Cover Snark (129): The Double Thanksgiving Edition

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Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Twin Roses (Beau Rivage)- Sarah Cross
Twin Roses - Sarah Cross
Thoughts: I guess they’re fraternal.

2. Until Midnight (Alienated #1.5) – Melissa Landers
Until Midnight (Alienated #1.5) - Melissa Landers
Thoughts: So shiiiiny. I greatly prefer this to the actual series’ covers.

3. The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy – Sam Maggs
The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy - Sam Maggs
Thoughts: Awww, it’s in Scott Pilgrim style. Very boss.

4. Lola Carlyle’s 12-Step Romance – Danielle Younge Ullman
Lola Carlyle's 12-Step Romance - Danielle Younge Ullman
Thoughts: Looks like she’s only got one step left before she gets a dunking.

5. Daughter of Deep Silence – Carrie Ryan
Daughter of Deep Silence - Carrie Ryan
Thoughts: Daughter of Deep Boredom in a Museum.

6. The Trouble with Destiny – Lauren Morrill
The Trouble with Destiny - Lauren Morrill
Thoughts: I’M KISS OF THE WORLDDDDD.

7. Bella’s Birthday Unicorn (Unicorn Magic #1) – Jessica Burkhart
Unicorn Magic - Jessica Burkhart
Thoughts: I have no doubt that Edward is much improved as a unicorn.

8. Delicate Monsters – Stephanie Kuehn
Delicate Monsters - Stephanie Kuehn
Thoughts: Somebody really doesn’t like birds. It’s okay, bird. I don’t think you’re a monster.

9. The Invasion of the Tearling (Queen of the Tearling #2) – Erika Johansen
The Invasion of the Tearling (The Queen of the Tearling #2) - Erika Johansen
Thoughts: Invasion of the oddly shadowy person?

10. Claimed (Servants of Fate #2) – Sarah Fine
Claimed (Servants of Fate #2) - Sarah Fine
Thoughts: I’m surprised this got claimed, because it’s really unfortunate.

11. Sea of Stars (Kricket #2) – Amy A. Bartol
Sea of Stars (The Kricket Series #2) - Amy A. Bartol
Thoughts: The Sea of Drowned Women. Why are there so many drowning women on book covers?

12. The Choosing (Seer #1) – Rachelle Dekker
The Choosing (Seer #1) - Rachelle Dekker
Thoughts: That moment where you think it’s a pretty dystopian cover and then realize it’s from a Christian imprint so it’s probably about hell.

13. The Undying: Shades: An Apocalyptic Thriller – Ethan Reid
The Undying Shades An Apocalyptic Thriller
Thoughts: A WORLD OF NOPE.

14. The Mammoth Book of Dieselpunk – Sean Wallace, ed.
The Mammoth Book of Dieselpunk edited by Sean Wallace
Thoughts: Dude, I would not expect something called Dieselpunk to have such sweet style. I really want her outfit.

15. Bleeding Earth – Kaitlin Ward
Bleeding Earth - Kaitlin Ward
Thoughts: That blood is unnaturally bright. Someone should get the earth checked out. Though I wonder if the earth would bleed red at all. Maybe it bleeds lava?

16. Devil’s Pocket (Phoenix Island #2) – John Dixon
Devil's Pocket - John Dixon
Thoughts: I’ve got to hand it to them: one of the three fiery things actually looks realistic.

17. Burn (Scan #2) – Sarah Fine
Burn - Sarah Fine
Thoughts: Michael Bay’s going to pick this up for the film version, right?

18. Red Moon Rising – Paula Harrison
Red Moon Rising - Paula Harrison
Thoughts: Apparently cute forest creatures follow those with magical powers, much like they follow fairy tale princesses. Either that or bunnies and owls are as nosy as crows.

19. The Fire Sermon – Francesca Haig
The Fire Sermon - Francesca Haig
Thoughts: This cover is the beginning and the end. The beginning of my boredom and the end of my attention span.

20. Sword – Amy Bai
Sword - Amy Bai
Thoughts: Man, I wish I could train my hair to do stuff like wield swords. Mine’s totally useless.

