Cover Snark (114): The One with the Baby Hatred

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Earth & Sky (Earth & Sky #1) – Megan Crewe
Earth and Sky - Megan Crewe
Thoughts: Huh. I cannot decide how I feel about this. Individually, I rather like the elements, but combined I’m finding them somewhat off-putting. The author name location makes her sort of like a little crewe team rowing across the water, which is fun.

2. Cinder & Ella – Kelly Oram
Cinder & Ella - Kelly Oram
Thoughts: Apparently they are the sort of people who make themselves their phone background. Which, no. Also, I choose to believe that it’s HIS glass slipper, because that would be better.

3. Me Being Me Is Exactly as Insane as You Being You by Todd Hasak-Lowy
Me Being Me Is Exactly as Insane as You Being You by Todd Hasak-Lowy
Thoughts: Well, that title’s going to be a bitch to remember/type.

4. Date with a Rockstar – Sarah Gagnon
Date with a Rockstar - Sarah Gagnon
Thoughts: Hey girl, I’m going to need you to carry my amp and then we’re going to hang out with some dirt. How’s that for a date?

5. The Ice Dragon – George R. R. Martin & Luis Royo
The Ice Dragon -George R. R. Martin & Luis Royo
Thoughts: Dragon’s generally look awesome, but icy ones are especially cool.

6. Night Sky (Night Sky #1) – Suzanne & Melanie Brockmann
Night Sky (Night Sky #1) - Suzanne & Melanie Brockmann
Thoughts: I like how the cast is arranged like cards fanned out in my hand. And by like, I mean I’m laughing at it.

7. The Body Electric – Beth Revis
The Body Electric - Beth Revis
Thoughts: If bugs ever flew out of my head, my body might be electric too, as I tried to kill the infestation with electrocution.

8. Miles from Kara (Charleston Haven #2) – Melissa West
Miles from Kara - Melissa West
Thoughts: This is accurate. I sadly live many miles from Kara (Great Imaginations). Curse you, geography!

9. Cherish (Covet #1.5) – Tracey Garvis-Graves
Cherish (Covet #1.5) - Tracey Garvis-Graves
Thoughts: Dear cover, I will be kind to you if you will give me that dress. kthxbai.

10. In the Rearview – Maria Ann Green
In the Rearview - Maria Ann Green
Thoughts: STOP PUTTING DIS BITCH ON COVERS.

11. Dead Spots – Rhiannon Frater
Dead Spots - Rhiannon Frater
Thoughts: If that’s a dead spot, then she must be a zombie, because standing. If I were that zombie, I’d go have a nice ride on that roller coaster, because hey treat yourself coming back from the dead is hard. Update: Apparently this is not the final cover, but the internet found it. Ah well. We can all judge this and wait on tenterhooks for the final!

12. Trylle: The Complete Trilogy – Amanda Hocking
Trylle The Complete Trilogy - Amanda Hocking
Thoughts: I am not trylled.

13. Stone in the Sky (Tin Star #2) – Cecil Castellucci
Stone in the Sky (Tin Star #2) - Cecil Castellucci
Thoughts: THEY REBUILT THE DEATH STAR.

14. The Walls around Us – Nova Ren Suma
The Walls around Us - Nova Ren Suma
Thoughts: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

15. Duplicity – N.K. Traver
Duplicity - N.K. Traver
Thoughts: I wonder if his mirror face sasses him back like Mary Poppins’ does.

16. Beastkeeper – Cat Hellisen
Beastkeeper - Cat Hellisen
Thoughts: ILLUSTRATION SQUEE.

17. Shadow Falls: The Next Chapter – C.C. Hunter
Shadow Falls The Next Chapter
Thoughts: Water falls too.

18. Happenstance 2 – Jamie McGuire
Happenstance 2 - Jamie McGuire
Thoughts: Time to take bets on whether a vagina gets referred to as a dewy flower or lady garden in this series.

19. Fly – T. A. Foster
Fly - T. A. Foster
Thoughts: Accurate cover is accurate. That is indeed where the fly of his pants is located.

