Cover Snark (91): In Which Harper Tries to Kill Me by Releasing All the Covers

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. Knight Assassin – Rima Jean
Knight Assassin - Rima Jean
Thoughts: Ew to anything about soulmates by destiny. Taking the choice out of love = not romantic.

2. Fifty First Times: A New Adult Anthology
Fifty First Times
Thoughts: Why do I have a feeling all fifty first times are had by the girl in the story? Or maybe there are 35 stories because some of them were a mutual first time. Please please please not fifty virginal ladies having their first time with experienced bad boys.

3. Misty Falls – Joss Stirling
Misty Falls - Joss Stirling
Thoughts: Misty does start with M. Mmmmmm, cover.

4. A Million Ways Home – Dianna Dorisi Winget
A Million Ways Home - Dianna Dorisi Winget
Thoughts: Luggage was so much cooler and more stackable back in the day. But I will take my rolly bag any day because lazy. Poor German Shepherd is concerned. Dog knows what this means.

5. The Blasted Lands (Seven Forges #2) – James A. Moore
The Blasted Lands - James A. Moore
Thoughts: Dear sir, there is a skull on your skull. Just thought you should know.

6. Famous in Love – Rebecca Serle
Famous in Love - Rebecca Serle
Thoughts: They sure worked hard on this one. It looks like it should be for a Lauren Conrad book.

7. Inland – Kat Rosenfield
Inland - Kat Rosenfield
Thoughts: I hope they got the flooding insurance.

8. In a Handful of Dust (Not a Drop to Drink #2) – Mindy McGinnis
In a Handful of Dust - Mindy McGinnis
Thoughts: Authors with covers coming, you must talk with Mindy McGinnis and discover which gods to make sacrifices to for a good cover. She obviously knows.

9. Tied with Me (With Me in Seattle #6) – Kristen Proby
Tied with Me (With Me in Seattle #6) - Kristen Proby
Thoughts: Actually, dear, you’re tied with yourself.

10. The Prince of Punk Rock (Radical Rock Stars #1) – Jenna Galicki
The Prince of Punk Rock (Radical Rock Stars #1) - Jenna Galicki
Thoughts: Bonus points for the bisexual nature of this cover. Minus points for everything else. Also, do we think his stomach tattoo says immortal something or immoral something?

11. Evolution: ANGEL – S.A. Huchton
Evolution ANGEL - S.A. Huchton
Thoughts: If the definition of ANGEL includes the word “Evolution” then Evolution: ANGEL is exceedingly redundant.

12. Gentlemen Prefer Curves (Perfect Fit #3) – Sugar Jamison
Gentlemen Prefer Curves - Sugar Jamison
Thoughts: She needs to worry less about her hair and more about the Marilyn Monroe her dress is about to do. Never wear loose skirts on windy days. I have learned this the hard way.

13. The Dark World (Dark World #1) – Cara Lynn Shultz
The Dark World - Cara Lynn Shultz
Thoughts: THE BACK OF HER HEAD IS A CITY. I wonder how the Whos don’t fall out of Whoville. Maybe gravity is different on her head.

14. Deenie – Judy Blume
Deenie - Judy Blume
Thoughts: “Special can be scary”? What the eff is this about? Well, I’m curious and also pretty shirt. So I suppose I like this modernized redesign.

15. Tiger Eyes – Judy Blume
Tiger Eyes - Judy Blume
Thoughts: HAKUNA MATATA.

16. Killer Instinct (The Naturals #2) – Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Killer Instinct (Naturals #2) - Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Thoughts: Shooting a playing card at a shooting range requires much accuracy, I imagine.

17. Weather Child (The Awakened #1) – Philippa Ballantine
Weather Child - Philipa Ballantine
Thoughts: That font says HIPPIE child.

18. Love Gone Wild – Amy Matayo
Love Gone Wild - Amy Matayo
Thoughts: Just look at them sitting there calmly and not even touching. SO WILD.

19. Path of Smoke (Parallel Parks #2) – Bailey Cunningham
Path of Smoke (Parallel Parks #2) - Bailey Cunningham
Thoughts: Pretty sure he turned that animal horn into a bong.

20. Under the Final Moon (Underworld Detection Agency #6) – Hannah Jayne
Under the Final Moon (Underworld Detection Agency #6) - Hannah Jayne
Thoughts: Okay, that bustier thing is awesome. I’m side-eyeing that tagline though.

21. Marrying Ember (November Blue #3.5) – Andrea Randall
Marrying Ember - Andrea Randall
Thoughts: SCRABBLE. Otherwise this is boring, but they had me at SCRABBLE.

