Cover Snark (137): Romancing the Snark in the City of Light

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Persuasion (The Heirs of Watson Island #2) – Martina Boone
Persuasion (Compulsion #2) - Martina Boone
Thoughts: That’s…really purple. Why has this been purpletrated on my eyeballs?

2. I Crawl Through It – A.S. King
I Crawl Through It - A.S. King
Thoughts: ABCDE ABCDE ABCDE WHAT DOES IT MEAN I think it’s a scantron, but there wouldn’t be an A to the right of an E like that. Is the character going to crawl through the hole they accidentally poked in a scantron sheet and find a hell dimension?

3. Storm (Paper Gods #3) – Amanda Sun
Storm (The Paper Gods #3) - Amanda Sun
Thoughts: On the one hand, this is fucking gorgeous. On the other hand, this didn’t need a redesign. On the third hand that I totally have, I maybe like this better than the original style. On the fourth hand, what if it just doesn’t match?

4. End of Days (Penryn & the End of Days #3) – Susan Ee
End of Days (Penryn & the End of Days #3) - Susan Ee
Thoughts: This is the best cover in the series (for me anyway), even if it does look like the floating feathers that remain after a bird gets hit by a baseball.

5. Cut Both Ways – Carrie Mesrobian
Cut Both Ways - Carrie Mesrobian
Thoughts: This teen is so incredibly tidy. They probably will not be pleased that someone painted the title on their bed.

6. All In (The Naturals #3) – Jennifer Lynn Barnes
All In (The Naturals #3) by Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Thoughts: I did not all in love with the covers for this series.

7. Alice in Wonderland High – Rachel Shane
Alice in Wonderland High - Rachel Shane
Thoughts: Sign, go home, you’re drunk.

8. Daughter of Dusk – Livia Blackburne
Daughter of Dusk - Livia Blackburne
Thoughts: I tought I taw a puddy tat.

9. A Night Divided – Jennifer A. Nielsen
A Night Divided by Jennifer A. Nielsen
Thoughts: Ooooh, barbed wire title.

10. Dead Upon a Time – Elizabeth Paulson
Dead Upon a Time - Elizabeth Paulson
Thoughts: Straight up thought this was from the 90s or 2000s, not a new book.

11. Spinning Starlight – R.C. Lewis
Spinning Starlight - R.C. Lewis
Thoughts: Just swans on in and shows off to everyone. Stop by and take a gander or flip it the bird. Whatever works.

12. The Weight of Feathers – Anna-Marie McLemore
The Weight of Feathers - Anna-Marie McLemore
Thoughts: That’s a BIIIIIIG tree. It’s also got the most horizontal limbs ever. Pretty sure there’s a freaking enormous bird about to eat this canoodling couple, because those feathers are huge compared to the people.

13. Untwine – Edwidge Danticat
Untwine - Edwidge Danticat
Thoughts: This is some fairy tale gardening. Hearts grow the prettiest flowers, but the curses man.

14. Sanctuary – Jennifer McKissack
Sanctuary - Jennifer McKissack
Thoughts: Bleghhhhh, Just look at the edges of the girl. That photoshop. Ugh.

15. The Dead Girls of Hysteria Hall – Katie Alender
The Dead Girls of Hysteria Hall - Katie Alender
Thoughts: She probably traveled back in time and met her own mom, so now she’s fading out of photographs. Did you learn nothing from Back to the Future?

16. Faceless – Alyssa B. Sheinmel
Faceless - Alyssa B. Sheinmel
Thoughts: She may not have a face but she has some Pinteresting hair.

17. Sweet Temptation (The Sweet Trilogy #4) – Wendy Higgins
Sweet Temptation (The Sweet Trilogy #4) - Wendy Higgins
Thoughts: HAHAHA TAGLINE. EWW, HIS ARMS ARE SO VEINY.

18. Summer of the Oak Moon – Laura Templeton
Summer of the Oak Moon - Laura Templeton
Thoughts: Is anyone else thinking of The 100 right now with the glowing butterflies?

