nights #2) – Melissa Foster
Discovering Delilah (Harborside Nights #2) - Melissa Foster
Thoughts: Oh hey, lesbians! I am in love with the subtle rainbow on the title font. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

21. Shades of Darkness (Ravenborn #1) – A.R. Kahler
Shades of Darkness (Ravenborn #1) - A.R. Kahler
Thoughts: Ooooh, this is a lot like the Paper Gods covers. Looooove.

22. Young Man with Camera – Emil Sher
Young Man With Camera - Emil Sher
Thoughts: Indeed it is. There’s something about a wall of photos like that not in a museum that creeps me out. I blame portrayals of creepy people on tv.

23. Ashes in the Sky (Fire in the Woods #2) – Jennifer M. Eaton
Ashes in the Sky (Fire in The Woods #2) - Jennifer M. Eaton
Thoughts: K, that’s his crotch.

24. Frosted Kisses (The Cupcake Queen #2) – Heather Hepler
Frosted Kisses (The Cupcake Queen #2) - Heather Hepler
Thoughts: I get what the title is going for, but I’m trying to decide what an actual frosted kiss would be like and hmmmm.

25. Beyond the Kingdoms (The Land of Stories #4) – Chris Colfer
Beyond the Kingdoms (The Land of Stories #4) - Chris Colfer
Thoughts: I’m so creeped out by the queen of hearts in the bottom right corner.

26. Bounders (Bounders #1) – Monica Tesler
Bounders - Monica Tesler
Thoughts: Very Ender’s Game.

27. Foolish Encounters: A Rainbow Gold Anthology – Various
Foolish Encounters A Rainbow Gold Anthology - Various
Thoughts: Did he meet someone by jumping in the air and farting on them? Foolish indeed. But done with great pizzazz.

28. The Girl Who Could Not Dream – Sarah Beth Durst
The Girl Who Could Not Dream - Sarah Beth Durst
Thoughts: So the pink bunnies and multi-tailed demon cat thing are real? O_O

29. All the Birds in the Sky – Charlie Jane Anders
All the Birds in the Sky - Charlie Jane Anders
Thoughts: Do yourself a favor and check out the other designs they considered because holy shit Tor rocks designs.

Cover Battles:

1. This Ordinary Life – Jennifer Walkup

This Ordinary Life - Jennifer Walkup take 1
This Ordinary Life - Jennifer Walkup

Take 1 vs. Take 2: GOOD CALL ON THE REDESIGN. Because, seriously, this new one is GORGEOUS, and the previous one was laughably bad. GOOD CALL. *applauds*

2. An Ember in the Ashes – Sabaa Tahir

An Ember in the Ashes - Sabaa Tahir
Tahir_Elias.indd
An Ember in the Ashes - Sabaa Tahir

US vs. German vs. UK: Hmmm, well, I think the US cover feels most original. The German cover has the mask sort of taking over the guy’s face, which really fits the book, but also it has way too much writing on it. The UK cover has a nice ember thing going but looks like a lot of covers.

3. The 57 Lives of Alex Wayfare (Alex Wayfare #1) – M.G. Buehrlen

The 57 Lives of Alex Wayfare (Alex Wayfare #1) - MG Buehrlen
The 57 Lives of Alex Wayfare (Alex Wayfare #1) - M.G. Buehrlen

Strange Chemistry vs. Diversion: Not my favorite font-driven cover, but I like that this one looks more original to me than the SC cover (which always made me think of Charm & Strange.

4. A Book of Spirits and Thieves (Spirits and Thieves #1) – Morgan Rhodes

A Book of Spirits and Thieves - Morgan Rhodes
A Book of Spirits and Thieves - Morgan Rhodes

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Better. That horse is definitely working it. Plus, it looks like a fantasy now.

5. The Rest of Us Just Live Here – Patrick Ness

The Rest of Us Just Live Here - Patrick Ness
The Rest of Us Just Live Here - Patrick Ness

UK vs. US: Apparently the US cover glows in the dark, which is super cool, but I still want the UK one tbh.

6. Night Owls – Jenn Bennett

The Anatomical Shape of a Heart - Jenn Bennett
The Anatomical Shape of a Heart - jenn Bennett german
Night Owls - Jenn Bennett

US vs. German vs. UK: Is that what buses are shaped like in the UK? I do love the shiny goldness. Seriously, though, what’s up with the German cover? It’s like a Dover Thrift edition.

7. Sublime – Christina Lauren

Sublime - Christina Lauren
Sublime - Christina Lauren

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: This might actually be worse. But, man, it’s a tough call, because they’re both so unfortunate.

8. Salt & Storm – Kendall Kulper

Salt & Storm - Kendall Kulper
Salt & Storm - Kendall Kulper

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Ah, now we know why the companion didn’t match. Redesign time! I’d honestly be more likely to pick up the pretty dress than the rope.

9. Night Sky – Suzanne Brockmann & Melanie Brockmann

Night Sky (Night Sky #1) - Suzanne & Melanie Brockmann
Night Sky - Suzanne Brockmann & Melanie Brockmann paperback

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: That’s a GOOD change.

