Cover Snark (90): The One with More Terrifying Tentacles

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. The Invisible (The Brokenhearted #2) – Amelia Kahaney
The Invisible (The Brokenhearted #2) - Amelia Kahaney
Thoughts: If I pretend it’s one of those bird toys that can balance on your fingertip, I like this, but I’m fairly certain it’s a needle, but I DAMN WELL will not look at it that closely. A world of nope.

2. The Revelation of Gabriel Adam – S.L. Duncan
The Revelation of Gabriel Adam - S.L. Duncan
Thoughts: That sword has wings. WHY? And it manages to look like Christian fiction but incredibly phallic all at once. No. NOOOOO.

3. Free Agent – (Grimm Agency #1) – J. C. Nelson
Free Agent - (Grimm Agency #1) - J. C. Nelson
Thoughts: Why is the title not a fairy tale reference and/or pun? The prognosis may be grimm.

4. Salt & Storm – Kendall Kulper
Salt & Storm - Kendall Kulper
Thoughts: This isn’t really roping me in.

5. The Wounded (The Woodlands #3) – Lauren Nicolle Taylor
The Wounded - Lauren Nicolle Taylor
Thoughts: She does look wounded. Her brain can’t brain ever since a city got stuck in it.

6. Unmarked (The Legion #2) – Kami Garcia
Unmarked (The Legion #2) - Kami Garcia
Thoughts: I still don’t get why there is a U on these covers. Yes, these titles DO begin with U. You’re very smart. Now shut up.

7. Born of Corruption (Born of Illusion #1.5) – Teri Brown
Born of Corruption - Teri Brown
Thoughts: Whoa, this is a REALLY good HarperTeen Impulse cover. I’m so proud! Look at them making an effort!

8. Complete Nothing (True Love #2) – Kieran Scott
Complete Nothing (True Love #2) - Kieran Scott
Thoughts: Why are the people so much in shadow? What even the fuck?

9. The Art of Secrets – James Klise
The Art of Secrets - James Klise
Thoughts: Based on the title of the other book, I’m guessing that “Where there’s smoke” someone’s getting high.

10. Stone Cold Lover (Gargoyle #2) – Christine Warren
Stone Cold Lover (Gargoyle #2) - Christine Warren
Thoughts: I like how NOT heated up that girl looks. She’s like “ugh, am I done yet?” And then, in the background, there’s a gargoyle or something perving on them. HOTT. OH WAIT, I get it now. STONE COLD LOVER. She’s bored with her muscular human and totally ho hum about sex UNTIL she meets the pervy gargoyle, and discovers the joys of stone cold sex. Romance novels are weird sometimes.

11. Poisoned Apples – Christine Heppermann
Poisoned Apples - Christine Hepperman
Thoughts: All of the fonts need work, but HELLO blurb by E. Lockhart. It’s like they realized they needed to do nothing else to sell this book.

12. Murder Most Unladylike (Wells & Wong) – Robin Stevens
Murder Most Unladylike (Wells & Wong) - Robin Stevens
Thoughts: Deepdean School? I can’t help but imagine this being something kinky planned by the Dean from Community. O_o

13. Eden – Joanna Nadin
Eden - Joanna Nadin
Thoughts: Maybe you can’t kill the truth, but you can apparently burn it down a little.

14. Undertow – Joanna Nadin
Undertow - Joanna Nadin
Thoughts: And jumping off that pier seemed like a really good idea. The water by such places is usually super clean! But maybe people are jumping in and risking the undertow BECAUSE A GIANT HEAD APPEARED IN THE SKY.

15. Hangtown – Karen Sandler
Hangtown - Karen Sandler
Thoughts: It’s all intense and noir-y, but the main character’s just drinking the morning Starbucks. Like, “whatevs, I don’t care if someone digs up my secrets before I’ve had my morning coffee.”

16. Tales From a Not-So-Glam TV Star (Dork Diaries #7) – Rachel Renee Russell
Tales From a Not-So-Glam TV Star (Dork Diaries #7) - Rachel Renee Russell
Thoughts: Derpidy derp derp.

17. Finding Mr. Darcy: High School Edition – Erin Butler
Finding Mr. Darcy High School Edition - Erin Butler
Thoughts: I am trying to picture Mr. Darcy suffering the indignity of attending a modern high school and I am giggling.