22. Tithe of the Saviours (Chronicles of a Cosmic Warlord #3) – A J Dalton
Tithe of the Saviours (Chronicles of a Cosmic Warlord #3) - A J Dalton
Thoughts: Ooooooh. Look at that little dude taking on Ursula. Poor unfortunate soul.

23. Scratch – Rhonda Helms
Scratch - Rhonda Helms
Thoughts: Below the surface of the record is the record player. AND? is the money there instead of in the banana stand?

24. Snake in the Grass (Good Gods #2) – Staci Hart
Snake in the Grass (Good Gods #2) - Staci Hart
Thoughts: There’s a tiny woman in some grass about to be eaten by a large snake. But the tiny woman is playing with even tinier people. WUT.

25. What the Heart Wants (Good Gods #2.5) – Staci Hart
What the Heart Wants (Good Gods #2.5) - Staci Hart
Thoughts: Did a dragon just hatch out of someone’s heart? That’s pretty cool. Imagine: Girl is cruelly dumped by boyfriend. Her heart breaks as a baby dragon comes out and eats him. She is not harmed because Targaryen magic.

26. The Ninth Circle – Brendan Deneen
The Ninth Circle - Brendan Denee
Thoughts: Dante reference plus some sort of headless carnie. This promises to be creepy.

27. Otherwise Engaged (Ladies of Lantern Street #3) – Amanda Quick
Otherwise Engaged - Amanda Quick
Thoughts: At first glance, typical romance cover. At second glance, I THINK SHE IS OTHERWISE ENGAGED IN MURDERING FOLK WITH HER BADASS FAN. Awesome.

28. Kiss Kill Vanish – Jessica Martinez
Kiss Kill Vanish - Jessica Martinez
Thoughts: Suddenly I feel a strong need to watch the Fidelity video again. It’s kind of like an Apple commercial too, but I like.

29. Salty – K.S. Thomas
Salty - K.S. Thomas
Thoughts: Mmm, salty kisses. “I’ve always wanted making out to taste like the ocean.” – said no one ever.

30. Dead Girl Walking (Royal Reaper #1) – Ruth Silver
Dead Girl Walking (Royal Reaper #1) - Ruth Silver
Thoughts: Even more interesting, dead girl is walking on water maybe? Also, did she die on prom night? Or is this what she chose to wear for eternity? Though, honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that I might get put in a mental institution, I would wear fancy dresses to everything.

31. Rise of the Tide (The Lost Kingdom of Fallada #3) – Alicia Michaels
Rise of the Tide (The Lost Kingdom of Fallada #3) - Alicia Michaels
Thoughts: That’s totally how I swim.

32. Rooms – Lauren Oliver
Rooms - Lauren Oliver
Thoughts: Why are trees going out of this room? I’m assuming that’s a room with vertical blinds, but I don’t really know. I like the color scheme a lot though. Not that you could tell by how reminiscent it is to my blog colors or anything.

33. Resisting Ryann (Bad Boy Reformed #2) – Alyssa Rae Taylor
Resisting Ryann - Alyssa Rae Taylor
Thoughts: Could this possibly sound more rapey? She doesn’t want him but she’s going to have to resist his advances. It’s okay though. I’m sure she’ll realize she wants it eventually. UM NO.

34. Anomaly (Schrodinger’s Consortium #1) – Tonya Kuper
Anomaly - Tonya Kuper
Thoughts: Someday, someone will name their YA heroine Anomalie. Like Amalie + Anomaly. Calling it. Um, right, this cover. LIGHTNING HEAD. I feel like her odds of getting any action are diminished by that.

35. Get Even (Don’t Get Mad #1) – Gretchen McNeil
Get Even - Gretchen McNeil
Thoughts: It weirds me out that they’re all precisely the same height. I also am disappointed that the went with the most obvious tagline. Why even bother? That’s implied.

36. Behind Closed Doors – Tamara Lee
Behind Closed Doors - Tamara Lee
Thoughts: It’s only polite to play Rockband behind closed doors.

37. The Hazards of a One Night (Hazards #2) – Alyssa Rose Ivy
The Hazards of a One Night - Alyssa Rose Ivy
Thoughts: I’m guessing the hazards include STDs and finding straw EVERYWHERE.

38. A Different Kind – Lauryn April
A Different Kind - Lauryn April
Thoughts: It looks like a girl was out clubbing, but then was transported by aliens to Jurassic Park. T-Rex is about to come busting through that fence.

39. Falling – E. Van Lowe
Falling - E. Van Lowe
Thoughts: This book wants SO badly to be Everneath.

40. Remember Me (Find Me #2) – Romily Bernard
Remember Me (Find Me #2) - Romily Bernard
Thoughts: Oh wow. That puts the first one to shame. Holy cow.

