Cover Snark (82): The One with a Fortnight’s Worth of Covers

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Since I missed last week (thanks a lot, illness), this covers the last two weeks. May you all have a healthy and snarky holiday season!

Shiny and New:

1. The Seers (Holders #2) – Julianna Scott
The Seers - Julianna Scott
Thoughts: Isn’t the reason a question would ever be dangerous is because of the answers that might result? This would be better without the eyes. I am so sick of free-floating eyes and faces on book covers.

2. Morningside Fall (Legends of the Duskwalker #2) – Jay Posey
Morningside Fall - Jay Posey
Thoughts: Why does covering a creepy person’s eyes make them inordinately creepier? WHY? *scrolls down*

3. Peacemaker – Marianne de Pierres
Peacemaker - Marianne de Pierres
Thoughts: A city guarded by a gigantic woman and eagle, horses that run on water, and chocolate bars which fly through the sky. Well, that’s interesting.

4. Return to You (Letters to Nowhere #3) – Julie Cross
Return to You - Julie Cross
Thoughts: Are they trying to return an opened letter to sender? BAD FORM.

5. The Anatomy of Dreams: A Novel – Chloe Benjamin
The Anatomy of Dreams by Chloe Benjamin
Thoughts: I love this, flashbacks to elementary school and chalkboards aside. Ugh, I still shudder to think of the feeling of chalk between my fingers and the sound the chalk made on the blackboard.

6. Because of Ellison – M.S. Willis
Because of Ellison - M.S. Willis
Thoughts: You hear that, dog? That girl challenged you, so bite her ankle and never let go.

7. The Road – Jay McLean
The Road - Jay McLean
Thoughts: This girl is going to be incredibly sunburned and have blisters like whoa. Not to mention the weggie those tiny shorts are probably giving her. At least she has sunglasses, though she’s not WEARING them. Silliness aside, I really like the color palette for this cover.

8. Empower (The Violet Eden Chapters #5) – Jessica Shirvington
Empower - Jessica Shirvington
Thoughts: Um, no to all of this, particularly the wings, but at least I have a reason to go listen to Queen. *gets lost in the 70s outfits* You know, she’s not dressed entirely unlike Freddie Mercury. Maybe this was intentional.

9. Phenomenal X (Hard Knocks #1) – Michelle A. Valentine
Phenomenal X - Michelle A. Valentine
Thoughts: Annie’s aged…interestingly.

10. Take a Chance (Chance #1) – Abbi Glines
Take a Chance - Abbi Glines
Thoughts: Huh, the German cover came out first. That’s unusual for an American book. Roman is the German word for novel, icydk. The placement of the publisher’s name is unfortunate. Totally looks like her butt’s named Piper. I do like her lacy shirt. Sometimes I wish I could shop from book covers.

11. Moonshine – Regina Bartley
Moonshine - Regina Bartley
Thoughts: Fragments written… A tagline happened…. An ellipsis is abused…

12. Survival Colony Nine – Joshua David Bellin
Survival Colony Nine - Joshua David Bellin
Thoughts: Dudes, a shadow has a shadow. This is so trippy. Also, if the only person in this colony is a shadow, I’m not sure if “Survival” is the right name for it. Also, am I the only one who hates numbers in titles because of the resulting confusion over whether the title is “Blah 9″ or Blah Nine”? This frustrates me greatly.

13. The Secret Side of Empty by Maria E. Andreu
The Secret Side of Empty by Maria E. Andreu
Thoughts: The Non-Secret Side of Empty has many more bicycles. It’s like Amsterdam. (I do not think these people know what “empty” means.)

14. Courage for Beginners – Karen Harrington
Courage for Beginners - Karen Harrington
Thoughts: This is adorable, but the heart-shaped balloon borders on too cutesy. I am over heart shapes on things.

15. The Double Life of Incorporate Things (Magic Most Foul #3) – Leanna Renee Hieber
The Double Life of Incorporate Things by Leanna Renee Hieber
Thoughts: It is awesome how the map laid over her face makes her look skeletal.

16. Lies My Girlfriend Told Me – Julie Anne Peters
Lies My Girlfriend Told Me – Julie Anne Peters
Thoughts: Is that your girlfriend? She’s kinda scary. That is not the most trustworthy face. I’m just saying. Or is it you? Is this your “you lied to me, bitch!” face? If so, I promise I will not lie to you, so do not hurt me.

