Cover Snark (81): The One with Werewolves, Tigers and Dragons, Oh My

CoverSnarkChristina2

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Shiny and New:

1. The Nethergrim (The Nethergrim Trilogy #1) – Matthew Jobin
The Nethergrim (The Nethergrim Trilogy #1) - Matthew Jobin
Thoughts: This. Is. Awesome. The thorns and the teeth and even the tagline.

2. Island of Legends (Unwanteds #4) – Lisa McMann
Island of Legends (Unwanteds, #4) by Lisa McMann
Thoughts: Is that like a crocopus? Pretty sweet.

3. Come to Me Softly (Closer to You #2) – A.L. Jackson
Come to Me Softly - A.L. Jackson
Thoughts: How about a story where she DID change his past with her love? Now THERE’S something different. This sounds like every other romance ever. Also, I now have Killing Me Softly stuck in my head.

4. Sneaking Candy – Lisa Burstein
Sneaking Candy - Lisa Burstein
Thoughts: This cover would like you to think about cunnilingus. I mean, that tagline plus her short skirt and the placement of everything? It’s not even subtle.

5. Midnight Crossroad (Midnight, Texas #1) – Charlaine Harris
Midnight Crossroad (Midnight, Texas #1) - Charlaine Harris
Thoughts: This hurts my brain a little bit. The world is askeeeew.

6. Grim – Christine Johnson, ed.
Grim - Christine Johnson, ed.
Thoughts: Huh. Well, it would be a bit grimmer if it were heads hanging off the tree, rather than brooches or earrings or whatever, but still interesting.

7. Sublime – Christina Lauren
Sublime - Christina Lauren
Thoughts: Cover math: The Creation of Adam + Wither + Matthew McConnaughey = Sublime.

8. All That Is Solid Melts into Air – Darragh McKeon
All That is Solid Melts into Air
Thoughts: This is just the typography, but I happened across it on Pinterest and had to share because it’s GORGEOUS.

9. Blood Games (Chicagoland Vampires #10) – Chloe Neill
Blood Games - Chloe Neill
Thoughts: She’s just resting a sword on her shoulder. That seems like a bad idea. It’s all fun and games until you accidentally behead yourself.

10. A Beautiful Wedding (Beautiful #2.5) – Jamie McGuire
A Beautiful Wedding - Jamie McGuire
Thoughts: Nothing says ‘beautiful’ like an Elvis impersonator.

11. Seeking Her (Losing It #3.5) – Cora Carmack
Seeking Her - Cora Carmack
Thoughts: Were we seeking Reese Witherspoon? Because I think we found her.

12. Unmasking Juliet – Teri Wilson
Unmasking Juliet - Teri Wilson
Thoughts: Well, the mask is off. Mission accomplished.

13. Taut – JA Huss
Taut - JA Huss
Thoughts: He looks like a spiffed up Andy Dwyer. Bahahaha.

14. Tangled Up: Crossing the Line\Burned – Megan Hart & Sarah Morgan
Tangled Up - Megan Hart
Thoughts: Much as I generally love corset covers, this is boring. 🙁 Also, we have the annoying one contributor’s name is much larger than the other contributor’s thing.

15. Breakable – Tammara Webber
Breakable - Tammara Webber
Thoughts: I feel like they swapped roles. Look at his swoopy hair and downcast eyes. NA cover role gender swap.

16. Repossessed (Warlock Repo Man Chronicles #1) by Shawntelle Madison
Repossessed (Warlock Repo Man Chronicles #1) - Shawntelle Madison
Thoughts: Is that an Asian man? I approve of this. So much. This is a more acceptable level of muscle. And a shoulder scar instead of a tattoo. Still not my sort of cover, but variety of a sort.

17. Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. – Judy Blume
Are You There God It's Me Margaret - Judy Blume
Thoughts: That tagline is mean. Also, that pose is an accurate representation of the opposite of how women feel about periods.

18. Silver Shadows (Bloodlines #5) – Richelle Mead
Silver Shadows (Bloodlines, #5) by Richelle Mead
Thoughts: This is better than the previous one, but even so…I would still like to know what Richelle Mead did to the cover designer community.

19. Dirt Bikes, Drones, and Other Ways to Fly – Conrad Wesselhoeft
Dirt Bikes, Drones, and Other Ways to Fly - Conrad Wesselhoeft
Thoughts: And now I want to watch Motocrossed.

20. Wanted: Dead or In Love – Kym Brunner
Wanted - Dead or In Love by Kym Brunner
Thoughts: Wait, so Bonnie and Clyde are going to possess a single person? Why not one each? That seems rather unambitious for people who came all the way from the afterlife.

21. Rebel Nation (Viral Nation #1) Shaunta Grimes
Rebel Nation by Shaunta Grimes
Thoughts: The dog is still alive! Yay!

22. Better Homes and Hauntings – Molly Harper
Better Homes and Hauntings by Molly Harper
Thoughts: Let’s call a spade a spade and say this looks like a lot of other covers…but I do like the cheeky grin on the model.

