Cover Snark (130): The One with the Purple People

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Resonance – Erica O’Rourke
Resonance - Erica O'Rourke
Thoughts: Yet another redesign for a series that didn’t have a terrible cover to begin with. This does fit with the book though.

2. Ink and Ashes – Valynne E. Maetani
Ink and Ashes - Valynne E. Maetani
Thoughts: Anyone else hate award stickers and how they get on the way on covers? I don’t ink this one is doing much for me otherwise.

3. Lucidity (The Raven Chronicles #2) – Stephanie Thomas
Lucidity - Stephanie Thomas
Thoughts: That raven has clearly taken her flapping red fabric for an enemy. Or maybe it just wants to take out her eyeballs to make the cover more unique.

4. The Revenge Playbook – Rachael Allen
The Revenge Playbook - Rachael Allen
Thoughts: Fuck yo football.

5. Don’t Ever Change – M. Beth Bloom
Don't Ever Change - M. Beth Bloom
Thoughts: I do not entirely understand this chart, but I am much intrigued by the possibilities. Yes to wrong love interests and bad kissing as long as there will be good kisses too. I mean, it’s life, right?

6. The 99th Bridge – Catherine F. King
The 99th Bridge - Catherine F. King
Thoughts: A bit busy, but there’s a dragon so I’m down.

7. Prophecy of the Six – Sheena Boekweg, Melanie Crouse, & Sabrina West
Prophecy of the Six - Sabrina West
Thoughts: Is this a lost scene from Pretty Little Liars?

8. Hold Me Closer: The Tiny Cooper Story – David Levithan
Hold Me Closer The Tiny Cooper Story - David Levithan
Thoughts: Goddamn earworm. I don’t really love the “this book is actually a beat up notebook” technique because on the actual book it ends up highlighting the artificiality, but HOLD ME CLOSER TINY COOPER COUNT THE SPOTLIGHTS ON THE STAAAAGE ACT IT OUT IN YOUR MUSICAL YOU WERE THEATRICAL TODAAAAY

9. The Blind Wish (The Jinni Wars #2) – Amber Lough
The Blind Wish - Amber Lough
Thoughts: This makes me think of Zutara. *wishes really hard*

10. Starfall – Brenda Hiatt
Starfall (#4) - Brenda Hiatt
Thoughts: Catching a falling star seemed like a great idea until she actually managed it. She was going to put it in her pocket for a rainy day, but instead it killed her and she got buried on a rainy day.

11. Just Let Me Love You (Judge Me Not #3) – S.R. Grey
Just Let Me Love You (Judge Me Not #3) - S.R. Grey
Thoughts: Ahahahaha, I’m just picturing the gif of the ostrich chasing the giraffe. Well, also wanting her outfit.

12. Ink and Bone (The Great Library #1) – Rachel Caine
Ink and Bone - Rachel Caine
Thoughts: Adding Ink to the list of words that shouldn’t be in titles anymore. Bone was already on this list. Exception: if they’re not talking about real bones.

13. Stung (Struck #2) – Joss Stirling
Stung - Joss Stirling
Thoughts: I don’t care if a scorpion is made out of hearts or rainbows; it’s still fucking terrifying. GET. IT. AWAY. FROM. ME.

14. Bone Jack – Sara Crowe
Bone Jack - Sara Crowe
Thoughts: BONE AGAIN. Unless this is a command and it’s the sexy bone. Also, does that guy have antlers or is he trying to be a sexy reindeer for his girlfriend for Christmas?

15. A Sorta Fairytale – Emily McKee
A Sorta Fairytale - Emily McKee
Thoughts: Whyyyy is the title written again above and below the title in a new font? A Sorta A Sorta Fairytale Fairytale. Also, stoooop putting quotes from inside the book on the cover. It’s just floating there with no attribution.

16. Touch – Claire North
Touch - Claire North
Thoughts: She took my life AND broke my glass.

17. The World Within: A Novel of Emily Brontë – Jane Eagland
The World Within - Jane Eagland
Thoughts: HELLO CHRISTINA BAIT.

18. No Intention of Dying (The Internment Chronicles #1.5) – Lauren DeStefano
No Intention of Dying (The Internment Chronicles, #1.5) - Lauren DeStefano
Thoughts: This has a simple majesty. I like it better than the redesigns of the actual books.

19. Paper or Plastic – Vivi Barnes
Paper or Plastic - Vivi Barnes
Thoughts: This totally looks like Bloomsbury’s If Only covers, though I actually like the blend of real and illustrated better here.

20. Song of Blood & Stone (Earthsinger Chronicles #1) – L. Penelope
Song of Blood & Stone - L. Penelope
Thoughts: Get rid of the generic tagline and I am all over this.

Cover Battles:

1. Dissonance (Dissonance #1) – Erica O’Rourke

Dissonance - Erica O'Rourke
Dissonance (Dissonance #1) - Erica O'Rourke

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: It’s sort of odd, but I think maybe still fits better than the pretty dress cover?

2. 21 Proms – David Levithan & Daniel Ehrenhaft, eds.

21 Proms
21 Proms - Various Authors

US Original vs. US Redesign: Very glad there are potentially gay couples in here. MASSIVE IMPROVEMENT.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Pieces of Paisley – Leigh Ann Lunsford
Pieces of Paisley - Leigh Ann Lunsford
Thoughts: The purple people eater is gonna have a feast.

