Cover Snark (99): The One with the Sparkleponies

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. The Guild of Assassins (Majat Code #2) – Anna Kashina
The Guild of Assassins (Majat Code #2) - Anna Kashina
Thoughts: Pretty sure he decided he doesn’t need that spear to kill me. He’ll just asphyxiate me with his cloak.

2. Wishes – Molly Cochran
Wishes - Molly Cochran
Thoughts: Oh wow, someone put a lot of work into the placeholder cover for this book! Wait, what do you mean this is the actual cover? No me gusta.

3. By Sun & Candlelight (Flora #1.5) – Jessica Brooks
By Sun & Candlelight - Jessica Brooks
Thoughts: Both sun and candlelight are just around the riverbeeeeeend.

4. Feuds – Avery Hastings
Feuds – Avery Hastings
Thoughts: Do not get in the black swan’s way as she fights for love. She will fuck you up.

5. The Terminals – Royce Scott Buckingham
The Terminals – Royce Scott Buckingham
Thoughts: Hurry, this cover is flat-lining! Someone, make it interesting STAT.

6. Pizza Delivery – Robert Kent
Pizza Delivery - Robert Kent
Thoughts: Oh god, it’s a horror novel centered around ordering pizza. If the person doesn’t get to at least eat the pizza before their death, this is cruel and unusual.

7. Shifting Shadows: Stories from the World of Mercy Thompson (Mercy Thompson) – Patricia Briggs
Shifting Shadows Stories from the World of Mercy Thompson - Patricia Briggs
Thoughts: I am a little uncomfortable with how this cover makes me stare at her boobs. Also, I love the running wolf on the gold bar, but I’m not sure what the gold bars are doing.

8. Dead But Not Forgotten: Stories from the World of Sookie Stackhouse – Charlaine Harris & Toni L. P. Kelner
Dead But Not Forgotten Stories from the World of Sookie Stackhouse - Charlaine Harris, Toni L. P. Kelner
Thoughts: The blend of real wolves photoshopped onto a cartoony background is unpleasant to me.

9. Dreamer’s Pool (Blackthorn & Grim #1) – Juliet Marillier
Dreamer's Pool (Blackthorn & Grim) - Juliet Marillier
Thoughts: It’s so pretty. Very Ophelia heading to the pond, but just soooo pretty.

10. Shattered (Scorched #2) – Mari Mancusi
Shattered - Mari Mancusi
Thoughts: I imagine she’s staring in wonder at a pile of dragon poop the size of herself and going “holy shit!”

11. Risky Business (Bomb Squad #1) – Melissa Cutler
Risky Business (Bomb Squad #1) - Melissa Cutler
Thoughts: No, no, the Risky Business pose is a shirt and no pants, and it goes like THIS.

12. What Has Become of You – Jan Elizabeth Watson
What Has Become of You - Jan Elizabeth Watson
Thoughts: WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU IS THAT SOMEONE HAS PUT TEXT ON YOUR FACE.

13. Prom Impossible – Laura Pauling
Prom Impossible - Laura Pauling
Thoughts: Maybe Prom would be more possible if you weren’t dressed like Carrie Bradshaw?

14. In Bed with a Spy – Alyssa Alexander
In Bed with a Spy (Spy in the Ton #2) - Alyssa Alexander
Thoughts: He/she must not be a very good spy if they left that knife sitting out like that. Not normal travel gear.

15. Deadly Delicious – K.L. Kincy
Deadly Delicious - K.L. Kincy
Thoughts: The deadly is in icing. First pizza and now a killer cupcake. I am doomed.

16. Zeroboxer – Fonda Lee
Zeroboxer - Fonda Lee
Thoughts: Again with the first letter of the title, but I am actually intrigued by this cover. What is the strange winged thing? Is it sensical in context? I must know!

17. Forecast (Sisters of Fate #2) – Rinda Elliott
Forecast (Sisters of Fate #2) - Rinda Elliott
Thoughts: There’s a 30% chance it’s already snowing.