19. Redeemed (The Missing #8) – Margaret Peterson Haddix
Redeemed (The Missing #8) - Margaret Peterson Haddix
Thoughts: Redeemed = besploded?

20. Ice Like Fire (Snow Like Ashes #2)- Sara Raasch
Ice Like Fire - Sara Raasch
Thoughts: Really pretty, but I think the word they were looking for was lava, not ice.

21. Ruin (The Faithful and the Fallen #3) – John Gwynne
Ruin (The Faithful and the Fallen #3) - John Gwynne
Thoughts: Ahhhh, I thought the background was just gray, but there are horses and there in stuff. So cool.

22. Blood and Salt – Kim Liggett
Blood and Salt - KIm Liggett
Thoughts: ZOMBIE REDNECK TORTURE FAMILY

23. Second Position – Katherine Locke
Second Position - Katherine Locke
Thoughts: I wonder how they’re going to make this sex position work. *ponders*

24. Placebo Junkies – J.C. Carleson
Placebo Junkies - J.C. Carleson
Thoughts: GIVE ME MY DAMN SUGAR PILL. I NEED THE HIGH.

25. Mystic (The Mystic Trilogy #1 – Jason Denzel
Mystic - Jason Denzel
Thoughts: SHE HAS MAGICAL HUMMINGBIRD PALS.

26. The Glowing Knight (The Orphan Queen #0.2) – Jodi Meadows
The Glowing Knight - Jodi Meadows
Thoughts: What the hell is that? Pippi Long Demon-Scarf?

27. What’s Broken Between Us – Alexis Bass
What's Broken Between Us - Alexis Bass
Thoughts: That is a weird ass road. Look how wide the lane is!?!?! Or maybe this is a normal road and they got shrunken. Idk.

28. A Little in Love – Susan Fletcher
A Little in Love - Susan Fletcher
Thoughts: Awww, so real talk, I saw Les Miserables a couple weeks ago and Eponine is boss. Her cover is adorably patriotic.

29. Masquerade – Joanna Taylor
Masquerade - Joanna Taylor
Thoughts: Pretty mask! Reminds me of the Aurelia cover a bit.

30. House of Windows – Alexia Casale
House of Windows - Alexia Castle
Thoughts: Did that river just become a person? (And holy shit how cool is this art and the colors my god)

31. Hardwired – Trisha Leaver & Lindsay Currie
Hardwires - Trisha Leaver & Lindsay Currie
Thoughts: This makes my eyes feel like they’re drunk.

32. Romancing the Dark in the City of Light – Ann Jacobus
Romancing the Dark in the City of Light - Ann Jacobus
Thoughts: I’m curious how one romances The Dark. Does The Dark appreciate flowers? Chocolates? Long walks on the beach?

33. The Astounding Broccoli Boy – Frank Cottrell Boyce
The Astounding Broccoli Boy - Frank Cottrell Boyce
Thoughts: Is the boy secretly a superhero or is the penguin? Or maybe the boy is both the penguin AND the superhero.

34. Resistance Is Futile – Jenny T. Colgan
Resistance Is Futile - Jenny T. Colgan
Thoughts: Nerd girl plotting obliteration mankind while falling love? UM YES PLEASE.

Cover Battles:

1. Elemental Rush (Elemental #0.5) – Elana Johnson

Elemental Rush - Elana Johnson
Elemental Rush (Elemental #0.5) - Elana Johnson

Original vs. Redesign: This whole series just got redesigned. I randomly picked one to play with, because doing a cover battle for each would be really redundant. Anyway, it’s a great redesign, though I think they’re definitely Divergenty.

2. What Remains – Helene Dunbar

What Remains - Helene Dunbar original
What Remains - Helene Dunbar

Take 1 vs. Take 2: *shrugs* Neither cover really compels. What say you? Vote, my little snarkers!

3. White Cat (The Curse Workers #1) – Holly Black

White Cat Hardcover
White Cat (The Curse Workers #1) - Holly Black Paperback
White Cat (The Curse Workers #1) - Holly Black redesign
White Cat (The Curse Workers #1) - Holly Black

US Hardcover vs. US Paperback 1 vs. US Paperback 2 vs. US Mass Market: Unpopular opinion time: I’d probably take the first redesign over the other covers. Though actually the UK has the best covers for this series. But hey the cat on the new cover looks like Bekka’s (Great Imaginations)!