23. Calm Before the Storm – S.K. Hartley
Calm Before the Storm - S.K. Hartley
Thoughts: Pretty sure the storm is already there, unless she’s a model at a photo shoot with the hose turned on her and this is exceedingly meta.

24. Clipped Wings (Clipped Wings #1) – Helena Hunting
Clipped Wings
Thoughts: HELL YES. Thank you, cover, for being a new adult novel without naked people. IT IS POSSIBLE. SEE?

25. Inked Armor (Clipped Wings #2) – Helena Hunting
Inked Armor - Helena Hunting
Thoughts: That looks like a headband with angel wings sprouting off the top. Blair Waldorf would not approve.

26. When It’s Love – Emma Lauren
When It's Love - Emma Lauren
Thoughts: When it’s real love, he takes pictures of you that include your face.

27. Before They Find Us – Michelle A.Hansen
Before They Find Us - Michelle A.Hansen
Thoughts: If you don’t want them to get you, I recommend riding on top of a truck.

28. The Firedragon (Flynn Nightsider #0.5) – Mary Fan
The Firedragon by Mary Fan
Thoughts: It’s no Stormdancer cover, but good enough.

29. Ahead of the Darkness – Simone Nicole
Ahead of the Darkness - Simone Nicole
Thoughts: Sort of looks like the darkness is ahead of her. Also, from a distance, this cover looks like a cat’s eye.

30. Prince of Fools (The Red Queen’s War #1) Mark Lawrence
Prince of Fools by Mark Lawrence
Thoughts: He has tree antlers coming out of his waist.

31. The Unfinished Life of Addison Stone – Adele Griffin
The Unfinished Life of Addison Stone by Adele Griffin
Thoughts: Kinda looks like they figured out this cover was terrible, put an X on it, and then accidentally released it.

32. If I Speak True (Flora #1) – Jessica Brooks
If I Speak True by Jessica Brooks
Thoughts: Roses are red; violets are blue. This cover is not appreciated, if I speak true.

33. Royal Pain (Sweetwater Creek #1) – Danielle Doolittle
Royal Pain - Danielle Doolittle
Thoughts: Making out is greatly improved by shoving weeds into your faces.

34. The Orphan and the Thief – M.L. LeGette
The Orphan and the Thief by M.L. LeGette
Thoughts: This art makes me think of The Sword in the Stone. Cuteness.

35. New Watch (The Night Watch #5) – Sergei Lukyanenko
New Watch - Sergei Lukyanenko
Thoughts: *sung in the style of Aerosmith* DUDE LOOKS LIKE A TIGER.

36. The Causal Angel (The Jean le Flambeur Series #3) – Hannu Rajaniemi
The Causal Angel - Hannu Rajaniemi
Thoughts: So I totally read this as “Casual Angel” and that was a hilarious mental image. Also, this cover has dudes that are knights up top and a knife party on the bottom.

37. Nebula Awards Showcase 2014 – Kij Johnson, ed.
Nebula Awards Showcase 2014
Thoughts: Run little gazelle, run!

38. Thief’s Magic (Millennium’s Rule #1) – Trudi Canavan
Thief's Magic (Millennium's Rule #1) - Trudi Canavan
Thoughts: This is oddly creepy. I like how it looks like an old book, but then that hooded person is coming out of the book and no.

39. Daemon Parallel – Roy Gill
Daemon Parallel
Thoughts: Ooooh, creepy and illustrated. Christina likes.

40. Werewolf Parallel – Roy Gill
Werewolf Parallel
Thoughts: Werewolves are green. And apparently have wider-set eyes than demons. Who knew.

41. Flirting with Chaos (Crazy in Love #1) – Kenya Wright
Flirting with Chaos - Kenya Wright
Thoughts: Not exactly original, but I do like the splatter effect on the heart.

42. Forest of Whispers – Jennifer Murgia
Forest of Whispers - Jennifer Murgia
Thoughts: Where have I seen this girl’s face? This photo is on another cover. First person to figure out WHICH cover gets my admiration. UPDATE: Thanks to Katie (Books and Katie), I can now inform you that this is the same image as on Jennifer Brown’s Torn Away.

43. Resistance (Night School #4) – C. J. Daugherty
Resistance - C. J. Daugherty
Thoughts: Yeah, she totally looks 17.

44. Willow, Weep No More
Willow, Weep No More
Thoughts: Grandma Willow, what are you doing here?

45. Cold Wind – Nicola Griffith
Cold Wind - Nicola Griffith
Thoughts: Ack. I do not like the shiny-eyed man. He, like the Dread Pirate Roberts, is here for my soul.

46. The Last Page – Anthony Huso
The Last Page - Anthony Huso
Thoughts: This has the street cred of like 20 steampunk covers. LOOK AT ALL THE DIRIGIBLES, y’all!