18. The Art of Getting Stared At – Laura Langston
The Art of Getting Stared At - Laura Langston
Thoughts: This is a class that might actually have helped me in my daily life. Apparently one way to handle the stares is to stare in turn at your split ends.

19. The Opal Crown (The Opal Mask #2) – Jenny Lundquist
The Opal Crown (The Opal Mask #2) - Jenny Lundquist
Thoughts: I do prefer this a bit to the cover of book one, but there’s still something vaguely off-putting abotu these covers. Maybe the tie-dyed backgrounds? Or the font?

20. Blurred (Connections #3.5) – Kim Karr
Blurred - Kim Karr
Thoughts: That girl is going to murder this Rob Pattinson look alike. I’m pretty certain.

21. London Falling (I See London #2) – Chanel Cleeton
London Falling - Chanel Cleeton
Thoughts: This is the part where he drops her in the river.

22. Some Boys – Patty Blount
Some Boys - Patty Blount
Thoughts: Don’t you like how passive this tagline makes the heroine? It’s all about what the boys do, and the girl has no say. Fucking fantastic.

23. Whatever Life Throws At You – Julie Cross
Whatever Life Throws At You - Julie Cross
Thoughts: THIS COVER IS A NEVER BEEN KISSED REFERENCE. YOU HAVE CAUGHT MY ATTENTION.

24. The Inheritance Trilogy Omnibus (The Inheritance Trilogy #1-3) – N. K. Jemisin
The Inheritance Trilogy - N. K. Jemisin
Thoughts: Congratulations, you have inherited these doors. Don’t you adoor this cover?

25. Devil’s Pocket (Phoenix Island #2) – John Dixon
Devil's Pocket - John Dixon
Thoughts: FIREPUNCH.

26. Autumn Falls (Autumn Falls #1) – Bella Thorne
Bella Thorne - Autumn Falls
Thoughts: Purple and orange and white, whyyyyyy?

27. The Staff of Serapis (Percy Jackson & Kane Chronicles Crossover #2) – Rick Riordan
The Staff of Serapis (Percy Jackson & Kane Chronicles Crossover #2) - Rick Riordan
Thoughts: Is that one girl dressed in scrubs? And is a dog about to fight a lion? I am confused.

28. No Prince Charming – Angel Payne & Victoria Blue
No Prince Charming - Angel Payne & Victoria Blue
Thoughts: I bet he stole her shoe and isn’t going to give it back. Jerk.

29. Fissure Free (Schasm #2) – Shari J. Ryan
Fissure Free - Shari J. Ryan
Thoughts: So, hold up. She’s painting on the ground as she Moses through some water towards Paris. Huh?

30. Black Dove, White Raven – Elizabeth Wein
Black Dove, White Raven - Elizabeth Wein
Thoughts: I feel like I’d like this a bit more if it weren’t quite so zoomed in on the girl’s face. Also, the green font for the author’s name isn’t working for me at all.

31. Shield and Crocus – Michael R Underwood
Michael R Underwood Shield and Crocus
Thoughts: This is very hippie-ish, am I right? He’s going to fight with flowers and a shield, because, hey, flowers aren’t much good against a sword and he’s not TOTALLY stupid. Also, that skull mountain castle thing is pretty badass.

32. The Last Good Day of the Year – Jessica Warman
The Last Good Day of the Year - Jessica Warman
Thoughts: I really do not care for the way that bear is side-eyeing me.

33. Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel – Sara Farizan
Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel - Sara Farizan
Thoughts: Why is this sideways? Why is it pink and stripey? WHY?

34. Darkness Falls (Dark Angels #7) – Keri Arthur
Darkness Falls (Dark Angels #7) - Keri Arthur
Thoughts: IS IT POSSIBLE TO MAKE NON-TERRIBLE LOOKING ANGEL WINGS? SEEMS LIKE NO.

35. The Shadows (The Fianna Trilogy #1) – Megan Chance
The Shadows - Megan Chance
Thoughts: Girl, if your farts are doing this, you should probably consider a change of diet or consult a health care professional.

