Cover Snark (89): The One Written on a Snow Day in Atlanta

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. The Worst Girlfriend in the World – Sarra Manning
The Worst Girlfriend in the World - Sarra Manning
Thoughts: Well, it’s not the worst cover in the world, but I’m certainly underwhelmed.

2. Of Sea and Stone – Kate Avery Ellison
Of Sea and Stone - Kate Avery Ellison
Thoughts: Pretty sure her hand is on her head because she’s afraid that she’s ended up on a Fallen cover.

3. Sweet Unrest – Lisa Maxwell
Sweet Unrest - Lisa Maxwell
Thoughts: This cover is totally gate! No, actually, it’s boring, but I could not resist the pun.

4. The Forever Song (Blood of Eden #3) – Julie Kagawa
The Forever Song (The Immortal Rules #3) - Julie Kagawa
Thoughts: Oh look, birds in an infinity symbol. I see what they did there. Also, is the TALON sticker going to be on all the copies? If yes, yuck. If no, why is it on the reveal? Also, this looks like an enovella cover to me. But, whatever, they successfully avoided putting a POC on the covers. *glares*

5. Stitching Snow – E.C. Lewis
Stitching Snow - E.C. Lewis
Thoughts: Is stitching a technological term that I’ve not heard? I’m puzzled. Also, why is the Apple growing limbs? Or are those worms? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

6. Elevated – Elana Johnson
Elevated - Elana Johnson
Thoughts: Clearly this is the romance between two teens trapped in an elevator. That’s totally a plot arc in Boys Over Flowers.

7. The Fine Art of Pretending (The Fine Art of Pretending #1) – Rachel Harris
The Fine Art of Pretending - Rachel Harris
Thoughts: What are the pretending? Are they pretending to be in love because reasons, but actually there love is a facade like that heart over their faces?

8. Of Scars and Stardust – Andrea Hannah
Of Scars and Stardust - Andrea Hannah
Thoughts: Of snow and snuggles in Soviet Russia.

9. House of the Rising Sun (Crescent City #1) – Kristen Painter
House of the Rising Sun (Crescent City #1) - Kristen Painter
Thoughts: There is a house in New Orleans they CALLED the Rising Sun. And it’s been the ruin of this poor ginger. And the war has begun.

10. Wizard’s Promise (The Hannah Duology #1) – Cassandra Rose Clarke
Wizard's Promise - Cassandra Rose Clarke
Thoughts: That is the cutesiest creepy illustrated cover I’ve ever seen.

11. Magic City: Recent Spells – Paula Guran, ed.
Magic City Recent Spells - Paula Guran, ed.
Thoughts: A Slytherin in a hoodie.

12. Revolution (Replica #3) – Jenna Black
Revolution (Replica #3) - Jenna Black
Thoughts: With every cover in this series, the world gets more jacked up. They might win their revolution, but their domain’s not going to be very nice.

13. The Unfairest of Them All (Ever After High #2) – Shannon Hale
The Unfairest of Them All (Ever After High #2) - Shannon Hale
Thoughts: The fairy tale princesses do not need to like Bratz dolls mated with Barbies. Nope. *hides*

14. Bad for You (Sea Breeze #7) – Abbi Glines
Bad for You - Abbi Glines
Thoughts: Lol at his random tattoos. Jealous for her dress. I wouldn’t mind letting whoever does the wardrobes for these covers select mine tbh.

15. Words and Their Meanings – Kate Bassett
Words and Their Meanings - Kate Bassett
Thoughts: The folded paper placed such as to form an unfolded crane is pretty clever. Now, take a moment and let me try to figure out what every single word on this cover is.

16. The Heiresses (The Heiresses #1) – Sara Shepard
The Heiresses - Sara Shepard
Thoughts: I can practically hear the poor neglected rich dears from here.

17. The Probability of Violet & Luke (The Coincidence #4) – Jessica Sorensen
The Probability of Violet & Luke - Jessica Sorensen
Thoughts: Luke: So, uh, what do you think? Violet: That’s definitely a rash. And it’s a bit green. You should really get that checked out…and put this shirt back on.

18. The Little Android (Lunar Chronicles #2.5) – Marissa Meyer
The Little Android - Marissa Meyer
Thoughts: Pretty, but doesn’t remotely live up to the actual book covers.

19. Earth Flight (Earth Star #3) – Janet Edwards
Earth Flight – Janet Edwards
Thoughts: UK covers, you are so gorgeous, and I’m not usually a fan of yellow book covers. *grabs*

20. Playing Hooky (Paranormal Investigations #1) – Rita Webb
Playing Hooky - Rita Webb
Thoughts: Dude, if a unicorn showed up at my door, I would totally play hooky. JUSTIFIED. There is leave for bereavement or pregnancy, and I think unicorn leave makes perfect sense.