2. Wrong Place, Right Time – Brooke Williams
Wrong Place, Right Time - Brooke Williams
Thoughts: Then the bride ran off with the Elvis. The woman in the audience just wants to be a part of it.

3. Birth Control Is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and Also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!! – Ms. Elizabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson
Birth Control Is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and Also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!! - Ms. Elizabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson
Thoughts: An oldie but a baddie.

Choose Your Favorite:

15 responses to “Cover Snark (130): The One with the Purple People”

  1. How DARE you keep bringing up Zutara this week man. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME. WHY DO YOU HURT ME SO.
    Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…ARC Book Review: When Joss Met Matt by Ellie CahillMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      *pats*

      I think it’s because my friends told me that Legend of Korra was a) ending soon and b) actually good, despite the shittiness of season 2. So I’m thinking that I need to finish and really nervous about trusting the writers again.

  2. Wow. The redesign for Dissonance/Resonance totally caught me off guard. At first I didn’t think I liked it but now I’m realizing it kind of makes more sense. Both are really pretty though, ahhhh I don’t know
    Lauren at Bookmark Lit recently posted…Random Bookish Thoughts: Book TropesMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Yeah, I think I like it too. I don’t think it’s as flashy or would necessarily have made me look twice in a store, but it’s lovely and does fit the book.

  3. Lesley says:

    Oooh, I actually really like all the redesigns this week. Yay for redesigns that are actually an improvement on the original! I’m now so much more likely to read the Erica O’Rourke books, which I was on the fence about.
    Lesley recently posted…Top Ten Tuesday (12)My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I liked the original Dissonance cover, but it didn’t fit with the content of the book at all. It’s a good change, I think. I really liked it, so I’m glad you’re maybe going to give it a try now! The 21 Proms cover is just woooorlds better.

  4. 1 – Why didn’t they just go with this concept in the first place?? *facepalm*
    9 – OH! It’s blue! Favorite color for the win <3

    Cover Battle 1 – Again, why not go with this in the first place? It’s ten times better and then I wouldn’t have to deal with the agony of having mismatched hardcovers.
    Kayla @ The Thousand Lives recently posted…End of Year Book Survey – 2014!My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. Who can say? I don’t understand the thought process at all.

      9. I do like the blue. This one’s more eye-catching than the previous, though something, um, rubs me the wrong way.

      CB1. I still think the hardcover might be more marketable, but then again the paperback might appeal to adults more? I don’t know.

  5. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. Eww….EW…..WTFWTF??

    2. I hate freaking award stickers right here!

    3. I would have liked it, I almost liked it….but it looks just so…bleh.

    6. *stares*

    20. POC! *dances*

    WTF 3:

    OH YEAH I NEED TO ADD THIS BACK ONTO GOODREADS AND STILL ALL OF THE SCREAMING.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Early Review: Cut Me FreeMy Profile

  6. Kayla Beck says:

    16. I thought it was the same as this cover, but I was wrong.
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Review: Breeding Ground by Joquena LomelinoMy Profile

  7. Gillian says:

    5. I LIKE THIS. I also do not understand the logistic of the chart (ALSO TRYING V HARD NOT TO SEE A MULTICOLORED BOOB) but i love the uniqueness of this

    8. oh god i will never not be singing this song “HOLDE ME CLOSER TONY DANZAAA”

    10. These are not spirit fingers. THESE are spirit fingers, and THESE? ARE GOLD.

    11. AHAHAAHAH LET ME LOVE YOU

    12. YES THE LIST NOW INCLUDES INK, SADLY

    13. A scorpion made of hearts is so confusing to my feelings

    18. PURTY.

    CB1. I actually kind of like this redesign

    CB2. MUCH BETTER

    WTF2. IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT LADY BE REACHIN UP TO FONDLE THE BRIDE’S ASS AND ELVIS IS JUDGING HER FOR IT
    Gillian recently posted…Top Ten New-to-Me Authors I Read In 2014My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      5. It does look like a multi-colored boob. I just like don’t know what the graph means at all. I’m still trying to make sense of it.

      8. You’re welcome.

      10. BAHAHAHAHA. YES.

      11. It’s just the best title.

      12. That happened quickly, but it’s all over now.

      13. IT UPSETS ME.

      CB1&2: It was a good week for redesigns!

  8. 1. The purple things remind me of an origami ninja star I won once, but it was shiny. THESE THINGS BETTER BE SHINY ON THE HARDCOVER.

    4. I love football, but I’m so here for a girl symbolically destroying the patriarchy by puncturing a football, one of the more well-known hypermasculine symbols. (What’s that’s not what it means? That’s what interpretation is for and I’m sticking to it.)

    6. I also see a whale, a character from My Little Pony, and a comet coming to destroy everyone.

    7. No wonder his head is down! Ana’s rocks are an outside threat? The charts behind him look like they were assembled while drunk.

    8. The hardcover better be the sparkliest fucking book in history.

    9. ZUTARAAAAAAAAAAA.

    17. Lol, I got hooked by the author’s name, not the book itself! I still have fond memories of her YA historical fiction with the lesbians.

    CB2. Damn. I can’t remember if there were gay couples in it when I had it and read some of it. 🙁

    WTF3. I heard it was written in CAPS LOCK too? *checks* HOLY HELL, IT IS. The poor woman, being robbed of her money by AuthorHouse. But still hilarious cover and book and reviews.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge