Cover Snark (125): The One with Girls Kissing

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. A Court of Thorns and Roses (A Court of Thorns and Roses #1) – Sarah J. Maas
A Court of Thorns and Roses - Sarah J. Maas
Thoughts: Court a Thorns of Roses and. That’s the title I’m seeing. Or just Court Thorns Roses. I mean, obviously the word “Court” comes before “a,” so A can’t be the start of the title. PLEASE GET THE ARTICLE AND CONJUNCTIONS OUT. Also, does she have black fibers growing out of her skin??? *shudders*

2. Mistletoe and Mr. Right – Lyla Payne
Mistletoe and Mr. Right - Lyla Payne
Thoughts: That is just the happiest fluffball of a dog I’ve ever seen. The temperature is probably finally just right for wearing that fur coat around.

3. About a Girl – Sarah McCarry
About a Girl - Sarah McCarry
Thoughts: Weeeeeeeee! POC lesbian kiss. Automatic love. I only hope the thorns on top mean this is going to be some sort of modernized Sleeping Beauty sort of thing, because otherwise why.

4. The Porcupine of Truth – Bill Konigsberg
The Porcupine of Truth - Bill Konigsberg
Thoughts: I’m glad that Wonder Woman decided to upgrade to the porcupine model, because it’s so much cuter than the lasso.

5. Fragments (Running on Empty #1) – M.R.Field
Fragments (Running on Empty #1) - M.R.Field
Thoughts: Fragments are all they will find of her once he’s done with her.

6. All We Have Is Now – Lisa Schroeder
All We Have Is Now - Lisa Schroeder
Thoughts: Is this another pre-apocalyptic? Whatever, don’t care, because pretty colors and fonts. *strokes computer screen*

7. The Heir (The Selection #4) – Kiera Cass
The Heir - Kiera Cass
Thoughts: “Mom, you really were uncouth, sniffing your armpit like that. This is how it’s done.” Really, though, this one doesn’t have the crack, can’t-stop-staring quality the others did. I think it’s the dress.

8. Last Will and Testament (Radleigh University #1) – Dahlia Adler
Last Will and Testament - Dahlia Adler
Thoughts: I’m sort of meh on this, but props for an NA cover without white people kissing. Also, why does a standard white font make the author name look so good? *stares inquisitively*

9. Magic Shifts (Kate Daniels #8) – Ilona Andrews
Magic Shifts (Kate Daniels #8) - Ilona Andrews
Thoughts: I’m guessing she stole something from that lion and the lion is PISSED. That face just roars “Give me my money back, you bitch!”

10. Forever for a Year – B. T. Gottfred
Forever for a Year - B. T. Gottfred
Thoughts: You keep using that word. I’m cherry doubtful it means what you think it means.

11. Twist (Loop #2) – Karen Akins
Twist (Loop #2) - Karen Akins
Thoughts: This looks one hundred percent like a direct to video fantasy or sci fi movie from the 90s.

12. The Game of Love and Death – Martha Brockenbrough
The Game of Love and Death - Martha Brockenbrough
Thoughts: Satan just pricked her pinkie as a distraction so he could wrest that miniature plane from her. What an odd game.

13. Damage Done – Amanda Panitch
Damage Done - Amanda Panitch
Thoughts: It is too late to catch a killer when they’ve died, peacefully, of old age, their crimes undiscovered. The damage is done, so I guess I’ll be leaving.

14. The Summer After You and Me – Jennifer Doktorski
The Summer After You and Me - Jennifer Doktorski
Thoughts: Let’s just say that Sally didn’t take the break up well. She, well, she moved to the beach and tries to live as one with the seagulls.

15. Frail Mortal Heart (The Name of the Blade #3) – Zoe Marriott
Frail Mortal Heart - Zoe Marriott
Thoughts: I’m sorry, but the title Mortal Heart has been claimed by Robin LaFevers. Sweet dragons, though.

16. Emmy & Oliver – Robin Benway
Emmy & Oliver - Robin Benway
Thoughts: I…might actually approve of this cover heart. It’s finger prints! And the cursive font is adorbs.

17. A School for Brides: A Story of Maidens, Mystery, and Matrimony – Patrice Kindl
A School for Brides A Story of Maidens, Mystery, and Matrimony - Patrice Kindl
Thoughts: Ahahahaha, it’s like chutes and ladders but with matrimony.

18. Rescuing the Bad Boy – Jessica Lemmon
Rescuing the Bad Boy - Jessica Lemmon
Thoughts: No matter how many times he pees on your stuff, you’ll always rescue your bad dog. Hey, dude, get out of the shot. No one wants you. This is obviously the story of a pet owner saving her doggy.