41. The Dolls – Kiki Sullivan
The Dolls - Kiki Sullivan
Thoughts: Boys want pink snake heels. Girls want to BE pink snake heels. Someone wants to kill the pink snake heels. This probably looked AWESOME after the designers finished off that bottle of snake juice. The night of designing. The morning after.

42. This Is How It Ends – Jen Nadol
This Is How It Ends - Jen Nadol
Thoughts: It ends with snuggling on some ugly sheets.

43. Take Me to Your Reader: An Otherworld Anthology
Take Me to Your Reader
Thoughts: Ahahahaha, puntastic. Boringbad cover. But the title wins.

44. Reluctantly Royal (Suddenly #3) – Nichole Chase
Reluctantly Royal (Suddenly #3) - Nichole Chase
Thoughts: Enthusiastically Douchey.

45. Unraveled (Crewel World #3) – Gennifer Albin
Unraveled (Crewel World #3) - Gennifer Albin
Thoughts: So as this chick disintegrates to the bottom half, she becomes an ugly city with scary moths. That’s interesting.

46. The Terror of the Southlands (The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #2) – Caroline Carlson
The Terror of the Southlands (The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #2) - Caroline Carlson
Thoughts: Seems like that castle must have been tricky to build up there.

47. You’ll Think of Me – Lucia Franco
You’ll Think of Me - Lucia Franco
Thoughts: Yes, you passed out on a bed is so fascinating I will remember this cover forever. Oh wait.

48. Deliverance (Defiance #3) – C.J. Redwine
Deliverance (Defiance #3) - C.J. Redwine
Thoughts: As Gillian (Writer of Wrongs) said to me, “She has a bridge vagina.”

49. Kiss of Broken Glass – Madeleine Kuderick
Kiss of Broken Glass - Madeleine Kuderick
Thoughts: I politely decline this kiss. This also looks like an Ellen Hopkins cover.

50. Rebellion (Tankborn #3) – Karen Sandler
Rebellion (Tankborn #3) - Karen Sandler
Thoughts: Well, she’s absurdly pretty. And she is rocking that facial tattoo.

51. The Graveyard Book, Volume 1 – Neil Gaiman
The Graveyard Book, Volume 1 - Neil Gaiman
Thoughts: Graphic novel adaptations. Sigh. I am super amused by the guy with top hat and cane sitting on top of the fence thing. But super creeped out by Mr. Cape-and-only-cape Man.

52. Undivided (Unwind #4) – Neal Shusterman
Undivided (Unwind #4) - Neal Shusterman
Thoughts: No, Lady Liberty, you cannot go to the bathroom, you already went. Put your hand down in class. We have talked about this. Also, no torches.

53. The Doubt Factory – Paolo Bacigalupi
The Doubt Factory by Paolo Bacigalupi
Thoughts: Another fucking eye cover. At least it’s a bit Clockwork Orange, but OY STAHP.

54. The Boy I Love – Nina de Gramont
The Boy I Love by Nina de Gramont
Thoughts: The boy she loves is hot like FIYAH.

55. Seduction – (Legacy #3) Molly Cochran
Seduction - (Legacy #3) Molly Cochran
Thoughts: OH LUMIERE.

56. The Last Letter from You Lover – Jojo Moyes
The Last Letter from Your Lover - Jojo Moyes
Thoughts: Something about this just screams Etiquette book for housewives in the 50s.

57. Eternal (Shadow Falls: After Dark #2) – C.C. Hunter
Eternal (Shadow Falls After Dark #2) - C.C. Hunter
Thoughts: DON’T LOOK AT ME.

58. The Crystal Heart – Sophie Masson
The Crystal Heart - Sophie Masson
Thoughts: Don’t get too excited about this sweet Rapunzel-looking book, because this is an Australian cover. Well, unless you are Australian. Then you can rejoice safely (as long as you watch out for poisonous spiders).

59. The Alias Men (Double Vision #2) – F.T. Bradley
The Alias Men (Double Vision #) - F.T. Bradley
Thoughts: ORANGE. And the face that kid is making.

60. Fractured Truth (Fractured Light #3) – Rachel McClellan
Fractured Truth (Fractured Light #3) - Rachel McClellan
Thoughts: Kill that font. Kill it dead. Maybe use that fake-ass lightning so that they’ll both die at the same time.

61. The Rogue Knight (Five Kingdoms #1) – Brandon Mull
The Rogue Knight (The Five Kingdoms #1) - Brandon Mull
Thoughts: That kid has a fire saber, but that’s still less cool than a lightsaber.

62. Perfect Couple (The Superlatives #2) – Jennifer Echols
Perfect Couple (The Superlatives #2) - Jennifer Echols
Thoughts: The votes are changing everything? Does that mean there will be a surprise upset?