18. Girl in Love (Kylie Ryans #3) – Caisey Quinn
Girl in Love (Kylie Ryans #3) - Caisey Quinn
Thoughts: DO YOU FEEL THE LOVE? I don’t.

19. Wicked as She Wants (Blud #2) – Delilah S. Dawson
Wicked as She Wants - Delilah S. Dawson
Thoughts: If I prefer my wickedness with short hair, he better cut that ponytail the fuck off. Hopefully, like Eric, he will be gorgeous once he has a moderate amount of hair.

20. Saint Kate of the Cupcake: The Dangers of Lust and Baking – L.C. Fenton
Saint Kate of the Cupcake The Dangers of Lust and Baking - L.C. Fenton
Thoughts: Gillian (Writer of Wrongs), I think this might be about you. Also, those dangers totally sound worth it. And I would like a cupcake.

21. Havoc (Dred Chronicles #2) – Ann Aguirre
Havoc - Ann Aguirre
Thoughts: She is FIERCE. Not sure why she has white spots in her hair, but I’m not going to ask her about it. I’m also wondering whether life in prison is really better than just being put out of your misery.

22. Maid of Deception (Maids of Honor #2) – Jennifer McGowan
Maid of Deception (Maid of Secrets #2) - Jennifer McGowan
Thoughts: BAHAHAHA, OMG, does that one guy have a Mullhawk?

23. House Immortal – Devon Monk
House Immortal - Devon Monk
Thoughts: SHE’S MORE THAN THE SUM OF HER PARTS. Wow, are you just learning this about women, tagline writers? It’s not just her either. People in general are more than the sum of their parts. I can’t even.

24. Valour (The Faithful and the Fallen #2) – John Gwynne
Valour - John Gwynne
Thoughts: Gimli’s book!

25. Beware the Wild – Natalie C. Parker
Beware the Wild – Natalie C. Parker
Thoughts: Snark has been suspended to marvel.

26. Dead to Me – Mary McCoy
Dead to Me - Mary McCoy
Thoughts: Ha, well, my house isn’t that nice, so my secrets are nice and clean. Take that, fancy house-having people!

27. Escape from Lucien (Amulet #6) – Kazu Kibuishi
Escape form Lucien (Amulet #6)
Thoughts: Fear their shiny torso lamps! I’m not sure if the giant robot thing is their enemy or chasing after them. They don’t look like they’re concerned, but maybe the robot is stealthy.

28. Sisters – Raina Telgemeier
Sisters - Raina Telgemeier
Thoughts: Why is the one smiley so angry at braces smiley? So many questions.

29. Astray (Gated #2) – Amy Christine Parker
Astray - Amy Christine Parker
Thoughts: This makes me even more concerned about the plot of book two, considering that book one wrapped up. Like, jk, ignore the events of the previous book; you’re in for life.

30. Darkness Hidden (The Name of the Blade #2) – Zoë Marriott
Darkness Hidden - Zoe Marriott
Thoughts: What did those birds do to him??? Did they shit on his katana?

31. Hellhole – Gina Damico
Hellhole - Gina Damico
Thoughts: SATANIC SMILEY FACE. Adorbs.

32. Unwanted Truth (Unwanted #1) – Danielle M. Pepe
Unwanted Truth - Danielle M. Pepe
Thoughts: I know you don’t want to hear it, honey, but sometimes you have to throw away your favorite clothes. Time to put the shorts out of their misery.

33. Empire of Shadows (Bhinian Empire #2) – Miriam Forster
Empire of Shadows (Bhinian Empire #2) - Miriam Forster
Thoughts: This is sort of like the Disney version of a Lord of the Rings setting or something.

34. The Ultra Thin Man – Patrick Swenson
The Ultra Thin Man - Patrick Swenson
Thoughts: BUT HOW THIN IS HE? I cannot see under his cloak.

35. The Girl They Sold to the Moon – Chris Stevenson
The Girl They Sold to the Moon - Chris Stevenson
Thoughts: WE SOLD KE$HA TO THE MOON.

36. Dearest (The Woodcutter Sisters #3) – Alethea Kontis
Dearest (The Woodcutter Sisters #3) - Alethea Kontis
Thoughts: The angle and the velvety dress makes her look oddly top heavy. I do like the sort of Rosetti-ish feel to it.

37. The Book of Bad Things – Dan Poblocki
The Book of Bad Things - Dan Poblocki
Thoughts: THE BOOK OF ZOMBIE HANDS. Much creepier is the smashed in baby doll head. DO NOT LIKE.