19. First Class Murder (Wells & Wong #3) – Robin Stevens
First Class Murder (Wells & Wong #3) - Robin Stevens
Thoughts: I would like those dresses. Also, I’m wondering how that train can run without tracks. DEMON TRAIN.

20. The Awesome – Eva Darrows
The Awesome - Eva Darrows
Thoughts: *weeps* Someone has a very different definition of what constitutes awesome. Mine’s a snuggly cat, a comfy couch, a big pile of books, and snacks.

21. Trigger Warning: Short Fictions and Disturbances – Neil Gaiman
Trigger Warning Short Fictions and Disturbances
Thoughts: They told me I couldn’t use this branch as a walking stick, but I showed them!

Cover Battles:

1. Every Word (Every #2) – Ellie Marney

Every Word - Ellie Marney Australian
Every Word - Ellie Marney

Australian vs. US: I mean, if he’s next door, how far do you really have to go? But also US cover alllll the way.

2. Hit – Delilah S. Dawson

Hit - Delilah S. Dawson
Hit - Delilah S. Dawson

Take 1 vs. Take 2: *frowns* I liked the other one better. Also, it’s a sideways credit card, so I’m going to want to look at it horizontally and ugh.

3. I Was Here – Gayle Forman

I Was Here - Gayle Forman
I Was Here - Gayle Forman

US vs. UK: Was this designed to match the film tie-in edition of If I Stay? That’s so weird.

4. Firefight (Reckoners #2) – Brandon Sanderson

Firefight (The Reckoners #2) - Brandon Sanderson
Firefight (Reckoners #2) - Brandon Sanderson

US vs. UK: Still cannot see this cover without yelling “THERE WAS A FIREFIIIIIIIIIIGHT.”

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Wolf of Stone (The Gypsy Healer Series #2) – Quinn Loftis
Wolf of Stone - Quinn Loftis
Thoughts: Did she and a wolf just go to an outdoor spa together?

2. Baggy Pants & Bootees – Marilyn Chapman
Baggy Pants & Bootees - Marilyn Chapman
Thoughts: THIS TITLE. It one hundred percent makes this book sound like it’s about a baby with a poopy diaper.

3. Womb of the New World – Mira Noire
Womb of the New World - Mira Noire
Thoughts: I am every kind of uncomfortable.

Choose Your Favorite:

17 responses to “Cover Snark (125): The One with Girls Kissing”

  1. Meg says:

    1. https://31.media.tumblr.com/f9d10e85c7d2c9545e88d5a38834fb66/tumblr_inline_ndwi4sqhso1qlw3wq.gif

    2. My eyes are vomiting. It’s a strange, unpleasant sensation and I don’t like it.

    3. Loveity lovely love love love. Maybe it’s not Sleeping Beauty, maybe it’s a gender-swapped lesbian/bi Jack and the Beanstalk retelling. Judging by the previous books in the series, it’ll be something myth-related. Mythical gardening? I don’t know things.

    4. Not my favorite book cover but if I had little circle porcupine stickers I would put them everywhere

    5. http://www.snarksquad.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/murder.gif

    6. “side-eyes line spacing* *twitches*

    7. I really hate that these books are so damn pretty and hell I’m going to end up reading The Selection, I can feel it. *weeps*

    8. The more I look at this the more I like it. I agree with the sort of meh but also there’s something elegant happening that I like.

    9. EXCUSE ME MA’AM DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS AN ANGRY LION BEHIND YOU MAYBE POINT THE SWORD THE OTHER WAY

    10. *snickers*

    11. OMG IT REALLY DOES EXCELLENT CALL

    12. I like it? I think? I don’t understand though

    13. Interesting concept, not sure how I feel about the execution

    14. The unauthorized sequel to September Girls, now with more bird.

    15. This should be so much cooler looking than it actually is.

    16. CUUUUUUTE

    18. Is his torso disproportionally short or is it just me? Maybe his pants are just pulled up kind of high? I can’t tell.

    20. CREEPY CLASSIC B HORROR MOVIE STYLE ILLUSTRATION LOVE LOVE LOVE

    21. This looks less Gaiman, more Elizabeth George. Nothing against Elizabeth George but I want more from my Gaiman covers

    WTF1. HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I JUST HURT MYSELF I’M LAUGHING SO HARD

    WTF2: STOP, STOP IT’S TOO MUCH I CAN’T

    WTF3: ded
    Meg recently posted…Review: Exquisite Captive by Heather DemetriosMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. YOU WOULD USE A GIF OF HURLEY. THE IRONY.

