Cover Snark (118): The One with the Strange Birds

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Embers (The Wings of War #1) – Karen Ann Hopkins
Embers (The Wings of War #1) - Karen Ann Hopkins
Thoughts: Well, as wing covers go, this is okay. It’s very much every paranormal cover ever, but whatever.

2. Cinderella, or The Little Glass Slipper – Charles Perrault
Cinderella, or The Little Glass Slipper - Charles Perrault
Thoughts: This version should have the eye-pecking right? It kind of looks like her eyes are coming out in chunks right now. Ugly stepsister then?

3. Captive – Brighton Walsh
Captive - Brighton Walsh
Thoughts: How nice of the past to at least give you the keys to free yourself from captivity.

4. Playlist for the Dead – Michelle Falkoff
Playlist for the Dead - Michelle Falkoff
Thoughts: I would TAPS them on the shoulder, but they don’t have any shoulders.

5. More Happy Than Not – Adam Silvera
More Happy Than Not - Adam Silvera
Thoughts: I’m smiling more than not.

6. Rival (Feuds #0.5) – Avery Hastings
Rival (Feuds #2) - Avery Hastings
Thoughts: Covers can also be the greatest enemy.

7. Half a War (Shattered Sea #3) – Joe Abercrombie
Half a War (Shattered Sea #3) - Joe Abercrombie
Thoughts: Half-hearted. Oh wait, no. More like half-arted.

8. Black Heart (The Barrow #2) – Mark Smylie
Black Heart (The Barrow #2) - Mark Smylie
Thoughts: Is it just me or do they look like a young Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth?

9. Robin Hood (Mark of the Black Arrow #1) – Debbie Viguié, James R. Tuck
Robin Hood (Mark of the Black Arrow #1) by Debbie Viguie, James R. Tuck
Thoughts: Tuck’s a pretty apt author name for a Robin Hood book. Also, this looks like the BBC show.

10. One Song Away – Molli Moran
One Song Away - Molli Moran
Thoughts: Oh look, someone’s engagement photo with three different non-compelling fonts on it. I particularly enjoy the way the capitalization makes the title sort of look like ONES ong AWAY. Running those words together was a great idea. As was a beige coat on a yellow background.

11. Shadow Study (Study #4) – Maria V. Snyder
Shadow Study (Soulfinders #5) - Maria V. Snyder
Thoughts: Ah, so she’s studying her shadow behind herself. “Does this cloak make my shadow look fat?

12. The Moment of Letting Go – J. A. Redmerski
The Moment of Letting Go - J. A. Redmerski
Thoughts: The title and her weird expression makes me think she just peed on the bitch. Let it go. Let it GOOOOOO.

13. The Girl Who Read the Stars (Otherworld #1.5) – Skylar Dorset
The Girl Who Read the Stars - Skylar Dorset
Thoughts: It’s kind of sad when the novella cover is the best cover, but oh well. Yay for no models.

14. Love Like Crazy – Megan Squires
Love Like Crazy - Megan Squires
Thoughts: That font is sooooo cute in color and writing and I just love all of this business.

15. The Artisans – Julie Reece
The Artisans - Julie Reece
Thoughts: Simple and lovely. Looks like Month 9 books might be stepping up their efforts.

16. Puppet – Pauline C. Harris
Puppet - Pauline C. Harris
Thoughts: *shudders* I’m not sure what’s worse: the arm or the way she’s looking at me.

17. The Mesmerized – Rhiannon Frater
The Mesmerized - Rhiannon Frater
Thoughts: *cries in corner* These two covers together are too much for my weak heart.

Cover Battles:

1. The Ghosts of Heaven – Marcus Sedgwick

The Ghosts of Heaven - Marcus Sedgwick UK
The Ghosts of Heaven - Marcus Sedgwick

UK vs. US: *queues up Led Zeppelin* For all that I am terrified of that stairway, I am drooling over this cover.

2. Denton Little’s Deathdate – Lance Rubin

Denton Little's Deathdate - Lance Rubin US
Denton Little's Deathdate - Lance Rubin

US vs. UK: The highlighter-colored UK cover is no highlight for me. I’ll take the more Six Feet Under kind of cover.

3. Pear Shaped – Stella Newman

Pear Shaped - Stella Newman UK
Pear Shaped - Stella Newman Italian
Pear-Shaped - Stella Newman

UK vs. Italian v. US: Mmmm, donut. I do not approve of a hear shape in a donut, because 1) I was promised a pear shape and 2) that’s less donut than the regular circular donut hole.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Through the Shimmer of Time – Jennifer Jensen
Through the Shimmer of Time - Jennifer Jensen
Thoughts: I love how you can see that the kid in the background has been cut out of another background. That’s some great Photoshop work.

2. The Nesting Habits of Strange Birds – Charley Descoteaux
The Nesting Habits of Strange Birds - Charley Descoteaux
Thoughts: They are clearly some looney birds.