21. Evil Red (Aurora Sky: Vampire Hunter Novelette) – Nikki Jefford
Evil Red - Nikki Jefford
Thoughts: Wow, so this novelette is way better than the actual series covers. It has a sort of Cowboy Bebop vibe and hell yes.

22. The Vast and Brutal Sea (The Vicious Deep #3) – Zoraida Córdova
The Vast and Brutal Sea - Zoraida Cordova
Thoughts: Well, it matches the others, which is to say cheesy and boring.

23. William Shakespeare’s The Empire Striketh Back (William Shakespeare’s Star Wars #2) – Ian Doescher
The Empire Striketh Back - Ian Doescher
Thoughts: Bahaha, this is fantastic.

24. The Stratford Zoo Midnight Revue Presents Macbeth – Ian Lendler & Zak Giallongo
The Stratford Zoo - Ian Lendler and Zak Giallongo
Thoughts: A middle grade about Ed and Mufasa!

25. Grave Possession (Wraith #3) – Angel Lawson
Wraith - Angel Lawson
Thoughts: Wraith No. 3 kind of sounds like a perfume, and this is the advertisement.

26. Vicious Cycle – Katie Ashley
Vicious Cycle - Katie Ashley
Thoughts: This wins for motorcycle romance novels, because of the pun.

27. Capturing Peace – Molly McAdams
Capturing Peace - Molly McAdams
Thoughts: Bonus points for the POC love interest. Unfortunately, those aren’t enough points to counteract the ugly of this cover.

28. Now and For Never (Never #3) – Lesley Livingston
Now and For Never - Lesley Livingston
Thoughts: CAW. Way to use a stock photo I recognize from like fifteen self-pubs. Example. Come on, Penguin Canada, you can afford to spring for a unique photo!

29. One Night with an Earl (House of Trent #2.5) – Jennifer Haymore
One Night with an Earl - Jennifer Haymore
Thoughts: Pointy-toed shoes always kind of look like jester shoes to me. Interesting that they look like flats, as that doesn’t happen often on romance covers.

30. The Black Crow Conspiracy (Twelve Minutes to Midnight #3) – Christopher Edge
The Black Crow Conspiracy - Christopher Edge
Thoughts: Okay, so I am loving everything about this, including the tagline, except for the area above her eyes, which is oddly lined.

31. Deep Blue (Waterfire Saga #1) – Jennifer Donnelly
Deep Blue - Jennifer Donnelly
Thoughts: Do mermaids really need to wear gowns? What happened to the seashells? Also, is that underwater building on fire? O_O

32. Take Back the Skies – Lucy Saxon
Take Back the Skies - Lucy Saxon
Thoughts: Okay, Bloomsbury, if you’ve gotta put your name on your covers, maybe you should make them good? This is a purple nightmare.

33. Plus One – Elizabeth Fama
Plus One - Elizabeth Fama
Thoughts: The kids from Across the Universe are now making out in a vertical, non-Spider-Man position. Weeeeeee.

Cover Battles:

1. Little White Lies – Katie Dale

Little White Lies
Little White Lies - Katie Dale

UK vs. US: Wow, those almost could not look less like the same book. Do you want creepy thriller cover or brooding contemporary? I’m personally digging the freaky UK one for its originality.

2. Infinite (Newsoul #3) – Jodi Meadows

Infinite
Infinite - Jodi Meadows

US vs. German: This poor series. This one’s not unique at all, but I still prefer the German cover to the weird mask thing happening on the US ones.

3. The Diviners (The Diviners #1) – Libba Bray

The Diviners
The Diviners (The Diviners #1) - Libba Bray

UK Original vs. UK Redesign: There are so many shitty covers in the world. Why do publishers keep redesigning the good ones to make WORSE ones. *sobs*

4. The Falconer (The Falconer #1) – Elizabeth May

The Falconer
The Falconer (The Falconer, #1) by Elizabeth May
The Falconer - Elizabeth May Italy

UK vs. US vs. Italian: What is happening here? As the other covers indicate, the heroine of The Falconer is a ginger. Also, she doesn’t walk around a forest filled with butterflies while carrying a birdcage. Italian cover, huuuuh?

5. I Am the Weapon (The Unknown Assassin #1) – Allen Zadoff

Boy Nobody
I Am the Weapon - Allen Zadoff

Hardback vs. Paperback: Here we have the worst and biggest of redesigns: the series style AND title change. Boy Nobody is becoming I Am the Weapon, because apparently that first title was too subtle.

