Cover Snark (133): A Curious Tale of the Snark-Between

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. The Snow Queen (The Snow Queen Cycle #1) – Joan D. Vinge
The Snow Queen - Joan D. Vinge
Thoughts: Is the reason the Snow Queen hates everything because of the weight of her headdress? Like, I would not be happy in that for many reasons.

2. Sweet (Contours of the Heart #3) – Tammara Webber
Sweet - Tammara Webber
Thoughts: Sweet is not the word I would use.Bad. Bad is the word I would use.

3. Some Kind of Normal – Juliana Stone
Some Kind of Normal - Juliana Stone
Thoughts: I don’t think it’s all that normal for blue, green, and purple rainbows to explode out of a bench, but maybe if you’re on the right drug.

4. Dark Shimmer – Donna Jo Napoli
Dark Shimmer - Donna Jo Napoli
Thoughts: Oooh, this has a sweet dark fairy tale vibe. Snow White perhaps? Evil snow white? That would be cool.

5. Where You End – Anna Pellicioli
Where You End - Anna Pellicioli
Thoughts: Well, the leaf will end on the ground eventually I imagine. I will end up on my couch reading.

6. Hallie Hath No Fury . . . – Katie Finn
Hallie Hath No Fury - Katie Finn
Thoughts: Cuuuuute, punny title, though I don’t really like it on this background.

7. The Beneath – S. C. Ransom
The Beneath - S. C. Ransom
Thoughts: Raise your hand if you’re going to think the title is “Don’t Look Below the Surface,” because it’s written SO HUGE.

8. Regenesis – Eric Walters
Regenesis - Eric Walters
Thoughts: The rainbow swirl has created LIFE. Good job, rainbow swirl.

9. Hollywood Witch Hunter – Valerie Tejeda
Hollywood Witch Hunter - Valerie Tejeda
Thoughts: Buffy the Witch Slayer goes to Hollywood.

10. A Curious Tale of the In-Between (Pram #1) – Lauren DeStefano
A Curious Tale of the In-Between - Lauren DeStefano
Thoughts: Godprammit.

11. Karen Memory – Elizabeth Bear
Karen Memory - Elizabeth Bear
Thoughts: Duuuuuuude. No one has ever looked more badass in poofy sleeves.

12. Hotel Ruby – Suzanne Young
Hotel Ruby - Suzanne Young
Thoughts: *apologizes in advance* She’s open and ready to show you a pleasant stay.

13. Mermaids and Other Mysteries of the Deep – Paula Guran, ed.
Mermaids and Other Mysteries of the Deep - Paula Guran, ed.
Thoughts: Something’s fishy here, like the size of the author names.

14. Headlong – Simon Ings
Headlong - Simon Ings
Thoughts: Snarkiness

15. For the Record – Charlotte Huang
For the Record - Charlotte Huang
Thoughts: Indeed, standing out is the opposite of fitting on. *casually kicks the person making a heart out of their hands*

16. Black Iris – Leah Raeder
Black Iris - Leah Raeder
Thoughts: This iris is really purple for a black iris, and I am well educated on this because I totally just google image searched.

17. Heart of Stone (Gods & Monsters #4) – Kelly Keaton
Heart of Stone (Gods & Monsters #4) by Kelly Keaton
Thoughts: This series is still happening?!?!?

18. The Infinite (Gates of Thread and Stone #2) – Lori M. Lee
The Infinite - Lori M. Lee
Thoughts: HOLY SHIT. THIS IS BALLS TO THE WALL AWESOME.

19. The Accidental New Yorker (The Accidental Socialite #2) – Stephanie Wahlstrom
The Accidental New Yorker (The Accidental Socialite #2) - Stephanie Wahlstrom
Thoughts: It’s going to hurt when she falls on the statue of liberty.

20. Trust Me, I’m Trouble (Trust Me #2) – Mary Elizabeth Summer
Trust Me, I'm Trouble (Trust Me #2) - Mary Elizabeth Summer
Thoughts: You can always trust people with label makers.