47. Nighttime in Caeli-Amur – Rjurik Davidson
Nighttime in Caeli-Amur - Rjurik Davidson
Thoughts: Clockwork dodo? That is either adorable or the most terrifying thing ever. I really can’t decide which.

48. The End of the End of Everything – Dale Bailey
The End of the End of Everything - Dale Bailey
Thoughts: ONE OF THE FLOWERS FROM FANTASIA IS NOW A HUMAN.

Cover Battles:

1. She Is Not Invisible – Marcus Sedgwick

She Is Not Invisible - Marcus Sedgwick UK
She Is Not Invisible - Marcus Sedgwick

UK vs. US: As fun as the not entirely invisible floating head is, the UK cover is fan-freaking-tastic. Why can I not has?

2. Forever – Judy Blume

Forever 2005
Forever 2011
Forever - Judy Blume

2005 edition vs. 2011 edition vs. New edition: I grabbed the three most recent, popular editions from GR. But, mostly, all I have to say about this is: RALPH.

3. Maybe One Day – Melissa Kantor

Maybe One Day
Maybe One Day 2
Maybe One Day - Melissa Kantor

First vs. Second vs. Third: I have no idea what’s happening with this book. Amazon shows the first and third covers, with the former listed as the hardcover and the latter as the paperback, only they have the same release date. The first and second are on GR, both with the same release date. UK? I don’t know. Personally, I like the second one best, but it may have been replaced. *is confuzzled*

4. The Islands of Chaldea – Diana Wynne Jones, completed by Ursula Jones

The Islands of Chaldea UK
The Islands of Chaldea US

UK vs. US: Oooh, I like both, but I prefer the whimsy of the title font for the UK cover. Plus, cute animals. Though the US cover looks like Stardust. Torn.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to cynicalsapphire@gmail.com and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. The Book of Broken Hearts – Sarah Ockler
The Book of Broken Hearts - Sarah Ockler
Thoughts: Paperback cover, NO. As far as I can tell, they would have to be kneeling down in the road to the left of the motorcycle to reflect in the mirror like that. SEXY.

2. Holy Frigging Matrimony (Tangled #1.5) – Emma Chase
Holy Frigging Matrimony - Emma Chase
Thoughts: Friggin’ A, man.

3. Beautiful Failure – Mariah Cole
Beautiful Failure - Mariah Cole
Thoughts: No woman would ever sit like this if not being paid to do so. I mean, is this even a sexy pose? Do hetero dudes and/or lesbians dig this? All I can think is how incredibly uncomfortable that would be.

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Nethergrim by Matthew Jobin

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

The Nethergrim (The Nethergrim Trilogy #1) - Matthew Jobin

Today, welcome Meg (Cuddlebuggery), who has selected Nethergrim by Matthew Jobin. Also, she’s a graphic designer, so, unlike me, she actually KNOWS THINGS. Here’s what she says.

“It’s creepy and sinister but when you look at it close up, also subtly beautiful. You can easily picture a cinematic version of it with the title slowly coming out at you as the vine grow around it and something John Williams-ish plays, (I may or may not have been watching Harry Potter movies recently.) Atmosphere aside, I like how the limited use of bright color draws your eye to the text, but it’s all tied together by the light wispy bits in the background. Very nicely done.”

To learn more or purchase: Goodreads|Amazon|TBD|B&N

24 responses to “Cover Snark (81): The One with Werewolves, Tigers and Dragons, Oh My”

  1. Great post! I always look forward to these every Thursday 🙂

    42. Isn’t that the girl on the cover of Reckoning? I feel like I’ve seen her before from another cover, too, though.

  2. Oh! I think I found another one! Torn Away by Jennifer Brown
    Katie @ Books and Katie recently posted…Rippler by Cindy SwansonMy Profile

  3. Angie says:

    1-That is fantastic. I love it.
    2-I almost always hate Lisa McMann’s books but the cover is awesome.
    7-That is so freaking ugly. So. Ugly.
    8-Ahhhhhhh I love it! So gorgeous.
    9-“It’s all fun and games until you accidentally behead yourself” is going to be my new tagline for everything.
    17-I actually like the new cover. Although that tagline is pretty horrific.
    18-I seriously HATE all of her covers. I don’t understand why the cover designing gods will redesign perfectly gorgeous covers, but leave hideous ones like the VA and Bloodlines series alone. It makes me sad.
    24 & 25-I really like the typography on them. And the color of the first one is pretty.

    1-The UK cover is awesome.
    2-I actually love the new edition enough that I will have to finally replace my long missing copy to have it.
    3-I think I ike the first one best, but the second one isn’t bad. The third is boring but I think it’s because the random butterfly’s annoy me.
    4-UK for sure. Why does the UK always get the best covers?

