Cover Snark (93): The One with Sauron and a Badass Water Dragon


Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Take Me On (Pushing the Limits #4) – Katie McGarry
Take Me On (Pushing the Limits #4) - Katie McGarry
Thoughts: I like how the teens on her covers dress like normal people. Jeans and tank tops! I am, however, a bit freaked out by the poster? Ghost? Whatever that is between the title and the dude.

2. Blurred Lines – Brooke Cumberland
Blurred Lines - Brooke Cumberland
Thoughts: I suppose this was inevitable. New Adult and Robin Thicke are a match made in heaven. No wait, not Heaven. They’re a match made in Asshole Island.

3. Lark Rising (Guardians of Tarnec #1) – Sandra Waugh
Lark Rising - Sandra Waugh
Thoughts: Oooh, I like the title font. Actually, I just like all of the vines. They’ve done a very vine job with this cover. HOWEVER, I JUST NOTICED THE BUG AND NO.

4. Crown of Ice – Vicki L. Weavil
Crown of Ice - Vicki L. Weavil
Thoughts: Probably should have looked to Frozen for clues about how to make an awesome looking ice/snow queen. Also, the font combined with the title makes me feel like this is a Throne of Glass rip off.

5. Nowhere But Here – Renée Carlino
Nowhere But Here - Renee Carlino
Thoughts: Looks more like they changed their entire wardrobe for less clothing. Or for more. Which is the before and which is the after? I know which I would prefer my after to be, but really who knows.

6. The Beast of Callaire (The Legend Mirror #1) – Saruuh Kelsey
The Beast of Callaire (The Legend Mirror #1) - Saruuh Kelsey
Thoughts: Why does the “of” have wings? WHY?

7. Goddess – Laura Powell
Goddess - Laura Powell
Thoughts: Some covers are destined to make people buy the ebook if they buy the book at all.

8. Taking Nicole (Vegas Mates #4) – Krystal Shannan
Taking Nicole (Vegas Mates #4) - Krystal Shannan
Thoughts: Well, since the cat isn’t mentioned in the blurb, I assume that what happens when he realizes he can’t give her up is that she shifts into a leopard and eats him, starting with his man parts. She doesn’t go in for Stockholm syndrome.

9. Brutal Youth – Anthony Breznican
Brutal Youth - Anthony Breznican
Thoughts: If the youths were REALLY brutal, they would set the jacket on fire while someone was still wearing it.

10. Masquerade (The Rosewoods #2) – Katrina Abbott
Masquerade - Katrina Abbott
Thoughts: Dear cover girl, the fonts on your cover make me weep too.

11. Falling into Place – Amy Zhang
Thoughts: Update: this cover was leaked apparently, and the final will be different. It has been taken down.

12. The Perilous Sea (The Elemental Trilogy #2) – Sherry Thomas
The Perilous Sea (The Elemental Trilogy #2) - Sherry Thomas
Thoughts: LOOK AT THAT WATER DRAGON. That is awesome. And look at the way the line through the E and A emulates water! The tagline is the only thing bringing this down, but WATER DRAGON.

13. Catalyst (Insignia #3) – S.J. Kincaid
Catalyst (Insignia #3) - S.J. Kincaid
Thoughts: Not the most fascinating cover, but these look much nicer in person with the shiny effects, and I’m sure the series will be a really pretty set.

14. The Far Dawn (The Atlanteans #3) – Kevin Emerson
The Far Dawn (The Atlanteans #3) - Kevin Emerson
Thoughts: They totally look like teenagers…a far dawn from their teenager days.

15. Stray – Elissa Sussman
Stray - Elissa Sussman
Thoughts: I’ve been staring at this for an absurdly long time, and I think I’ve finally figured it out. It’s a woman with a crown leaning against a tree. At first I thought she was just raising her hand and had an oddly spiky head. Also, the title always puts this earworm in my head.

16. To Die Fur (Whiskey, Tango & Foxtrot Mystery, #2) – Dixie Lyle
To Die Fur (Whiskey, Tango & Foxtrot Mystery, #2) - Dixie Lyle
Thoughts: Not a total catastrophe. Certainly not infuriating. A riveting tail, one can only hope. Do you want it right meow? Too bad; you must be pawtient.

17. Messenger of Fear – Michael Grant
Messenger of Fear - Michael Grant
Thoughts: Is the Messenger Santa? He know’s when you’ve been naughty, apparently.