17. Shadowboxer (Tapped Out #1) – Cari Quinn
Shadowboxer - Cari Quinn
Thoughts: How rude! She just wants to punch you and you keep trying to kiss her. This is how you get kneed in the balls, sir.

18. Donners of the Dead – Karina Halle
Donners of the Dead - Karina Halle
Thoughts: Donner, party of five. Er, four. Or is this about someone making a suit out of people, like Mr. Burns did out of puppies?

19. Salt (Salt #1) – Danielle Ellison
Salt - Danielle Ellison
Thoughts: You never know when you’ll buy french fries and they won’t be salty enough. BE PREPARED AT ALL TIMES.

20. Vipers Run (Skulls Creek) – Stephanie Tyler
Vipers Run (Skulls Creek #2) - Stephanie Tyler
Thoughts: “Take the ride of your life.” ICYMI, they’re not talking about the hog; they mean the inevitably sexist pig.

21. Picture Perfect (Geek Girl #3) – Holly Smale
Picture Perfect (Geek Girl, #3) by Holly Smale
Thoughts: This is one of those series where I totally can’t tell the books apart, since they all look like they’re titled Geek Girl, since it’s largest on the cover. Also, they’re just a silly face with stuff written on it. There’s so much to be done with geekery. I am disappoint.

22. Stolen Songbird (The Malediction Trilogy #1) – Danielle L. Jensen
Stolen Songbird - Danielle L. Jensen
Thoughts: What is that comma doing in the tagline. It just doesn’t seem necessary. This also isn’t winning for realism, but I do like the glass rose.

23. Fool Me Twice – Mandy Hubbard
Fool Me Twice - Mandy Hubbard
Thoughts: These If Only covers are such a hot mess. The drawn background, cartoonish text and absurd poses. Nope nope nope.

24. Mean Boys – Barbie Hall
Mean Boys - Barbie Hall
Thoughts: His hair and eyebrows do not match. I am mistrustful of this. Also, his hair is dyed to match the wallpaper.

25. The Blue-Haired Boy – Courtney C. Stevens
The Blue-Haired Boy - Courtney C. Stevens
Thoughts: These poor people with the treeplague. Or, actually, I guess he shared this disease with the girl on the Faking Normal cover, since this is a prequel. Rude!

26. Misbehaving (Sea Breeze #6) – Abbi Glines
Misbehaving - Abbi Glines
Thoughts: She must tower over him with those heels on.

27. Whisper (Whisper Trilogy #1) – Chelsea M. Cameron
Whisper - Chelsea M. Cameron
Thoughts: So, it’s Ghost? Only, based on the penny in the foreground, I’m thinking she falls in love with the ghost of Lincoln. A TWEEEEEEST.

28. Behind the Scenes – Dahlia Adler
Behind the Scenes - Dahlia Adler
Thoughts: These photos were not taken by the most-skilled of photographers. Chopping the subjects’ heads off two photos out of three. Tsk tsk.

29. The Kraken King (Iron Seas #4) – Meljean Brook
The Kraken King (Iron Seas, #4) by Meljean Brook
Thoughts: So cute! I love when steampunk novels do something aside from the gears, dirigible and two people posing formula.

30. Robot Uprisings – Daniel H. Wilson & John Joseph Adams, eds.
Robot Uprising
Thoughts: For a nicely done cover, I have absolutely nothing to say about this. It’s just kinda like “yup, those are some robots alright.”

31. Black Dog – Rachel Neumeier
Black Dog - Rachel Neumeier
Thoughts: That looks more like a werewolf than a black dog, ngl. Also, lol, it’s face.

32. Fearful Symmetries – Ellen Datlow, ed.
Fearful Symmetries -c Ellen Datlow, ed.
Thoughts: Oooh, I love how the names are fading off the side, except for how much that sucks for the authors whose names are fading off the edge.

33. Archer’s Sin (Hearts and Thrones #2.5) – Amy Raby
Archer's Sin - Amy Raby
Thoughts: Someone’s about to get an arrow to the man parts.

34. The Haunted Library – Dori Hillestad Butler
The Haunted Library - Dori Hillestad Butler
Thoughts: I feel like these characters would have really grating voices. I do like the fat-faced cat going “Whuh?” though.