    • Christina Franke says:

      2. I read the first book in this series and thought her MG was much better than her YA offerings. Apparently middle graders are smart enough to handle complete sentences and teens aren’t. We regress, I guess, under the influx of hormones.

      7. Isn’t it?

      9. Fantastic. If I ever write a book, I think that should be the tagline, whether it has anything to do with the plot or not.

      17. She looks like rainbow sprinkles.

      18. I complain about such things a lot. She really must have done something, because she’s a really popular author and she doesn’t have ANY good covers, at least in the US.

      24-25. Agreed.

      2. I actually really don’t like the new one. I’d probably go for the leg cover. But then again I didn’t love the book, so I don’t need a copy.

      3. The butterflies are annoying. The reason I don’t like the first is that they’re weirdly out of proportion. And the sky in the middle one is gorgeous.

      4. Not ALWAYS. But, sadly, usually they do. *pouts*

  4. Ellis says:

    3. Ha, these almost kissy covers. I just now realise what a pain in the ass shooting them must be. Onion breath.

    4. The cunning linguists thing makes sense here, because the synopsis is that she’s an erotica author. Then she gets a boyfriend and he doesn’t exactly live up to her fantasies, I think. Something with erotica and boyfriends.

    7. She reminds me of an albino Natalie Dormer. I kind of like this cover but there’s something eerie about it that repels me. I can’t say what.

    8. THEY SHOULD KEEP THIS AS THE COVER. IT IS GORGEOUS AND PERFECTION AND IS GIVING ME EVERYTHING.

    9. Haaa, the sneak peek. I can’t believe this series is still ongoing.

    10. snort

    11. underwhelming

    13. That’s Bert Maclin for you, lady.

    16. This feels like they’re dancing and were suddenly freeze-framed. I don’t like the cover all that much, but I like the suggestion of movement.

    17. I really like this one, but I’m not sure if it first the book. (Haven’t read it, so bad judge.) This seems like something that would go well on a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants cover.

    18. Tragic

    22. This creeps me out on so many levels.

    23. I want her make-up. Obviously it is waterproof like whoa.

    30. His butt. No need to go PC here. They’re growing out of his butt.

    33. OH NOES. WE’RE KISSING. HOW IMPURE. Never mind that they’re not shielding those poor horses from their soft porn shenanigans.

    35. Weirdly, this gives me communist Russia vibes.

    36. I ALSO read this as The Casual Angel. *high-fives*

    41. I hope someone is murdered in this one. It gives me thriller rather than romance. ROMANTIC SUSPENSE.

    43. I kind of like this cover but then there’s the hair, which is just no.

    CB 1. UK. 100% UK. The US one is too literal.

    CB 3. The first one. I want the first one.

    WTF 1. NOOOOOOOOO. This is TERRIBLE.

    WTF 3. Wow, voyeuristic much?

    ZOMG THE OUTSTANDING COVER IS SUCH A SURPRISE. She definitely KNOWS THINGS. Nicely done, Meg.
    Ellis recently posted…Review – DreamfeverMy Profile

  5. Kayla Beck says:

    Ugh, why does work always get busy when I want to look at the pretties (and pretty awfuls)?! *throws all the things*

    1. I got approval for this yesterday! *does the happy dance*

    2. Middle grade books are the best. I want to read this series based on the covers alone.

    5. I’m so ridiculously excited about this book. RIDICULOUSLY!

    6. It gets 1000 bonus points if the cover is made of that Bible leather stuff.

    7. This is awesome for a teen book. I’ll allow it.

    8. I like the typography on black here much more than the cover on Goodreads. I hope they’re changing it.

    9. That’s a lightsaber sword she’s holding!

    16. This is a cover that I can swoon over. I need that Asian man at my house IMMEDIATELY!

    17. Bahahahahaha!

    18. This has just gotten ridiculously fucking awful. She needs to make a sacrifice to the cover gods and hope for a redo.

    24-25. But it’s wings! I’m so tired of wings, and it used to not bother me. *sigh*

    28. I honestly believe that the model is willing and able to do damage on people, places, or things with that sword.

    30. Or he farts dead trees?

    33. If someone ever puts yellow flowers in my face, it’s hard for me not to gutpunch them. Allergies.

    36. This is epic. I’ll take the Fathead of this in my nerd room.

    37. DRAGONS AND GOATS WIN ALL THE COVERS EVER!

    38. This honestly made me shudder.

    46. I bet Howl would ride in that tank!

    CB4. Fishpond lets us get both. 😀
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Blog Tour (Review & Giveaway): The Alligator Man by James SheehanMy Profile

  6. Oooo I haven’t done a CS comment for ages. Let’s do this thang!

    1. Is awesome – I love the teeth!

    3. Yeah, well NOTHING can change the past. Thank you, captain obvious.

    7. Wow, I wonder where the inspiration for THAT cover came from.

    8. Oh that is pretty. Now I just need to get into the damn book.

    14. *snores* maybe a little bit of colour would have helped….

    17. Ugh, it’s like one of those tampon adverts where women ride horses in white pants.

    22. Holy crap, a SMILING model. And not smiling smugly, which does not count.

    24. Miracles DO happen.

    33. I will get rid of you persistent boy, by giving you terrible hay fever. Mwhahahaha.

    47. I thought you wrote ‘clockwork dildo’. I know, I’m leaving (soon).

    CB3. Middle one is UK paperback. I think I’m biased by having read this already, but if i had to choose, UK paperback wins.
    Kat (AussieZombie) recently posted…Review: Survive by Alex MorelMy Profile

  7. Lili says:

    NETHERGRIM IS SO FREAKING AWESOME OH MY GOD!

    …If I could create any random animal now, I want to create a croctopus!

    I enjoy Tammara Webber’s writing, but I hate her covers. EASY AND BREAKABLE both have your typical na covers, except between the two EASY is infinitely more pleasing to the eye and he just looks like an annoying swoopy-haired skater in the new one. But gah, her between the line series has covers that remind me of something I’d read as a 6th grader!

    Is it weird that I get a SISTERS RED vibe for Werewolf Parallel? Like the top of it? Except this one is green and because there’s not a person near the bottom it’s more sinister. Idk, I just hate when I look at one book and think of another.

    SEEKING HER! bahaha I’m not a fan of the cover this time though but Reese Witherspoon xD

    I HAD THE SAME THOUGHT FOR THE END OF THE END OF EVERYTHING! OMG GMTA

    …The new Book of Broken Hearts is TERRIBLE! I don’t understand this trend of taking good covers and making them disgusting. I was very happy with the adorableness and simplicity of the hardcover!

    Looking at Beautiful Failure makes my back and feet ache. Those heels and that position! Ouch! Looks like a hunched monkey with stripper heels.

    SO MANY MORE COMMENTS BUT I AM IN CLASS AND MY TEACHER IS MAKING ME PUT AWAY MY LAPTOP TO WATCH A DOCUMENTARY!!! D: NUUUUUUU

  8. Gillian says:

    1. I need this need this need this need this

    3. That title makes me think dirty things because I am perverted apparently. Also, I’d read that book you just made up, about ACTUALLY changing his past.

    4. EW.

    6. I like the faux leather thing.

    7. THAT REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE MATTHEW MCCONNAUGHEY.

    8. *lust*

    11. Her eyebrows are tragic.

    18. She gets the WORST covers with the most AWKWARD MODELS. Did she insult the cover designing profession in a public place? What IS it??

    19. MOTOCROSSSSED!!! The greatest gender-bending motorbike movie of our childhoods!!

    21. PUPPY!!! *smushles the cutie*

    25. PRAISE GLORY HALLELUJAH. Also, at first glance I thought Helen Hunt had become an author. Or maybe it IS her and she’s just disguising herself behind extra syllables.

    32. “If I Speak True” is such an annoyingly incorrect sentence.

    34. CUTE!!

    35. Tigerman, Tigerman, does whatever a tiger can…

    36. I ALSO READ THIS AS CASUAL ANGEL. I pictured an angel just chillin’. Leaning against a wall, not a care in the world. Maybe sitting with their feet up. Sipping a margarita.

    42. That is a wretched title font.

    45. Well, that’s horrifying.

    46. YUSSSS

    47. I THINK IT’S CUTE. Also terrifying. Mostly cute.

    CB4. Aw, I like both. It’s so sad that she died. I’m so excited to read this! DWJ, my heart.

    WTF1. Why on earth did they do this??

    WTF2. Hahahahahah

    WTF3. HOWWW is she even sitting like that?! Also, Beautiful ___ title. THAT’S original. *eyeroll*
    Gillian recently posted…Review: Crash Into You by Katie McGarryMy Profile

  9. Kim W. says:

    1. This is awesome. But on a quick glance I did think the thorns were teeth, so I thought the evil was that you were going to be eaten by a monster. Also love the tagline, it definitely piques my interest.

    5. Covers should not make me dizzy. I also don´t get why it is that way but maybe it makes sense after reading the book (which I don’t plan on doing)

    6. Why only the names of those three authors on the cover? I’m assuming every author contributed one story, so why this divide? Cover could have been better.

    7. This is too weird for me. Maybe it makes sense after reading the book (which I doubt but I could be wrong of course), but this cover doesn’t make me want to read the synopsis.

    8. Can’t wait for the final cover, love the typography!

    12. Juliet’s unmasked but we still can’t see her face.

    13. I also see Kellan Lutz in him.

    14. At a quick glance, Sarah Morgan’s name isn’t even noticeable because of the red color.

    16. Yay for variety and the POC, but also not my cover AT ALL. I applaud people who read books with these kinds of covers in public, I’m too much of a chicken.