38. Afraid – Jo Gibson
Afraid - Jo Gibson
Thoughts: I am not afraid. I am bored.

39. Faces of the Dead – Suzanne Weyn
Faces of the Dead - Suzanne Weyn
Thoughts: They are very well-preserved dead.

40. Of Monsters and Madness – Jessica Verday
Of Monsters and Madness - Jessica Verday
Thoughts: Creepy, but not quite as creepy as the Ransom Riggs covers.

41. Devin Rhodes Is Dead – Jennifer Wolf Kam
Devin Rhodes Is Dead - Jennifer Wolf Kam
Thoughts: Was Devin Rhodes killed by that fucked up half of the Best Friends necklace?

42. Five Ways to Fall (Ten Tiny Breaths #4) – K.A. Tucker
Five Ways to Fall - K.A. Tucker
Thoughts: Oooh, I want those boots. Otherwise, BORED, and very distracted by the hair.

Cover Battles:

1. In Darkness – Nick Lake

In Darkness
In Darkness - Nick Lake

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: YES. I approve so much of this redesign. Not using an outline for a POC = awesome, but also this cover is just really well done. I love the way the title pops out of his head like Athena out of Zeus’.

2. Carnival of Secrets (Untamed City #1) – Melissa Marr

Carnival of Souls - Melissa Marr
Carnival of Secrets (Untamed City #1) - Melissa Marr

US Original vs. US Redesign: Apparently someone didn’t get my memo about how title changes are stupid and unnecessary. *glares* Also, why is there a person in green goo? It looks like liquidy toothpaste. Is this some sort of spa treatment? DO NOT GET A SPA TREATMENT AT A CARNIVAL? THIS CANNOT BE A GOOD IDEA.

3. Auracle – Gina Rosati

Auracle
Auracle - Gina Rosati

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I think I like the look of the new cover a bit more, but the heroine’s also apparently totally cool with littering her poorly photoshopped paper all over the place. She gives no fucks.

4. Antigoddess (Goddess War #1) – Kendare Blake

Antigoddess - Kendare Blake
Antigoddess (Goddess War #1) - Kendare Blake

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I don’t love this, but it’s maybe better than the random feather. However, is it good enough to necessitate a redesign? I’m thinking no.

5. The Planet Thieves (The Planet Thieves #1) – Dan Krokos

The Planet Thieves - Dan Krokos
The Planet Thieves - Dan Krokos

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Orange and purple was a bold choice, much like jumping into space without a tether.

6. Wonderland – Joanna Nadin

Wonderland 1
Wonderland 2
Wonderland - Joanna Nadin

US vs. Mystery edition vs. UK: Wow, well, this depends on what the book is about, I guess, but I suspect it’s not an adorable fluffy book, so while I find that cover most appealing, I’m fairly certain it’s a LIE. But this one has a face in the sky that’s not crying, because that’s just the rain.

7. Girl with Guitar (Kylie Ryans #1) – Caisey Quinn

Girl with Guitar
Girl with Guitar (Kylie Ryans #1) - Caisey Quinn

Original vs. Redesign: Apparently the girl didn’t have enough boobs or makeup.

8. Girl on Tour (Kylie Ryans #2) – Caisey Quinn

Girl on Tour
Girl on Tour (Kylie Ryans #2) - Caisey Quinn

Original vs. Redesign: Still going for a sexier vibe, only this time girls on tour wear their boyfriend’s t-shirts with the necks cut.

9. Maybe Someday – Colleen Hoover

Maybe Someday US
Maybe Someday - Colleen Hoover

US vs. UK: Well, for new adult, these are both fairly unique, but I prefer the fun, flirty bubbles of the UK one.

10. Shield of Winter (Psy-Changeling #13) – Nalini Singh

Shield of Winter
Pfade im Nebel
Shield of Winter - Nalini Singh

US vs. German vs. UK: The UK one kind of makes me think he’s in the Hunger Games. Which means I’m most likely to pick up that one.

11. Gated (Gated #1) – Amy Christine Parker

Gated
Gated - Amy Christine Parker

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: I do think it’s better, though she seems to be very not gated. The title is gating her in, I guess. Whatever, it’s prettier.

12. The Night Itself (The Name of the Blade #1) – Zoë Marriott

The Night Itself (The Name of the Blade #1)
The Night Itself - Zoe Marriott

UK Original vs. UK Redesign: A marked improvement for the most part, but she does seem to be fighting someone’s Patronus, which is rude.