36. Beyond the Pale Motel – Francesca Lia Block
Beyond the Pale Motel - Francesca Lia Block
Thoughts: You really want to look for hotels that don’t burn easily.

37. Bright Coin Moon – Kirsten Lopresti
Bright Coin Moon - Kirsten Lopresti
Thoughts: You know what, I totally misunderstood the lyrics to Colors of the Wind forever too, but it’s the BLUE CORN MOON.

38. The Unhappening of Genesis Lee – Shallee McArthur
The Unhappening of Genesis Lee - Shallee McArthur
Thoughts: Mara Dyer changed her name?

39. Carrier (The Line #1) – Anne Tibbets
Carrier (The Line #1) - Anne Tibbets
Thoughts: She carried a watermelon?

40. The Lost (Witch & Wizard #5) – James Patterson
The Lost - James Patterson
Thoughts: Covers like this are Sooooo boring. Like, yes, congratulations, this word does start with L. Though it is a good excuse to go listen to La La La Lemon. And, yes, I’m obsessed with a song for kids. I regret NOTHING.

Cover Battles:

1. Take Me On (Pushing the Limits #4) – Katie McGarry

Take Me On (Pushing the Limits #4) - Katie McGarry
Take Me On (Pushing the Limits #4) - Katie McGarry

US vs. Australian: Australian cover, you need to quit whatever drugs you are on.

2. Penumbra (Spook Squad #3) – Keri Arthur

Penumbra (The Spook Squad #3) - Keri Arthur Imajinn
Penumbra (The Spook Squad #3) - Keri Arthur

Imajinn vs. Dell: Well, it’s definitely an improvement, but oy. Leather boots, leather pants, and a leather vest with no shirt. Really? That position must be uncomfortable. Just oof. Though she could easily flash men for a boob up in battle. (You know, like a leg up, only it’s your boob giving you a boost.)

3. The Moment Collector – Jodi Lynn Anderson

The Vanishing Season by Jodi Lynn Anderson
The Moment Collector - Jodi Lynn Anderson

US vs. UK: Wow, the UK cover is like a black and white Jodi Meadows cover. Are butterfly faces the cover trend for authors named Jodi?

4. Dangerous Girls – Abigail Haas

Dangerous Girls - Abigail Haas
Dangerous Girls - Abigail Haas paperback

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Perhaps slightly more compelling than the sand, but it also looks like a pic next to a Cosmo article on having great sex or something.

5. Circle of Stones – Catherine Fisher

Crown of Acorns - Catherine Fisher
Circle of Stones - Catherine Fisher

UK vs. US: An epic battle of Game of Thronesian titles. Who will win? YOU CHOOSE.

6. Mistborn (Mistborn #1) – Brandon Sanderson

Mistborn - Brandon Sanderson hb
The Final Empire (Mistborn #1) - Brandon Sanderson
Mistborn - Brandon Sanderson

US Hardback vs. US Paperback vs. US Redesign: The new one’s definitely the most badass, but I’m pretty attached to my paperback cover.

7. The Well of Ascension (Mistborn #2) – Brandon Sanderson

The Well of Ascension - Brandon Sanderson hb
The Well of Ascension - Brandon Sanderson pb
The Well of Ascension - Brandon Sanderson

US Hardback vs. US Paperback vs. US Redesign: Hmmm, I guess the new one? Mostly I am marveling at HOW horrible the original hardcovers were. Holy cow.

8. The Hero of Ages (Mistborn #3) – Brandon Sanderson

The Hero of Ages (Mistborn #3) - Brandon Sanderson hb
The Hero of Ages (Mistborn #3) - Brandon Sanderson pb
The Hero of Ages (Mistborn #3) - Brandon Sanderson

UK Hardback vs. UK Paperback vs. US Redesign: Um, I have to go with the original paperback, because it has Elend on it. Any Elend is better than no Elend.