6. Liar, Liar (Best Friends Forever #1) – Dawn Pendleton

Liar, Liar
Liar, Liar (Best Friends Forever #2) - Dawn Pendleton

Original vs Redesign: TOO BUSY. Everything about this is less pleasant to look at. The font is bad, but on the plus side it’s hard to read?

7. The Edge of Falling – Rebecca Serle

The Edge of Falling - Rebecca Serle
The Edge of Falling - Rebecca Serle UK

US vs. UK: So your options are pre-fall looking down or mid-fall looking up. Quite a different angle. I kinda like both, though the US one makes me think that there’s no place like home.

8. Proxy (Proxy #1) – Alex London

Proxy Hardcover
Proxy - Alex London

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: When I first looked at this, I totally thought it was for some between-the-books novella, but it’s a redesign. *sighs*

9. Guardian (Proxy #2) – Alex London

Guardian (Proxy, #2) Alex London
Guardian - Alex London

Take 1 vs. Take 2: The shade of blue makes the redesign remind me of the Unwind series. Though neither cover is perfect for me, I prefer the first set for this series, I think.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. The Revealed (Flawed #2) – Lara Henley
The Revealed by Lara Henley
Thoughts: A girl, who happens to look like a really bitchy girl I went to high school with is in a three-way with ghost twins!

2. The Wrenchies – Farel Dalrymple
The Wrenchies - Farel Dalrymple
Thoughts: Dear graphic novel cover, you are many kinds of terrifying and will haunt my dreams tonight.

3. Downton Tabby – Chris Kelly
Downton Tabby - Chris Kelly
Thoughts: This is quite eye-CATching. I already have the perfect song for the Christmas episode!

35 responses to “Cover Snark (89): The One Written on a Snow Day in Atlanta”

  1. Ellis says:

    1. If not for that ridiculous teal heart, I might have really liked this cover. Worst decision in the world.

    2. I wish talking with Eden about this trend yesterday. All I have to say to that is: Of Elks and Fishs.

    4. Still looks like a placeholder. Or indeed an e-novella cover. Stupid reasons are stupid and insulting.

    5. The colour is all wrong. I don’t know, this magenta doesn’t work for me.

    8. The height difference between these two! Seriously, if they’re both nekkid (which will inevitably happen), her forehead just reaches his pecs. Should make sexy times interesting.

    7. His hands are so awkward. For reals. Look at the way he’s holding her! His hand look like claws!

    8. Of Elks and Fishs. (But I kinda like the cover.)

    13. This gives me flashbacks to The School for Good and Evil tbh.

    14. This series is STILL ongoing? Dafuq. The way he’s handling his guitar looks like he’s unfastening his belt. A MULTI-TASKER. Agreed on the wardrobe. It makes these covers not terrible. I want her boots. I almost had shoes like that but I didn’t have enough money on me at the time, and when I went back, they were out of stock. Whomp whomp.

    16. Oh goody, another “rich kids with problems and mysteries” series from her. Pass.

    17. Come on. This is NA. In all honesty, what is the possibility that this probability doesn’t actually become reality? (Yes, I’m proud of that sentence.)

    18. See, Kagawa? Do you understand now why we think your latest cover is more suited for an e-novella?

    22. Whatever that thing in the middle is, it sure looks fake as hell.

    23. lul

    26. How about a VISCOUS CYCLE, huh?

    33. I don’t know why but this cover is giving me EVERYTHING and it’s so glorious.

    CB 3. NO. SO MUCH NO. FUCKING NO. THE UK COVER WAS OUR LAST HOPE AND NOW THEY’VE TAKEN IT WHY OH CRUEL WORLD I HATE YOU.

    CB 4. Oh, you know how gingers say they’re Venetian blonde when someone calls them gingers? Maybe that’s only a thing in Belgium. Well, I guess someone took the blonde part a little too literally and ugh, I don’t like the Italian cover AT ALL. The US one is growing on me, though, especially since I saw pictures of physical ARCs. I think it’s the fanned-out hair. It’s mesmerising. Maybe this is how the Italians think of Scotland, yo!

    CB 8. Redesigns. need. to. stop. They’re obviously not improvements.

    WTF 3. OMG. Bahahahaha. What even. JUST LOOK AT THAT SECOND CAT ON THE LEFT.
    Ellis recently posted…Coming Attractions: Fan Art by Sarah TregayMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. I’m really tired of hearts on covers. Like, it’s Sarra Manning. That it’s about romance is NOT surprising.

      2. Now that book I would read.

      4. Exactly. Now, I know people on covers usually aren’t my favorite, but the fact that they had a person on the cover that was not Asian and then redesigned to wallpaper? FUCKING INSULTING.