20. Kissing Frogs – Alisha Sevigny
Kissing Frogs - Alisha Sevigny
Thoughts: When she kissed them, did they turn into shoes?

21. Better When He’s Bold – Jay Crownover
Better When He's Bold - Jay Crownover
Thoughts: Better when he gets a different haircut.

22. Fortune Cookie (The Chocolate Box Girls # ) – Cathy Cassidy
Fortune Cookie (The Chocolate Box Girls #6) - Cathy Cassidy
Thoughts: I AM HUNGRY NOW. Even though these don’t look especially delicious. Whatever, hunger beast don’t care.

23. Rise and Fall (Spirit Animals #6) – Eliot Schrefer
Rise and Fall (Spirit Animals #6) - Eliot Schrefer
Thoughts: Featuring special guest star Aslan!

Cover Battles:

1. Made for You – Melissa Marr

Made for You Melissa Marr US
Made for You - Melissa Marr

US vs. UK: I swear I’ve seen this stock photo on another cover. Plus, YOU GO WITH THE GUY WHO WANTS TO KISS YOU. WHAT EVEN, TAGLINE.

2. Gone Girl – Gillian Flynn

Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn Original
Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn

US Original vs. Movie Tie-in: While I’m not a big fan of the original, I HATE this move tie-in. I mean, it’s a dude walking, even though the cover references a female, and there are eyes in the clouds. NOPE.

3. Unmarked (The Legion #1) – Kami Garcia

Unmarked (The Legion #2) - Kami Garcia
Unmarked (Legion #1) - Kami Garcia

US vs. UK: The UK cover sort of looks like a placeholder, but at least it doesn’t have a giant U on it.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Purr-fect Mating – Sheryl Winters
Purr-fect Mating - Sheryl Winters
Thoughts: Run, animals. RUN!

2. Good Wood (Carved Hearts #1) – L.G. Pace III & Michelle Pace
Good Wood - L.G. Pace III & Michelle Pace
Thoughts: They ain’t talking about trees, yo.

3. Baby Hater – C.V. Hunt
Baby Hater - C.V. Hunt
Thoughts: I approve, grandma. I approve.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Beastkeeper

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

Beastkeeper - Cat Hellisen

Today, welcome my dear ugy Ellis (The Random Transliterator/Finding Bliss in Books), up late and visiting the US from her home country of Belgium. May the waffle have a good time and find many awesome books. Here’s her sugar high-driven pick of the week:

“For a good five minutes I wanted to go with Baby Hater, because what up badass – and probably sexually active – grandma, you are my life goal, but I really, really love Beastkeeper by Cat Hellison and I felt like that cover should be highlighted, too. The backdrop is like an illustrated sun flare, which uugh why are people so talented and also why are these people not me, and I adore how you just keep discovering animals between the trees. Obviously the girl and the deer are going to be instant besties when the doe – I have decided it’s female-normative – saves her from the wolf (?). Actually, they save each other because those friendships are the best friendships. Anyway, they’ll have many fabulous adventures together, some of which involving a tower, it seems, and they’ll look absolutely gorgeously illustrated while adventuring. This cover is so pretty I want to frame it and take it everywhere with me.”

To learn more or purchase:Goodreads|Amazon|TBD|B&N

11 responses to “Cover Snark (114): The One with the Baby Hatred”

  1. Nafiza says:

    So the last one made me choke on air and that takes doing because wow. Still, go granny!
    Nafiza recently posted…The Reading ForecastMy Profile

  2. What is with covers lately? They seem a bit boring!

    I only liked The Walls Around Us this week.