63. Confessions: The Paris Mysteries – James Patterson & Maxine Paetro
The Paris Mysteries (Confessions #2) - James Patterson & Maxine Paetro
Thoughts: Wants to be as cool as Veronica Mars. Fails.

64. A Grimm Warning (The Land of Stories #3) – Chris Colfer
A Grimm Warning (The Land of Stories #3) - Chris Colfer
Thoughts: Creepiest thing this week might go to the dude in the bottom left, who looks like a mashup between that one Batman villain and the Scarecrow. Do not like.

65. Echoes of Us (What’s Left of Me #3) – Kat Zhang
Echoes of Us (What's Left of Me #3) - Kat Zhang
Thoughts: Face within a face. Yesssss. Not loving the purple and yellow color scheme however.

66. The Jewel – Amy Ewing
The Jewel - Amy Ewing
Thoughts: This looks so much like a Selection spin-off. And, damn it, it’s working.

67. Sanctum (Asylum #2) – Madeleine Roux
Sanctum (Asylum #2) - Madeleine Roux
Thoughts: These covers are so blatantly going for the Ransom Riggs look. It’s a good look, though, I’ll admit.

68. Snow Like Ashes – Sara Raasch
Snow Like Ashes - Sara Raasch
Thoughts: THE SNOW IS DIVERGENT.

69. Porcelain Keys – Sarah Beard
Porcelain Keys - Sarah Beard
Thoughts: I’ll take the Phantom of the Opera for 300, Alex.

70. Top Ten Clues You’re Clueless – Liz Czukas
Top Ten Clues You're Clueless - Liz Czukas
Thoughts: I feel like the first clue is the bow on her head. It’s very Minnie Mouse.

71. Graduation Day (The Testing #3) – Joelle Charbonneau
Graduation Day (The Testing #3) - Joelle Charbonneau
Thoughts: The Final Test Is the Purplest.

72. Unspeakable – Caroline Pignat
Unspeakable - Caroline Pignat
Thoughts: A girl in a prom dress in fetal position underwater. Right. This happens all too often on book covers.

73. Blackbird (Blackbird Duology #1) – Anna Carey
Blackbird - Anna Carey
Thoughts: Blackbird singing in the dead of niiiight. AHEM. Intriguing tagline. Boring girl with hair photo.

74. Priestess Dreaming (Otherworld #16) – Yasmine Galenorn
Priestess Dreaming (Otherworld #) - Yasmine Galenorn
Thoughts: SHE WIELDS THE POWER OF PURPLE IN HER DREAMS.

Cover Battles:

1. Dreams of Gods and Monsters (Daughter of Smoke and Bone #3) – Laini Taylor

Dreams of Gods and Monsters
Dreams of Gods and Monsters (Daughter of Smoke and Bone #3) - Laini Taylor

US vs. UK: Dreams of Hitchcock’s The Birds. I will stick with the cover designed by Hannibal Lecter, thanks.

2. Rapture Practice – Aaron Hartzler

Rapture Practice - Aaron Hartzler hb
Rapture Practice - Aaron Hartzler

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Fuck ties. Also, YES, redesign. YES.

3. Sacrifice (Elemental #5) – Brigid Kemmerer

Sacrifice - Brigid Kemmerer Aus
Sacrifice - Brigid Kemmerer US

Australian vs. US: Do I want two faces and a terrible color combination or one face with a totally unbelievable background? How does one choose?

4. Dizzy – Nyrae Dawn and Jolene Perry

Dizzy
Dizzy - Nyrae Dawn and Jolene Perry

Original vs. Redesign: I say this in full awareness that I don’t care in real life, but ALL I CAN SEE IS BRA STRAPS. But it’s now a hundred percent more new adult looking.

5. Landline – Rainbow Rowell

Landline - Rainbow Rowell US cover
Landline - Rainbow Rowell

US vs. UK: The UK went even more old school on the technology. I am digging their color scheme compared to the gray and yellow.

6. Angelfall (Penryn & the End of Days #1) – Susan Ee

Angelfall - Susan Ee
Angelfall (Penryn & the End of Days #1) - Susan Ee

US vs. Italian: Oooh, the Italian cover is cool, but it makes me think of a grungy Peter Pan more so than Angelfall.