      5. The magenta really doesn’t work on the weird white and grey background. I do not like.

      6. I always wonder this when short girls hook up with tall guys. No kissing during sex. EVER.

      7. Ha, it’s like the holds in the first lifts in The Cutting Edge.

      8. I kinda like it, but I do feel like I’m in Soviet Russia. I didn’t read the blurb. Maybe I am in Soviet Russia.

      13. I see that. Only this is worrrrse.

      14. I know. I actually kind of like most of these, and I hate myself for it. The clothes are just so pretty! AND YES THOSE BOOTS.

      17. Alliteration!!!

      18. bahahahaha

      22. I think a spear? It looks more realistic than the items on the other covers.

      26. Viscous cycles are the worst of cycles.

      33. really? I am the only one who snorted when I saw this apparently.

      CB3. LIBBA BRAY CLEARLY ANGERED SOMEONE.

      CB4. Venetian blonde? WTF.I think I like the US one best. I just find the face of the UK model upsetting for some reason. Otherwise, I love that one.

      CB8. WHYYYYY.

      WTF3. It’s doing such a good job of being Maggie Smith that I’m kind of afraid.

  2. 3. It may be boring, but I like it, it’s pretty and catches my eye.

    4. I thought this was a novella cover. Not a good sign.

    5. Love this! I don’t even care what it is about I want it!

    6. Her outfit really bothers me. The tilted elevator bothers me. The look on her face bothers me. In short, this cover bothers me.

    11. I am so tired of the creepy weird looking evil eyes.

    14. WTF is up with the tattoos? So obviously fake and even if they looked real they are oddly placed.

    16. Pretty view of NYC ruined by ugly aqua font.

    20. I’ll give you playing hooky for unicorns, but this cover is terrible.

    23. This looks awesome. It’s also a cool concept except I’m afraid to read it because what if it’s awesomely bad not good?

    31. This reminds me of The Little Mermaid in her wedding dress. Except less awesome.

    33. Ugh, no.

    CB2. These covers are all sorts of terrible. On the German cover she looks like she has some sort of disease.

    CB3. The UK redesign is the worst yet. The original US one is still my favorite and I am all kinds of irritated that the redesigned it.

    CB5. I hate cover redesigns but title changes should just not ever happen. It’s confusing to readers and just plain wrong. You may have picked a crappy title to start with, but you just need to live with it!

    CB7. I like the UK one a lot more.
    Kimberly @ On the WIngs of Books recently posted…Review * Shatter Me by Tahereh MafiMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      3. The light in the lamp actually hurts my eyes, so I’m not a fan. But I’m glad it works for you.

      4. Me too, at first, until I read that bit at the bottom.

      6. She’s so fancy and he’s so schlubby.

      11. Me as well.

      14. And random items! A rose, an American flag. UGH.

      16. I actually love the font color, but I’m not sure about the actual font.

      20. ’tis true, though I can’t not love the unicorn part, but her head’s hanging in the sky over the unicorn and I don’t know why.

      23. I’m also afraid to read it. I think it’s a rewrite of the story in Shakespearean language and I would probably rather rewatch the movies.

      33. Yay! I’m not the only one that this doesn’t work for.

      CB3. The US redesign is worse than this one IMO.

      CB5. Title changes are fucking confusing. How many fans will buy a duplicate of the book they already own?

  3. 1. Underwhelmed is such a good word for this cover.

    2. LOL very Fallen-ish. Although I do like her dress.

    3. I don’t like the light effect on this… maybe it will work better in print?

    4. Pretty but I agree, it does really look like an enovella cover. This series needs some consistent covers (with a POC!)

    5. Ohhh I like this! Except for the limb-type action going on.

    6. Digging how this actually looks like a teenage couple (although maybe more 19-20 than 17)! Although…. it is kind of a weird cover once you read the description – it says she has been avoiding her ex for 5 months! Unless it’s telling the reader that they get back together in the end.

    8. Beautiful cover!

    9. That’s some serious shadow on her cleavage, LOL.

    10. AWESOME!!

    14. LOL. Looks like at some point they started using the same elements of the tattoos in other spots. Not done very well.

    15. I like this one, but that may be because it’s PURPLE!

    21. Love this cover style!

    33. OK I love the colors and concept buuuut it just looks to me like they are sucking on each other’s lips haha

    OMG Downton Tabby is HILARIOUS!
    Rachelia (Bookish Comforts) recently posted…{Talk Back} Pretty Is As Pretty Does: Bookish VersionMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      3. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s TOO shiny.

      9. Indeed.

      33. It looks like she’s literally inhaling him.

  4. Annie says:

    The guy on the Proxy series kind of looks like Eminem.