9. Ruin and Rising (The Grisha #3) – Leigh Bardugo

Ruin & Rising (Grisha Trilogy #3) - Leigh Bardugo
Ruin and Rising (Grisha Trilogy Series #3) by Leigh Bardugo

US Hardback vs. B&N Exclusive Collector’s Edition: *stares* I think I like the regular cover better.

10. The Zombie Axiom (In the Time of the Dead Trilogy #1) – David Monette

Zombie Axiom - David Monette original
Zombie Axiom - David Monette

Original vs. Redesign: Now that’s a good change.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities – Chris Kluwe
Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities - Chris Kluwe
Thoughts: Now, WTF of the Week is for those covers that make you do a double take and say WTF. Sometimes it’s in a WHY WOULD ANYONE MAKE THIS? way and sometimes it’s pretty damn awesome. This is the latter. SPARKLEPONIES, GUYS. SPARKLEPONIES.

2. Golem in My Glovebox (Monster Haven #4) – R.L. Naquin
Golem in My Glovebox (Monster Haven #4) - R.L. Naquin
Thoughts: I think I’s be more immediately concerned about the eyes on my rearview mirror.

3. The Frenzied Fornacation of April Lööf (Sharks & Sunbathers #1) – Rachel Rivera
The Frenzied Fornacation of April Lööf (Sharks & Sunbathers #1) - Rachel Rivera
Thoughts: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This cover is chum to my snarkshark. Also, it’s “fornication.” This book is obviously well-edited. (Update: Apparently this was an April Fool’s Joke, which means that they succeeded in their goals. Good job, guys!)

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Dreamer’s Pool

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

Dreamer's Pool (Blackthorn & Grim) - Juliet Marillier

Today, welcome Lili (Lili’s Reflections), who has selected Dreamer’s Pool by Juliet Marillier. Here’s why:

“Normally I’m entirely against the usage of a cover model in a pretty dress to draw my eye to a book. Instead I find myself rolling my eyes and looking for something better, but I find this one to be absolutely gorgeous. I attribute this to the fact that it’s drawn and obvious that a lot of care went into it. It’s a place that one would literally dream about and I sort of wish I could stay there forever and just forget everything. I’d definitely be tempted to buy this one from the cover alone. Inner cover whore = satisfied.”

To learn more or purchase:Goodreads|Amazon|TBD|B&N

32 responses to “Cover Snark (99): The One with the Sparkleponies”

  1. Well dang some of these covers are so good. I have to say, the US covers have nothing on the UK covers for the Mistborn Trilogy, not that I own them, but just to stare at, the UK ones are much prettier. I also hate that that stock girl image from Some Boys is just EVERYWHERE this year? Is there a debut out this year that isn’t using that girl, jeez, publishers need to use someone new. I have to say, I’m a huge fan of the Grisha covers, I’m so tempted to try them, and Christina, sparkleponies, all the way girl!
    Amanda @ Book Badger recently posted…Who Wore It Better #7My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I like the Mistborn UK covers fairly well, but I have such a soft spot for my copies, mostly because they’re mine.

      Haha, you are not the only one. The first couple of commenters all growled at that girl. I was too distracted by the horrid tagline.

  2. #22. It’s THAT girl again.

  3. 2. I kind of like this, with the fancy swirls. But I am staring at what is in the magnifying glass and I can’t figure it out. What is it?!

    3. A lot of things aren’t working for me on this. The laurels are just too clip-art looking ( I think it would have been better if they were silver to match the shield/crest) and I don’t like that combo of font. But now I have Pocahontas songs stuck in my head thaaaanks LOL

    4. Pretty! I wonder what all the geometric symbols represent though… I really like the texture effect though!

    5. Very Lost-esque. It interests me enough to click to GR and see what it’s about so *shrugs*

    6. Eek! This is also hilarious.

    7. Too much going on…

    8. HUUUGE moon!

    9. Love the painting sort of look this has. Very good for a fairytale novel.

    12. I’m distracted trying to figure out the reflection in her eyes. It’s like a window and then a person standing there or something…

    15. So weird but I’m still digging it, haha.

    19. Beautiful! The title is a little hard to read though…

    30. I JUST GASPED. THERE IS ANOTHER ELIZABETH WEIN BOOK COMING OUT?!?! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS!!! *breathes* OK, but I don’t like how this is in the exact same style as one of the Rose Under Fire covers

    32. Freaky teddy bear o.O

    33. This isn’t a placeholder cover? Not a fan but at least there is lesbian representation on a YA cover
    Rachelia (Bookish Comforts) recently posted…{Blog Tour: Review & Giveaway!} Jewel of the Thames by Angela MisriMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      2. Hmmm, kinda looks like a pillow?