7. How to Fall (Jess Tennant #1) – Jane Casey

How to Fall (Jess Tennant #1) - Jane Casey UK
How to Fall (Jess Tennant #1) - Jane Casey

UK vs. US: For my part, I’ll almost always take the non-taglined version, and I think the US version brought out better colors in the same photo.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week will be back on a week that does not have THIS MANY COVERS. But I am saving them up, don’t you worry.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

In a Handful of Dust

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

In a Handful of Dust - Mindy McGinnis

Today, welcome Gaby (Queen Ella Bee Reads), our benevolent monarch, who has selected In a Handful of Dust by Mindy McGinnis. Here’s why:

“A lot of covers put up a good fight this week (notables: Kiss Kill Vanish, Remember Me, Echoes of Us, Snow Like Ashes – y’know, like, all of the Harper titles) but Christina is right: Mindy McGinnis is a strict and devout worshipper of the cover gods and it has clearly paid off. I purchased the first book in this series (it’s totally still sitting on my shelf unread) and I’m sure I’ll eventually have to buy this one too, regardless of my thoughts on the actual story (when I get around to it) because OH MY GOD LOOK AT THOSE COLORS I WANT TO MARRY THEM (and so I will, okay mom?). Good luck picking a favorite this week, guys, it’s a toughie.”

To learn more or purchase:Goodreads|Amazon|TBD|B&N

22 responses to “Cover Snark (91): In Which Harper Tries to Kill Me by Releasing All the Covers”

  1. I feel really guilty about how badly I want The Jewel. Goddammit, the sparkly covers always get me ;_____; I will wait for other opinions first though. Snow Like Ashes is also STUNNING. asdfjkl; Please be good.

    I’m loving Top Ten Clues You’re Clueless omgggg I was so a girl with that kind of mickey mouse bow in her hair. It totally makes me want physical copies of both her books.

    Landline’s UK cover is MUCH better, but still the premise of that one doesn’t appeal to me. Ugh marriage in trouble. Booo. Oh well, I still have two other RR books to read.

    I’m totally a bigger fan of the UK cover of the Daughter of Smoke and Bone series, but PARTICULARLY for the third one. I have no idea what happened to the US one there but DOES NOT WANT. *hugs her UK copies* *plays the black sheep theme song*
    Debby (Snuggly Oranges) recently posted…Book Review: Jenna & Jonah’s Fauxmance by Emily Franklin and Brendan HalpinMy Profile

  2. Annie says:

    45 is easily my favorite cover of the series.

    65 – these books always have such simple but interesting covers.

    66 – yes, totally looks like a Selection novel and I unreasonably want to read it.

    68 – very amused by the Divergent comment.
    Annie recently posted…Power PlaysMy Profile

  3. Lynn says:

    “Deenie” by Judy Blume is about a girl who has scoliosis. A YA classic. The curve of the strand of hair hanging down her back is very telling.

  4. 2. This cover is so boring! & I absolutely agree – it better not be 50 first times for the ladies only.

    3. I kind of like this! Simple but still eye-catching.

    4. I like the pops of colours! Aww and the dog <3

    6. ACK! something about the lights/heart hurts my eyes and it also is a really bad heart…

    7. I love everything about this cover. Can't pinpoint why, I just do!

    10. This is pretty WTF worthy. 0.O But yay for some diversity in depictions of sexuality.

    14 & 15. Aesthetically I like the new Judy Blume covers, but part of me is nostalgic for the ones I grew up on. Also these covers read a bit older than the audience for the books.

    16. OK I read The Naturals and I don't remember it at alllllll being a series?!?! I do like the consistency with the covers though.

    17. This reminds me when the girl (Katie, I think) opens the hexed gift in HP & the Prisoner of Azkaban…

    21. CUTE!

    23. Blah very boring.

    24 & 25. I don't understand these AT ALL but I like the style, haha.

    32. Oooh this is different! I like it.

    35. THIS!! You pinpointed what was bothering me about this cover – the heights. I couldn't put a finger on it!

    39. Backwards necklace thing??

    40. Love how they do these covers!!

    41. This one just makes me laugh. Do not like.

    42. Hmm. That font makes me think of octopi and being underwater.

    49. This is pretty striking. It is very Hopkins-like though. But not a bad thing, maybe.

    65. This one freaks me out because the eye is where the mouth is. Yikes!
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  5. MINDY’S COVER FTW!
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  6. Dahlia Adler says:

    For real, Mindy McGinnis’ designer gives seriously good cover. Also freaking love SNOW LIKE ASHES’ and KISS KILL VANISH’s. And I’m not a personal fan of the “chopped-off head” style of cover, but I love the way Liz Czukas’ covers have totally become her adorable brand already. I dig it.
    Dahlia Adler recently posted…More Things on the Internet That Are AwesomeMy Profile

  7. 2. There’s so little effort in this cover that it makes me cry.

    4. PUPPY! *snuggles*

    5. Now that’s a badass hat to inspire fear in the masses!

    6. Much effort. Such boring. Yes.

    *is shot for going doge on all of us*

    8. I think it’s the sister goddess to the god that gets people into Amazon Vine.

    12. her figure is fantabulous and I love it.