    LOL at the Baby Hater cover, woah!!
    Rachelia (Bookish Comforts) recently posted…{Review} Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour BookstoreMy Profile

  3. Isabel says:

    I found a bunch more books to read thanks to all the new covers!
    Isabel recently posted…Blogoversary Day Seven: Guest Post With Aimee L. SalterMy Profile

  4. Gillian says:

    1. A wee bit literal, no? HERE IS EARTH. HERE IS SKY.

    5. ICE FUCKING DRAGON

    7. Why bugs whyyyyyy I quite like this otherwise but whyyyy

    10. DIS BIDGE DIS BIDGE DIS BIDGE DIS FUCKING BIDGE

    12. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    14. pretty pretty pretty pretty prettyyyyy

    18. enough with the fucking flowerssss literallyyyyy no more flowers related to fucking

    19. HAAAAA THOUGHT THE SAME THING BUT NOW CANNOT COME UP WITH A GOOD “FLY IS UNZIPPED” JOKE

    21. I WAS JUST GOING TO COMMENT ON HIS TRAGIC NINETIES HAIR OMK

    CB1. Were these… Hocking covers? Possibly? SOmething like that?

    CB3. The UK font is cool, but what the fuck are those buildings

    WTF1. OH DEAR KANYE SAVE US

    WTF2. She looks sooooo smug about her good wood.

    WTF3. I have no words.

    Oooo, very approve, Ellis, good choice. I would have chosen the Nova Ren Suma cover BUT THIS IS A VAIR CLOSE SECOND
    Gillian recently posted…Literary PSA: The Mediator series by Meg CabotMy Profile

  5. 11. I’m happy to say this is NOT the official Dead Spots cover. It’s a placeholder. The final cover is still being worked on. Which is good, because I LOATHE this cover with all my heart. As soon as I have the official FINAL cover, I’ll send it to you for Snarkage.

    Every time I look at this cover I think “WHY IS THERE A DRUNK GIRL on the beach?”

    Also…this isn’t a zombie book.

    *sigh*
    Rhiannon Frater recently posted…Houston Con Appearance This Weekend!My Profile

  6. Heather says:

    1. I can’t decide how I feel about this one either. I think I like it? The colors are great.

    7. I kind of love this. It’s so green!

    14. So pretty!

    16. LOVE!

    20. I want those shoes!

    CB1. I feel like the cover on the left is your worst nightmare come true. Could you imagine if someone handed you a box with a bug in it? Can I watch if this ever happens? Can I also take pictures? Why am I so mean? These are the questions that will perplex us until the end of time. lol

    WTF3. BAHAHAHA thank you for that!

  7. Meg says:

    PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING PURR-FECT MATING

    I’m at the point in my day/mental state where I found this incredibly hilarious and worth repeating a lot.

    EXCELLENT SELECTION ELLIS
    Meg recently posted…Isla Is Coming: Lola and the Boy Next Door Readalong Kick-offMy Profile

  8. 1. I think I would have liked this more if the city wasn’t on the cover. The black is a bit harsh.
    3. I think I would just refer to it as ‘Me being me’
    5. I also like that kick-ass looking girl on his back. She is just sitting there ‘no big deal, I’m only on the back of an ice dragon.’
    7. I do like silhouettes on covers, but this is just not it.
    9. I would like to have that dress too.
    10. SHE IS EVERYWHERE.
    14. Nice 😀
    16. Yes, I LOVE this one. I would hang this on my wall.

    3. Baby hater, hahaha. So now what. This grandma flies into rooms from babies and beats them?
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Fairytale News 40. Do you comment on older posts?My Profile

  9. Lyn Kaye says:

    2. Ew.

    16. Best so far…

    Very weak week. (NOT FOR YOU, for covers!)
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Book Review: Rain ReignMy Profile

  10. Kayla Beck says:

    20. I would kiss a frog for those shoes. Where do I sign up?
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Review: Dangerous Calling by A.J. LarrieuMy Profile

  11. 1. I can’t figure it out either. Like you said, individually, it’s all nice. I like the whirls and the water and the planet, etc. But together it’s too… too glossy? Too cheap? I can’t decide.

    3. Well this is incredibly boring.

    5. I hate that his name is bigger than the title. It’s too crowded! But the dragon is cool. (Haha!)

    16. It’s like I SPY! How many animals can you spot in the trees?!

    20. Frogs for shoes? That’s a fair trade.

    23. Aslan and… Eustace Scrubb?
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Cover Love #67My Profile

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