      3. You’re welcome for the earworm. I try to throw in at least one per post.. Agree about the terrible font, and I just don’t like the combo of pretentious prep school crest and nature scene.

      8. Moonstruck!

      12. Hahaha, you are really into reflections.

      30. Yeah, I’m not a big fan of this cover, but I neeeeeed the book.

      33. I don’t believe so. It’s on Amazon.

  4. Kayla Beck says:

    1. Angry Robot and its sublabels have the very best cover designers. I think I should make an award for them because they piss me off the least.

    2. You mean they missed the opportunity to have a magic wand or a lamp?!

    4. This makes no sense. Sci-fi with a ballerina? And are those buildings supposed to look like feathers? I bet Angry Robot’s team could have made this look good.

    5. I’ll be skipping this one because the cover warns of the stereotypes found inside. Three guys, hot girl, nerdy girl, and helicopter that promises of an evil government… Nope.

    6. Should’ve gone with Digiorno.

    7. The gold bars are accentuating her boobs.

    16. This may be the best cover Flux has ever put out.

    24. I thought about getting this omnibus, but it’s nearly 1500 pages. NO.

    27. Is the dog on the bottom right half fish?

    31. All I could think when I first saw this was “FUCK YES!!!” The skull mountain castle is most definitely badass.

    32. I would burn that bear. It looks like a gnome.

    CB3. *heads to Fishpond*

    CB6. It’s like she’s fog-skating on the redesign.

    CB7. That’s the biggest fucking sword that I’ve ever seen in my life.

    WTF1. Where is the rest of the carousel? WAIT! SPARKLEPONIES DON’T NEED A FUCKING CAROUSEL!
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Epic Recs: April 2014My Profile

    • LG says:

      #7 – That’s what I was going to say. I hate how every one of Patricia Briggs’ covers make Mercy (or OMG Anna) look like she could be a pinup model.

      • Christina Franke says:

        1. Interesting. I’m most into Tor’s covers, specifically their ebook ones. I also love a lot of Harper covers. This one’s not doing much for me.

        4. Yeah, I don’t really get it.

        5. Yup.

        6. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. YOU WIN.

        7. THAT’S WHY I AM STARING AT THEM LIKE A CREEPER EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT HAVE SEXY FEELINGS ABOUT BOOBS.

        16. It’s cool-looking, even though I hate the cover trend of putting the first letter on the cover. Unless someone is carving Zs everywhere. IS THIS ZORRO IN SPACE?

        24. But cheaper! I am totally getting it.

        27. I was trying to decide and I really don’t know.

        31. You really love fantasy covers. 🙂

        WTF1. Sparkleponies are like the ones in Mary poppins.

  5. Gillian says:

    3. Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as the sun and candlelight?

    5. THE HAIR ON THE GUY IN THE MIDDLE IS GROSS. IT’S LIKE JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER HAIR

    9. Soooo pretttyyyy

    12. THAT IS SO MUCH FACE.

    15. OMG please don’t ruin cupcakes for me swamp zombies

    16. I have no clue what this is but I think I like it.

    23. Reference or rip-off? Hmmmmm.

    24. Eh. It’s knob big deal.

    27. Stupid cover but ANNABETH ANNABETH ANNABETH

    29. And she paints a HEART. Of all things.

    31. Hippies? Where on earth are you getting that? Oh, the crocus part? That castle is bombbbb.

    32. No no no no no no no no no

    33. I like. I care not for the reasons of sideways and stripes.

    37. THE SECOND POCAHONTAS REFERENCE IN ONE POST. GIRL AFTER MY OWN HEART.

    38. Ha! I was just thinking the same thing.

    39. “Snarkniess”? Was this a mistake? If so, pretend otherwise, because it’s still funny.