    13. Brushing her hair in the morning must be a real pain in the ass.

    20. I’d say I want her bustier/shirt, but my boobs would break it. 🙁

    26. This cover is making me sing Panic! At the Disco music to myself WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY fuck it the music is fun.

    28. Soooooooooo did the person ordered shot get shot and bleed out rainbow dust splatters? Did she throw a ball of rainbow dust like a smoke bomb so she could vanish? I NEED TO KNOW WHY THE RAINBOW DUST IS THERE.

    31. Ridiculous pose, but yay POC mermaid!

    33. He looks like someone I’d see on a Wanted poster for rape and assault.

    35. The cover reminds me a lot of Ten, except not horror.

    37. Is it just me or do most of the characters on her covers encounter such hazards as sand and straw in places sand and straw should not be?

    39. As long as the dress doesn’t come to me on fire, I’ll wear it.

    40. PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Also, I need this book. On Edelweiss soon yes plz.

    41. I bet whoever had to bedazzle that snake (let’s pretend a real person had to hold the snake and do it) had fuuuuuuuuuuun.

    45. I love her pose because she’s side-eyeing whatever is on her left. IMAGINE HOW IT WILL LOOK WHEN IT’S FACE-OUT ON A BOOKSHELF. It will be gorgeoussssssssssss.

    48. Well, of course her vagina is a bridge! The vagina is the bridge from outside a lady to inside her for the sperm. 😀 (My Human Sexuality class is both good and awful about me.)

    49. Booooooring.

    50. Can I be her best friend? I like her!

    57. MOTHERFUCKING WHITEWASHING.

    62. It will probably break up a couple because that’s Jennifer Echols style. Also, selfie city!

    65. It irritates me the silhouette is the one from the first cover flipped with more of the girl shown beneath in a different cover scheme, but I like it!

    66. Quite pretty, but not quite pretty enough to tempt me. I’ll just take her dress and leave her naked inside that jewel.

    68. *side-eyes* My gut says strong possibility of Defy 2.0 and that means noooooooo.

    70. Hm… Just as cute as the cover for Ask Again Later. Will consider despite my not-so-great experience with AAL.

    71. I’m judging you so hard for missing the pun that “The final test is the most violet.” YOU WERE SO CLOSE AND YOU MISSED IT. GET OUT, CHRISTINA.

  8. Gillian says:

    3. Is purdy, though.

    4. I want that luggage and I want that dog.

    5. COOOOOL SKULL SKULL. He loves skulls so much he wore them twice.

    7. This one is really arresting. I like.

    8. Yeah, Mindy definitely has some cover god connections.

    10. That looks like an ad for Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.

    12. Somehow I ALWAYS end up wearing flippy skirts on windy days. It’s a curse.

    13. *resuses joke I already used* The back of her head is riddikulus.

    14. You don’t know what Deenie is about? It’s about a girl with scoliosis and a back brace. This cover’s really pretty, but I’m not sure it quite captures that.

    15. You gotta put your behind in your past.

    22. COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

    24. What in the hell?

    25. That’s actually kind of cool.

    30. She is, indeed, walking.

    31. “That’s totally how I swim.” LOLLERCOPTER

    34. ANOMALIE.

    35. You’re right, it IS freakish they’re all the same height.

    40. SO GOOD.

    43. TAKE ME TO YOUR READER. BAHAHAHA.

    44. Willingly Predatory.

    45. God, do I hate these redesigns.

    48. Woooo, Cover Snark shoutout! I shall forever be remembered as the girl who coined the phrase “bridge vagina”.

    49. This looks like both an Ellen Hopkins and a little bit like the UK cover of Dangerous Girls.

    50. I love everything happening with the face and haaaate the font and the background.

    55. I’ve been burned by you before!

    58. AUSTRALIAN?? NOOO, I WAS ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS!

    61. That kid has a firesaber and the girl has perfect middle grade hair. Damn them.

    62. I want her skirt.

    65. These covers are so beautiful, but I’m just not sure about that color scheme.

    66. Pretty dress cover give it want

    70. I love the bow on her head. Basically, I love this cover.

    71. I HATE these covers more than I really logically should. But they’re so bland they’re ugly (like the titles).

    CB1. These are both beeeyoootiful, but I LOVE the antlers.

    CB3. Kill them both. Kill all the faces.

    CB5. I love both of these so much that the solution will simply be to own them both.

    CB6. LOOOOOVE THE ITALIAN COVER. But I also love the US. Both super gorgeous images.