    And as way to soft and girlie as the Italian Falconer cover is, I do kind of love that dress.
    Annie recently posted…the fall of CamelotMy Profile

  5. Whitley says:

    #14: Bahahahahaha, I will never not laugh at how random those tattoos are.

    Liar, Liar: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some of those pined-up photos on a pamphlet for a church summer camp…
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  6. Bekka says:

    I just came here straight from seeing the Plus One cover reveal. I knew it would be here, and I knew I could unload here. That is the ugliest, worst thing I’ve ever actually seen on a cover. IT IS THE WORST.
    Bekka recently posted…Book Review: Grim Edited by Christine JohnsonMy Profile

  7. Stormy says:

    #3–I like the *idea* of this cover, but yeah, it’s fairly boring. I dislike the light. I think with more color I could really like it.

    #6–That’s quite the. . . interesting outfit the girl’s wearing. I thought the tank top over plain white shirts went out a few years ago(with good reason).

    #8–could they have chosen a more boring font for the title?

    #10–I love this. A lot.

    #15–This one too! I approve.

    #31–yup, that totally looks like a fire. I would love to see an explanation for *that*.

    #33–This weirds me out a lot. I’d be okay with the faces if they weren’t so obvious. Like if it was just two silhouettes instead of supposedly kissing faces in MY face with their eyebrows and noses.

    CB3–WHY is this happening? Poor book. I haven’t read it, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t deserve such disappointing cover changes.
    Stormy recently posted…Bleat Bleat. I’m A Sheep!My Profile

  8. 4. I seriously did think it was an enovella cover. Fail.

    9. MY MAAAAAAAAAAAMA WAAAAAAAAS A TAAAAAAILORRRRR. SHE SEEEEEEEEWED MY NEEEEW BLUE JEEEEEEEANS. MY FAAAAAAAATHER WAS A… GAMBLIN’ MAAAAAN… WAY DOWN… IN NEEEEEW ORLEEEEEEANS. (You brought this on yourself.)

    14. I would be far more interested if SHE ended up being the one bad for HIM.

    20. Wait… I think this might be self-pubbed, and that cover looks refreshingly not self-pub-like.

    23. YES YES YES YES YES.

    27. Also, neck grabs make me feel very uncomfortable. It’s too possessive.

    32. Ugh, no. Please try again and match the description this time, yes?

    33. *pets Sol and D’Arcy*

    CB7. I like the second one much better. Less Oz, prettier colors.
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Review: THE DEAD IN THEIR VAULTED ARCHES by Alan BradleyMy Profile

  9. Gillian says:

    2. It’s like if the Fallen cover had a baby with the Starcrossed covers. And she’s embarrassed.

    3. It’s grate! Iron you going to read it?

    5. I wish this looked more like needlepoint, but still, I think this is cool (thanks for making me see the worms now, Christina).

    9. Mothers, tell your children now/ not to thrust their boobs at me/ spend their lives in war and gingery/ in the House of the Rising Sun

    10. Can’t tell if am frightened or awwing

    14. LOLOLOLOL at his fake and random tattoos!!

    15. Ooo! I like!

    16. *eye roll*

    19. Purdyyyy.

    24. Bahahahah i wonder which part Ed plays

    25. WRAITH NO. 3 THE PERFUME. I JUST CHOKED. OMG.

    27. This cover makes me uncomfortable. Yayyy, POC, boooo creepy violent title and creepy threatening pose.

    29. I think they maybe be kitten heels, but i like pointy-toed shoes. I really like the colors on this.

    31. HOW IS THE UNDERWATER BUILDING ON FIRE??

    CB2. I actually like the US covers. And while I like the green stuff happening on the edge of the German cover, her eye makeup is squicking me out.

    CB3. Why why why why why why why why

    CB4. I think the Italian cover is pretty, but for an entirely different book. Also, don’t tell Ellis, but i like the US cover best I think

    CB5. UM WHAT. WHY IN THE WORLD?

    CB6. OW MY EYE BALLS

    CB7. I much prefer the UK one. The US ones makes me a bit nauseous.

    CB8. STOPPIT DESIGNERS STOPPIT COOL DOWN

    WTF1. Really ugly ghost twins!

    WTF2. WHAT THE SHIT. WHY ARE THESE TERRIFYING, DEFORMED DEMON CHILDREN ATTACKING AND WHY IS THAT ONE SWORD COVERED IN PINK GUNK AND OH MY GOD SOMEONE IS FLYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND THAT BLUE WOLF CREATURE HELP HELP

    WTF3. *craughs forever*
    Gillian recently posted…How Mood Reading is Both the Best and Worst ThingMy Profile

  10. As always, fun!

    I almost like Of Sea and Stone but there’s something about the image that doesn’t seem real. The girl looks photoshopped onto the cover…

    I love Sweet Unrest. I love the clear gate and blurry background!