    18. Oh god. So, so bad. And she’s a bestselling author! I haven’t read any of her books yet but these covers aren’t helping (I’m shallow like that). Maybe someday, and definitely on my ereader.

    24. Didn’t think I’d see the day when there was a NA book with no naked people and/or people kissing. Applause for the publisher (and cover designer)

    25. Like the other one better, but I’m not going to complain because I just said they deserve applause.

    28. Her stare is so creepy and intense. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have nightmares of her attacking me with her knife? sword? whatever. But I’m happy there’s a POC on the cover.

    36. Ha, I read it as Casual Angel too.

    CB1. Definitely UK. It’s pretty and I love the tagline. And it doesn’t even have real competition because the US one is laughable.

    CB3. I like the first one best, cause I love silhouettes on covers. I like the last one the least of all three so I hope that that’s not the final one.

    CB4. A tie, I love them both. Might go for the US just because I love purple.

    WTF1. NO NO NO NO NO. This is horrible. It also looks like an adult romance now, and not like YA. This hurts my eyes.
    Kim W. recently posted…Review: Monstrous BeautyMy Profile

  10. 1. I dislike this cover because it looks like it is going to eat me. I DON’T WANT TO BE EATEN.

    2. Or a cycloptopus. Also, I make a funny face any time I see a fourth book in a series or beyond because I’m so used to trilogies.

    4. I did not think of that until I read your snark. DAMN YOU. YOU SULLIED ME.

    5. I’d love to see my Geology professor try to explain how a hill-mountain-thing suddenly grew in the middle of a town because that’s how it looks to me and how it seems everything got distorted.

    6. Yeah that’s pretty… Blah. It reminds me a lot like the ARC cover for The Magnolia League.

    7. Ugh. This cover looks awful and the girl freaks me out. GO AWAY.

    10. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. ASDFGHJKL LEAVE MY BELVOED VEGAS ALONE, YOU SHITWAFFLES. BURN IN HELL. Also, you don’t know Elvis impersonators until one drives your hotel shuttle and then abandons said shuttle to engage in some road rage with another driver.

    16. Yeah, the pose and all doesn’t do anything for me, but people who aren’t white and perfect! Whoo!

    17. You think so because you can’t see the rest of the picture. It’s zoomed in so you can’t tell her first experience with cramps have led her to try and jump off a cliff–dramatically, of course.

    21. Ewwwww, bulldog. I don’t like bulldogs.

    25. I would wear a headband like that. I really would.

    28. She’s got a face that’s either saying “Duuuuuuuude” or one that says she is about to eat her sword.

    43. >:( *donkey kicks*

    1. The UK cover definitely wins.

    2. So the edition I had and never read was the 2005 one? Huh.

    3. The second one is the one still up on Edelweiss too, along with the publisher’s website. I’m feeling pretty certain the first one isn’t actually going to be on anything (Amazon is dumb and cannot update itself) and the confusion is between the second and third one. Whatever is going on, someone’s gotta set things straight.

    1. *snickers more*

    3. Everything about this cover frightens me. Her expression, her pose, how little she is wearing,… Poor woman.
    Ashleigh Paige recently posted…Review: The School for Good and Evil by Soman ChainaniMy Profile

  11. Alessandra says:

    Yay for Rebel Nation. But I can’t wait until July 2014 for it, come on.
    Alessandra recently posted…Book review: Foreplay by Sophie JordanMy Profile

  12. 1. I approve of this. Gorgeous. I also love the title by the way.
    2. I love how the covers from the series look together.
    6. Not bad.. Was expecting something more spectacular, but I don’t hate it.
    7. Creepy!
    8. That looks awesome.
    12. I don’t care or the cover, but she does wear a pretty dress.
    18. Ugh.. I wouldn’t buy the series for the covers.
    20. The tagline is so long, it’s almost a blurb.
    22. Haha, finally something else than ‘swooning,’ ‘scarred for life’ or ‘permanent bitch face’
    34. I like it. I like it a lot.
    38. I think this cover will look pretty in real life.

    The Islands of Chaldea is difficult, they are both stunning! I think I’m learning more towards the UK one.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 216. Aimee Carter – Pawn.My Profile

  13. 2. Oh my gosh, tagline, DIE! *kills it with fire*

    3. That author blurb is suspiciously vague. “I can’t begin to describe what [A.L. Jackson] makes you feel. It’s this strange combination of nausea and utter apathy.”

    4. Way to teach me a new vocab word, Christina. o_O

    7. *grunts* I think the synopsis sounds interesting, but her NA are NOT my speed at all.

    8. WOW. WOW. Boom. My personal winner of the week right there.

    9. But she has TWO! I love double swords. It’s like Darth Maul, but less twirly. (I love you, Darth Maul.)

    11. The longer I stare at her, the more actresses I see. Amy Adams, Reese Witherspoon, Kiersten Dunst. It all depends what part of her face you focus on.