18. Nantucket Red (Nantucket #2) – Leila Howland
Nantucket Red (Nantucket #2) - Leila Howland
Thoughts: More like Nantucket READ, am I right? Whaaaaaat! (I’ve been watching LBD and I’m on a Lydia high. Go with it.)

19. Unmade (Entangled #2) – Amy Rose Capetta
Unmade - Amy Rose Capetta
Thoughts: That space ship looks super realistic, no? Everything else is shiny and fancy, and then there’s a space ship that looks like it’s out of a Saturday morning cartoon.

20. Razorhurst – Justine Larbalestier
Razorhurst - Justine Larbalestier
Thoughts: Grrrr, if something is one word, but not a common word, maybe don’t split it across two lines on the cover, so people can look it up more easily?

21. On the Edge – Allison Van Diepen
On the Edge Allison Van Diepen
Thoughts: Wow, white people kissing. HOW EDGY.

22. The Girl of Fire and Thorns Stories (Fire and Thorns #0.5-0.7 – Rae Carson
The Girl of Fire and Thorns Stories - Rae Carson
Thoughts: Honestly, I’d be happier without the jewel, but the colors and plants are pretty.

23. Last Plane to Heaven: The Final Collection – Jay Lake
Last Plane to Heaven The Final Collection - Jay Lake
Thoughts: Since this is pubbed by Tor it’s probably not, but DAMN that sounds Christian.

24. Rites of Passage – Joy N. Hensley
Rites of Passage - Joy N. Hensley
Thoughts: Do dog tags usually say PS and have a skull on them? That’s rather morbid. *breaks into TAPS*

25. Hook’s Revenge – Heidi Schulz
Hook's Revenge - Heidi Schultz
Thoughts: The art looks like an old school comic. And Smee looks just like the guy in Hook. Best part: the hook on the title.

26. Demon Child (Celestial Battle #2) – Kylie Chan
Demon Child (Celestial Battle #2) - Kylie Chan
Thoughts: The oceans were made by that Goddess peeing. Awkward turtle of an origin story.

27. A New Darkness (The Starblade Chronicles #1) – Joseph Delaney
A New Darkness (The Starblade Chronicles #1) - Joseph Delaney
Thoughts: Really, Harper? This looks like a kid’s horror novel from the 90s. You can do so much better. You usually do.

28. The Fatal Tree (Bright Empires #5) – Stephen R. Lawhead
The Fatal Tree - Stephen R. Lawhead
Thoughts: Shiny colors. Looks like fairies in the forest and possibly paganism, but Christian publisher. *scratches head*

29. The Fires of Calderon (The Balance Keepers #1) – Lindsay Cummings
The Fires of Calderon (The Balance Keepers #1) - Lindsay Cummings

30. Althea and Oliver – Cristina Moracho
Althea and Oliver - Cristina Moracho
Thoughts: Pillow talk, pillow talk. Another night of hearin’ myself talk, talk, talk, talk. Wonder how it would be to have someone to pillow talk with me. I wonder how. I wonder who.

31. Ravencliffe (Blythewood #2) – Carol Goodman
Ravencliffe (Blythewood #2) - Carol Goodman
Thoughts: That font is surprisingly difficult to read. I think it’s because my eye is being drawn all over the place following the birds and the tagline.

32. Stranger – Sherwood Smith & Rachel Manija Brown
Stranger - Sherwood Smith & Rachel Manija Brown
Thoughts: I quite like the way the title’s been done, though it might be fun if it was tipping, like the tagline implies.

33. The Gift of a Good Start – Earl Sewell
The Gift of a Good Start - Earl Sewell
Thoughts: No locker in the history of teenager has ever been so organized. Also, what school has lockers this big? Ours were less than half that size.

34. The Question of Miracles – Elana K. Arnold
The Question of Miracles - Elana K. Arnold
Thoughts: The universe is taunting the girl with a broken umbrella. Like, HAHA, look at all these perfectly functioning umbrellas you cannot have. And another Earworm.

35. Donna of the Dead – Alison Kemper
Donna of the Dead - Alison Kemper
Thoughts: And then they were eaten by zombies. Hope it was a good kiss at least. The end of the world is perfect for the zombies who have stupid but tasty treats.