    CB1. OH GOOD GOD NO.
    CB3. Hahahah
    CB4. ANYTHING is better than the stupid sandcuffs.
    CB5. HAHAHA at Pieces of Shit
    Mistborn: I actually really like the originals. Wah wahhhh. But the redesigns are the best of them.
    CB9. So obviously I’m going to ahve to buy this stupid Ruin and Rising collector’s edition AND the regular even though the regular is so much purdier. Goodbye monies

    WTF1. This. This has made all my dreams come true. I will never be sad again.

    WTF3. OKAY NOW I’M SAD BECAUSE OMG WHAT SHARK SEX? A PERSON NAMED APRIL LOOF? FRENzIED FORNICATION?? MISPELLINGS? TRAGIC BANGS? WHICH COULD BE INTERPRETED AS EITHER HER HAIRSTYLE OR THE LESS THAN HAPPY OUTCOME OF SEX IN SHARK-INFESTED WATERS.
    Gillian recently posted…Feeling En-Titled: Blood Daughter of the Shadow City of Stars and FireMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      3. Some week I will not have a Disney reference and it will be a sad week.

      5. EW, IT IS. When Debby and I watch COB, we basically went EW EW EW constantly.

      15. The swamp zombies would also like you to have some cake.

      23. I decided to be nice. I hope reference.

      24. These designers didn’t lintel me down.

      31. A flower as a sword. That is where.

      33. It’s mostly the shade of pink I cannot handle.

      37. It was a Pocahontas week. I wonder how many people do not understand my reference. Maybe I should make a post about pop culture you should watch to fully appreciate Cover Snark.

      39. That WAS a mistake. But I might just let it be at this point. Oops.

      CB5. Thank you for appreciating that.

      WTF3. Apparently this was a joke for April Fools, but I am too lazy to look for such fine details. Either way, that means they should be proud it ended up here.

  6. Lesley says:

    The UK cover of Dangerous Girls is pretty unappealing too. I wonder if Abigail Haas did something bad to cover designers in a previous list. That being said, it’s still basically at the top of my to-read pile.

    And also, in regards to the special edition Ruin and Rising, ewww. Now I need to check if they did special editions for the first two, because matching covers are important.
    Lesley recently posted…THE ASSASSIN’S BLADEMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I always wonder what certain authors have done to the design community. Like Richelle Mead. She has obviously earned their eternal loathing somehow.

      B&N misstepped with that special edition.

  7. Angela says:

    I’m pretty sure that April Loof cover was an April Fools Day joke 😉

    There’s actually some really good covers this week!
    Angela recently posted…Review: River Marked by Patricia BriggsMy Profile

  8. Roro says:

    The dreamer’s pool . Ooh so pretty
    Roro recently posted…Review : THE RIVERMAN BY AARON STARMERMy Profile

  9. fakesteph says:

    I don’t care what cover I get, I want to read Ruin and Rising so bad.
    fakesteph recently posted…Fool Moon by Jim ButcherMy Profile

  10. LG says:

    Wait, I thought WTF #3 was an April Fool’s joke. That’s the day I first saw it, so that’s what I figured it was. It’s not really real, is it?
    LG recently posted…Midnight Secretary (manga, vol. 1) story & art by Tomu OhmiMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      You are not the only one who said that, so I think it is a joke. I look after the fact so the April 1 thing definitely missed me. Still hilarious though.