4. Red Glove (The Curse Workers #2) – Holly Black

Red Glove (The Curse Workers #2) - Holly Black hardback
Red Glove (The Curse Workers #2) - Holly Black paperback
Red Glove (The Curse Workers #2) - Holly Black

US Hardback vs. US Paperback vs. US Mass Market: This new set is REALLY literal.

5. Black Heart (The Curse Workers #3) – Holly Black

Black Heart (The Curse Workers #3) - Holly Black hardback
Black Heart (The Curse Workers #3) - Holly Black

US Hardback vs. US Mass Market: Okay, I was okay with the cat one, side-eye the red glove one, but I loathe this. Ick.

6. Becoming Jinn (Becoming Jinn #1) – Lori Goldstein

Becoming Jinn - Lori Goldstein
Becoming Jinn - Lori Goldstein

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: So now it’s purple and Anna Banks likes it. Okay then.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Space Dumplins – Craig Thompson
Space Dumplins - Craig Thompson
Thoughts: This is actually a recently released cover.They were obviously going for strange, and they succeeded. I just keep staring at this oddity. SPACE DUMPLINS.

2. Gabriel (The Styclar Saga #2) – Nikki Kelly
Gabriel (The Styclar Saga #2) - Nikki Kelly
Thoughts: Another recently released cover, and this one probably not actually intending to be so funny. “Those aren’t spirit fingers; THESE ARE SPIRIT FINGERS.” caws the sassy raven, ignoring the fact that he actually has feathers. [Gillian (Writer of Wrongs) was my snarkspiration.]

3. Romancing the Million $$$ Ghost – Heidi AW Kaminski, Pam Ryan & Dorothy Thompson
Romancing the Million $$$ Ghost - Heidi AW Kaminski, Pam Ryan & Dorothy Thompson
Thoughts: Why, yes, using $$$ in the title instead of actual words was a brilliant move that will in no way make the book hard to find online.

Choose Your Favorite:

11 responses to “Cover Snark (137): Romancing the Snark in the City of Light”

  1. MJ says:

    1) Purple overload, indeed.
    3) I really liked the original covers. I wonder if they’ll still be using papyrus on the actual cover. Personally, it always irks me when there’s a redesign for the last book in a trilogy.
    7) That banner is lame.
    8) I have the first book still sitting on my shelf. So, I have no idea what the paw print is suppose to signify.
    10) Sorry, apples are sort of the Twilight cover’s thing.
    11) Love. I really like the design for this series because they’re so basic but they look really nice IRL.
    17) I thought this series was finished and when is she going to run out of evening wear?
    20) Sort of underwhelmed it’s pretty much the same as the first one but with lava.
    MJ recently posted…Realistic, Gritty, and Enjoyable: I’ll Meet You There by Heather DemetriosMy Profile

  2. Erica says:

    I’ve been wanting a place to complain about the cover of What’s Broken Between Us and this is the place. It’s about a brother and sister. Why does the cover have two people holding hands?????

  3. Gillian says:

    1. PURPLETRATED. WHAT EXCELLENT WORDPLAY.

    3. you are a many handed monster and also this is beyooteefulll

    9. OOOOO LIKE AND WANT

    13. This is gorgeous

    14. NOT a huge fan of the color palette at ALL.

    18. I’m always thinking of The 100

    20. These covers are two awesome to be allowed

    21. OOO COOOL

    22. Well that’s horrifying

    24. This is graphically AWESOME

    30. FUCKING LOVE CUTOUTSSSS

    31. ouch on my eyeballs

    34. She sounds like my kind of girl

    CB3. Oooo I definitely like the swirly hair dots best. These covers are GORGEOUS. I pick them through all the cover battles.

    CB6. Huh. *ponders* I like the lowercase b on the red cover more than the uppercase B on the purple, but I like that the bracelet’s bigger on the purple? I dunno. the red has a bit more dimension though. Deeper shadows and whatnot. I like that.

    WTF. YAY I’M FAMOOSE also I just cannot with this cover and the awful photoshop
    Gillian recently posted…Do Certain Buzzwords Make You Pick Up a Book?My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. WHY THANK YOU. I AM VERY GRAPEFUL THAT YOU THINK SO.

      3. When I can’t make fun of the cover, I just give myself extra hands because why not.

      9. WANT. Christina-bait right here.

      14. It’s sickly yellow and pink and brown and just WHY. That is what I name this color palette.

      20. TWO AWESOME

      30. This cover is so fucking gorgeous, but I fear it’s not a Christina book. But LOOK AT IT. I wonder if the hardcover will be textured.

      CB3. I really like them too, but people were SO angered by that redesign.

      CB6. Hmmmm, I think I prefer the upper case B, actually and the silvery font. Also the bracelet has eyes on the purple cover. I just noticed this and now they won’t stop staring at me.

  4. Brigid says:

    1. I actually LOVEEE the image, but NO TO THE PURPLE. Get rid of it.
    4. SHIIIIIINNNNNY
    8. Awwww look at the paw print.
    14. Did you also notice the color clash between the girl’s dress and the ocean? Bleeeeech.
    17. How many veiny dudes on YA covers can you name. On the head. On the arms. On the chest. On the neck. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
    21. You know…that’s actually really snazzy cover.
    Brigid recently posted…Review: The DUFF by Kody KeplingerMy Profile

  5. Joanne Levy says:

    I am a longtime lurker and fan of Cover Snark (as you know). I don’t normally comment, but I was blown away today when I opened this up to see Jennifer Nielsen’s A NIGHT DIVIDED – I was lucky enough to read an early draft of this book, but I’ve been busy and didn’t see that the cover had been revealed. This book is AMAZING and I can’t wait for it to get out in the world.
    Joanne Levy recently posted…Writing Process Blog TourMy Profile

  6. Hannah says:

    I will forever be thinking of the book in my head as “Lava Like Fire” now.
    Hannah recently posted…Review: Perfectly Good White Boy – Carrie MesrobianMy Profile

  7. 3. It took me a few seconds to realize that it’s the face of a woman. I’m not sure how I feel about this cover.
    4. I looooooove it. It will be so nice and shiny.
    9. I like it, despite the photo-shopped girl.
    10. I hate the title font.
    11. ♥ ❤
    17. Iewl, you are right, his arms are gross.
    20. I wantz it.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Frozen book tag.My Profile

  8. Sarah J. says:

    They have a lot better covers in this round then I usually think, but at the same time the covers I didn’t like were pretty dang horrible.
    Sarah J. recently posted…An Intro into Graphic NovelsMy Profile

  9. 10 days late and I still don’t caaaaaaare

    1. I like the purple but hate that the title and author name don’t line up when you put Compulsion and Persuasion next to one another.

    3. I agree the series needed no redesign but THAT COVER IS SEX ON PAPER. Also, did you just two new arms and turn into the goddess Kali?

    4. It’s like all those times Jinx brought us dead birds after he finished tearing them up.

    13. *sees first half of cover* OOOOOOH, I LIKE IT *sees second half of cover* …okay that’s weird but I STILL LIKE IT

    15. Her expression is asking “Oh my God what the fuck did I do at Karen’s party last night?”

    16. I noticed his fucked up eyes first and his steroid-veiny arms second. WHAT HOLE DID THIS ABOMINATION CRAWL OUT OF? WHO WAS FUCKING AROUND TOO MUCH IN PHOTOSHOP?

    19. I need that cover image for whenever I feel really hopeless and think the only way to redeem us for our bullshit is to just blow up the whole damn planet and start over on one of those planets or moons that supports life.

    26. *kicks it in the face out of fear*

    28. EPONINE. She is the one thing I really like about Les Mis. Every second she sang helped me forget every second adult Cosette sang.

    32. I like it, but I expected to see something sinister in the water.

    WTF 2. I KNEW YOUR SNARK FOR THIS COVER WOULD GIVE ME LIFE.

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