36. Rain (Paper Gods #2) – Amanda Sun
Rain (Paper Gods #2) - Amanda Sun
Thoughts: Okay, I love the purple flowers, but the faces don’t look right to me. They both appear to have lazy eyes, for example.

37. False Future (False Memory #3) – Dan Krokos
False Future (False Memory #3) - Dan Krokos
Thoughts: Paris holds the key to her heart, not computer chip!

38. Fire and Ice (Spirit Animals #4) – Shannon Hale
Fire and Ice (Spirit Animals #4) - Shannon Hale
Thoughts: Not remotely like His Dark Materials. Not at all.

39. The Line that Breaks (The Line That Binds #2) – J. M. Miller
The Line that Breaks - J.M. Miller
Thoughts: The key in the author’s name is a nice touch. I am quite keyn on it.

40. Tease (The Ivy Chronicles #2) – Sophie Jordan
Tease (The Ivy Chronicles #2) - Sophie Jordan
Thoughts: Wow, that’s some hot sex. She’s seducing someone the cameraman and he’s grunting away above her without noticing how not into it she is.

41. Desire (Brightest Kind of Darkness #4) – P.T. Michelle
Desire (Brightest Kind of Darkness #) - P.T. Michelle
Thoughts: My desire is to never see angel wings on a cover again, but apparently that won’t come true. Does he have sparkly knees or did the snow fly up in a very un-snowlike way?

42. When The Sun Goes Down – Erin Noelle
When The Sun Goes Down - Erin Noelle
Thoughts: No idea what it’s about, but pretty.

43. One Broke Girl (Edgewood Falls #1) – Rhonda Helms
One Broke Girl - Rhonda Helms
Thoughts: If she finds another broke girl, she can have a TV show.

44. The (Totally Not) Guaranteed Guide to Friends, Foes & Faux Friends (Jessica Darling’s It List #2) – Megan McCafferty
The (Totally Not) Guaranteed Guide to Friends, Foes & Faux Friends (Jessica Darling's It List #2) - Megan McCafferty
Thoughts: Denim jackets, composition books! This takes me back.

45. Fall of Night (Dead of Night #2) – Jonathan Maberry
Fall of Night (Dead of Night #2) - Jonathan Maberry
Thoughts: This is either a very large locker or a very small zombie.

46. Black Ice – Becca Fitzpatrick
Black Ice by Becca Fitzpatrick -- exclusive image
Thoughts: “Danger is hard to resist” – you can tell Fitzpatrick’s really branching out with her love interest.

47. Deliver Me – Kate Jarvik Birch
Deliver Me - Kate Jarvik Birch
Thoughts: And where should I send you? Timbuktu?

48. Legendarium – Michael Bunker & Kevin G. Summers
Legendarium - Michael Bunker & Kevin G. Summers

49. Harriet the Spy (Harriet the Spy #1) – Louise Fitzhugh
Harriet the Spy - Louise Fitzhugh
Thoughts: Black and white except for orange and yellow patches. That was an interesting choice. I think I’ll stick with the classic.

50. Famous Last Words – Katie Alender
Famous Last Words - Katie Alender
Thoughts: First I was bored and then I saw the girl under the bed and now I am terrified.

51. Night’s Honor (Elder Races #7) – Thea Harrison
Night's Honor (Elder Races #7) - Thea Harrison
Thoughts: Is he supposed to look like Two Face?

52. Cursed Love (Cursed #1) – T.H. Snyder
Cursed - T.H. Snyder
Thoughts: What is going on with these dude’s manboobs? Like, seriously, they are SO much pailer than the rest of him. Did he tan in a strapless bikini top?

53. Seth & Greyson (The Coincidence #7) – Jessica Sorensen
Seth & Greyson - Jessica Sorensen
Thoughts: White BOYS hugging. Something slightly different, yay! However, why does “never be afraid to love” need to be on here twice?

54. Schizo – Nic Sheff
Schizo - Nic Sheff
Thoughts: This is oddly patriotic.

55. Strike (The SYLO Chronicles #3) – D.J. MacHale
Strike (The SYLO Chronicles #3) - D.J. MacHale
Thoughts: So I assume they’re using that thing as a giant bowling ball to knock over the little buildings.

56. The Halcyon Bird – (The Demon Catchers of Milano #2) – Kat Beyer
The Halcyon Bird - (The Demon Catchers of Milano #2) - Kat Beyer
Thoughts: It looks like she’s imprisoned. Even if my prison was purple, I don’t think I’d be feeling halcyon.