  11. 3. If you crop literally EVERYTHING out of that besides the sky, it’d be a classic Tumblr hipster pic

    4. I feel like even her tutu screams “badass” to me

    7. Yeah omg literally I was looking at the cover and my vision literally landed smack onto her boobs and it was so disturbing

    8. That’s a reeeeeaaaaallllyyy big moon

    11. Oh look another fascinating cover of a shirtless athlete with a tagline that’s basically a sports and romance pun!

    20. The only thing that they missed was blurring the title font to match the actual title

    26. Oh jeez the colors definitely don’t work well together but Bella Thorne is so great and I only really know her as the star of Shake it Up so I guess now she’s gonna join the ranks of celebrities who decide to publish books! (I feel like there are just SO many of them)

    28. Prediction: he’s gonna sell the slipper and leave town with it

    33. A crush should feel like two people laying sideways

    CB 1: Honestly I feel like all of Katie’s books are really badly airbrushed with the US covers (except maybe the first book because the sleeve had a matte finish) and the colors on the UK/Aus books are just so awkward

    CB 3: I just get over the paperback because it looks like she’s dead because her hand is bent at a REALLY awkward angle
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    • Christina Franke says:

      4. A tutu screaming is a horrifying mental image.

      20. Nope, it’s NA, so you have to put the title on more than once. So the reader has double vision like they’ve been to a rager.

      26. Apparently I need to google who Bella Thorne is.

      CB1. I don’t love the US covers, but the Australian one is just SO BAD. I CANNOT EVEN.

  12. Angie F. says:

    2. That would have been quite clever for a placeholder!

    6. I am intrigued.

    9. I want her hair.

    22. Hey, it’s the girl from Searching for Beautiful!!!

    Battles.
    1. Ew, neither.

    2. Dell, just because it looks like the Urban Fantasy that it is.

    3. I like them both! But maybe the UK.

    4. Hardcover.

    9. Regular hardcover.

    WTF
    1. o_O
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  13. Annie says:

    5 – and why isn’t the one girl allowed to wear a shirt?

    9 – that’s beautiful!

    10 – I love the way the dragons look on these covers. it’s why I decided to start the series.

    17 – hahah! whatever I’m lame but your snarkiness totally made me laugh 🙂

    cover battle 1 – oh, no. the australian cover scares me.
    3 – and I think the us cover is so pretty! it’s unique and delicate and I really like it.
    9 – the yellow just work nearly as well as the white. there’s something about the stark white against the red that is so pretty. but yellow is also not one of my favorite colors…
    Annie recently posted…a reversal on reviewsMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      5. Because she’s the hot one. Hot people don’t get shirts.

      17. Recognizing Mean Girls is anything but lame.

      R&R is my least favorite of the covers for this series, but, wow, this special edition gives me a new appreciation for the actual cover.

  14. 4. THAT’S A COVER REFERENCING PRINCESS TUTU AND BATTLE-BALLET AND NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. *takes a momentary leave to sob because oh God, Princess Tutu destroyed me*

    6. This is kinda how I view pizza delivery since I hate pizza: Something horrifying.

    9. HER HAIR. I LOVE IT.

    10. If there’s a dragon cult, it really IS a holy shit. (Go on and kill me for that awful pun. I deserve it.) The cover is lovely and I’m tempted to read this, but I remember how unbelievably stupid Scorched was. Not falling for that again! (Maybe.)

    13. HEY NOW, I’D HAPPILY WEAR THAT DRESS. Other things I will happily do include read this book because in my headcanon, she has all the men.

    14. For a second there, I thought her dress was made of colored bubblewrap.

    24. You’ve also inherited what’s behind these doors, aka the apocalypse. (I don’t know if that’s what is behind them, but fuck it, I say there’s an apocalypse back there.)

    25. This would have been the best fucking cover in the world to make 3D.

    26. Hellooooooooooo, half-assed cover for a celebrity. Not like they need a good cover since fans will turn out in droves for it.

    28. This cover gives me Cinderbeard vibes and I love it. (Except for the fact there is no forgotten shoe for him to find in Cinderbeard; he catches her before she can get away and lose one of them.)

    30. If this is the US cover, I’m staging a mutiny. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER, DISNEY-HYPERION.