35. Extinction Game – Gary Gibson
Extinction Game - Gary Gibson
Thoughts: I’ve totally seen this movie.

36. Fat Boy vs. the Cheerleaders – Geoff Herbach
Fat Boy vs. the Cheerleaders - Geoff Herbach
Thoughts: That’s a weird name for a soda.

37. The Last Stand of the New York Institute (The Bane Chronicles #9) – Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, & Maureen Johnson
The Last Stand of the New York Institute
Thoughts: He has a face after all. How thrilling.

38. Third Daughter (The Dharian Affairs Trilogy #1) – Susan Kaye Quinn
Third Daughter - Susan Kaye Quinn
Thoughts: A steampunk novel not set in England, maybe? That would be different.

Cover Battles:

1. Divergent (Divergent #1) – Veronica Roth

Divergent - Veronica Roth. Movie tie-in edition.
Divergent by Veronica Roth

Regular Movie Tie-In vs. Adult Movie Tie-In: Apparently adults need a special movie tie-in edition of this book. Enjoy your fake flames, adults who apparently required this.

2. Crash Into You (Pushing the Limits #3) – Katie McGarry

Crash Into You (Pushing the Limits #3) - Katie McGarry
Crash Into You - Katie McGarry

UK Original vs. UK eBook: Well, it’s still not good, but ANYTHING is better than that hot mess they started with. Now let’s get that mess off the print copies!

3. Witchfall (The Tudor Witch Trilogy #2) – Victoria Lamb

Witchfall
Witchfall - Victoria Lamb

UK vs. US: One of these actually looks like it might be set in the Tudor era, so that one. The other one looks like it’s about a giant sparkly head that’s about to crush a castle.

4. Anything to Have You – Paige Harbison

Anything to Have You
Anything to Have You - Paige Harbison

US vs. UK: UK cover, I guess, since it’s not just white people hugging. Then again, I kind of like the US one because the girl reminds me of the actress in Center Stage. Hmmm.

5. Be With Me (Wait for You #2) – J. Lynn

Be With Me - J. Lynn
Be With Me - J. Lynn

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Oooh, this is waaaaaay better. I really hope this was not a trick.

6. Sky Pirates (The Chronicles of Light and Shadow #3) – Liesel Schwarz

Sky Pirates
Sky Pirates (The Chronicles of Light and Shadow #3) - Liesel Schwarz

US vs. UK: I like both of these, actually. I might actually like the UK one more for her expression, which is adorable.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to readeroffictions@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. The Best Dad Is a Good Lover – Charlie W. Shedd
The Best Dad Is a Good Lover
Thoughts: NOOOOOOOOOO.

2. Why Mommy Poisoned You
Why Mommy Poisoned You
Thoughts: Maybe because of that nonsense on the cover above?

3. I Can See Right Through You – Kelly Link
I Can See Right Through You - Kelly Link
Thoughts: And now we know how that poor poisoned child grows up. Still wearing the same outfit and everything.

Outstanding Cover of the Fortnight:

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

The Double Life of Incorporate Things by Leanna Renee Hieber

Today, welcome Alexandra (Sleeps on Tables), who has selected The Double Life of Incorporate Things by Leanna Renee Hieber. Here’s why:

“I have not read Magic Most Foul #1 and #2 but this cover for #3 makes me want to! The fact that it’s not just a girl’s face and/or eye on the cover makes it great. But DUDE that map overlay is so wicked! It’s all like “Oooooh! Miss Main Character, where ya heading?” And then you notice that the map makes a skeletal look as it overlays her face and you flip out because that’s seriously pretty rad! Now I’m wondering if she’s a zombie and she’s planning a zombie expedition because I want to be a part of that. Where can I sign up?”

To learn more or purchase: Goodreads|Amazon|TBD|B&N

38 responses to “Cover Snark (82): The One with a Fortnight’s Worth of Covers”

  1. Octavia says:

    Hilarious cover snark, as always! I have to agree with Alexandra. The Double Life of Incorporate Things is sick! I read the first book (it was meh) but this cover belongs on my shelf! I NEED IT!

  2. LOVE IT.
    And love that you used the word “fortnight.”
    Ten points to Gryffindor!
    Wandering Meander recently posted…How to Automatically Lose a StarMy Profile

  3. Kim W. says:

    Christina you’re the BEST for including two weeks worth of cover snark (I assumed you would skip last week’s covers). And yeah, stupid illness. Doesn’t it understand I need my weekly dose of snark??

    Anyway, these covers are all disappointing. There’s not one that I really love! I do like the cuteness of Courage for Beginners, and I think the heart shaped balloon is quite adorable.

    Aaah those If Only covers are SO bad. And it’s not a series or companion novels or anything so why do they have to look so similar? Blegh.

    I am really happy they changed the UK cover for Crash into You, because that was one of the worst covers imaginable. And a big yay for not using the same cover models that are on every YA/NA.
    Kim W. recently posted…Books On My Winter TBRMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Yup, I didn’t get Cover Snark up last week, because that was when I was at my sickest. I could not.

      It’s not the main cover season, so the good ones are fewer.

      Seriously, Bloomsbury has not been rocking covers lately. I’m just glad Throne of Glass and Scarlet’s sequels came out looking good.

  4. Nori says:

    What’s with the Jessica Shirvington book covers getting so sexy? I like the covers of her first books better. I feel like they went from YA, and then skipped New Adult, and went right to Romance novel covers.

    Also, I would totally buy Fat Boy Vs the Cheerleaders soda. When you finish, you get to decide who wins?

    Also, your salt comment about never leaving it at home because you never know when your french fries won’t be salty enough was the best! I do know some people who travel around with their favorite salad dressing…Maybe salad dressing can be used to fight off supernatural creatures as well.
    Nori recently posted…This Song Will Save Your Life by Leila SalesMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      I hate what they did with the Jessica Shirvington covers, too. They went from being super cutesy paranormal YA to straight up paranormal romance with the heroine busting out of her leather bustier. Uhhhh, what?

      I guess. In the mean time, they can both bribe me. I feel like fat boy would win with offers of cookies.

      Oh really? That is a serious love of salad dressing.

  5. LG says:

    #15 – It’s not that the map is making her look skeletal, it’s that there’s an image of a skull there, in addition to the map. It’s pretty cool-looking, but I kind of wish it had actually be the map making her face look skeletal.
    LG recently posted…Attack on Titan, Seasons 1-2 (anime TV series), via CrunchyrollMy Profile

  6. Judith says:

    1. Floating faces need to gtfo. (I was trying to come up with a nice alliteration, but I couldn’t think of one. Booo.)

    3. FLYING CHOCOLATE. INNNTERESTING.

    4. Why did I get a checkered-shirt book boyfriend in the mail? I clearly wanted one with stripes. Here, have him back.

    8. Don’t stop me noooowwww, I’m having such a good time! THANKS A LOT CHRISTINA.

    9. It’s a hard knock life for us, it’s a hard knock life for us. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?

    10. Roman is also Dutch for novel.

    12. This is Peter Pan-ception.

    14. I love the title. The cover is too cutesy though. They could’ve done a better job.

    15. Interesting. And a little freaky. I like.

    16. Dude, your girlfriend is obviously a freak. You should’ve known she’d lie to you.

    19. Salt (Salt #1). Pepper (Salt #2). Sugar (Salt #3)

    21. I’m also sad. These covers could be so geekalicious, but they’re very bland. Maybe the American editions will be better.

    25. How to make a YA cover? Put a person on it. How to make a YA cover that stands out? Give the person a tree on his face/body. Instant success.

    29. More covers should look like this.

    30. But THINK of all the nice robot covers they could have made! Robots are awesome! This is so bland, ugh.

    31. Hey girl. Girl. Hey. There’s this dog behind you. No, seriously. You might want to get the hell out of here. No? Okay then.

    32. This is a font treatment win.

    35. Fun fact: they showed that movie EVERY SINGLE TIME in the bus when we had a class trip. Enough already.

    37. Does this mean it’s THE LAST BOOK or are we not that lucky?

    CB 2. Still terrible. Why.

    3. IT’S SO MAGICAL AND SHINY AND WHERE IS MY UNICORN. Nope.

    5. Wait. There’s a JLA cover I actually like? Whoa there. Slow down.

    6. Her smile is adorable.

    WTF 1. EWWWWWWW NO.

    Apparently I had a lot to say this week.

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. Foating faces fail foolhardily? Fie!

      3. *jumps for chocolate*

      4. I HATE when I don’t get the mail order boyfriend I’ve ordered. Such a pain to return.

      8. YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME FOR QUEEN.

      9. Because I’m the best?

      10. See, I basically know Dutch already.

      12. He lost his shadow, and here it is with a shadow of it’s own. Whoaaaaa.

      19. I hope so.

      21. COME ON, AMERICA.

      25. This cannot fail.

      29. Is so cute.

      30. I suppose. I don’t feel all that menaced. Shouldn’t I be terrified? And it’s just one row. More robots would be scarier.