57. Dove Arising (Dove Chronicles #1) – Karen Bao
Dove Arising (Dove Chronicles #1) - Karen Bao
Thoughts: That person’s eyes freak me out so much. O_O

58. Zomburbia – Adam J. Gallardo
Zomburbia - Adam J. Gallardo
Thoughts: Haaaaaaa, tag line for the win.

59. Renegade (Elemental #3) – Antony John
Renegade (Elemental #3) - Antony John
Thoughts: These continue to be Divergenty.

60. Silverblind (Ironskin #3) – Tina Connolly
Silverblind (Ironskin #3) - Tina Connolly
Thoughts: THIS IS AWESOME. Look at her wearing practical clothing for adventuring.

61. Fragile Creatures – Kristina Circelli
Fragile Creatures - Kristina Circelli
Thoughts: Well, now I want to pet a giraffe.

62. The Source (Witching Savannah #2) – J.D. Horn
The Source (Witching Savannah #2) - J.D. Horn
Thoughts: These covers are illustrated beauteousness.

63. Blightborn (Heartland #2) – Chuck Wendig
Blightborn (Heartland #2) - Chuck Wendig
Thoughts: Look at the stone pegasi! So cute. This is a strangely blue and yellow city though. Weird color scheme to choose.

Cover Battles:

1. The Forest Bull (Fearless #1) – Terry Maggert

The Forest Bull (Fearless #1) - Terry Maggert original
The Forest Bull (Fearless #1) - Terry Maggert

Original vs. Redesign: The new cover is very True Blood season two. I think I actually like the one without the girl, because a human and an animal alone together on a cover always smacks of bestiality and no thank you.

2. Crashland (Twinmaker #2) – Sean Williams

Crashland (Twinmaker #2) - Sean Williams
Crash (Twinmaker #2) - Sean Williams

US vs. Australian: Okay, so I love the POC and the style of the US cover, but the blurriness pains my eyes and the Australian cover looks like it would be SUPER shiny in person.

3. The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #4) – Rick Riordan

The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #4) - Rick Riordan original
The Battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #4) - Rick Riordan

Original vs. Redesign: Oh look, the redesign has Sauron!

4. The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #5) – Rick Riordan

The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #5) - Rick Riordan original
The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson and the Olympians #5) - Rick Riordan

Original vs. Redesign: The pegasus always looks SO MUCH BETTER on the original covers. *hugs original cover*

5. Delusion – Laura L. Sullivan

Delusion - Laura L. Sullivan hardback
Delusion – Laura Sullivan pb

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Still not a huge fan of this cover, but this is a vast improvement. The girl on the left DOES have a sparkler on her shoulder though.

6. Searching for Sky – Jillian Cantor

Searching for Sky - Jillian Cantor take 1
Searching for Sky - Jillian Cantor

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Well, it’s definitely prettier, but, girl, YOU HAVE FOUND THE SKY. VERILY, IT IS EVERYWHERE.

WTF of the Week:

On hiatus until the publishers stop releasing so many covers. But I have some GOOD ones saved up for you.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Brutal Youth

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

Brutal Youth - Anthony Breznican

Today, welcome KK Hendin, author of Heart Breaths, who has selected Brutal Youth by Anthony Breznican. Here’s why:

“I was in private school for all of elementary and high school, so I wore a uniform for 12 years. Burning our uniforms was something we all routinely daydreamed about doing, so I’m already adding this book to my TBR just based on people carrying out my childhood fantasies for YA book covers. This looks like it has the potential of being everything I want a private school book to be about, and also, all things considered, that’s not even so bad for a uniform.”

To learn more or purchase:Goodreads|Amazon|TBD|B&N

34 responses to “Cover Snark (93): The One with Sauron and a Badass Water Dragon”

  1. So many LBD references in one post. SO MANY. *flails happily*

    The Perilous Sea is so gorgeous I just can’t even. I loved The Burning Sky but this is like so much more awesome. I can’t wait to have that one in my hands 🙂 Definitely my cover of the week!
    Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…The Keys to My Heart #5: Surprises Under the CoverMy Profile

  2. Ellis says:

    1. Hm. Least favourite of the bunch, I think, although Dare You To isn’t exactly a favourite either. I don’t know, it looks a bit like an America’s Next Top Model challenge for a jeans ad. But YES, normal clothes. Almost as important as normal names.

