Cover Snark (115): The One with the Unexpected Something

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Betrayed (Altered #1.5) – Jennifer Rush
Betrayed - Jennifer Rush
Thoughts: He has been betrayed by his shirt. No matter how he tries to button it, they always pop back open. Oh, what a curse.

2. The Remedy (The Program #0.5) – Suzanne Young
The Remedy - Suzanne Young
Thoughts: That girl is terrifying. If you stare into her eyes for too long, you die. The only remedy to her eye poison is inside the book. What a clever marketing strategy!

3. The Rise and Fall of a Theater Geek – Seth Rudetsky
The Rise and Fall of a Theater Geek - Seth Rudetsky
Thoughts: Those fonts are super not working for me, nor is the sort of sickly green color, but the illustrations are nice. Maybe the font has gone a bridge too far?

4. Cold Burn of Magic (Black Blade #1) – Jennifer Estep
Cold Burn of Magic (Black Blades #1) - Jennifer Estep
Thoughts: You know what cover trend I hate? The whole silhouette thing. Otherwise I like this, but they never look like a REAL silhouetted person and argh.

5. Chaos (Guards of the Shadowlands #3) – Sarah Fine
Chaos - Sarah Fine
Thoughts: This would be pretty creepy cool if it were just the skull throne, but with the shinies and the fonts and the girl in the sky, nooooope.

6. Kissing Ted Callahan (And Other Guys) – Amy Spalding
Kissing Ted Callahan (And Other Guys) - Amy Spalding
Thoughts: I love this title a lot. The cover somehow doesn’t charm me, though I feel like I should love it. Maybe the white background?

7. Vampire in Paradise (Deadly Angels #5) – Sandra Hill
Vampire in Paradise (Deadly Angels #5) - Sandra Hill
Thoughts: WHAT ARE THOSE WINGS? AND THAT HAIR? THIS IS NOT MY PARADISE.

8. Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls – Lynn Weingarten
Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls - Lynn Weingarten
Thoughts: It must be really challenging to fit the notes on matchsticks.

9. A List of Things That Didn’t Kill Me – Jason Schmidt
A List of Things That Didn't Kill Me - Jason Schmidt
Thoughts: A List of Things That I Don’t Hate About This Cover: the word wave, the font, the little guy taking a giant step off, and the color scheme.

10. Be Not Afraid – Cecilia Galante
Be Not Afraid - Cecilia Galante
Thoughts: I’m not really afraid, but I am displeased.

11. Even When You Lie to Me – Jessica Alcott
Even When You Lie to Me - Jessica Alcott
Thoughts: Um, even when you lie to me, your nose is still tiny. Also, you’re surprisingly good at using it to write on blackboards.

12. The Eterna Files – Leanna Renee Hieber
The Eterna Files by Leanna Renee Hieber
Thoughts: Oooh, aside from the hat and the bird not quite looking like they’re actually on that chair, I love this. Particularly the texture on the wall.

13. How to Start a Fire – Lisa Lutz
How to Start a Fire - Lisa Lutz
Thoughts: This designer is on FIRE.

14. X – Ilyasah Shabazz & Kekla Magoon
X – Ilyasah Shabazz & Kekla Magoon
Thoughts: So many red, black and white covers this week. Most Xcellent.

15. Trust Me, I’m a Ninja (Relax, I’m a Ninja #2) – Natalie Whipple
Trust Me, I'm a Ninja - Natalie Whipple
Thoughts: Dear ninja, you’ve lost your face. Just fyi.

16. The Mechanical (The Alchemy Wars #1) – Ian Tregillis
The Mechanical - Ian Tregillis
Thoughts: That gear looks painful.

17. Mechanica – Betsy Cornwell
Mechanica - Betsy Cornwell
Thoughts: DAT FONT. DOSE COLORS. DAT BRIDGE. *collapses onto fainting couch*

Cover Battles:

1. Let It Snow : Three Holiday Stories – John Green, Lauren Myracle, Maureen Johnson

Let It Snow  Three Holiday Stories - John Green, Lauren Myracle, Maureen Johnson original
let it snow redesign 1
let it snow redesign 2
Let It Snow  Three Holiday Stories - John Green, Lauren Myracle, Maureen Johnson

Original US Cover (2008) vs. US (2009) vs. US (2012) vs. US (2014): Nicely modernized and I like that it’s going for a completely different look. I’m not totally in love with any of them, but I guess I’d go for the 2012 redesign.

2. The Mime Order (The Bone Season #2) – Samantha Shannon

The Mime Order - Samantha Shannon
The Mime Order (The Bone Season #2) - Samantha Shannon

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Mostly I don’t care about this change, but I did like the more textured look of the first version. I also think I prefer the white title text.

3. Apocalypse Now Now – Charlie Human

Apocalypse Now Now - Charlie Human UK
Apocalypse Now Now - Charlie Human

UK vs. South African: Now this is creepy, like an alternate universe, evil, red-glasses-wearing Harry Potter. The UK cover is even more upsetting.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Buried in Angst – David J. Pedersen
Buried in Angst - David J. Pedersen
Thoughts: The artwork, the font. So singular.