    I like Gaby’s choice. Well done, Gaby.
    Gillian recently posted…Review: Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew SmithMy Profile

  9. Valia says:

    Oh my goodness. This is the best post ever! I’m laughing out loud and I NEEDED to laugh out loud. Although it makes me super aware of how people may react to my cover….oh boy.
    Either way, THANK YOU!
    Valia recently posted…On reorganizing your life…and bookshelvesMy Profile

  10. Stormy says:

    4. DOG is the best. And it’s a German Shepherd, so win.

    5. I’m pretty sure the skull-on-head is suppose to be menacing and convince me this is a deadly high fantasy world, but it makes me laugh instead.

    7. I want to like this. It’s begging me to like it. But I just can’t quite bring myself there.

    8. Happy sigh. Even though I wasn’t a *huge* fan of Not a Drop to Drink, I’ll probably pick this up for the cover alone. And it’s just going to look even more stunning on a hardcover.

    25. I have no idea why, but I love this, even though I’m not particularly drawn to #24. Maybe because of the dragon?

    35. I feel they could have done so much better than this.

    52. Not a fan. Definitely doesn’t fit the creepy covers of the rest of the series–I don’t find the statue of liberty particularly frightening.

    66. I know I shouldn’t(because I will probably dislike it), but I am so going to read it. That cover is completely working on me, unfortunately.

    68. I think this is my favorite of the week–it’s stunning, and I am begging the book to live up to this cover.

    79. I really love this look for these books. And I think I like the font & arrows on this one more than the thought bubbles on Ask Again Later.
    Stormy recently posted…O.W.L. Reports {Mini-Reviews} #3My Profile

  11. ““Special can be scary”? What the eff is this about? Well, I’m curious and also pretty shirt. So I suppose I like this modernized redesign.”

    MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. I thought about tweeting the cover and tagline (and why it existed when it gives me no clue to the story), but then I felt bad for being snarky and decided against it.

    19: I think my favorite thing about this cover is the look on his face (potentially because of your bong comment?). Otherwise I am kind of scared by his waist. The angle makes his body look weird.

    20: If only I had the power to steal the clothes that some of these models wear for cover shoots…. Can we just go shopping in covers? pls?

    27: Also: cool. I want one of those fans. And I was seriously distracted by that beautiful wedding gown (and matching background pattern) and the necklace.

    33: Honestly I can’t take it seriously — agree with your comments though — because of his mustache. Why. Why. Why. o.O. (Also he does look a little like the guy in the Reluctantly Royal cover, right?)

    57: I am kind of amused by the title placement because it reminds of those pants with the words printed all over the butt.

    65: I am jealous of her eyelashes.

    YAY I look forward to the return of the WTFery when covers do not overwhelm us.
    Christina @ Christina Reads YA recently posted…Christina Makes the Bookish Rounds (34)My Profile

  12. Angie F. says:

    4. This is cute! But yeah, rolly bags are so much easier!

    7. This looks kind of awkward…

    21. I kind of love this…or the idea of this. I think it would be been cuter if it was just the Scrabble tiles without the photograph.

    24. Or maybe the grass and the snake are GIANT and she’s less giant, and the people are normal?

    38. This is just…I don’t even know. Not good.

    41. I need these shoes. Like…I NEEEED them OMG…

    45. *still mourning the original cover theme*

    Battles
    1.US!!!

    2. Paperback!

    3. The covers for this series are just awful.

    4. The original! This book is adorable and the original fits that much more. Also, it’s not NA.

    6. Totally Italian if that pixie who I assume is suppose to be an angel was removed.
    Angie F. recently posted…Review: Taut by J.A. HussMy Profile

  13. 2. Looks so amateurish, despite seeing a few big names.
    3. It’s the M for Meh..
    5. Cool 🙂
    7. The girl doesn’t look that frightened. I would be panicking.
    8. Gorgeous <3
    12. I like her curves though.
    15. It looks more like the cover for a CD.
    26. That's pretty, so many details 🙂
    45. I hate the redesign for these covers, I wish they stayed with the first design from Crewel.
    46. Adorable 😀
    49. When nothing stops the hurt but pain.. poetic.
    55. Haha, my thoughts exactly!
    58. Looove it. I want this Aussie cover.
    64. Pretty. I like that the girl looks kick-ass too.
    65. What a stunning girl as far as I can see.
    66. 67. 68. I like.

    1. I'm sticking with the US covers.
    3.. Hm.. The Australian one.
    5. I like both of them.
    6. I like the little fairy on the Italian cover, but I pick the US one.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 233. Amalie Howard – The almost girl.My Profile

  14. 4. OMG a German Shepherd on the cover. I am going to love it no matter what!