    2. NO. NOOOOOOOOO. AUTHOR. NO. We need to have a talk, because this is not okay, author. UGH.

    4. And here we have the America’s Next Top Model Seasons of Close-up challenge.

    5. And somehow “here” is two places. Unless “here” is being with the person you love, which barf.


    7. Some colour schemes are also meant to be broken. Or not have been executed in the first place.

    8. “Taking Nicole.” OH HELL NO. Shifter kidnapping shenanigans is not something I’m in the mood for. Ever.

    11. Yessssss, I love it.

    12. Moar yes. Except the big no that is the tagline. Otherwise yesssss. All of the yesses. Orgy of yesses reinstated.

    8. I’ve been trying to emulate The Lee-dee-aah’s whaaaaat but alas, my talents lie elsewhere.

    21. Oh man. Let me explain you a thing. Diep is the Dutch for deep and they’re totes pronounced the same so if this is a pseudonym and not her real name, lollerskates.

    22. Also, also, aren’t you happy they made a physical edition? Huh huh? I think you are.

    26. The demon babies are coming for you. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo Christina.

    35. KEEP SMIZING, zombie girl on the left. Tyra would be so proud.

    44. Whoa, Jessica is a babe. The part of her I can see is, at least. Must tell Rose that she’s a babe by proxy, because Jessica is her spirit animal.


    50. Oh fuck. Get that thing awaaaay from meeh.

    52. Oh, mantitty. Why so sad and droopy?

    53. On the one hand YAY GAY ROMANCE (probably – hopefully). On the other, um this series is still going on? Why?

    Sidenote: Man, so many covers this week. You still alive?


    61. Dafuq.

    Ellis recently posted…Review – And We StayMy Profile

    • Ellis says:

      Also, also, I’m going to start commenting on some other posts really soon, once uni calms her prammen the fuck down. SOON. PROMISE.
      Ellis recently posted…Review – And We StayMy Profile

      • Christina Franke says:

        1. Hmmmm, I don’t know which of the covers for this series I like least. The ghost makes this one a candidate, but I also hate Crash Into You, because the dude looks like he’s in his upper 30s.

        2. The pose too. They know what they’re doing and they’re proud of it.

        7. I’d say this cover scheme is to be executed. With a quick shot to the temple.

        11. Too bad. It was a leak and the new one is different.

        12. Orgy of yesses has created a weird whatever the audio equivalent of visual is in my head.

        18. I imagine being the LID E AHHHHHH would be hard with a Belgian accent.

        22. Are they worth reading?

        44. Well, I don’t think that Marcus would be into a non-babe. lol.

  3. I have to say, Lark Rising, The Perilous Sea and Famous Last Words were probably my favourite of this weeks, and while I did like a lot of them, they were the best ones for me. I can not get over some of your comments though, always perfectly snarky 🙂
    Amanda @ Book Badger recently posted…Who Wore It Better #4 – Unravel MeMy Profile

  4. 1. Yes, I like that they look as teens, but these covers don’t to a thing for me.
    3. That is pretty, I approve 😀 (And for fans of Juliet Marillier? I’m all in!)
    4. I don’t like the cover, but that blurb! Awesome.
    7. Oh my o.O That’s not good..
    12. I haven’t read the first book yet, but *grabby hands*
    15. I like that it screams ‘fairy tales’ but looks dark and mysterious at the same time.
    22. I completely forgot about this bundle *happy dance* It’s pretty.
    25. Adorable 😀
    27. I liked the first thing I saw, but then I scrolled and saw the title.. What is that for horrible font?
    28. Pretty colors!
    30. Oohhh, it’s a pillow? Right, looks weird..
    32. Cool, I like it.
    34. I really like the title font.
    35. It’s one of the few covers where I see them actually kissing, not mouths-almost-touching. Very inappropriate timing though.
    36. Pretty, pretty, pretty, especially the flowers.
    39. Haha, like the pun.
    40. Tease? More like ‘she’s not that into you.’
    48. I WANT ALL THE BOOKS. I would go and live there.
    50. Wow, yes, that girl is creepy 😐
    58. Interesting title.
    60. I really appreciate the covers from this series!