21. How (Not) to Fall In Love – Lisa Brown Roberts
How To (Not) Fall In Love - Lisa Brown Roberts
Thoughts: Title for the win. Models for the fail.

22. The Isle of the Lost (Descendants #1) – Melissa de la Cruz
The Isle of the Lost (Descendants ) - Melissa de la Cruz
Thoughts: Trying to decide if that’s better or worse than finding a worm in your apple. I think I’d take the thorns.

23. Sorrow’s Isle (The Copper Promise) – Jen Williams
Sorrow's Isle - Jen Williams
Thoughts: I feel like book covers would be greatly improved by having dragons. Kind of like books would be. And real life.

Cover Battles:

1. Flick – Abigail Tarttelin

Flick - Abigail Tarttelin UK
Flick - Abigail Tarttelin

UK vs. US: Nope. This was already a book cover. TRY AGAIN. I’ll not buy this cover everrrr.

2. Seed – Lisa Heathfield

Seed - Lisa Heathfield US
Seed - Lisa Heathfield

US vs. UK: Well, these don’t look the same genre at all.

3. Uprooted – Naomi Novik

Uprooted by Naomi Novik
Uprooted - Naomi Novik

US vs. UK: On the one hand, I like the UK cover art, but also I would never have guessed it was a fairy tale story or anything I would be interested in.

4. A School for Unusual Girls (Stranje House #1) – Kathleen Baldwin

A School for Unusual Girls (Stranje House, #1) - Kathleen Baldwin
A School for Unusual Girls (Stranje House, #1) - Kathleen Baldwin
A School for Unusual Girls (Stranje House #1) - Kathleen Baldwin

Take 1 vs. Take 2 vs. Take 3: Sort of a lateral move, but at least they did more than change the color this time.

5. Kinslayer (The Lotus War #2) – Jay Kristoff

Kinslayer (The Lotus War #2) - Jay Kristoff UK
Kinslayer - Jay Kristoff
Kinslayer (The Lotus War #2) - Jay Kristoff

UK vs. US vs. French: Mr. Kristoff has clearly paid off the book cover gods.

6. Life Unaware – Cole Gibsen

The Social Media Experiment - Cole Gibson
Life Unaware - Cole Gibsen

Take 1 vs. Take 2: We’ve got a redesign and title change. The new one’s less indicative of the subject matter, but I also like it a lot better.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Undesired Lust (Reckless Beat #3) – Eden Summers
Undesired Lust - Eden Summers
Thoughts: Nothing says lust like Barney colors.

2. Two-Faced (The Masks Series #2) – Melissa Pearl
Two Faced - Melissa Pearl
Thoughts: A nice tin foil mask never fails to impress.

3. Kate Walden Directs: Bride of Slug Man – Julie Mata
Bride of Slug Man - Julie Mata
Thoughts: Someone call MST3K.

Choose Your Favorite:

19 responses to “Cover Snark (133): A Curious Tale of the Snark-Between”

  1. Meg says:

    1. HOW MUCH DO I WANT THAT HEADDRESS? ANSWER: SO MUCH. I would sit around the house in my pjs watching tv, drinking and wearing MY EPIC HEADDRESS MASK.

    2. No.

    3. At least they’re exploding out of the bench and not one of them? Idk. interesting composition but somehow off-putting.

    4. CREEPTASTIC CREEPFEST I LOVE IT YES PLEASE 10/10

    5. This reminds me of that fucking plastic bag from American Beauty.

    6. HALLIE NOVELLA YOU SAY

    7. Didn’t one of the Myra Dyers kind of do this but with less graffiti-ish font?

    8. Ehhhhhh, okay

    9. She does very much seem like a kind of mash up of Faith/Dark Willow but I’m not all that whelmed.

    10. GODPRAMMIT. Still pissed about the character name.

    11. I would like to be her friend, I think.

    12. *snickers*

    13. Love the scales, though.

    14. I…I like this? Maybe? I think?

    15. This is a totally outdated concert photo, you can tell because people aren’t holding up smartphones.

    16. VAGINA FLOWER FTW

    17. I have this font. *is pleased*

    18. Dammit book, why are you so pretty? I’m going to end up buying it for the cover alone just like the first one and SOMEONE STOP ME

    17. How can one be an accidental New Yorker? With cost of living as high as it is, YOU SHOULD BE DAMN SURE YOU CAN DEAL WITH THAT.