13. Missing, Presumed Evil (Troubletwisters #4) – Garth Nix & Sean Williams

Missing, Presumed Evil (Troubletwisters #4) - Garth Nix & Sean Williams
Missing, Presumed Evil Aus
Missing, Presumed Evil

UK vs. Australia vs. US: Ew, the US definitely loses because Missing, Presumed Dead is obviously the better title.

14. Earthquake (Earthbound #2) – Aprilynne Pike

Earthquake - Aprilynne Pike
Earthquake (Earthbound #2) - Aprilynne Pike

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Looks like they rethought that redesign? But maybe it’s just another redesign, since it still doesn’t match the first book.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Deer in the Headlights – Staci Hart
Deer in the Headlights - Staci Hart
Thoughts: 1, 2, 3. Are you ready for the heart-shaped of reveal of the totally visible person?

2. Gory Hole – Craig Wallwork
Gory Hole - Craig Wallwork
Thoughts: This is like a grindhouse nightmare.

3. Conqueror Womb: Lusty Tales of Shub-Niggurath – Justine Geoffrey & Scott R. Jones, eds
Conqueror Womb Lusty Tales of Shub-Niggurath - Justine Geoffrey & Scott R. Jones, eds
Thoughts: Did you think you couldn’t be more terrified after that last one? You were wrong.

4. A Daughter of Fate – Jessica Albee
A Daughter of Fate - Jessica Albee
Thoughts: Pretty sure God went crazy from looking at those prior covers. Either that or the old priest hooking up with a woman right in front of him. Maybe He’s trying to run interference.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

Beware the Wild – Natalie C. Parker

Today, welcome Angie (Disquietus), who has selected Beware the Wild by Natalie C. Parker. Here’s why:

“This was possibly the easiest decision I’ve had to make in a while. I love how creepy and different this cover is, especially compared to all the others revealed this week. It doesn’t seem like it’s trying too hard to sell me on the book. The tree branches wrapping around the font is awesome, and I love the way “the wild” is reflected in the pond. And I just really love the fonts used.”

To learn more or purchase:Goodreads|Amazon|TBD

24 responses to “Cover Snark (90): The One with More Terrifying Tentacles”

  1. Ellis says:

    4. This title makes no sense. I’m trying to combine the elements but no. Brain’s not working today.

    5. I’ve had it with these covers with floating faces with freaky eyes. Nopenopenope.

    6. Oh, look. It’s the first cover in blue. And then that awful Beautiful Creatures sticker that breaks the flow of that U. YOU’RE BREAKING THE FLOW, STICKER. BE GONE.

    8. This looks like something, though. Tittel fail.

    17. I’m trying to figure out which side of her head this is and I’m just going to stop thinking because it’s freaking me out.

    18. I’ve had it with these girls holding a guy and still looking like they smell poo. YOU’RE MANHANDLING HIM. NOW HANDLE THAT MAN AND STOP COMPLAINING.

    27. No one escapes from Luci-en. Phaedraaaaaaaaa.

    33. UGH. Why did they have to include those factionesque symbols? Do not approve.

    35. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    37. Haaaa, I didn’t realise that was a hand at first. I saw it out of my peripheral vision and thought it was a rabit or weasel being all dramatic in the middle of ruins. Yes, that did seem plausible at the time. Stop laughing.

    40. Of Elks and Fishs

    42. An untamed forest. A road paved in red. A haircut drenched in blood. Jeans without pockets. Which one will be her downfall? DUN DUN DUUUUUUN. Spoiler: the fifth one, of which there are no clues on the cover.

    CB 2. NO. I will never fuck fake ass flames.

    CB 4. No. Noooooooooo. This looks so generically UF/PNR and that’s the direction they’re going to take for the rest of the series and my covers won’t match and SOB.

    CB 8. WHAT’S WITH THE CONSTIPATED FACES, GIRL? You’re pissing me off and I don’t even know you.

    CB 8. They’re redesigning? Again? Um, money-wasters.

    WTF 2. OH MY GOD Venus of Milo what have they done to you come here so I can hug you wait never mind get away from me you freak.

    WTF 3. No no nooooooooooooooo. STOPING DOING THIS TO US, CHRISTINA. WHATTHEFAK.
    Ellis recently posted…Are You Ready for Finding Swoons in Books?My Profile

  2. 1. It’s kind of pretty, in a “oooh shiiiiiny” kind of way, but I don’t really get it?