    38. Yup. Had to go into Witness Protection again and get yet another new name.

    4. I’m really into that sand cover, so I’m gonna have to find a hardcover of it. NEED.

  15. 2. Wishes.. If I was the author I would wish for another cover.
    4. Weird.
    6. “it’s mean and nasty and intended for a mature audience. It is absolutely not appropriate for younger readers. It’s a gruesome, repugnant tale featuring horrific acts of violence sure to warp young minds.” Sounds intense.
    7. Haha, well, they are quite.. present.
    9. So. So. So. Pretty. And she’s one of my favorite authors, so I’m very excited.
    13. The only thing I keep looking at is the ‘i’ which should be I.
    16. This is weird and intriguing at the same time.
    19. That is colorful. Not sure what I think about it.
    29. I wonder where she left her shoes.

    1. Australian cover, what is going on there??
    2. Redesign is much better, still not good though.
    3. US cover for sure!
    9. I wonder whats more special about the collectors edition? Does it have extra content? Because I prefer the original cover too.
    10. Redesign doing a good job 🙂
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 250. Abby Grahame – Wentworth hall.My Profile

  16. I think my favourite has to be “What Has Become of You” I love the photography work even though I have seen this concept done so many times (mainly for magazine covers).

    Some Boys: If I see this model/image being used one more time I might throw something at the screen. Cover artists/authors really need to do research into their stock imagery. Even if stock photos are expensive actually approach photographers, which can be a lot cheaper.

    I like the UK edition of the Jodie Lynn Anderson’s novel. In fact when I first saw The Vanishing Season I was a little taken aback because I thought it was too similar to The Haunting Season by Michelle Muto, I even thought it was a cover re-do of Muto’s: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16141351-the-haunting-season
    Georgie @ What She Reads recently posted…STORYBOARD: N’1My Profile

  17. 4. She’ll drill you into the earth with the force of her crazy-strong ballerina big toe, that’s what she’ll do.

    5. Chica with the glasses kinda freaks me out. But I like her, because yay, glasses!

    6. Shouldn’t there at least be, I don’t know, blood oozing from the boxes? Or fingers clawing out the holes? Or SOMETHING?

    10. I’m worried about her clothing choices. I just picture her scraping her bare shoulders against that dragon and it tearing her up like asphalt. One would think riding a dragon would require protective gear.

    11. I’m confused. So there’s a classic movie/music reference, a shirtless guy in jeans, a bomb squad, and ice skates? So what’s the real theme here?

    12. Who is she looking at? What are they holding? IS THAT A KNIFE?

    14. Oh my gosh, that photosthopping is SO BAD. Also, that hair down her back is making me itch.

    16. Sesame Street is sponsored by the letter Z… IN SPAAAAAAACE!

    18. Why would I want to be good at being stared at? I want to be good at making people STOP STARING.

    20. I thought about rooting her on, but then I spotted her overly enhanced eye color, so I’m calling this a tie. Y’all can go slaughter each other.

    24. But they’re pretty doors.

    27. Oh ick no. Annabeth would not approve of this design.

    32. KILL IT

    36. Oh gross. This is why I don’t use hotel comforters.

    39. I’m trying to figure out the load symbol in the corner. Is that a series emblem? The mark of the pub house?

    CB9. I am so annoyed. I want that Darkling novella, but am I willing to trade it for a cover that won’t match my set? NO.
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Rewind & Review (45)My Profile

  18. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. Oy, that cloak…
    7. Hi, boobs….
    8. Oh, I am so sorry, but that is one of the stupidest covers, ever….
    9. I am sold!
    13. Vomit.
    16. Steampunk wings….I might bite on the bait for a bit.
    17. Feeling our boobs, are we?
    20. Okay, random fact: I kept reading the title as Blurped.

    Dreamer’s Pool one me over this week.

    Thanks for a great entry!
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Graphic Novel Review: Sailor Twain by Mark SiegelMy Profile

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  20. […] plan!) Nikki thought about her conflicting feelings on commenting Christina brought us some awesome Cover Snark (sparkleponies were involved) Hazel admitted to her struggle to blog creatively Anya committed to […]

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