    18. Pffft, she doesn’t look so bad.

    19. Agree

    20. I like this but am curious over how quickly Disney will sue over the use of their D.

    21. ALL COVERS SHOULD HAVE DRAGONS AKA FLYING VELOCIRAPTORS THAT BREATHE FIRE

    WTF 1: If you’re going to put lust in the title, the cover should make more of an effort.

    WTF 2: *entertains brief fantasy where this is a gender-swapped Phantom of the Opera* *is sad that it’s not*

    WTF 3: NO.

    • Meg says:

      oh wait, nevermind to #20, it’s a Disney book, should’ve seen that coming
      Meg recently posted…I Can’t Finish BooksMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. I can just see you in the kitchen, wearing your new headdress and hunting for snacks in a low cabinet. In walks Luke and all he can see is the beak up, so of course he freaks the fuck out. And then you crylaugh for eight million years.

      3. Yeah, I honestly can’t decide how I feel about this cover. I kind of like because it’s sort of like Meant to Be + a Courtney Summers book cover-wise, but also is that a trap?

      5. BAHAHAHAHAHA. I just saw the end of that again, and you are very right.

      6. Not that I remember, but maybe in a foreign cover?

      11. She’s so fucking cool.

      14. Again, honestly could not decide.

      15. Hahahaha, so true. It also just lacks…something.

      16. Given that it’s Leah Raeder, I assume they were going for that.

      17. The font is quite lovely.

      18. MAYBE IT WILL BE AMAZING BECAUSE ROBO CAT AND AWESOME SHINIES.

      19. You can accidentally fall on the Statue of Liberty. This is an oddly phallic cover.

      21. I love how out of context this is but yes you are right. OH YOU MEANT 23.

      GENDERSWAPPED PHANTOM IS A GOOD IDEA. GILLIAN, GET ON THAT.

  2. Kristin says:

    I had no idea that Life Unaware was a title & cover change. I wonder if the content has been revamped as well.
    Kristin recently posted…Review & Giveaway: Starblind by DT DyllinMy Profile

  3. Hannah says:

    I love Black Iris, loathe the cover for Sweet because it looks like every other cheesy romance novel cover, The Infinite is just AWESOME and I like rainbow things, so Regenisis is also pretty cool.

    The tinfoil one disturbs me because it looks more like mercury and I am worried for the health of the cover model.

  4. MJ says:

    1) Honestly, I’m surprised there haven’t been more Snow Queen inspired stories since Frozen.

    4) The broken mirror really makes the cover it oozes insanity.

    9) A little (a lot) of cheese went into the making of this cover.

    12) I want to see the dress…the elevator doors are nice, I guess.

    19) Hope she’s wearing some shorts under that dress otherwise she just flashed the Big Apple.

    22) Eh, sort of a downer.
    MJ recently posted…I Lack Focus: This Shattered World by Aimee Kaufman and Meagan SpoonerMy Profile

  5. 4. I think it might be about the evil Queen from Snow White. I like it.
    7. Yep, that is weird, placing a tag line so big on the cover.
    11. She looks like she owns the world. You go, woman.
    18. I love it. I should pick up this series.
    22. I just KNEW I was looking at a book about fairytales.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…TTT 40. The 2014 releases I forgot to read.My Profile

  6. 4. Love the vibe of Dark Shimmer, I like when fairy tales go dark! Totally looks like a Snow White retelling of some sort.
    7. *raises hand* TOTALLY.
    18. DUDE. Makes me want to read Gates of Thread and Stone asap just so I can read whatever awesomeness this cover is suggesting! Plus sparkles!!
    22. Pretty cute cover, I like it! Not sure if I’ll read it but yeah.
    3. I actually like the UK cover! I feel like the tower tips you off a little to the fairy tale vibe, and the whole tiny village thing. But it’s not as overt as the US cover.
    4. I still like the first cover (brown) best. This one is ok; I thought I was going crazy noticing redesigns every time I looked up the book haha.