10. Flashes – Tim O’Rourke

Flashes - Tim O'Rourke UK
Flashes - Tim O'Rourke German
Flashes - Tim O'Rourke

UK vs. German vs. US: Girl, why are you looking to the left. Every damn sense should be telling you where the flash is coming from: the motherfucking train. That aside, I guess I like the US cover best of these options?

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. More Than a Deal (More Than DC #2) – T. J. Tims
More Than a Deal (More Than DC #2) - T. J. Tims
Thoughts: But two pairs of shoes at full price and get one parrot free at Pairrots of Shoes.

2. Forever Lost – Laura Morgan
Forever Lost - Laura Morgan
Thoughts: Just admire that quote up there.

3. The Ryu Morgue (Jane True) – Nicole Peeler
The Ryu Morgue - Nicole Peeler
Thoughts: Because nothing says sexy like a morgue.

Choose Your Favorites:

Snarking is fun, but it’s time to give the designers/publishers/authors props (the authors often have no creative say, but hey props are nice). Vote for the covers that really impressed you this week.

12 responses to “Cover Snark (143): A Snark of Spirits and Thieves”

  1. Dahlia Adler says:

    Ooh, I had not seen that new Melissa Landers cover, but I like it! And I’m just so excited for more Vivian Apple I did not even notice that sweater. I think Alex Kahler’s SHADES OF DARKNESS is my fave of all of them, though! (Ooh and Charlie Jane Anders’, too – I like hers a lot.)

    Had never heard of/seen DISCOVERING DELILAH but oh wow that went on the TBR quite quickly now didn’t it.

    I did not even know THIS ORDINARY LIFE had had a different cover before! But maaaaan good call on the redesign; I love the new version.

    Man, I really like *both* of those Patrick Ness covers. Seems unfair to have two good ones for the same book when some people can’t even get one decent one.

    I actually prefer the original SALT & STORM, just because to me it was more memorable. Like, I think the new one is prettier, but if you took off the title, I’d forget what book it was, but that wouldn’t be true for the hardcover.
    Dahlia Adler recently posted…Top Ten Books I Recently Added to my TBRMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I’ve actually not heard anything about Vivian Apple, aside from the cover reveals. I should be interested?

      Shades of Darkness is LOVELY. I’m actually pissed that it wasn’t on GR or even Amazon yet, because I couldn’t link to it.

      YES. I have found an NA thing before you. I am so proud of myself. :-p

      I’d not seen This Ordinary Life before either, but man did it need that redesign. The new cover is ADORABLE. One of my favorites, and not just this week.

      I’m actually not a fan of the US cover, minus the glow in the dark thing. It’s not horrible, but it’s not my style of art unfortunately.

      Good point about Salt & Storm. I do love the paperback, but it could be any book.

  2. Bekka says:

    OMG I was wondering what was wrong with Forever Lost and THEN I SAW THE TAGLINE WHAT EVEN
    Bekka recently posted…ARC EnvyMy Profile

  3. Gillian says:

    The girl on the UK cover of Flashes (CB 10) is DAT BITCH from all the covers. Lurking. Always waiting. Always ready to spring onto a new cover at a moment’s notice.

    You should totally have a Pinterest board devoted just to covers with DAT BITCH on them.

  4. So many less than appealing covers. The parrot one screams “I have just learned to use PhotoShop” 😉 My favorite cover is the cover for “All the Birds in the Sky”, soooo pretty! Second is “Starlight”.

    The new Alex Wayfare cover does not fit the story at all in my opinion, nothing about it says time travel.
    Mari – Escape In A Book recently posted…Bookish delights in May 2015My Profile

  5. Brigid says:

    1. and then god created THE TRUTHWITCH COVER.
    6. pretty much. Looks a lot like Carol Berg’s covers.
    3. OMG WHAT IS THAT COVER?!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!

  6. Holly J says:

    Oh, that Down from the Mountain one–love that font! I’ve also never heard of it, so just added it to my TBR list. Also TRUTHWITCH!!! That cover is so badass and omg I need this book so badly in my life. But ugh, the other two An Ember in the Ashes covers are kind of awful (well, I do like Elias and the mask because of the book, but still not my favorite). For this, I’m a fan of the US cover surprisingly. And I do like both covers of Salt and Storm and A Book of Spirits and Thieves. I can’t choose!

    Two other pretties: All the Birds in the Sky and Discovering Delilah. 🙂
    Holly J recently posted…Underrated NA RecommendationsMy Profile

  7. Oh my God! This is a very awesome feature you got! I would expect for more to come. Love, love, ĺove your blog. BTW, have you read Vivian Apple Needs A Miracle? I have read the first book and I cannot wait to read that one!
    Yani @ Paper Boulevard recently posted…Review: Hush by Stacey R. CampbellMy Profile

  8. Truthwitch – A) LOVE THE COVER BADASS LADIES ALL AROUND, and B) I kind of am hoping the two MCs are a ship and not that prince dude they mentioned?

    Crossed – Did not know this series was continuing! Should probably read that ARC of book two I have sometime soon then…
    Kayla @ The Thousand Lives recently posted…YALLWest Recap: Day Two (ALL THE SIGNINGS)My Profile

  9. Mya says:

    That was hilarious! I liked all your thoughts, they made me smile and think! I completely agreed to everything you said! Perfecto!
    Mya recently posted…Blood Of Olympus By Rick Riordan REVIEWMy Profile

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