    The Forever Song is pretty dull to me.

    I still love Stitching Snow.

    Also, what’s up with tattoo on guys on book covers?

    Evil Red is great!

    Okay, I love Plus One. I loved Across the Universe, and I love this cover too. It’s kind of creepy and messes with my head a little which is great.

    WHY DID THEY REDO BOY NOBODY. That was an awesome, gorgeous cover they had! I loved it’s subtlety, plus, rule of thirds! I don’t understand the rationale.

    The US hardback for Proxy is so good. I would pick it up just based on the cover. I can’t say the same for the paperback.

    As always, great post!
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  11. 2. I’ll take her dress!

    3. Pretty gate, meh cover.

    4. I agree, it looks like an enovella cover and that sticker (BETTER BE A STICKER I CAN PULL OFF) is tacky as hell. Plus I’m pretty sure Talon’s font on that sticker isn’t going to match what ends up on the cover. (I saw cover concepts for it. You’d think all of them are boring.)

    5. This just bores me. But maybe that’s the point. It wants me to be bored and not see that Apple is taking over the world. APPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE! (I like to dramatically scream that in my head. Silly Apple monster.)

    6. Can I have her outfit? I might reduce the heel size by an inch, but I’d totally wear her stuff.

    7. Things to do while cutting out hearts for the Valentine’s Day event include take a break to fake kissing behind one. Because that always livens up the party a little.

    9. Her face scares me, but I want her hair. Can I have a wig like that?

    13. HOLY SHIT, WE WERE DISCUSSING THIS SERIES AND ITS TOYS IN MY GENDER STUDIES CLASS TODAY AND SOMEONE SAID THE EXACT SAME THING ABOUT THEM BEING BARBIE/BRATZ HYBRIDS. She was showing us how people pitch female-targeted toys and I couldn’t help but notice one of the darker dolls was a rebel because she wanted to do stuff herself.

    14. That snake should be poised to take a bite out of his belly button, not the American flag. That would be a lot funnier. Also surprised the snake doesn’t go down into his pants. He clearly didn’t plan that tattoo well.

    21. AGREED.

    22. I love how this series stars boys and in this last book where they’re fighting for the throne, that conflict is represented on the cover by a massive phallic symbol. It ALWAYS comes back to the penis.

    24. I knew before I even looked at your comments that you were doing to go Lion King on it. I KNEW IT. It was still just as funny.

    26. He reminds me a little bit of Adam Levine. So no. No.

    28. They’ve been using stock covers from the same series for this entire series! Silly Canadian Penguin.

    31. THE FIRE IS DROWNING. QUICK, SOMEONE SAVE IT. Also, if I remember right, the publisher put together everything about it (characters, storyline, etc.) and then contracted Donnelly to write it. Packaged, in a way. Kinda.

    33. I dig the stars and the colors, so I approve! I was wondering when they were going to unveil this cover. It’s been a while.

    3. I guess I’m a weird duck because I really, really like the redesign. The fonts aren’t the greatest, but it works for me.

    4. The girl on the Italian cover is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too skinny. Scary skinny. I still think the US cover is really dull and want nothing to do with it.

    7. I like what the US cover is going form but it takes me a while to find the author’s name and the book’s name every single time. Never gets any easier.

    8 and 9. WHY DID THEY REDESIGN THIS? The original covers were GREAT and SHINY and UNIQUE and damn it Penguin, all of your cover designers are way too fucking drunk and you need to let them go sleep it off.

  12. I VOTE FOR DOWNTON TABBY AS THE COVER OF THE WEEK
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  13. Dahlia Adler says:

    Love love love the covers for SWEET UNREST (like, kinda think it’d make a cool poster in my living room), STITCHING SNOW, and OF SCARS AND STARDUST. (And no, the latter is not Soviet, but having read the manuscript I have to say I think it’s utterly perfect for the setting. This is one of my favorite manuscripts I’ve read, and I’ve read a ton.)

    I’m sort of cracking up about the LIAR, LIAR redesign, because, why? Why did that even happen? The old cover was actually cute, and I say this as someone who did not care for the book. Now I feel like I’m on acid.
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    • Christina Franke says:

      We do not have the same taste in covers either. I try to snark them all, unless I’m too wowed, so it can be hard to tell (I think), but yeahhhh.

      I don’t get the Liar, Liar redesign either. The first was serviceable and this one’s a hot mess. Then again, major publishers mess up redesigns even more often than self-pubs/indies.