    • Christina Franke says:

      4. That’s what I’m thinking too. It would be interesting if Snow White were the villain!

      18. I haven’t heard great things about it, but I’m hoping the series gets amazing because I WANT THIS.

      22. Same. I wish this series was being done by someone else tbh.

      CB3. The thorns are fairy tale-ish too, but hmmm. Anyway, I quite like it also.

      CB4. I think I like the new one best? But mostly I wish they’d just make up their minds. I liked the brown one just fine, and I think others did too. Constant mind-changing is not helping.

  7. Okay but Hallie Hath No Fury is a hilarious title and I almost wish it weren’t an ebook so it could sit on my shelves and just be punny.
    Kayla @ The Thousand Lives recently posted…It’s time to confess my sinsMy Profile

  8. Gillian says:

    1. Oooo that’s fabulous

    2. “She’s his one moment of sacrifice in a lifetime of survival.” O_o… also “He’s the love of her life” WAY TO GIVE AWAY THE ENDING

    4. ooooooooo

    7. UMMMMMM THAT’S NOT THE TITLE? THEN WHY IS IT THE BIGGEST THING ON THE COVER MY GOD

    11. BAD ASS PUFFLY SLEEVED LADY

    12. yeah that sounds like a brothel

    14. Whoops a snarkiness slipped through

    15. I like the purple but i also want to chop off the hands of the heart maker person

    18. I WANT ONEEEEEE

    19. the placement of all these thin vertical shapes and her open legs is just

    23. THERE ARE MY DRAGONSSSS

    CB1. ummmmm yeah that photo’s taken but also i really HATE that US one my god “I am flicking these off” AHAHAH

    CB2. SEED LOVES HER?! SEED WILL NEVER LET HER GO?? *backs away slowly*

    CB4. man they just could NOT focus on this one, could they? I guess I like it mostly because it doesn’t make me think of Unspoken and the tragedy of those redesigns. Pretty font is pretty.

    CB5. THE FRENCH ONE IS SO BAD ASSSSSS the us is my fave but still THE FRENCH ONE

    CB6. Take two is FAR more aesthetically pleasing to mine eyes

    BRIDE OF SLUG MAN
    Gillian recently posted…Fairest Blog Tour, Bookmarks, and Giveaway!My Profile

  9. Tez Miller says:

    10. For Curious Tale the author made such a big deal about the cover being the best thing ever, but it doesn’t live up to the hype. Meanwhile, this week I saw the cover for one of her other novels (UK edition of Burning Kingdoms), which is much better.

    17. This book in the Gods & Monsters series is self-published (the previous ones were with Simon & Schuster), so apparently this is how the series is still going. (I’m more interested in her adult novels under her Kelly Gay name.)
    Tez Miller recently posted…15th January 2015 ReleasesMy Profile

  10. Honestly, this never fails to amuse me! There’s so much that I can’t even talk about all of them but I spit out my drink a couple of times because of your snark haha
    Nova @ Out of Time recently posted…Book Review: Welcome to the Dark House – Laurie Faria StolarzMy Profile

  11. Dragana says:

    1. Except the snowflake in letter o in the title I don’t see how they changed this cover for this edition…

    3. Maybe it can happen if you are having allergic reaction to pollen and your eyes are leaking and the sunlight hits them at the right angle.

    4. I think it might be about the Snow White’s stepmother…

    10. Creepy.

    11. OMG SO awesome!!!!!!!!! BUT then I noticed the tentacles in the background. And now I can’t stop seeing them. :/

    12. Reminds me of the elevator in Shining.

    13. Who cares about the cover, look at those authors! And it’s about mermaids! <3

    21. It seems like light is shining out of his crotch. :/

    23. Completely agree.
    Dragana recently posted…Book Review: The Body Electric by Beth RevisMy Profile

  12. I would absolutely kick the person making a heart with their hands at the concert. I witnessed someone doing this last week at a concert, actually, and wish I was close enough to kick them. *rage*
    Lauren at Bookmark Lit recently posted…Book to Movie Review: The Maze RunnerMy Profile

  13. Brigid says:

    #4: Dark Shimmer looks like it’s going to be awesome. THAT IS SUCH A CREEPY COVER. I those those types of covers.