    2. I agree with all you are saying but I’m still like OOHHH PREETTTYYY (I’m sensing a theme – maybe I’m just incredibly attracted to the shiny things today haha!). It just grabs your eye and I like the colours.

    3. Yay for realistic clothing and a not too crazy stance!

    4. Really like the font!

    5. What the?! Not a good idea to put the city scape across her forehead…

    6. Hate these covers! Dislike this one even more because of the colour combo and that eye.

    7. Ohhh I like how it still feels very much like the other two covers for this series, but different enough for you to realize it’s a novella!

    8. I like the title treatment, buuuut they are posing so awkwardly. Also: clouds.

    9. Simple but bold!

    10. I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT THE CREEPER GARGOYLE. That’s the first thing I looked at LMAO

    12. Oh my god your comment, haha. But then it would be DeepDEEEAAAANNNN

    13. This has me intrigued but I hate the tagline.

    14. Trying to read this actually hurts my eyes *looks away*

    15. I liked the original close-up covers for the first book… wish they had stuck with something similar.

    25. This is awesome!

    27. This HAS to be designed by the same illustrator as the recently repackaged Harry Potter books! The style looks so similar…

    36. Very Born Wicked-ish

    WTF #2 OH MY GOD. WHAT THE EFFFFFFFFF?!?!?!
    # 3 YOU WERE RIGHT *tries to wipe image from my brain*
    Rachelia (Bookish Comforts) recently posted…{Review} Faking Normal by Courtney C. StevensMy Profile

  3. 5. This is the worst floating head/city kind of cover I’ve seen. She’s not even floating above the city, no the city is in her.

    6. Boring, boring.

    7. It’s pretty! And I never would have guessed it to be a novella cover either.

    10. I had to laugh at what you said at first, because I thought no way would the book be about that and I thought it was a funny idea. And then I looked it up on GR and YOU WERE RIGHT. Romance books can be really weird, yeah, and I wasn’t prepared for sex with gargoyle statues.

    11. This would be miles better if they had a decent font, but yeah, E. Lockhart.

    13. & 14. Why still so many covers with floating heads in the sky? They are everywhere.

    18. She’s clearly not in love with him.

    22. AAAH THIS IS SO UGLY. This could have been so much better! Even though the cover of the first book in this series (before it was redesigned) wasn’t that unique, it’s miles and miles better than this.

    25. LOVING the font!

    33. I think the background is gorgeous, but I don’t particularly like the title and I really dislike the symbols on the cover.

    CB.1 The US Hardback is more my style, but I’ll choose a POC on the cover every time.

    CB.3 Definitely the hardback, I love the background and the font, and the paperback bores me.

    CB.4 Neither one. The feather is too random, but I also don’t like the redesign.

    CB.5 I like both, but I chose hardback because the blue/purple looks just a little nicer. I wanted to say there is never too much purple, but then I remembered the UK cover for The Eternity Cure. Oh yeah.

    CB.7 I’m jealous of her hair. I want mine to be wavy like that. (Talking about the girl on the redesigned cover)

    CB.8 Again, hair envy.

    CB.11 The redesign! It’s pretty! I didn’t see a poll with this cover where I can vote, is that only me?

    CB.12 Redesign, as I don’t like illustrated covers.
    Kim @ The Nomadic Book Hoarder recently posted…January 2014 in ReviewMy Profile

  4. Annie says:

    33. Totally looks like something Atlantis-ish to me.

    36. Dearest has a cover! I adore Alethea Kontis.
    Annie recently posted…Power PlaysMy Profile

  5. Kayla Beck says:

    7. Wow, this might just be the best novella cover EVER.

    9. I’m thinking arson.

    29. Well, then. This screams more ghost story than contemporary.

    33. Those statues look like the monkies from the original Planet of the Apes movie.

    36. I will own all of these books.

    38. This should be the cover of the Gated sequel.

    CB11. It makes me think of The Ring.
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Blog Tour (Review & Giveaway): Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew SmithMy Profile

  6. 1. I will have the little bird, please. It may be a needle, BUT IT’S SO PRETTY.

    2. Baseball references and Grimm stories: Two things that don’t mix.

    3. Boooooooooring.

    6. Wow, how creative. Barely tweak it and make the cover blue for the second book.

    7. I NEED THIS YESTERDAY. I think I like this one more than the series covers, actually. There’s her pretty lips and the feather boa and the lack of any distracting headgear or fucked-up eyes.