      35. Hahahahaha. So You know this well then.

      37. I don’t think so.

      CB2. But at least it’s better. If still terrible.

      CB3. I WANTS MY UNICORN.

      CB5. Right? I would pick that up. I would NOT pick up the old one.

  7. Alessandra says:

    My favourite cover of the week is The Kraken King. I also like Stolen Songbird. The Double Life of Incorporate Things totally freaks me out.
    Alessandra recently posted…Book review: Broken by C.J. LyonsMy Profile

  8. Gillian says:

    1. I would LOVE this without the eyes. But the tagline is the height of stupid. DUH the answer is more dangerous. I mean really.

    5. OOOH, I love this one.

    7. I like the colors too, but dislike that we are getting a view directly up her Daisy Dukes.

    10. It’s certainly better than the lame American Abbi Glines covers.

    15. I LOVE THE SKELETAL FACE YES

    22. That is a stupid errant, comma. I hate when, commas are just plopped in place to, create dramatic pauses. Stop, that. COOL COVER THOUGH. I am so impressed with Strange Chemistry lately.

    23. What the hell is going on here?

    31. Pretty sure that IS a werewolf? It make me laugh, though. What an awkward position.

    32. They’re not fading off the edge! That’s the mirror inverse of the name! It’s like a reflection or a shadow.

    36. “That’s a weird name for a soda.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    37. Praise the gods it’s not another hand picture. I swear that Magnus Bane has thirty seven hands and a hundred and twelve dirty fingernails.

    CB5. VAST IMPROVEMENT!!!

    CB6. Oooh, I love the UK one. SO CUTE!

    WTF1. AHHHHH WHAAAAAT NOOOO WHAT NOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    WTF2. They look so CHEERFUL about it!

    Wtf3. What the fuck? I cannot see right through your tighty whitey wedgie. Lying title.
    Gillian recently posted…Review: Vitro by Jessica KhouryMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. Asking questions can get you killed, like by Stalin, but it’s because of the ANSWERS implied by said question. Just no.

      20. “Stop, that” hurts my brain. It could be like “Sometimes, in the dead of night, one must do the unthinkable.” But, as is, it makes NO sense.

      23. Her expression. It’s like LOl me getting kissed on the cheek all the time. And the boots with the knee socks and the dress and her hair colors and her Pomeranian hair style. whyyyy.

      32. Ohhhh, it is. I was tired and sick. Give me a break.

      37. HE DOES. I mean, his face is fairly attractive so far, but HELL NO am I letting those hands anywhere near me.

      WTF3. Tighty whitey wedgie. I am so grateful I cannot see through that.

  9. Oh my gosh. I’ve seen the girl from the awesome cover for The Double Life of Incorporate Things. The picture is used in the cover for The Illicit Love of a Courtesan. It’s the same girl, just without the map over her face. See? https://www.goodreads.com/book/photo/18486894-the-illicit-love-of-a-courtesan
    The Airship Librarian recently posted…Review: Attachments by Rainbow RowellMy Profile

  10. Now that I am home and have my adorable kitty, it is time to snark some covers!

    1. That would make a really cool paperweight as long as the eyes went away. I wouldn’t want my paperweight watching me when I changed clothes.

    4. Especially after they worked so hard to stuff those people in the envelope! Stuffing people into envelopes is really hard work whether they’re awake or asleep because you drugged them. Not that I have experience with mailing people to remote areas or anything.

    6. I think that dog is mentally winking at us after having gotten a look under her skirt.

    8. These books are horrible, but I really like this cover. The pretty color scheme! So pretty! I hate the pose, though. That looks very uncomfortable, especially in those clothes.

    10. *donkey kicks*

    15. I didn’t see the face at first, but I gasped when I did because it scared me. Now my family wants to know what I’m doing. BUTT OUT. IT’S COVER-SNARKING TIME.

    18. This makes me want to watch that documentary about the Donner Party again. Seriously horrifying stuff, which means this will be even MORE horrifying. GIVE IT TO ME GOOD, KARINA.

    19. I have taken that advice and people have looked at me funny. It’s salt, not coke! Geez.

    23. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER HAIR?