    #9: Buffy goes to Hollwood? Why was I not notified of this New Buffy? I gotta pay more attention to these types of things.

    #12: Hotel Ruby? Is that a book about a girl that likes to stare at people? ’cause I’ll admit to being a little uncomfortable by just looking at that cover. EW.

    #18: INFINITE COVER IS THE SHIT. Was the first book good? Anyone? I vaguely recall hearing not so good things about it.
    Brigid recently posted…Waiting on Wednesday: The Wrath & The Dawn by Renee AhdiehMy Profile

  14. 1. I can’t get over the fact that there’s a face on top of that headdress. A FACE.

    2. Yeah, not a fan of this cover. I want to read the book, though!

    3. At first, I thought this title said “Something Like Normal” and I was gonna be like UM, but then I learned how to read. So yeah.

    4. Creepy. I clearly need this book in my life.

    5. For some reason, this is reminding me of the If I Stay & Where She Went covers. The font and colors may be the reason.

    6. So this is attached to the Broken Hearts, Fences… book? I haven’t read it yet and know, like, nothing about these, but the cover matches! (Or at least the font does.)

    7. I think I’d like “Don’t Look Beneath the Surface” better as a title, honestly. And is that the publisher name in the bottom corner? I thought it was an ARC label at first.

    8. RAINBOWS.

    9. I’m not a fan of this, but it is very shiny.

    10. I love the creep-factor. I showed my brother this one, he looked & nodded. Then I told him to look at the water and he was like “HOLY CRAP SHE’S HAUNTED.” So that was fun.

    11. Sweet. Though I keep trying to figure out the background.

    12. For some reason, this font is just ruining the whole cover for me. I have no idea why.

    13. Hey, at least they didn’t put Neil Gaiman’s name biggest.

    14. This reminds me of another cover, but I can’t remember which.

    15. I don’t understand that tagline. Like, why?

    16. I NEED THIS BOOK, LIKE, YESTERDAY.

    Sidebar: “like” is apparently my favorite word today. I apologize for my overuse of it.

    17. Part of a face. And a shoulder. And a flower. Wow.

    18. So. Pretty.

    19. “The Accidental Socialite 2.” This bothers me for some reason. Like when people try to call Catching Fire “Hunger Games 2.” Me no likey.

    20. If you’re trouble, then why would I trust you?

    21. I feel like they’re standing so awkwardly. I want to read this book, but those people…

    22. I’m stuck on that Disney D. (ohmygod that sounded so unintentionally dirty.)

    23. DRAGONS FOR THE WIN.

    Cover Battles…

    1. What gets me about that picture is they’re kissing while wrapped in lights. Makes a pretty photo, but how much fumbling did there have to be to get to that point? And afterward, all tangled in the lights?

    2. It’s called…seed. Hmm. I do like the UK cover better, though. PRETTY COLORS.

    3. I’m a fan of this US cover. That flower makes me feel happy.

    4. Oh. For some reason, I thought this book was already out. At least their new cover doesn’t remind me of the original Unspoken cover.

    5. I can’t decide which I like best. US, maybe? By a very small margin?

    6. I really, really like the bird cover.

    WTF…

    1. Is that one of the cover guys who’s, like, everywhere?

    2. Ew. Not a fan of those font colors mixed with…everything else, either.

    3. No, thank you.

  15. Kayla Beck says:

    The Infinite just made me flashback to one of my favorite toys growing up. Are you old enough that you ever watched She-Ra? http://www.he-man.org/assets/images/collect_toy/catraclawdeen_full.jpg
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday: Books Where the Heroine Saves the Day/Love InterestMy Profile

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