    9. That reminds me: I need to request this. I saw it on Edelweiss ages ago and it looks like fun! Not a great cover, though. Boring.

    10. Yeah, that gargoyle is definitely ready to be a perv. He’s already staring at their genitals because he’s waiting for something to happen!

    11. Hm. Not sure about this. E’s blurb is tempting where the book itself is not, but she also blurbed September Girls and I don’t trust author blurbs ever.

    13. Or alrernatively, “You can’t kill the truth. Trust me, I tried and all I got for my efforts was a buned-down house my insurance won’t pay for because I started the fire.”

    16. Awww, her outfit is adorable. I want to hug her.

    18. What a face! That’s like me when guys are screaming about my boobs.

    22. Is that a harem I see? IS THAT A HAREM I SEE? I’M STARTING THIS DAMN SERIES BECAUSE A TUDOR-ERA HAREM. (You’re going to laugh so hard at me when I’m disappointed and laugh even harder if I hate the books.)

    25. I actually really dislike this cover and want to burn it all down because the font and its placement in the landscape reminds me of Night School (THAT DAMN BOOK). Also a lot like Not a Drop to Drink/In a Handful of Dust. Not too unique, it’s not. Too bad there won’t be any burning it down since it’s in a swamp.

    26. I SEE TAYLOR SWIFT.

    29. Exactly! Stuff is going to be retconned and that might not be good! Gated’s ending was GOOD. It was solid and perfectly resolved and now the second book is going to mess that up. I’m going to read it, but I’m not terribly happy it exists.

    30. HIIIIIIII, PRETTY MAN. I think the birds *did* shit on his katana, yeah. Birds are assholes.

    33. I love the colors, but I have no plans to touch this book. Nooooope.

    35. THEN I WILL BUY HER BACK. I NEED HER.

    36. I love all these colors and demand a print of this cover please.

    42. That’s basically how my first fictional crush (the one whose intro I tweeted a while back and you were boggled at) did his hair: He dipped it in red.

    2. What a sucky redesign! Surely they could have found something else to set on fire. Also, here’s hoping James Marsters comes back to narrate the second book.

    3. I liked the hardcover at first, but then I got a closer look and realized her anatomy is all fucked up. Her chest faces the waterfall, her legs face us like she’s walking toward us even though her back is also to us, who knows where the hell her head is facing… WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER OH MY GOD KILL IT FAST.

    4. I see they’re trying to go for crossover appeal and make it look like urban fantasy.

    8. I’m starting to think “I just smelled something gross” is her at-rest facial expression.

    11. I like the first one more even though I hate covers staring at me because she is creepy as fuck and the redesign is just meh.

    12. YEP, GETTING THAT PAPERBACK COVER. Also, the Patronus started it! Not her fault.

    14. Oh, *Penguin*.

    3. I noticed the multiboobs before I noticed the tentacles. Long before.

  7. Erica says:

    I laughed SO HARD at the ke$ha comment.

    Just fyi, we’re using that In Darkness cover as our US paperback too!

  8. Gillian says:

    1. I actually think this is beeeyoooteeful, despite the stupid “EW” watermark.

    2. SO PHALLIC.

    4. I actually really like that deep, bright blue.

    6. THAT IS THE SAME EXACT THING EXCEPT BLUE. THAT IS SO STUPID.

    7. Look at Harper Impulse stepping up its game!

    10. BAHAHAHAHA

    15. That is SO hard to read.

    16. Very derp.

    17. AHAHAHAHAHAHA Mr. Darcy would be exceptionally unamused by a modern high school.

    18. She does not look in love. She looks like she just smelled his fart.

    20. OH LOOK, SOMEONE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT ME.

    22. That is a WRETCHED cover redesign. Holy shit. They look like shitty promo photos for Reign.

    25. Ooooo.

    30. Despite the bird-shit-ness, this is kind of kick ass.

    31. THAT IS SO CUTE.

    32. The unwanted truth is that I can see your vagina, girl.

    33. I know, and that’s why I likes it!

    34. He looks of normal width to me.

    35. HABANA

    40. I really like the fontage going on.

    42. I thought she was bleeding for a second.

    CB1. ALL THE APPROVALSSSSS.

    CB4. Eh. I think it’s better? A little? The bloody g knife is cool.

    CB 5. I much prefer the orig. I like all the blue and his sweet glove things.