    5. LOL. I know, right? I think I might want to read this one though.

    8. I love this too. And I cannot wait to read this book. Glad it’s not a sequel and instead a companion novel.

    26. I really like this, but I just wish there wasn’t so much typography on it! Detracts from the photo for me.

    29. Those tattoos look so fake.

    48. LOL yeah. Not as pretty as the others.

    I am just so underwhelmed by ALL of the covers this week. MEH. Great pick, Gaby!
    Kara @ Great Imaginations recently posted…Forgotten Fridays: Scarlet by A.G. GaughenMy Profile

  15. 1. But… but… but… ASSASSINS…

    4. I wish my luggage were that colorful. My suitcases are red, which was so much cooler until I started traveling and realized that EVERYONE has red suitcases.

    5. I’m giggling, because my first reaction was “Ooooh, he has a skull on his head!”

    8. YESSSSSS

    14. Deenie? The heck kind of name is that?

    17. And the dress says “Buy our car insurance!”

    21. I can’t decide if it’s cute or lame that they had the cover models do EXACTLY WHAT ENGAGED PEOPLE DO IN ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS.

    22. Dang you and your earworms.

    27. Can we talk about how pretty that bodice is?

    31. I keep staring at her head. Does it look too large to anyone else?

    34. I can hear the jokes now. “There was this… SPARK between us. And when I held her hand, it was positively ELECTRIFYING.”

    36. Behind closed doors, wipe off that lipstick, woman, because it looks slimy and is grossing me out.

    38. Um, tagline, yes, this is how reoccurring traumas work.

    39. TAGLINE, Y U MISSING PERIOD?!?!

    42. This is the ennnnd… Hold your breath and counnnnnt to tennnnn… DANG IT, EARWORM!

    51. Um, where are his hands coming from?

    57. Is anyone else concerned about her lack of shoulder blades?

    59. Hellooooo 80s!

    60. The heck are vykens? Do they mean vikings?

    64. GIT IT GIRLFRIEND! *cheers on the Percybeth-esque couple in the middle*

    70. Aw, I like how well this going with ASK AGAIN LATER.

    CB6. As one who knows nothing about ANGELFALL I am now totally confused… and intrigued.
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Make War Not Love – The Malenchki of RavkaMy Profile

  16. Anya says:

    I totally don’t use this feature to mark books I want to request for review, I don’t know what you’re talking about >.> <3
    Anya recently posted…Sci-fi and Fantasy Friday {SF/F Reviews and Giveaways}My Profile

  17. Lyn Kaye says:

    I just had to laugh so hard at the commentary. THE SNOW IS DIVERGENT!

    I’m so excited about #8, I can’t even stand it. I love this cover even more. And The Jewel? OMG HELLO SELECTION. Why are the girls always in such an uncomfortable position? On any of those damn covers? Geesh.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Bekka’s 3rd Blogoversary!My Profile

  18. […] Mentions: Cover Snark (from A Reader of Fictions), College Fashion (from Playing in the Pages), EcoBetty (from Book […]

  19. That German Shepherd makes the same face as mine when he is concerned. That’s what I came to say. I will now lazily scroll away and look at covers.
    April Books & Wine recently posted…Brotherhood | AB Westrick | Book ReviewMy Profile

  20. flute52689 says:

    #60, Fractured Truth, is the third book in the Fractured Light series, which is really great, though I like the covers for #1 and #2 better. http://cedarfort.com/catalogsearch/result/?order=name&dir=asc&q=rachel+mcclellan

  21. […] to change.The ladies at The Midnight Garden chat about their fictional crushes.This week’s Cover Snark at A Reader of Fictions is […]

  22. Julie`s Blog says:

    Wow! Huge list! Noted!

    about book “Otherwise Engaged”:

    It’s nice to see Jayne Anne Krentz take a break from the paranormal theme she’s exhausted in her other recent works. The seemingly endless parade of bizarre psychic talents she’s been inventing for her heroines was starting to pall.

    But apart from that, this is pretty much an Amanda Quick romance by the numbers. The usual elements are all there: unconventional career woman meets rich, scientifically-minded hero and are forced into an engagement of appearances to protect the lady’s reputation. They find true love while searching for a mentally unbalanced villain who is killing off the young women of London. Meanwhile, the unconventional heroine’s sister is involved in a secondary romance of her own.

    After a workmanlike sex scene or two and a few misunderstandings and false starts, the couple declare their love and live happily ever after. They also track down the villain plus accomplices, and save England from foreign threats.

    The characters are likable enough, if not quite believable given the historical setting, and there’s nothing strictly wrong with the story, but it does feel as though Ms Krentz is losing her interest in the romance genre and wants to focus more on the mystery elements. There is no spark or chemistry between the lovers and the plot surrounding the missing notebook and the murdered women received far more attention.

    Julie Anne,
    https://julieannepeters.com

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