    Cover battle:
    1. I think both of them are okay.
    5. The hair from the girl on the right side looks so fake.
    6. MUCH better. Redesign for the win.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 236. Cayla Kluver – The Queen’s choice.My Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. I like some of the title treatments, but that’s about it.

      3. Hahaha, I saw that and added it too, even though I’ve not actually read Marillier. Sounds like total Christina-bait, though.

      27. I don’t knowwwwww. Harper’s usually so good at this, and that’s just awful.

      30. It is indeed a pillow, at least I think, but it looks like it would be made out of shiny silver plastic.

      35. Though many book and movie couples think this is the perfect time to make out.

      40. But he’s into her…. BA DUM TISH.

  5. This one was great because there a few covers I genuinely loved! Brutal Youth is gorgeous because the cover just feels so clean. I love the clarity of the image and the crispness of the font.

    The Line That Breaks is my type of cover, but the blur is SO WEIRD. On the left of the centre there is this really clear part, and the rest is blurry. It’s almost instagram level effects, and I don’t understand why the focus is set up so strangely.

    When The Sun Goes Down and Schizo are so pretty! I love them both. The first is one of my favourite shots to photograph, and I love the artpoppy-ish ness of Schizo.

    The Source is a work of art. Wow.

    What I kind of took from this week is that giraffe cover is strange and I want to pet one too!
    P.E. @ The Sirenic Codex recently posted…Review: Hyperbole and a HalfMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      That’s great! I’m always sad on the weeks where no one loves everything. It’s nice when the snark and puns are cut with happy comments about prettiness, but sometimes we’re all just like “NO REALLY WHY. WAS EVERYONE JOKING THIS WEEK?”

      I rarely understand blur effects to be honest. They’re nice from a distance, but, up close, like when you’re holding a book, they pain my eyes.

      Schizo makes my eyes unhappy (I’m not really into artpop), but I really like When the Sky Goes Down.

  6. Kayla Beck says:

    2. She looks like she’s tied up. Ick.

    3. Yet another book on the ol’ TBR. *sigh*

    5. Nowhere but here? Ha! It looks like they snog EVERYWHERE!

    11. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *flails* I should have been here first thing this morning like always!

    12. Very cool! The tagline should’ve been: “Water dragon. That is all.”

    15. Yes, please.

    31. I think I like it except for the tagline.

    50. I’m sleeping on the floor tonight.

    62. *dances around* I cannot WAIT for this book!

    CB5. Maybe if they got the one girl to stop with the duck face?
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Blog Tour (Review & Guest Post): The 57 Lives of Alex Wayfare by M.G. BuehrlenMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      2. She does. Everything about this makes me uncomfortable.

      3. KAYLA BAIT.

      11. Yeah, the author asked me to take it down, because it was leaked. The final cover is revealed today, though I’ve already seen it because pubs are super awesome at not leaking things. >.>

      12. Publishers should hire you to write taglines.

      50. But you’re CLOSER to her on the floor.

      CB5. She’s totally a lip purser. But honestly, I just don’t like their faces or their costumes. It all needs to be scrapped. JUST NOTICED THAT THE HAND POSITION SORT OF MAKES IT LOOK LIKE THE GIRL ON THE LEFT IS PINCHING THE NIPPLE OF THE GIRL ON THE RIGHT.

  7. 4. AGREED Elsa is THE ice queen

    5. The top one kind of reminds me of the One Day movie poster because of the effect and the post.

    6. Obviously the wings are there because they will fabulously attach themselves to the cover model and fly her off to a forest with a moon that has trees printed on it!

    8. I literally feel like the C in “Taking Nicole” is a huge stomach ring from his belly button to the top of his abs.

    16. HAHAHAHAHA those puns were purfect, I can’t even begin to clawpliment you on those.

    18. Ugh her hair makes me want to shrivel up and die in a hole.

    19. Really love the artwork, but how does she even stand like that??

    30. Wait curly hair ends, squiggly thing, fluffy pillow?

    33. The gift of a good start is in the gift of organized lockers and large lockers

    36. I love the watercolor of Amanda Sun’s books. So much!

    42. Loving that cover, as well, but the font’s kind of weird to me (maybe just because there’s only one word per line)

    50. It’s like those tumblr photo collages that start off with a pretty picture of a sky and slowly darkens as you scroll down and at the very bottom there’s a picture of a zombie or something equally scary! *has nightmares*

    58. *has more nightmares because scary, really detailed zombie*
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    • Christina Franke says:

      8. Bahahahaha.


      30. The squiggly bit is an ampersand. I’m guessing Althea is the hair and Oliver is the pillow. It’s the love story of a girl and her pillow.