    CB11. Ooh, you forgot the poll here. I approve of the Gated redesign.

    WTF1. AHAHAHAHA WHAT THE HELL

    WTF2. AHHHHHHHHHH NIGHTMARES FOR LIFE

    WTF3. *speechless*

    Wtf4. God looks like he’s breaking it down on the dance floor.
    Gillian recently posted…Review: Lady Thief by A.C. GaughenMy Profile

  9. Holy crap I have got to stop reading Cover Snark in class! I started laughing out loud at the ponytail comment on Wicked As She Wants and my Estate Planning professor thought I was laughing at someone dying. Still totally worth it. Love these!

  10. kara-karina says:

    I’ll never forgive you for that WOMB-woman, Christina! :)))

  11. I think the Carnival of Souls title change is because of the litigation Melissa Marr faced from some guy. He’d said that he’d already owned the copyright to the title — I don’t remember the precise details, but that is a title change that’s not her fault :P. Although shame to have lost that beautiful first cover.
    Christina @ Christina Reads YA recently posted…Christina Makes the Bookish Rounds 33My Profile

  12. 1. Is it a needle or is it an evil hummingbird? You never can quite tell.
    4. PUNS. EVERYWHERE. You’re on a roll today.
    6. I honestly cannot tell the difference between this and the first book’s cover. Oh well.
    8. No light, no light, on your bright blue book coverrrrrr *sings*
    10. I just jumped out of my chair. What the HELL is that gargoyle thing.
    12. Oh my god I love it.
    18. This girl definitely doesn’t.
    19. When did Chris Hemsworth start modelling?
    25. WANT.
    29. She doesn’t look very cold considering she is wearing a summer dress in what seems to be AN APOCALYPTIC/CANADIAN WINTER.
    32. Trying to figure out if her hair is real or if she has some LiLo extension mess going on.
    33. I was told this wasn’t going to be a series! ARGHHHHHH. Oh well, maybe I’ll have another cat ship.
    40. I would not buy this. Actually, I totally would, but I’d have to hide it.
    CB1: Definitely prefer the redesign, which is weird because I usually dislike covers with people/faces.
    CB2: Erm… neither?
    CB3: I agree, the weird paper lets it down. I prefer the old cover though. It’s so pretty ;___;
    CB8: Is this new model constantly disgusted orrr…
    CB11: YES TO THE NEW COVER. Although she looks very free to me.
    WTF3: I am scarred for life. Seriously, why is there always random hentai in Cover Snark? Every. Single. Time. *shields eyes*

  13. 4. Well, this is pretty much my favorite color (royal blue) so there is not much for me to hate here.

    11. Agreed. I really love the cover image but the typography is a mess. Though I am going to go add this right now cuz E. Lockhart. Or not. Because it’s a book of poems. WAH WAHHH.

    23. Wow. Piss me off, tagline. What is this, the 50s?

    25. Agreeed. Love this though I wish it was a little less dark so I could see what all is going on there.

    Nope, I prefer the original of The Night Itself. Not loving the redesigns and how cliche they are.

    OMG at all the WTF of the week covers. OMG at all of them.
    Kara @ Great Imaginations recently posted…Book Review: Cruel Beauty by Rosamund HodgeMy Profile

  14. This wasn’t the best week for nice covers. But omg the WTF covers were scarring. In general, I picked the original against the redesign. I don’t know why but I find most redesigns awful. Great post as always!
    P.E. @ The Sirenic Codex recently posted…Review: These Broken StarsMy Profile

  15. kristin says:

    You just made my day. I had no idea that they’d decided to keep the title “Hellhole”. When I went to one of her book signings she said that the publisher wasn’t really fond of the title and was thinking of changing it to something else. Thank goodness they didn’t.
    kristin recently posted…Review & Giveaway: TAUT by JA HussMy Profile

  16. 1. Pretty, but the needle part freaks me out.
    2. It looks more like a poster for a church meeting.
    3. I don’t like the cover, but the blurb sounds too good to ignore *adds*
    4. Hahaha, nice pun.
    6. I feel stupid, but I really thought that the ‘U’ were two arrows :’) Left one down, the right one up.
    7. Not bad for a novella 😀
    11. Not a fan of the font either, but I like the general idea.
    12. It looks more like an ugly MG cover than a mystery story.
    18. The girl look like she’s smelling something nasty.
    22. This is weird. More like an advertisement for a theater show.
    25. That is one cool cover.
    29. Hmm, those covers don’t really go together. Looks like the start of another series.
    30. He does look fierce and I like that they didn’t use a typical white male.
    33. LOVE IT 😀
    36. I really like it, especially if you look at the other covers.
    40. I like it.