3. Roaring Up the Wrong Tree (Grayslake #3) – Celia Kyle
Roaring Up the Wrong Tree (Grayslake #3) - Celia Kyle
Thoughts: THE BEAR’S EXPRESSION. Also, the bestiality.

Choose Your Favorite:

Dear readers, this is where you vote for your FAVORITE cover. Please do not upvote a friend’s cover at their behest, unless you truly believe it’s the best cover. I can’t stop you, but if it happens again, I will be closing down the voting. The point is to see which covers people like, not to know which author/designer/whatever has the most friends. Okay? We cool? Now go vote! Clearly this is too difficult.

Last Week’s Winner:

The people have spoken! The most popular cover from last week’s poll was Best Friends Through Eternity by Sylvia McNicoll, published by Tundra Books. Best Friends Through Eternity won by almost twice as much as the cover in second place.

Update: it has come to my attention that the author asked friends to vote for her cover. There’s nothing I can do to prevent this, but I want that to be made known since it skews results. For now, I’m leaving this as the winner, but if I get proof of upvoting again, I’ll not be doing the poll and winner anymore. Also, to be clear, under no circumstances do I want anyone attacking or contacting this author. She obviously didn’t know how these posts work. However, I also want people to know that this cover might not have won and that Lois Lane: Fallout had been in the lead on the first day.

Best Friends Through Eternity - Sylvia Mcnicoll

6 responses to “Cover Snark (118): The One with the Strange Birds”

  1. Oh yeah, Cover Snark. I’ve been so busy the past few weeks I kinda forgot. D: BUT NOW I CAN DO IT BECAUSE PROCRASTINATION YES.

    1. I’m rather fond of it as a wings cover too even though it kinda looks like her wings are coming out of her arms.

    2. Actually jumped a little and thought “FUCK.”

    7. You’ll only have half a hand left after you try grabbing one of those weapons. The other half gets burned off.

    11. I’d be thinking “how sexy does this cloak make my shadow look?” Fun fact: When I went to the YMCA summer day care and we were going to the pool, I’d take my towel and hold it up around me in such a way that my shadow looked like it had a ball gown on. Then I’d prance around and everyone would wonder what the fuck was wrong with me.

    17. I love this cover solely for her hair.

    1. THAT STAIRWAY. WIN WIN WIN. I looooooooooooove spiral staircases and am still bitter my parents weren’t able to move our little family into a house with a badass spiral staircase. (In hindsight, it would have prevented my brother’s back problems too. No jumping down THOSE stairs.)

  2. Gillian says:

    12. BAHAHAHAHA “Let it go, let it go, don’t hold it in anymoooore, let it goooo, let it goooo, open up and pee some mooooore”

    I regret this already

    14. This is so fucking adorable.

    15. also BEAUTIFUL. I feel like it needs one more image or detail to be complete, but that is so gorgeous fontitude.

    16. AHHHHHHHHHHHH

    CB1. Both are so gorgeousiful but that US ONE IS JUST…. *drools*

    WTF2. OH DEAR NORTH WEST

    WTF3. THE BEAR AND I SHARE AN EXPRESSION.
    Gillian recently posted…Review: Frostbite by Richelle MeadMy Profile

  3. MJ says:

    1) Is she a firebird. Honestly, I do like fire on a cover because it does give the book a nice special effect.

    2) Interesting art. Not very Cinderella-ish though.

    4) Who knew earbuds were the secret to contacting the dead. Must contact the Ghost Adventures crew.

    6) Boooring.

    8) Please, let this book involve gender bending. Please.

    9) Robin Hood, yum. Though he sort of reminds me of the guy from Arrow. But Green Arrow has always reminded me of Robin Hood so…

    10) It looks sappy. Like someone gets an incurable disease or something Nicholas Spark-y.

    11) The cape adds drama.

    16) A Pinocchio retelling perhaps? Looks deranged enough.
    MJ recently posted…Gender and YA TropesMy Profile

  4. 1. Yes. Not the worst wings I’ve ever seen.
    2. I thought so too, but it looks like she is wearing a glass slipper.
    9. It also reminds me of the TV show. And that’s no bad-looking Robin Hood as far as I can tell.
    11. That doesn’t match my editions..
    14. Adorable. I voted for this one in the poll. (And how sad that people are upvoting covers..)

    WTF3. Haha. The bear ‘guuuurrrrl’
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 285. Amy Zhang – Falling into place.My Profile

  5. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. Photoshop in real life EXISTS.
    2. I have the Alice in Wonderland by this gal, and I have to admit I like it.
    7. Dude. Looks like VIKINGS.
    16. I….almost liked this one. Almost.

    Skipping the pole because…..I just didn’t care for any this week. 🙁
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Stacking the Shelves #99My Profile

  6. 1. In the category of “little details that matter,” I like that they warmed up the skin on her back and arms to make it reflect the glow of the wings. That was well-thought.

    11. I think they may be referring to her eye shadow. The makeup is strong with this one. (Honestly, I’m kinda digging it.)
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Meet The Newest Member Of The FamilyMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge