Cover Snark (107): The One That Belongs to Fireman

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Ignite (Defy #2) – Sara B. Larson
Ignite (Defy #2) - Sara B. Larson
Thoughts: The way this series is ripping off Kristin Cashore’s covers is incredibly subtle.

2. The Insects of Love – Genevieve Valentine
The Insects of Love - Genevieve Valentine
Thoughts: Love should not involve insects. Ever. I deny the existence of love bugs.

3. This Sky – Autumn Doughton
This Sky - Autumn Doughton
Thoughts: Lucy in the sky with trees in her hair.

4. Midnight Ballerina – C.A. Williams
Midnight Ballerina - C.A. Williams
Thoughts: By night she’s a prima ballerina; by day she has no sense of rhythm or balance.

5. Going Down in Flames – Chris Cannon
Going Down in Flames - Chris Cannon
Thoughts: She doesn’t suffer silently. Or alone.

6. Still Point (Awaken #3) – Katie Kacvinsky
Still Point - Katie Kacvinsky
Thoughts: Yup, that hand is still pointing. I may daisy off any moment, because this cover bores me.

7. Most Likely to Succeed (Superlatives #3) – Jennifer Echols
Most Likely to Succeed (Superlatives #3) - Jennifer Echols
Thoughts: She has sweet style. I can’t figure out if he’s photobombing or if he just thought that was a cool pose.

8. What’s Left of Us – Amanda Maxlyn
What's Left of Us - Amanda Maxlyn
Thoughts: That random collection of words down the left side of the cover bothers me. Nouns and adjectives all in a row of illogic.

9. Dangerous Boys – Abigail Haas
Dangerous Boys - Abigail Haas
Thoughts: Baby, you’re a firework.

10. Sugar Rush (Friend-Zoned #3) – Belle Aurora
Sugar Rush (Friend-Zoned #3) - Belle Aurora
Thoughts: Mmmm, cupcake. Gillian (Writer of Wrongs) should bake me this.

11. Cover Me – Carrie Elliott
Cover Me - Carrie Elliott
Thoughts: *throws blanket over model*

12. Run – Eve Vaughn
Run - Eve Vaughn
Thoughts: She may have to cut off her hand to run away, but that may be worth it.

13. Heroes Are My Weakness – Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Heroes Are My Weakness by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Thoughts: That’s a better weakness to have than heroin.

14. Kin (Tales of Beauty & Madness #3) – Lili St. Crow
Kin - Lili St. Crow
Thoughts: Add that cloak to my shopping cart. Also, look at the adorably vicious wolfy!

15. In a World Just Right – Jen Brooks
In a World Just Right - Jen Brooks
Thoughts: In the bottom one, he is so obviously smelling her hair. Creeeeepy. Also, don’t think I like the way the title is sometimes behind the people and sometimes not.

16. The Five Stages of Andrew Brawley – Shaun David Hutchinson
The Five Stages of Andrew Brawley
Thoughts: Haaaa, his hood wants us to know that this book is a novel.

17. Flight from Hell – Yasmine Galenorn
Flight from Hell by Yasmine Galenorn
Thoughts: I dread what they’ll come up with next. See what I did there?

18. The Lightwood Legacy – Kassandra Kush
The Lightwood Legacy - Kassandra Kush
Thoughts: Someone’s aiming for the money of shadowhunter fans, no? Even the name totally sounds like a Cassandra Clare pen name.

19. Uprooted – Naomi Novik
Uprooted by Naomi Novik
Thoughts: Not my favorite art style but I’m fairy telling you that three headed dragon is adorbs.

20. The Path of Anger (The Book and the Sword #2) – Antoine Rouaud
The Path of Anger - Antoine Rouad
Thoughts: Being stabbed does tend to put me on the path of anger, it’s true.

21. The Shadow Cabinet (Shades of London #3) – Maureen Johnson
The Shadow Cabinet (Shades of London #3) - Maureen Johnson
Thoughts: I like the font, but otherwise I’m bored, even though blue covers are my favorites. *feels blue*

22. The Bargaining – Carly Anne West
The Bargaining by Carly Anne West
Thoughts: Dude, how did the North Woods get my number?

23. Remember – Eileen Cook
Remember - Eileen Cook
Thoughts: If their goal was to make me think of this girl as Mufasa, then they succeeded. YOU SAID YOU’D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME!

24. Day 21 (The 100 #2) – Kass Morgan
Day 21 (The 100 #2) - Kass Morgan
Thoughts: I wonder if the ground will be friends with them…SPLAT.

25. One of the Guys – Lisa Aldin
One of the Guys - Lisa Aldin
Thoughts: Never let the guys make you wear pants. FUCK PANTS!

26. Crouching Tiger, Forbidden Vampire (Love at Stake #16) – Kerrelyn Sparks
Crouching Tiger, Forbidden Vampire (Love at Stake #16) -Kerrelyn Sparks
Thoughts: *wipes tears* This is hilarious, but potentially rage-inducing if there are no Asian people in it.

27. Sleep of Death (Sleep No More #2) – Aprilynne Pike
Sleep of Death - Aprilynne Pike
Thoughts: Oh, is Misery going to hang out with this cover?

28. Heart & Soul (The Minstrel Series #3) – Lee Strauss
Heart & Soul - Lee Strauss
Thoughts: That moment when you notice the background.

29. A Beauty So Beastly (The Beastly Series #1) – RaShelle Workman
A Beauty So Beastly - RaShelle Workman
Thoughts: Ugh to the badly photoshopped eyes, but yes to the dress.

30. Red Butterfly – A. L. Sonnichsen
Red Butterfly - A. L. Sonnichsen
Thoughts: Not really a fan of this art style personally.

31. The Honest Truth – Dan Gemeinhart
The Honest Truth - Dan Gemeinhart
Thoughts: I am like super concerned that this boy and his dog are being separated by this divide. Also, this is gorgeousssss.

32. Foxglove Summer (Peter Grant #5) – Ben Aaronovitch
Foxglove Summer - Ben Aaronovitch
Thoughts: I feel like I would enjoy this much more if it weren’t a sickly shade of green/yellow mixed with red.

33. The Horde Without End (The World Without End #2) – Nazarea Andrews
The Horde Without End - Nazarea Andrews
Thoughts: But I can see the end. It’s right THERE. I mean, still a lot of zombies, but.

Cover Battles:

1. The Fallen (The Enemy #5) – Charlie Higson

The Fallen (The Enemy #5) - Charlie Higson UK
The Fallen (The Enemy #5) - Charlie Higson

UK vs. US: Speaking of The fallen, I’m wondering where the overpass went. It’s broken, but it didn’t fall to the ground? Did someone steal it? The fuck? That said, I do prefer the US design, as I expect hyenas to pop out of the eyes of that skull.

2. The Violent Century – Lavie Tidhar

The Violent Century - Lavie Tidhar
The Violent Century - Lavie Tidhar

UK vs. US: Watchmen on crack? Wuuuuut. The cover’s not as good as the UK one but that blurb man.

3. Sway – Kat Spears

Sway - Kat Spears
Sway - Kat Spears

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Love the cover art, except maybe the sun. However, sources tell me this is not a fluffy book, so this cover is lying to me. Though I guess the original was too.

4. Damaged – Amy Reed

Style: "Porcelain vivid"
Damaged - Amy Reed

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Interesting that they swapped out the guy for a girl. Wonder whyyyy.

5. Broken Monsters – Lauren Beukes

Broken Monsters - Lauren Beukes US
Broken Monsters - Lauren Beukes UK
Broken Monsters - Lauren Beukes South African

US vs. UK vs. South African: Holy shit. That is so creepy, but incredibly gorgeous. Bow down, other countries. You cannot win this battle. Or can you? You decide, peoples.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Worth – Shay Savage
Worth - Shay Savage
Thoughts: If that is how much they paid for this cover, they got ripped off.

2. The Night Belongs to Fireman (The Bachelor Firemen of San Gabriel #6) – Jennifer Bernard
The Night Belongs to Fireman (The Bachelor Firemen of San Gabriel #6) - Jennifer Bernard
Thoughts: Is Fireman actually his name?

3. Guarded – Kim Fielding
Guarded - Kim Fielding
Thoughts: It’s obvious what he’s guarding.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Uprooted

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

Today, welcome Emma (Awkwordly Emma):

“First off, thanks so much for letting me choose! Second, I’m going with Uprooted by Naomi Novik because I love the art style. The girl and the rose have peaked my curiosity, and the dragon, book, and others gathered around the center image flow nicely. Although I do have to say that the tree is a bit cliche.”

To learn more or purchase:Goodreads|Amazon|TBD

19 responses to “Cover Snark (107): The One That Belongs to Fireman”

  1. Lesley says:

    Dangerous Boys? First instinct was how on earth can there be a sequel to Dangerous Girls, but looking at goodreads I don’t think it is a sequel. It’s a completely unrelated book by the same author with a related title. Which does not work for me.

    I’ll still buy it, but I’m not happy about it.
    Lesley recently posted…TEASEMy Profile

  2. Omg A Beauty so Beastly is so gorgeous, minus the eyes, they are shocking! It sounds amazing and it’s on my to-be-read all but now!
    Amanda @ Book Badger recently posted…Book Review – GracelingMy Profile

  3. 1. It’s indeed subtle, but the worst thing is that it’s working for me..
    7. I like this girl, she has such a warm, friendly smile.
    12. I believe she even has to cut of both hands :p. If you look at her pinkie, you can see that her hands are tied together.
    14. Love it! It’s the prettiest cover from the series.
    18. Yes, first thing I thought was ‘Cassandra Clare’?
    19. This is my type of cover <3
    29. I like what they were trying to achieve with this cover. And it's my favorite fairy tale, so I can't resist *adds*
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 265. Lisa Ann O’Kane – Essence.My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. It’s not working for me, mostly because of the hot pink font and the reviews of book one. I do love the arrow though.

      7. She’s soooo pretty.

      12. Oooh, snap. That’s going to be rough.

      14. I think I missed the second one, but I love this, so it’s got to be the best one.

  4. 2. Lorde, is that you?
    7. They are both rather attractive people.
    9. Someone’s been borrowing ideas from Tess Sharpe’s book, Far From You!
    23. Must we talk about Mufasa? *sobs* AND THAT QUOTE. *sobs some more*
    31. It’s like when the dinosaurs are separated in The Land Before Time. Painful times for everybody.

    CB1. I prefer the US one, mostly because it reminds me of The Walking Dead.
    CB2. BOTH BUT I WANT TO READ THIS BOOK NOW. Rinn @ Rinn Reads sent me her copy, and I can’t wait to start it **___**
    CB5. South African FTW! YES.
    Amber @ Books of Amber recently posted…Books in Motion: The Book ThiefMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      7. Indeed they are. And very stylish.

      9. Or from C. Desir’s!

      23. You are welcome for a dose of Disney feels.

      31. OMFG I WAS SO CLOSE TO MAKING THAT REFERENCE.

      CB1. The redesigns are VERY Walking Dead. Though I think they’ve actually redesigned the UK to this style too. It was a bitch to figure out what was going on which is why I just did this one in the series. Anyway, this cover style is on Amazon UK too, so you can has also.

      CB2. Oooh, I want to hear about this. The covers for it are all cool and I think it might be a Christina book.

  5. Gillian says:

    1. Ripping them off and turning them into cherubic valentines. BLEGH.

    2. This is sooooo gorgeous, though, despite insects.

    5. SHE’S GOIN’ DOWWWWWWWWN IN A BLAZE OF GLO– wait, are those SCALES???

    7. This is a really cute series of covers. It’s too bad the beginning of the first book make me want to spork out my eyeballs.

    9. Looooove, and it will kinda match my UK cover of Dangerous Girls, which YES.

    10. ON MY WAY TO BAKE YOU CUPCAKES

    15. I kind of quite like this.

    17. It’s the Dread Pirate Turtleneck!

    18. Pretty sure Lightwood actually IS a Clareverse name, so that’s another layer or ripoffyness. But I think this cover is kinda pretty.

    19. I ALLLLMOST really like this. I like evrything but the girl’s face and hands, but ILLUSTRATED COVER FAIRY TALE YAYYY

    20. BAD FUCKING ASS HOLY CRAP I LOVE IT

    24. Ooo, looks like they’re making the covers tie-in with the series, which is vair smart.

    26. CROUCHING TIGER, FORBIDDEN VAMPIRE OH DEAR GOTT IN HIMMEL THANK YOU FOR THIS BOUNTY

    29. She looks like a VampMeyer with those eyes and my GOD are those tendrils poorly done, but Imma steal her dress.

    CB1. Oooh, I vastly prefer the skull, though now I can’ help but picture Shenzi and co. crawling out of it.

    CB2. THAT BLURB OMG.

    CB3. Love the silhouettes, hate the sun, don’t much love the fontage.

    WTF2. FABULOUS. TREMENDOUS. FIREMAN SO PLEASED. FIREMAN THANKS YOU.

    WTF3. OH DEAR GOD
    Gillian recently posted…Beach Blanket Book-GoMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. It is rather like a cherubic valentine. And I only just noticed the flower in the background. *brb barfing*

      2. Tor’s art is amazingggggg.

      5. Yeah, I think she might be a dragon. That’s my best guess.

      7. He may be putting you to pirate. That way to pirate.

      10. YISSSSSS.

      15. It really fits the book blurb. I don’t really like it, but it’s appropriate.

      17. Feared across the nine kingdoms.

      18. Yes, yes, it is. *pats*

      19. This cover kind of looks like the old school fairy tale retelling covers for McKinley in style, right?

      20. I did not anticipate this.

      26. Bringing you all the pop culture references every week.

      29. The cover’s like almost awesome, but the more you look, the more you’re like hmmmmm. She looks like Piper Perabo.

      CB1. Now with bonus hyenas.

      WTF2: My brain keeps trying to make this title make sense and it just so much does not. The night belongs to THE fireman. The night belongs to FIREMEN. But this = wut.

  6. 3 – I’m a sucker for rainbow gradients, and the synopsis doesn’t sound so bad. Adding to my to-read shelf so I don’t forget about it 😀

    33 – I was too busy staring at the scruff to notice the zombies. And the tattoo… Maybe Four switched series??

    I really love the second take for Sway. I’d actually consider reading it now.
    Kayla @ The Thousand Lives recently posted…To Reread or Not to Reread?My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      3. Ha, it’s so funny the things that are appealing to particular eyes. The rainbow gradient doesn’t do much for me, aside from starting a craving for Skittles. :-p

      33. So scruffy, but I probably wouldn’t be worried about shaving my legs during the zombie outbreak, so I forgive him.

  7. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. Hell, I thought for a split second that this WAS a Graceling book!

    5. I feel like this one should have a “You tried” gold star on the front.

    22. Oh hell, I love this!

    23. If I Fall much??

    29. The photoshopper needs to find a new job.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Lyn at BEAMy Profile

  8. 1. This one is fairly decent. (Fairly.) Too bad the book isn’t.

    6. If this is supposed to be water, why is it all pixelated?

    7. Um, okay, her smile TOTALLY looks like Steph’s from Cuddlebuggery. IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL US, STEPH??

    8. Ick. Mixing parts of speech like that makes my eye twitch. Parallelism is your friend, people!

    11. *stabs the ellipses*

    21. All the covers in this series underwhelm me.

    23. Why is just the one eye in focus? It makes me feel caddywampus. I like her freckles, though.

    24. Wait, the first book only made it thru the first 20 days? Gosh, so glad I DNF’d it.

    33. OOOOOOOOH

    WTF1. STOP SHAMING US, SHAY/SHEYS OF THE WORLD! Yeesh. Firstl Shey Stahl and her plagiarism and now this Shay and her poor cover. C’mon, Shay, you can do it. Aim higher.
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…DNF Review: THE DYERVILLE TALES, GIRL IN REVERSEMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. Thankfully I did not have Defy. This has not Ignited my interest.

      6, Is it water? I didn’t know what was happening.

      8. IT BOTHERS ME MUCHLY.

      11. Ellipses do not belong on book covers.

      21. The redesign is better, but it’s also boring.

      23. Caddywampus!

      24. I hardly remember that book tbh.

      WTF1. HAHAHAHA

  9. Angie F. says:

    2. I like it! And I love the author’s name.

    6. Daisies are my favorite, but this is boring.

    10. I do not like cupcakes, but that one is pretty.

    23. The blurred effect bothers my eyes.

    25. Gross (pants and feet).

    26. That title…wow.

    29. I am intrigued.
    Angie F. recently posted…Review: Into the Still Blue (Under the Never Sky, #3) by Veronica RossiMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      6. Very much so.

      10. YOU DO NOT LIKE CUPCAKES?!?!?!

      23. I’m not a huge fan of blurring effects in most cases.

      25. Not a fan of feet, I take it?

  10. I love the UPROOTED cover and it’s sketchy style – I wouldn’t want to see it everywhere but I think for a fairytale type book it fits nicely.

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