    12. *snort-laughs at your comment*

    13. I’m confused. Is the title “Taut” or “Ford Taut?” Either way, stupid.

    16. I see no tattoo.

    19. Oh my gosh, Motocrossed! LOOOOOOVED that movie. Except for that blueish fuzzy shirt thing she wears near the end. So unflattering.

    24. DUDE

    28. I’m creeped out.

    32. Hello random flower that has NOTHING to do with the rest of the cover.

    36. I think I would have liked it better without the random people bubble.

    38. OOOOOOOOOOOH!

    45. O_O *runs away*

    48. AND IS RELEASING DEMON SPAWN FROM A CUT IN HER NECK?!

    CB4. I’m listening to epic closing music from Little Mermaid and it’s going SO WELL with the second cover. *twirls*

    WTF1. DESIRE FOLLOWS NO RULES, CHRISTINA! NOT EVEN COMMON-SENSE LAWS OF PHYSICS!
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…Review: THESE BROKEN STARS by Amie Kaufman and Meagan SpoonerMy Profile

  14. Kathy L. says:

    Happy Thursday! Time for snarking!
    1. LOVE THIS!!!
    5. Those shadow spots are seriously annoying me.
    7. It looks weird but I think it works.
    8. WHOA!
    12. Aw it’s so cute and sweet. It’d be so funny if this retold Romeo and Juliet with as much death as the original had or EVEN MORE!!! I love that idea! Someone needs to write a retelling where instead of it being a tragic romance, have it be a gory horror with someone dying in every scene! OH! AND HAVE ROMEO BE LIKE A CRAZY STALKING SERIAL KILLER THAT’S OBSESSED WITH JULIET BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW!!! YES!!! AUTHORS WRITE THIS NOW!!!
    18. I don’t like this which is weird because I like most of the books in this series. I think it’s the way she’s trying to look into my soul. DON’T LOOK INTO MY SOUL! THAT’S PRIVATE!
    22. I thought that was a knife and I was like omg she’s going to stab me repeatedly and laugh and giggle while doing it. Now that I know it’s a trowel I just think she’s going to push me into a hole and bury me alive while laughing. Why my imaginary self wouldn’t get out of the hole in the hours it would take her to bury me with that tiny shovel I don’t know. I guess my imaginary self is as lazy as my real self?
    24. It’s so cool that there is finally a new adult cover that doesn’t immediately make me not want to read.
    33. This would be better if the horses were if focus and the people were blurry.
    35. And now I am going to have to watch Mrs. Doubtfire a dozen times.
    47. Terrifying, definitely terrifying!
    CB4. Both win!

  15. “Well, the mask is off. Mission accomplished.” Bwahahaha!

    On Cold Wind, I don’t know what is worse…the shiny eyes or the claw like fingers. Creepy.
    Dana (Little Lovely Books) recently posted…Right NowMy Profile

  16. Meg says:

    AACK! I am so late on my Cover Snark commenting. Bad Meg. (Although, possibly Good Meg as it’s because I separated myself from my computer for the day, say what? Strange new world.)

    1. Further proof that magic is awesome: when it slacks off, evil comes out to play.

    2. MERETIGERSUS WILL DESTROY YOOUUUUUU

    4. Does anyone do subtlety anymore? Ever?

    6. I kind of like this, but it’d be cool if the actual book cover was textured like the background and then the design was pressed into it. This would be very expensive so probably not, but a girl can dream.

    7. His nipple is making eye contact.

    8. This is all kinds of awesome. Concept, design, love all around. They’ll probably screw it up with an awful tagline. Maybe not.

    10. Did you know that Vegas has drive through wedding places? I can’t decide if I think that’s terrible or hilarious, probably both.

    13. Andy Dwyer is 4,000 times the man this James Bond knock-off is.

    14. This is very orderly laced given the title.

    16. In the movie constantly playing in my head, 10 seconds after this picture was taken she dug her nails in and took a massive bite out of his shoulder (the movie in my head is terrifying and not for the faint of heart.)

    17. Period marketing stuff is the worst. Whenever they have those commercials with the girls playing volleyball or anything carefree and active I yell FUCK YOU and throw something handy because no.

    18. I honestly can’t tell Richelle Mead covers apart. Are they all the same series? Related series? I’ve never read them so I don’t know.

    20. But if they both possess her then she can have wacky three-way conversations with herself and other hijinks.

    22. Bonus points if she’s smiling that because she just/is about to stab someone with the spade. What is with me and the violence today? Don’t be alarmed, it’s all theoretical.

    24. This is New Adult? BUT HOW WILL ANYONE KNOW WITHOUT CHEESY NAKED MAKE OUTS?!

    28. My brain chose to read the tagline as A Flynn Rider Tale and I got all excited, then confused, then sad because obviously not. If that were a book, I’d read it.