  14. Bonnie says:

    4. I really dislike this. It’s so BORING.
    10. Yeah that’s completely freaking me out.
    13. They totally freaking looking like Bratz dolls. I hate those things.
    14. Those are seriously the most ridiculous looking tattoos I have ever seen. Why does that music note have a scythe looking thing on the top? Lol
    18. Is there some rule that says novella covers must be boring?
    30. It looks like her eyebrows are growing in CRAZY.
    31. LOL Fire. Underwater. Seems legit.

    Cover Battles
    3. Gah. Someone tell them to stop. Leave this series alone.
    5. Wait. They changed the title? I fail to understand the need to confuse people like this.
    7. I really love that UK one. But… so, she already fell? That’s why she’s looking up? lol
    Bonnie recently posted…Early Review – The Enchanted by Rene DenfeldMy Profile

  15. Kayla Beck says:

    9. That is quite the unfortunate cover.

    10. It’s the Krampus!

    18. Is the little android a star?

    19. I dread the US cover of this, but I can’t see it getting much worse than the arrow ass.

    20. Unicorn leave is totally legit.

    22. Well, then. That’s almost phallic.

    28. Just wait until tomorrow. You’re going to swallow your tongue with a Big 6 reveal. This picture is incredibly popular.

    29. If those were really flats, I’d wear them.

    WTF3. If this comes as a physical book, I’m buying it for my aunt.
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Internal Review: The Way of Shadows by Brent WeeksMy Profile

  16. Oh lord, thank you as always for the non-stop giggles and for making us privy to your thoughts..awesome!
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  17. Angie F. says:

    1. It’s so bright and cute! I like it. 😀

    2. But Fallen has such pretty covers!!! Except for that one with the super skinny arms…

    6. If I wore pants, I would want this outfit.

    9. Boobies. That was seriously my first thought.

    13. Adorable! I was obsessed with Bratz dolls for most of high school.

    14. It would have be awesome if that snake looked like it was coming out of his pants…

    15. Humming bird! My favoooorite!!!

    20. I want.

    21. Valerie is kind of a bad ass, so she needed a more bad ass cover.

    27. Hello there hot, tattooed Asian boy.

    28. Yep, totally seen her everywhere.

    33. Super weird…but I like it?

    Battles
    2. I love them both, but I have a soft spot for the US covers.

    4. I like the Italian cover, but for a different book. US wins!

    5. Hardcover.

    7. Both of these make me feel sick.

    8. Hardcover!

    WTF
    3. HAHAHAHHAHAHA! That grey one in the black dress looks like the cat that was stalking me the other morning.
    Angie F. recently posted…Review: When You Give a Duke a Diamond (Jewels of the Ton, #1) by Shana GalenMy Profile

  18. Lynn K. says:

    Nice touch with the infinity symbol for The Forever Song but it just lacks oomph! I thought it was a placeholder when I say it in the HLQ Teen magazine months back.

    The new Diviners cover looks pretty okay, except that the shadows on her face makes her look terrifying and bearded!!

  19. Katie says:

    “Pretty sure her hand is on her head because she’s afraid that she’s ended up on a Fallen cover.” <– I thought it WAS a Lauren Kate book until I scrolled and saw a different name. Haha!
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  20. 1. This cover has the vibe of ‘the perks of being a wallflower.’
    3. It would be cool to have a textured ‘sweet unrest.’
    4. Hmmm. I agree, it looks more like the cover for a novella.
    5. I like it. It’s strange.
    7. All these covers all the same. Boring.
    10. LOVE IT. Strange Chemistry is on the roll with good covers.
    13. Hahaha. I think it’s cute 🙂
    18. Type of cover I expect for a novella. I like it.
    19. Looks great with the other covers. I appreciate it when covers from series look good together.
    23. Awesome 😀
    30. Pretty.
    31. The burning castle surprises me, but I still think it’s stunning. The color scheme is nice.
    33. I like it!

    Battles:
    UK one for sure. I prefer creepy over contemporary-lookish.
    I’m going with the US one. There are at least pretty colors.
    UK original, without doubt. WHY redesign 🙁
    The Italian cover isn’t bad, but it doesn’t match with this book. I like the UK one.

    Downtown Tabby *snort*
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  21. 3. I actually don’t think this one is boring. I love how there is a blurred out plantation home in the background. Like the typography a lot too. I would DEFINITELY pick this one up in a store. The only thing that would have made it better for me is a little more green to the grayish-green hue.

    5. Love this. What do you mean by stitching being a technological term. Because the apple looks more like wires than sewing? I am confused.