      50. I’ve missed that, but I think that’s okay. lol.

  8. 2. Yeah, it was. And I bet there will be 5 more NA books with this title.

    7. Yeah, the colors here just clash SO BADLY.

    12. That is a badass cover. I kind of get why they redid the first one now. This matches better with that.

    13. They do look better in person, but I think I like this color the least. Which is odd because green is my favorite color of the three.

    32. Yes, I like this. I really want this book too. Very cool font treatment.

    36. LOL they kind of do. Don’t like this as much as the first cover.

    42. Yes, I love this! Love the colors AND the font.

    46. LOL oh god. I want to read this but it’s going to be another Hush, Hush, isn’t it?

    48. ME TOO. I WANT THIS.

    62. OOOOOH. I think that might be my favorite cover of the week. I just LOVE the illustrations on this series!
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    • Christina Franke says:

      12. Yeah, I get it to, but they still could have done better than fire chicken.

      46. Yeah, I mean, I would potentially read more Becca Fitzpatrick, because her writing wasn’t terrible, but DAMN NO.

      62. I’m impressed with the covers for this series, but I don’t love them for some reason. IDK why.

  9. I can’t stop looking at the water dragon!!! Now I’m going to have to finally read my copy of The Burning Sky so I can justify buying the The Perilous Sea when it comes out.

    When the Sun Goes Down: Oohhh pretty cover! *checks goodreads synopsis* Ehhhh sounds overly cliche and goopy-drama.

    Famous Last Words: I’m going to need some salt and a devil trap. GAHHH

    Ohhh definitely going to splurge and somehow get my hands on the Australian versions of Twinmaker.

    Still cracking up over Looking for Sky xD
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  10. Damn #52. I am quite literally rolling on the floor laughing. I swear, you are the snarkiest of them all, Christina.
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  11. 3. How did you miss the bug? IT’S RIGHT THERE.
    5. Understandable, really. I would definitely trade in my wardrobe if I saw that stubble in real life.
    7. How can vows be destined to do things?
    8. I approve of your plot idea/twist. A+.
    12. I LOVE IT. I’m feeling ATLA feels!
    16. Are you sure you didn’t come up with this punny title? It’s very you.
    25. IT FINALLY HAS A COVER! And I’m a little disappointed that it’s not featuring Colin O’Donaghue.
    32. WANT. RIGHT NOW.
    38. Hahaha. Or LOST. Walt’s finally fighting that polar bear.
    43. I lol’d.
    48. *gasp*
    61. I’m adding a giraffe to my Christmas list.
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  12. Gillian says:


    3. Oooh, I LOVE THIS

    4. Yeah that is quite ToG esque.


    12. It is so pretty must have it so gorgeous fucking water dragon so epic I die the font the dragon the colors GIVE ITTTT

    16. Your puns give me great clawse to celebrate. Categorically speaking.

    17. Hahahahaha

    18. It’s… not really red. Come on, guys.

    20. Yeah, that splitting words thing is super annoying, but the cover is AMAZZZZZING.

    27. That font is terrible.

    29. I kind of hate this cover and that font. Not gonna lie. Also hiiii Mount Doom

    31. Yeah, Ravencliffe was super hard to read. Blythewood was easier.

    36. Everything is super pretty except for the derpy faces with their lazy eyes and smushy noses. No likey.

    39. *tries to think of key pun but brain is coffee surprised to yep, pretend I did that*


    43. “If she finds another broke girl, she can have a TV show.” HAHAHAHAHA!