    29. I hope she’s wearing shoes, gravel paths are hell on bare feet. Also, that is totally an eye, nice catch.

    31. Art Director: “DAMMIT! THAT WAS A REJECT. THAT’S WHAT THE X MEANS. YOU HAD ONE JOB!”

    34. This is creepy and awesome and I hope the dragon is palm-sized and I can have it as a pet.

    35. I…yeah. Why does he have people hands? And legs? And a suit? What happened to his eye? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

    36. I didn’t realize this wasn’t called Casual Angel until you pointed it out.

    38. This reminds me of Han Solo encased in carbonate but the fantasy version.

    42. The typography is pretty cool though, very creepy as I imagine a forest of whispers would be.

    43. Maybe she was held back a few times, you never know.

    44. LISTEN TO THE WIND, CHILD!!

    CB 1: UK for sure, I adore the typography.

    CB 2: Boredom with a side of cheese.

    US: Stardust/Harry Potter mashup for the win. Although the UK is also pretty awesome, I second your whimsy appreciation.

    WTF 1: Also, the tagline is awful.

    WTF 3: Can you imagine how uncomfortable that model must have been after the first 5 seconds? Poor girl, I pity her knees.

    WHO IS THAT PRETENTIOUS LITTLE SHIT TALKING ABOUT DRAWING THE EYE AND ALL THAT ARTSY GARBAGE? GET HER OUT OF HERE.

  17. Angie F. says:

    2. Whatever that is, it’s quite awesome! Now I feel like watching Sharktopus. That movie was epic.

    4. Hahaha, yes! I read this one last night.

    5. I like it!

    7. I…do not know how I feel, but I do love the Matthew McNaughty (awesome nickname) look alike!

    10. Another one?! I’ll read it.

    17. It’s like a pad commercial! Where’s the blue liquid?!

    18. *sobs at the unfairness of her coverness*

    35. LoL

    47. LOVE!

    Battles
    2. 2011!

    3. I like the second one, too.

    WTF
    1. That is awkward looking.

    3. Is that the girl that’s on like every cover ever?! I recognize that nose! Also, I want those shoes.
    Angie F. recently posted…Holiday Kindle Fire HDX GiveawayMy Profile

  18. Whitley says:

    I’m surprised you didn’t snark the tagline in #2. THG + HP? Riding the coattails much?

    “How about a story where she DID change his past with her love? Now THERE’S something different.”
    See, now I’m imagining some royal shenanigans, like how they could declare a person to be a different gender so that he she-he could be king, or how they could just say “no, Anne Boleyn was a whore, wait, new generation, now she wasn’t, AND YOU’D BETTER KEEP UP AND AGREE THAT THIS IS HOW IT’S ALWAYS BEEN.” You could tots have a story with someone going “no, you have a new past now, and I’ll behead anyone who disagrees with us.”

    I’d read it.

    #9: she’s not even resting the FLAT of the blade on her shoulder…

    #12: she may be unmasked, but the book is still going to chop her head off to make sure we can’t see her.

    #22: That lady is going to have more fun with ghosts than I do with live people. Maybe I should look into this haunting business…

    #24: Lies. It’s not possible. This clearly MUST be a fake.

    #46: Now I’m just wondering how long before one of those dirigibles crashes into another. They’re way too close!
    Whitley recently posted…Will of the Empress: Ch 13My Profile

  19. Gotta love the cover for the Charlaine Harris … “First in a New Series — Never Before Published.” Uhhh … really? Isn’t that obvious, what with it being the FIRST in a NEW series?
    Kristilyn (Reading in Winter) recently posted…Book Hoarder’s Selection (39): The Catastrophic History of You and Me by Jess RothenbergMy Profile

  20. Nafiza says:

    There was an author named Ford Taut. I snickered for a good while over that. Brilliant array of covers, some more than others.
    Nafiza recently posted…On My RadarMy Profile

  21. Lyn Kaye says:

    1. I. So. Agree.
    3. Boring. Boring Boring.
    5. Texas? Hmmm…
    7. Oh hell, that is awesome!
    10. Excuse me while I run off to vomit.
    12. And her face is missing.
    18. Photoshopped tattoo. *grinds teeth*
    20. Waste of mascara
    32. Agreed.
    44. I kinda like it…
    48. WANT.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Book Review: The Cutting Room Floor by Dawn KlehrMy Profile

  22. 1. I love this cover too. I also really want to read this book.

    4. Only you would manage to find a way to fit cunnilingus into a post. I mean, I agree but LOL.

    13. Ford TAUT?? Are we for real?? That’s the book title? It sounds like a porn star name!

    22. Really love the cheeky title though!

    28. All I see is a really creepy O face.

    CB4: I LOVE BOTH OF THEM. So gorgeous. They really want to make me read that book!

    I agree with Meg’s choice of Nethergrim. Though I am REALLY underwhelmed by most of the covers this week.
    Kara @ Great Imaginations recently posted…Book Review: The Burning of Cherry Hill by A.K. ButlerMy Profile

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