21. The Arctic Code (Dark Gravity Sequence #1) – Matthew J. Kirby
The Arctic Code (The Dark Gravity Sequence #) - Matthew J. Kirby
Thoughts: “Come on, wolves. Don’t do this. I’m wearing my santa jacket, which means that if you attack me you’re getting coal in your stockings.”

22. Of Fire and Ash (Fairy Queens #1.5) – Amber Argyle
Of Fire and Ash - Amber Argyle
Thoughts: What happened? These are usually so pretty. *swats the tiny fairies*

23. The Favorite (The Selection #2.6) – Kiera Cass
The Favorite - Kiera Cass
Thoughts: And this proceeds to be the least popular of all the Selection covers.

24. My Fairly Dangerous Godmother (My Fair Godmother 3) – Janette Rallison
My Fairly Dangerous Godmother - Janette Rallison
Thoughts: Her cotton candy is falling apart. All that magic and she can’t fix it.

25. Blackout (Annum Guard #2) – Meredith McCardle
Blackout - Meredith McCardle
Thoughts: A spirit train is running over a spirit truck covered in rockets. Sure.

26. Rebound (Boomerang #1) – Noelle August
Rebound (Boomerang #1) - Noelle August
Thoughts: Kissing underwater in clothing. And lipstick drawn on the weird stock photo. How romantic.

27. Whispers from the Dead (Serenity’s Plain Secrets #2) – Karen Ann Hopkins
Whispers from the Dead (Serenity's Plain Secrets #2) - Karen Ann Hopkins
Thoughts: That barn looks a bit like an upside down skull.

Cover Battles:

1. The Queen of the Tearling (The Queen of the Tearling #1) – Erika Johansen

The Queen of the Tearling (Queen of the Tearling #1) - Erika Johansen hardcover
The Queen of the Tearling (Queen of the Tearling #1) - Erika Johansen

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Noooooo. The hardcover was gorgeous and this is…red.

2. Dead Girl Walking (Royal Reaper #1) – Ruth Silver

Dead Girl Walking (Royal Reaper #1) - Ruth Silver
Dead Girl Walking (Royal Reaper #1) - Ruth Silver

Original vs. Redesign: Does this scythe match my crown?

3. Grasshopper Jungle – Andrew Smith

Grasshopper Jungle
Grasshopper Jungle - Andrew Smith

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I’ve actually read this book and the new cover’s pretty much perfect for the content, though admittedly not as…eye-catching.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. This Time Now – KT Grant
This Time Now - KT Grant
Thoughts: Setting aside the terrible photoshop work, she looks a second away from sexing that guitar, which is a different kind of romance.

2. I’ll Give You the Sun – Jandy Nelson
I'll Give You the Sun - Jandy Nelson
Thoughts: The Swedish cover of I’ll Give You the Sun is…incomprehensible.

3. Flame Dancer – Natasha Von Rosenschilde
Flame Dancer - Natasha Von Rosenschilde
Thoughts: BOOBWINGS

Choose Your Favorite:

11 responses to “Cover Snark (129): The Double Thanksgiving Edition”

  1. Wait, so they redesigned The Queen of the Tearling to THAT, and then the sequel looks like THAT? WTF? Someone really thought matching covers in a series is overrated, huh? -.-
    Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…ARC Book Review: We Should Hang Out Sometime by Josh SundquistMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I HAAAAATE IT. Thankfully I didn’t love TQotT so I won’t have to buy the books, but I’m still offended for design’s sake.

  2. 1. How boring.
    2. Pretty! It would be cool if they added real sparkles to the cover.
    7. Cuuuute.
    9. Meh, how disappointing. And they also changed the design from the first book, WHY.. It doesn’t match together and they are both ugly now.
    12. That looks like a very pretty dress.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 304. Marie Rutkoski – The winner’s curse.My Profile

  3. MJ says:

    1) Um, compared to the other covers in this series this one is really snooze worthy.

    2) So, is this a Christmas theme story? It reminds me of the cover of a children’s book that I used to read about Christmas trees-forgot the title.

    5) So stiff. If it is about a museum I wish they could’ve followed in vein with the cover of Starry Night. While I didn’t like the book, the cover was at least boss.

    17) As long as there’s no comparison on the blurb that says My Little Pony meets Twilight.

    24) Had no idea this series was getting another installment.
    MJ recently posted…Grumpy Cat Move Over I’m Grumpy Beagle: Starry Night by Isabel GilliesMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. If it helps, I think this is just a short story.

      2. I’m guessing so? But I don’t know for sure.

      5. Oh wow. I totally don’t read blurbs most of the time. It really is about a girl bored off her ass in a museum. Cool.

      7. I’m sure there’s not. HAHAHA.

      24. Me either. That’s a long gap.

  4. Kayla Beck says:

    9. This is one of those instances where a book cover just really pisses me off. The Queen of the Tearling was too good of a book for its sequel to get a piss poor cover!

    20. I bet I could hold a sword with my frizzy ginger locks.

    22. Wow, those dark fairies look like some really bad sci-fi/fantasy art that was huge in the 90s.

    CB1. And this pisses me off even more. *sigh*
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Debut Author Giveaway Hop #2 (INT)My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      9/CB1. I didn’t like TQotT all that much, but I’m still pissed. They had a beautiful cover. Go redesign some shitty covers. WHY DO THIS? WHYYYYY? It doesn’t even appeal to a different audience. GRUMBLE.

      22. Yeah, it looks like a shitty video game. Not impressed.

  5. Gillian says:

    3. SO ADORABLEEEE

    5. lollllll what even

    6. beyond adorable and perfect reference is perfect

    7. HA I BET HE STILL SPARKLES IN THE SUNLIGHT THOUGH

    10. This freaks me out

    13. KILL IT

    15. oh that’s horrifying

    17. her eye is… doing something funky. her face has gone a bit awry.

    18. SO CUTE but i totally thought that red square was the proof square on Harper ARCs

    19. I kinda like this actually, particularly the background and title fonts. the alpha and omega isn’t terrrribly interesting, you’re right

    20. GIMME UR HAIR OMK

    22. I still like this one

    23. the worst thing i have veer laid eyes on

    25. kinda bad ass though

    27. CREEPY DEEPY

    CB1. Okay i guess I’m one of four people who doesn’t hate the redesign. I prefer the hardcover because it’s beeyootiful but I kinda like the red and the font and the blue castle? idk

    Cb2. Don’t super love the redesign but the original is ATROCIOUS

    CB3. LOVE THIS LOVE THIS MUCH BETTER MUCH BETTER DOESN’T BURN MINE EYES even though i normally hate looking at bugs. The only thing i don’t love is how CLOSE THE THE LEFT EDGE THAT BLURB QUOTE IS WHYYYY

    WTF1. holy shit what is with that photoshop SHE IS DISTORTED

    WTF2. I’ll Give You the Whut

    WTF3. AHAHAHAHAHAH
    Gillian recently posted…Review: Top Ten Clues You’re Clueless by Liz CzukasMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      5. I just..what?

      7. LIKE DUH.

      18. Me too. Every time I look at it. EVERY TIME.

      19. It’s like they stole the Wildefire cover theme but stuck an alpha and omega on it. Like it’s not horrible, but waaaaay too much religious stuff is happening here for me.

      20. SUCH ART.

      25. Really? I legit loathe this one.

      CB1. I hate the sequel cover, but this one’s meh. However, I LOVE THE SHINY GOLD ON THE HARDCOVER.

      CB2. Yeah, it’s still not great, but it’s an improvement, so good on them.

      CB3. EW, CANNOT UNSEE THAT. ARGH.

      WTF1. Like HOW does this pass? I don’t understand.

      WTF2. Okay, the book IS about art, but ummmmm

  6. Maddi says:

    I think the Fire Sermon’s cover is gorgeous. I don’t see why you’d think it looks boring.

  7. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. That red rose looks sickly…

    3. OMG look, she has thick legs! YEAH!

    11. *secretly loves*

    13. Ew, no thank you.

    20. *dyingdyingdying* I WANT IT.

    22. MEH. Where is the effort??!
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Early Review: Cut Me FreeMy Profile

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