      2. Christmas covers often have this effect on me.

      3. I also do not know things. But, despite the low reviews for the first book in the series, I’m totally reading it now. All authors have to do is write a gay romance and I will embark on their series without a doubt. Very effective Christina trap.

      4. Yeah, I don’t love the cover, but the porcupine is adorbs. Like a little fire pokemon.

      5. Is this that show people have been talking about? I don’t know things.

      6. NOOOOO, now I cannot unsee the small gap between is and now.

      7. I really hope the last book in the series has a velociraptor in a fancy dress, side-eyeing the reader.

      8. Is it the cute shoulder freckles? I just really don’t like the way the title’s done. The rest I’m okay with.

      9. Maybe he’s just announcing the start of the movie.

      10. This cover is awful. Also, this title.

      11. I can almost see Merlin popping out or something.

      12. Yeah, I really don’t know how to feel about this one. I am saying YES and NO in equal measure.

      13. I find this vaguely off-putting.

      14. Haaaaaa. I’m going to read this without a doubt, even though both of her previous ones angered me. HALP.

      15. I actually like it, but the title annoys me greatly.

      17. YOU HAVE COMMENTS FOR ALL BUT THIS ONE. I AM INTRIGUED.

      18. His pants look like they’re sitting at about the belly button, so I think maybe both. Perhaps also the camera angle and the fact that he’s an inverted triangle shape?

      21. Yeah, it’s mostly just boring. But actually all his short story collection covers are like this. Sad truth.

      WTF3. I like that you are buying this. Now people cannot say the WTFs don’t do well too. I mean.

  2. Gillian says:

    1. This is the UK cover, btw. The US cover has black stuffs on the edges. I lurrrve this cover except, like you, the articles INSIDE the O’s is just not good for my eyesss

    2. PUPPYYYYYY

    3. So much yes.

    7. I totally would wear the dress, and I love the color palette (love the rich, dark grey and cool purple) but I think it’s the color palette that keeps it from being CAN’T LOOK AWAYish like The Selection.

    10. CHERRY DOUBTFUL BWAHAHA

    11. IT SO DOES OMK

    14. The Geography of the Summer of the Beginning of the Start of Me and You and ACKKKK

    15. Seriously that title’s kiiinda mostly taken (cool cover tho)

    16. Love the font and fingerhearts. Don’t love the vague oceany bit at the bottom

    17. Bloody adorable

    18. I get VERY uncomfortable when romance covers have a human and an animal and no one else.

    20. OH GOD KILL IT KILL IT

    WTF1. WTF

    WTF3. WT EXTRA F
    Gillian recently posted…Blogger Trick or Treat: Spooky ReadsMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. I did not know that. But also, I don’t much care because I do not label them unless there is a battle, which I do for precisely this reason. Research is time-consuming and I am lazy.

      2. SO FLUFFYYYYYY.

      7. I would look so blah in gray. It’s not so much that I think it’s a bad dress, but the cover ends up sort of muted rather than banging. With me eye-banging it. You know.

      10. Teehee. I’m waiting for someone to correct me on the quote and I will be so annoyed because OBVIOUSLY I NEEDED TO MAKE THE PUN OKAY.

      14. You are good at this game.

      15. I do like the cover quite a bit really.

      16. I had not noticed the oceany bit and now I am sad. (why do i do this when i don’t pay attention?)

      17. I want this book so desperately. We should buddy read it and flail.

      18. ME TOO.

      20. THANK YOU. THIS IS THE REACTION I EXPECT, UNLIKE MEG THAT IS AWESOME MORLEY.

  3. Kayla Beck says:

    7. Oh, this is still my crack cocaine. I fucking love this series, and I have no idea why. *makes grabby hands*

    9. My co-blogger wants me to read this series, and it’s just really difficult for me. It would have to be an ebook or audiobook, because I’m not taking these covers in public.

    11. And, of course, it doesn’t match the first one.
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Review: The Young Elites by Marie LuMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      9. Yeah, I hear mixed accounts of this and I’m not sure if I want to read it either. I’m unfortunately tied to print books, so I would just have to carry them and stare down anyone who judged me.