    9. Oh my god, I want this book.

    12. Reminds me of Kowloon Walled City. I like it.

    24. On first glance, I thought Ed was a severed head.

    33. Agree with your comparisons and I do see the similarities, but I also love this just the same.

    OMG I Can’t help it. I love the Dowton Tabby cover!

    Why no cover of the week? That’s my favorite part!! 🙁
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  22. 4. I didn’t even see the Infinity symbol. But I thoroughly dislike this cover. 1) Because like you said, they avoided to put a POC on the cover (it’s why I own the UK paperback for the second book, even though the cover is kind of ugly in all it’s purpleness) 2) It’s BORING and it does indeed look like a novella book cover and 3) THAT STUPID STICKER OMG why would they put that on a cover. I hate stickers on my books. I will be buying the UK version anyway but I’m hoping they don’t have the sticker.
    Rant over, lol.

    5. Okay, I’m excited for this book but this cover could have been so much better. Ugh. Every book that I’ve been excited for lately have gotten not so great covers (in my opinion).

    7. The heart is quite silly but I actually like this cover.

    14. OH MY THOSE TATTOO”S. Laughing so hard right now. I do agree on the dress. Gimme now!

    16. Okay, why is almost the entire photo so blurry? Or is that just me? Only the bottom is clear. But also, what I’m thinking is ‘coming soon on TV’. It’s Sara Shepard after all.

    33. Okay, I don’t like kissing couples on my covers but this is somewhat different so I like it. BUT something is creeping me out: when I looked closely I saw that they are not kissing, she is sucking/eating him, because you can only see his face until his nose. The rest is just sky haha. I don’t think they could have done this differently but still, it’s creepy. Look at her mouth! Reading this anyway because I loved Monstrous Beauty.

    CB2. The covers don’t make sense no, but I still think they are pretty so I voted US.

    CB3. Crying over redesigns.

    WTF3. SO MUCH LOL.
    Kim @ The Nomadic Book Hoarder recently posted…Review: GracelingMy Profile

  23. Brandy says:

    #10 Umm yes, your assessment is perfect. And I absolutely CAN NOT WAIT to read this book.

    #13 You should see the actual dolls…They are made by Mattel so…It works on the target audience. My daughter and all her little friends are all into these books. I have vetoed the dolls coming into the house. I was less than impressed with the execution of the first story. I’m rapidly losing faith in Shannon Hale.

    #15 Crane? If you say so. I fail at abstract art stuff. Good to know I’m not the only one driven to read every word put in front of me no matter what the format.

    #33 It took them this long to come up with that cover? Color me disappointed.
    Brandy recently posted…Black DogMy Profile

  24. Meg says:

    1. HOLD UP THERE’S A NEW SARRA MANNING? *goes to GR* *sees book on TBR* Oh, I knew that apparently. Also, yes to underwhelming cover.

    2. Nothing against pretty dresses, but can we be done with that cover trend now?

    3. I like the birds, but agree it is disappointing that it’s an avoidance tactic re: POC covers and that’s no good.

    5. I like this one too. I hope the final cover is embossed. Or has real worms. That would be cool. No it wouldn’t, that’d be super gross. I take it back.

    6. Is it just me or does it look like she’s pushing him away? I’m imagining that 5 seconds after this picture was taken she shoved him and then followed it up with a roundhouse kick to the face, Buffy-style.

    9. Hey boobage.

    10. LOVE. LOVE LOVE LOVE. MOAR ILLUSTRATION COVERS.

    23. EVEN MORE LOVE. I WANT THIS ON A TSHIRT

    26. $10 says this is how Bieber thinks he looks.

    31. MERMAAAIIIIIDS. I’m with you on the gowns, seems like it’d make swimming super-obnoxious. Maybe the fire is Napalm-based, I think that can burn underwater. Maybe.

    33. Awww, night and day are making out. I’m not entirely sure why, but I like this.

    WTF 1: I’m pretty sure TVD did this exact shot for some earlier season promos. And by pretty sure, I mean as positive as I can be without googling for reference.

    WTF 3: STFU MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING. INTERNET, DID YOU MAKE THIS?!?
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  25. Lyn Kaye says:

    2. This one made my day – the cover, your comment…..love it.
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  26. Skyla says:

    I didn’t know that Once Every Never was going to be a trilogy and now I do and I hate the idea of it.

    I love the cover for Downton Abbey, Earth Flight and some of those awesome UK covers.

    As always your comments on the covers makes me laugh.

  27. Angel says:

    Thanks for including Grave Possession in your snarky list. It’s always an honor! And i hope you had an awesome snow day/week. and didn’t get stuck in the drama.
    -al
    Angel recently posted…I have thoughts about Harry PotterMy Profile

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