2. Potatoes – Stewart Hotston, ed.
Potatoes - Stewart Hotston, ed.
Thoughts: Spuds for brains.

3. Unexpected (Unexpected #1) – Amy Marie
Unexpected (Unexpected #1) - Amy Marie
Thoughts: Whatever that is certainly was unexpected.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Mechanica

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

Today, Gillian (Writer of Wrongs) has some feels about all the pretties:

“I agonized over this week’s choice, because OMG SO MANY PRETTY COVERS THIS WEEK. The Eterna Files? X? SO GORGEOUS. For Cover of the Week, it was between whimsical, fantastical, detailed Mechanica and the magnificently streamlined, graphic How to Start a Fire covers. Utimately, I’ve got to go with Mechanica for sheer magic factor, because even though How to Start a Fire is a maserpiece of graphic design, Mechanica made me gasp out loud. I WANT TO GO TO THERE.”

To learn more or purchase:Goodreads|Amazon|B&N

Choose Your Favorite

This week, I’m trying out a new idea: letting you guys vote for your favorite covers. Depending on the response, this will either be a one off or a thing (number of covers permitting), so let me know your thoughts!

15 responses to “Cover Snark (115): The One with the Unexpected Something”

  1. Pamela says:

    I’m actually most puzzled by the use of the ellipsis in the cover blurb for Vampire in Paradise. I mistrust ellipses in quotes because they mean you could have said anything in between there. Like, it could actually have been, “an awesome idea, but I really hate this series.”

    Also, I think “Potatoes” is just one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. There are no words.

    • Christina Franke says:

      Yeahhhh, not a good idea to put ellipses in a blurb, especially in such a key location. I’ve got to assume you’re right about the actual quote. :-p

  2. 2. Scary.
    4. She has a strange position and it looks like she misses one arm.
    7. HAHAHA.
    17. *Grabby hands* Definitely my favorite cover!

    Battles:
    1. I like the idea from the original cover, but I don’t care about the font from the authors names. So I would pick the 2012 version.
    2. I like the dark moth on the new design, but I prefer the old cover.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 280. Kristin Cashore – Fire.My Profile

  3. Felicia says:

    LOVE your blog! Found it on Goodreads. Can’t wait to read more (:
    – Felicia ( http://asillygirlsthoughts.weebly.com )

  4. 2. I was just thinking how scary she was. *crosses self*

    3. Woah, blurbed by Tina Fey.

    8. This cover is surprisingly mesmerizing.

    17. WELL. WELL! We have a winner!
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Cover Love #67My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      3. I KNOW. That’s intense. Also, intriguing.

      8. Yeah, I actually like it too, minus the boring font for the author’s name.

      17. This one’s definitely been the big winner this week.

  5. Anya says:

    Just felt the need to say that I like the final poll and vote for continuing to have it, possibly with snarky opinions included? 😉
    Anya recently posted…Awesome Adult Sci-fi Giveaway! {US/CAN}My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      The poll’s already really long, so I’m not sure if snarky things are a good idea. I’ll have to try it out.

  6. Lyn Kaye says:

    2. Angry girl is angry….
    14. That cover looks amazing!!
    17. Want….want want want want want!!!
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Dangerous Boys Release Day BlitzMy Profile

  7. Gillian says:

    i know i already read this when i picked the CotW but whatevers here go my thoughtssss

    1. hello rippling pectorals

    2. kill her with fire

    5. AGREE skull thrones are BOMB ASSSS but that girl is no

    6. AND OTHER GUYS. I love that.

    7. “An awesome…series!” HAHAHA also omk his hair is revolting

    12. Luuuurve even though the hat and bird don’t quite look like they’re truly on the chair, like you said

    13. LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.

    14. I’m not as enamored with the graphic red, white, and black stuff as you are but this is FABULOUS.

    15. Fucking Dementor ninja

    17. Covergasm

    CB3. NIGHTMARESSSSS

    WTF2. Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a skull.

    WTF3. CRAUGHING OMFK WHAT BODY PART IS SHE HOLDING THAT AGAINST WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING oh it’s her thumbs omk i am so relieved that was a horrifying fifteen seconds

    i have to say i agree with that lovely girl who picked the Cover of the Week she has astounding taste
    Gillian recently posted…When Authors Are WizardsMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Your thoughts are always welcome obviously. (except when i’ve accidentally left just snark)

      1.”hello, gillian” – the pectorals.

      2. WILL DO.

      5. The girl is just ass. HAHAHA. not HER but the use of a girl’s photo on the cover. Anyway.

      7. Wash your damn hair, ya hoodlum!

      14. HOW COULD YOU NOT BE ENAMORED? (I don’t even know why I’m enamored tbh, but I AM.)

      15. Ninjator! Deminja?

      WTF2: WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT?

      WTF3: EXACTLY MY THOUGHT PROCESS.

  8. Juhina says:

    did not know about the remedy!! WOW i love that cover!

    – Juhina @ Maji Bookshelf
    Juhina recently posted…Review: Dangerous Boys by Abigail Haas – Creepily MemorableMy Profile

  9. P.E. @ The Sirenic Codex says:

    2. Ooh I like it! Love the font.

    5. I wish this series received better covers. I really liked Sanctum. *sigh*

    6. I actually like this one! I feel like it will be a very nice hardcover.

    9. Ooh very cool! Love the little guy too!

    13. I love that fire. Doesn’t tell me much about the book, but it’s so clean.

    14. I love red black and white so I’m not complaining! :p

    17. Ooh pretty & whimsical!

    I ended up voting for X as my favourite. It’s dark but quirky, if that makes sense…

    As always, awesome feature!
    P.E. @ The Sirenic Codex recently posted…Review: Prisoner of Night and FogMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      5. I’ve heard the books are great. This cover is super unfortunate though.

      6. The white background covers do tend to look a bit better in person. Maybe it will even be shiny!

      9. So cute!

      14. Yessss, best color scheme for covers.

      Dark and quirky does make sense. 🙂

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