      11. Ehhhh, it sort of matches based on my memory. Hopefully they fix it though.

      • Kayla Beck says:

        9. I have to have something to listen to in the car besides the crap that comes on the radio these days, so I’m pretty obsessed with audiobooks. I’m more likely to be able to sneak ebooks at work on my computer, so…

        11. All I can think of being similar is the swirls.

  4. Anya says:

    OMERGHOD So About a Girl is labeled as Fantasy by three users but I can’t tell from the title if it actually will have fantasy elements and a strange part of me worries they labeled it such because they think girls falling in love is fantasy >.>
    Anya recently posted…How to Train Your Dragon by Cressida Cowell Audiobook {4 Stars}My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I think it actually IS a fantasy. I believe the series is mythology stuff, but I don’t know any more than that. Pretty sure it’s not a contemp!

  5. Dragana says:

    9, Actualy, that lion is her husband. lol

    WTF3. Why we can’t vote for this work of art? :p
    Dragana recently posted…Book Review: The Genome by Sergei LukyanenkoMy Profile

  6. Angie says:

    1-I am not a fan of this cover and it makes me very sad.
    3-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE SO MUCH. I think I read in the article that it’s some kind of Medea retelling or something. A definite improvement over the other covers in the series.
    7-MAKE IT STOP. Or at least make the dress prettier.
    10-*snickers*
    12-I like the font but I do not understand the purpose of the plane.
    16-This one is super cute.

    The UK gets all the best Sanderson covers. And yes I am totally sitting here pouting about it because they are also much more expensive.

  7. COVER SNARK AGAIN OH THE JOY.

    1. Yeah, I hate how the title is done here. Other wise, I do like the black against the red. Did you see the UK version? WHY EVEN? It’s basically the same cover plus some random trees on the right hand side.

    2. I hate wintery covers.

    3. I love this cover. I’m guessing the vines are to tie it in to the others in the trilogy?

    4. Eh. <—- That was me overlooking it at the bookstore.

    5. That's… not creepy at all.

    6. I really like the chalkboard font against the purple and orange here. Very nice.

    7. These covers have the PRETTIEST dresses.

    8. I don't feel any way about this cover. Is not terrible or amazing. But I would probably buy it if I saw it in a bookstore.

    9. I am so tired of the UF covers with random animals fading into the background. SO TIRED.

    10. And the cherries serve what purpose exactly?

    11. BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD.

    12. It looks like two spiders fighting over a children's toy.

    13. I really love this! I hope that the hardcover is just the entire face of the girl minus the frost. Kinda like they did for the original cover for Delirium.

    14. I like the font here.

    15. I love all the covers in this series. I need to pick them up.

    16. LOVE

    17. Huh. This is interesting.

    18. *snort* LOLZ. I'm sorry, but the inclusion of the random dog — albeit cute — completely kills the Bad Boy vibe I get from this guy.

    19. This is okay for a MG, I guess. Though, I do like what S&S did with the US edition of book 1 much better.

    20. NOPE

    21. For a minute, I thought "Trigger Warning" was just that: a warning. Didn't realize it was the actual title. UGH. Just re-title it. Bad, title, bad!

    CB1. US, sorry Aussies.

    CB2. I'm kinda sad they re-designed this. I like the original a lot more with the gun as her eye! So creative! However, I'm not opposed to the new one either. I'm just not a huge fan of the entire thing being sideways. I don't want to have to tilt my head when I'm browsing shelves at the bookstore.

    CB3. That's what I thought too! They must be trying to capitalize off the movie-tie in edition of If I Stay. BUT I do like the UK's cover more than that and the US version of I Was Here. So yeah.

    CB4. Sorry UK, but NO.

    WTFs: I am always baffled that someone okay'd these. LOL.
    Steph Sinclair recently posted…Review: Exquisite Captive by Heather DemetriosMy Profile

  8. The Heir’s cover is actually what convinced me to read The Selection! It’s my favorite of all of them, and I MUST have a copy on my shelf, just for the pretty 😉

    Well, that decides it. I’m getting the UK versions of the rest of the Reckoners series. The US redesign is SO ugly!
    Kayla @ The Thousand Lives recently posted…So I read a horror book – and I didn’t die! [A Halloween post of sorts]My Profile

  9. 1. While it’s not what I expected, I like it. I only wish, like you, that they didn’t put those words in the o’s.
    3. I don’t like it, but yeay for two kissing girls on a cover!
    15. I like how kick-ass these covers are.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Monthly Recap. October.My Profile

  10. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. I actually like the cover more now that I seen that it is illustrated.

    2. OH GODS MY EYES.

    3. Lovely, except for the thorns.

    6. I wouldn’t mind seeing more of this.

    7. Covers are getting better, stories still look like crap.

    15. The guy on the front? SWOON.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Movie Review: Mockingjay Pt 1My Profile

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