    44. So cute.

    47. Aristocats ftw!


    50. I love this cover but it is creepy as shit.

    51. Manbreasts.

    52. Extra manbreasts.

    53. BOYS HUGGING YAY. Also yeah, don’t repeat yourself, cover. Don’t repeat yourself, cover.

    61. “A story of love and loss” IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THAT GIRAFFE I SWEAR

    62. These covers are SUBLIME.

    I really dislike those models on the Delusion cover. They look smug and annoying.
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  13. Angie F. says:

    4. This totally reminded me of the silver mascara phase I went through in high school.

    12. I like this! I suppose I need to read the first book now.

    19. I’m kind of a sucker for space covers, but I didn’t like the first book! What to do…

    50. Oh crap! Did not see her there!

    53. This needs to hurry up! I pretty much dislike everyone in this series except for Seth and Greyson!

    61. Aaawww!!!!

    1. Redesign, because I’m still a sucker for girls in dresses.

    2. I like both, but US.

    5. Paperback because of the top hat.
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  14. kara-karina says:

    So many new shinies, Christina! 🙂 Love The Source and Lark Rising. Desire is supposed to be about the guy who is connected to crows. Nothing angelic there, so I’m confused by the stupid wings 🙁
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  15. Meg says:

    1. It’d be even cooler if the guy was in the normal clothes and the girl was all suited up to beat the crap out of that punching bag after their quick, sensitive make out session. But, alas. (I just like when girls do the violence, okay?)


    3. What bug? There’s no bug.

    4. Her eyelashes look like tiny facial stabbing devices. Or rakes. Which makes no sense.

    12. I didn’t even realize there was a tagline until you mentioned it because WATER DRAGON.

    15. I assumed she was stumbling blindly through the woods with her arms up to ward off inconvenient branches thinking ‘oh no, I’m so lost and omg this fluttery dress is the WORST in this forest of thistle-like things. IF SOMEONE HAD JUST TOLD ME WE WERE GOING HIKING I WOULD’VE STAYED HOME.’


    21.The jewel motif always irritated me. I wish they’d just scrapped it and made the type super cool. Or something else that conveys the epicness of this series.

    28. There’s this killer firefly sort of thing happening on Teen Wolf, so this cover is actually kind of freaky for me. RUN CHILDREN, THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU!

    31. While I appreciate that they’re trying to do something creative and neat with the title, you can’t stack a word that long, it’s just stressful for your eyeballs and brain.


    38. I miss Iorek Byrnison.

    39. Hahaha I see what you did there.

    40. “This guy, ammonite?”

    44. I think I still have that exact jacket somewhere.




    58. I really need to read these.

    61. No. I don’t know exactly what repels me, but no.

    62. FAVORITE
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  16. 2. NO. NO. NO. *kills with fire*

    8. Where is he taking her? Nowhere classy, not without a shirt. Maybe to the zoo? I like the zoo.

    9. Ooh! FIIIYAAAAH!

    10. Yawn.

    11. Wait, didn’t Amy Zhang have a cover reveal for another book last week? Or was that someone else?

    17. NOT thrilled with this cover, but the synopsis sounds pretty good.

    28. Fatal tree? Is it going to fall on them?


    31. But wow is that background pretty.

    36. Why are her lips so big?

    41. I think that’s supposed to be water splashing. I stress the “supposed to be.”

    47. Hee hee. Now I hear Edgar in my head. “Aaaaall the way to Timbuktu.”

    50. *curls toes up on couch*

    52. Yyyyyyeah, if I were cursed in love, that’s who I’d get. 🙁

    54. This could be really cool or reeeeeally offensive.

    60. Dude. This is enough to tempt me to actually read the series just to find out where she’s adventuring and why.

    CB6. I don’t even care here because NEW JILLIAN CANTOR WOOHOO!
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  17. Anya says:

    I feel like I need to say this every week: I adore this post so much! It’s so helpful for finding new books that will be coming out and seeing the covers released for books I’m excited for, such as Silverblind!!!

    Also I think the Jay Lake Christian-looking book is because he recently passed and it is his last collection of stories? Perhaps?

    And now I must go vote in the polls since I actually have opinions this time!
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  18. Denai says:

    1. As if this one doesn’t make you start singing A-ha?
    2. This title makes me think the book is a 50 shades of grey-esque rape novel.
    6. The cover and winged of makes me think christian novel.
    54. This cover is so freaky and headache inducing, I love it!
    CB 2. Seeing as the author is Australian, Australian cover all the way! Rural South Australians represent!

  19. Annie says:

    31. It doesn’t help that all the horizontal extensions of the letters make my eyes want to go the wrong direction when the words are vertical.

    12. So, so, so pretty! The water dragon is AMAZING.

    Also, I love your commentary because at least twice I wouldn’t have even noticed something on the cover if you didn’t mention it (like 50 with the girl underneath the bed. freaky)

    41. I think that’s supposed to be water droplets splashing up from where he’s walking. odd.
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