    Redesigns:
    4. The old one. The new one looks like a standard romantic paranormal book.
    11. Don’t like both of them, but the first one seems more gated to me.
    12. I think I like the art more.

    2. GROSS.
    3. 😐
    Who comes up with these monsters? “HE, I have a cool idea for a cover.” “Yes, let’s do this.” ..
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 232. Rick Yancey – The 5th wave.My Profile

  17. Meg says:

    2. Where’s Waldo? Finding penises

    3. Pun!

    4. OTHER PUN!

    7. *pets the pretty typography* *pet* *pet*

    8. That is quite an interesting lighting choice.

    10. Somewhere, the book you’ve described exists. It’s probably better than this one going entirely by the level of generic cheese on this cover.

    11. I look at this and all I can think about is how much of a pain in the ass it must be to walk around wearing it. Kind of like Rapunzel’s hair, but without the fun Pixar animatedness and Flynn Rider (so, pointless).

    12. IT’S A DRIVE BY DEANING!!

    13. Fire is cleansing, Christina.

    17. MENTAL MOVIE FTW!!!

    18. I don’t think she does either. Also his face is making the creepiest expression, it’s making me shudder. These people do not look like they are enjoying each others company in the slightest.

    19. OH MY GOD SEASON 1 ERIC HAIR I COMPLETELY BLOCKED THAT OUT UNTIL THIS MOMENT

    22. MULLHAAAAWWWWKKKKK

    23. *sigh*

    25. *stares* *drools* *stares more*

    31. AHHHHHHHHH WANT NOW! ALSO YES TO ADORBS!

    38. I see this and for some reason have the strongest urge to poke her in the eye. It’s just so wide, and there, and inviting.

    CB 2. I approve of this witness leading. Seriously, if a carnival offers you a spa treatment, run. There is something wrong here.

    CB 8. I SEE YOU WHAT YOU DID THERE! I SEE IT! I SEE IT!

    WTF 1. I…what? What is happening? Why?

    WTF 2. SERIOUSLY WHAT IS HAPPENING AND WHY?!?! GORY HOLE AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THAT MANNEQUIN I AM SO DISTURBED.

    WTF 3. OH. MY. GOD. CONQUEROR WOMB. AND ALL OF THIS. AND THEN THE TITLE AGAIN. AND THEN ALL OF THIS AGAIN. (I appear to be stuck in a loop of continual spazing because OMG I CAN’T STOP LOOKING AT IT AND FREAKING OUT *scrolls like the wind*)
    Meg recently posted…Review: Cress by Marissa MeyerMy Profile

  18. Angie F. says:

    5. That just looks awkward.

    6. I somehow missed that that was a U. Oops.

    18. Her face! Oh my.

    19. I love ponytails on men!

    20. I have a dress that looks very similar to that one.

    31. Love this!

    35. Soooo sparkly! 😀

    Battles
    2. Original. The new title is boring too.

    3. Hardcover!

    4. Hardcover!

    6. Uhh..the mystery edition because I want those tights.

    11. Hardcover!

    12. Original! I love the pink.

    WTF
    1. I was so sad to see this redesign! The original cover is ADORABLE!

    2. Ew…

    3. WTF…just what?!
    Angie F. recently posted…Stacking the Shelves #116My Profile

  19. 4. *sad trombone*

    6. Was I supposed to read that in Columbo’s voice? Because I did. Also, these covers always confused me, because all I notice is the big U, so then I have to go back and figure if it’s an old U (old book) or a new U (new book).

    7. *applauds*

    8. I dunno, but I don’t mind. And he’s kinda cute. *squints*

    12. Aw, this looks surprisingly cute!

    22. I am SO SAD. The original cover for the first book was so much better than this redesign nonsense.

    28. This looks so cute!

    30. But heeeeeey, POC!
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Rewind & Review (37)My Profile

  20. […] A Reader of Fictions – Christina (what a great name if I do say so myself) posts Cover Snark on Fridays and her commentary is hi-larious! I laugh ALL THE TIME, and I always look forward to these posts. […]

  21. Max says:

    The font for The Invisible is Envy Races by Government Studios!

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