    25. So treeplague is like an STD, in a way?

    38. I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO THIS COVER.

    1. Those adults are going to feel so scammed when they pick up that cover and find juvenile crap inside.

    3. The second is what happens when you go with a friend to look at some castles and then you take some acid. All of a sudden, everything is blue and your friend’s head is as big as a cloud.

    5. HOLY HELL, THEY ONLY PUT ON OF HER NAMES ON THE COVER. HOW DID– WHY– I DON’T RECOGNIZE IT. Well, I do, but it’s weird the publishers were being sensible for once.
    Ashleigh Paige recently posted…Review: Premeditated by Josin L. McQueinMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      Shadow! She has such a pretty kitty face.

      1. And now I’m severely creeped out.

      4. It’s hard enough stuffing books into envelopes. This must have been a nightmare.

      6. Not like it would be difficult to look up that skirt.

      8. Leather pants can’t be comfortable. Her pink makeup is the worst.

      19. You have spicing needs, okay? Gosh.

      23. I don’t know. I’ve seen colored streaks done well, but this is not it. Also, she looks like a little yappy dog with that hairstyle.

      25. That’s what I’m thinking.

      38. O RLY.

      1. Indeed. Enjoy your nice mature book full of sentence fragments and illogical world building.

      3. Now it all makes sense.

      5. Even though this was tweeted by some Harper thing, I’m afraid it’s a lie, because I haven’t seen it anywhere else. Just let it be real!

  11. Ellis says:

    5. Eh, I’m a little sick of “The Anatomy of” titles. I used to be all over that, but they’ve become so uninspired lately.

    6. NO. He is not allowed to ruin her boots. Bad form, Christina.

    8. What bothers me is the complete Male Gaze-ness of this cover. Let’s show her ass and her lips! Frankly, I’m surprised they didn’t enhance her boobs to reach past her arms. So, “no to all of this” is a very accurate summary of my feelings as well.

    10. Whoa. This woman just keeps writing. Good for her?

    22. The comma is there to make the whole more pensive. It could just as well have been: “Sometimes… one must do the unthinkable.” or “Sometimes… one must do… the unthinkable.” A tagline also happened here.

    23. WELL. Doesn’t HER hair look positively patriotic? LOL at that dude who seems to jump out of nowhere like those clowns-out-of-boxes thingies. Go away, dude.

    27. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN.

    31. Dear dogwolf, stretching your arms like that is not how you attack someone. It looks like you’re dancing very awkwardly. I am not scared.

    32. Um, their names are just mirrored and then fade into obscurity. All authors are on the cover. No sadsies necessary.

    37. This means it’s the last cover, right? RIGHT? God, I’m bored by these. And annoyed. It is so vair vair vexing.

    CB 1. Ugh, adults. Always so needy.

    CB 2. Nope.

    CB 3. Meh.

    CB 4. UK UK UK deeeeeefinitly UK.

    CB 5. YURS.

    CB 6. MORE YURS.

    WTF 1. EW. (I am so very sorry about the EW GERMS comment I made earlier. I didn’t mean it.)
    Ellis recently posted…Review – The SwitchMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      5. You should still read The Anatomy of a Boyfriend. It came out years ago, so give it a pass.

      6. Ew. You like cowboy boots? BAD FORM, ELLIS.

      8. Ew, I just pictured boobhands. I wonder how many comments you can make me start with ew.

      22. Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh

      23. HE DOES LOOK LIKE THAT.

      31. It looks like dogwolf is about to fall on her. Like he tripped.

      32. Shhhhh, I was sick. Still am. Give me a break.

      37. Nooooope.

  12. Angie F. says:

    15. I didn’t even notice that it was map! Now I like it! 😀

    21. I think these covers are cute, but yeah, totally can’t tell them apart.

    Battles
    1. Too many covers! I hate them all!

    2. The ebook is so much better!

    3. I actually really like them both.

    4. UK. I’m sick of people covers.

    5. I do kind of like the new one better.

    6. US. I like the airship.

    WTF.
    1. I think the title is a WTF too…

    2. I am disturbed…and entertained.

    3. Umm…

    There were a lot of boring covers this week. 🙁
    Angie F. recently posted…Life of a Blogger: TV ShowsMy Profile

  13. Kayla Beck says:

    22. This is only book to stand out to me so far, and now I just want to put a period at the end of the sentence since they put a comma there. *sigh*

    31. He needs to turn his hands outwards a little more if he’s going to do spirit fingers.

    35. I’m going to read that the day after tomorrow. *crickets*

    37. Best cover of the series – no blue swirly shit.

    WTF2. The subtitle should be “Never Spill Her Valium Vodka Cocktail”.

    WTF3. Is that one of the stills of Donnie Wahlberg right before he shoots Bruce Willis?
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Blog Tour (Interview & Giveaway): The Cutting Room Floor by Dawn KlehrMy Profile

  14. 1. I say this is a huge improvement from the first cover in the series. SOOO BORRRIINNNNGGG.

    5. WHYYYYY did you say that? Now I am hearing nails on a chalkboard. O_o

    12. I love this cover. LOVE IT.

    20. Ewww. That chest is gross.

    27. LOL. I might have to read this. I really love this cover too. It’s creepy and I am curious.

    35. OMG I thought of that movie before I even really focused on the cover. So unoriginal.

    36. Not all cheerleaders are snobs/bullies. I am over that trope. SO OVER IT.
    Kara @ Great Imaginations recently posted…Forgotten Fridays: Packing for Mars by Mary RoachMy Profile

    • Christina Franke says:

      1. They’re both pretty boring.

      5. The feel was always even worse to me. *shudders*

      12. Huh.

      20. It’s got hair on it. Bleh.

      27. Get it, Kara.

      36. We did have quite a few bitchy cheerleaders, but one of them was also one of the nicest girls in our grade.

  15. 2. Is he blind? That would be interesting.

    3. Oooh, I think this looks cool! Very retro!

    4. *sings* Retuuuuurn to send-ah! Retuuuuurn to send-ah! *doo-wops*

    6. Just based on that line, I’m guessing this is going to be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl book.

    9. Daddy Warbucks, pre-bucks? OR IS THAT ROOSTER??

    10. It’s the German cover but the title’s in English? Maybe his name is Roman and her name (and therefore her butt’s name) is Piper?

    15. She is most literally a skeleton! That is so cool.

    16. She kinda looks like a Fanning, no?

    22. Is this a Beauty and the Beast book? It looks like one. *peers* (I just looked at Goodreads. IT IS!!)

    24. He kinda looks like that jerk Thomas guy from Downton, no?

    33. She looks like Ke$ha. No me gusta.

    CB5. Whenever I see someone grabbing someone else’s forehead like that, I keep expecting them to snap their neck. Tells you what kind of books I like to read, I guess.

    WTF2. See, if that were the cover to a really kitschy yet creeptastic murder thriller, I’d be all over it. But straight up? Nope.

    WTF3. HE’S LIKE THAT KID FROM THE SIXTH SENSE! TIGHTEY-WHITEYS AND ALL!
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Top 10 Tuesday: Books on My Winter TBRMy Profile

  16. 1. It’s a shame that there is a floating eye, because the overall cover isn’t bad.
    2. Such a creepy cover!
    5. Cute! I actually miss those old days with chalk.
    7. The first time I read the title I thought it said ‘The joad’. Which sounded odd to me.
    15. This is awesome!
    21. Yes, those covers are just too similar.
    22. I really like it 🙂 Fairy tale ish!
    29. Pretty. I especially like what they did with ‘kraken’
    32. I’ve never seen such a cover before!

    Witchfall, that’s not a hard pick indeed.
    Sky pirates, one of the first times I actually like the face on the cover.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Life of a blogger: Career.My Profile

  17. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. I like the concept behind this one.

    22. WANT THAT GLASS ROSE.

    27. Hey, that is good luck right there! Pick it up!

    Cover Battle

    1. Meh. I’m so over this movie, and the tie in cover looks cheesy.

    3. I am digging the colors on the cover.

    6. I like the US cover, but the UK cover does have some merits.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Stacking the Shelves #69My Profile

  18. […] a publisher that has always been a bit of an enigma to me. Not anymore!This week’s Cover Snark over at a Reader of Fictions. I never miss a post. SO MANY covers this […]

  19. […] a publisher that has always been a bit of an enigma to me. Not anymore!This week’s Cover Snark over at a Reader of Fictions. I never miss a post. SO MANY covers this […]

  20. […] a publisher that has always been a bit of an enigma to me. Not anymore! This week’s Cover Snark over at a Reader of Fictions. I never miss a post. SO MANY covers this […]

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