Cover Snark (76): The One Where We Write Wrongs


Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Today, since I’m in California with Gillian (Writer of Wrongs), you’re getting double the snark!

Shiny and New:

1. The Cabinet of Curiosities: 40 Tales Brief & Sinister – Stefan Bachmann, Claire Legrand, Katherine Catmull & Emma Trevayne
The Cabinet of Curiosities
C: This whole thing is magical, but I especially love the cyclops umbrella with teeth.
G: It’s like Howl’s Moving Castle meets Monsters, Inc. meets Up.

2. The Star Catcher (The Star Child #3) – Stephanie Keyes
The Star Catcher - Stephanie Keyes
C: The guy from the Easy cover should not be allowed to be on any other covers.
G: He has the creepiest hair. And he looks like he’s sniffing her shoulder.
C: Actually, I think her two-tone hair is pretty creepy.
G: They should never reproduce and have children with hair.
C: Bald children only. Airbenders, the lot of them.

3. Exile – Kevin Emerson
Exile - Kevin Emerson
G: I don’t understand this tagline. Where are you going to meet me?!?!
C: I don’t know. In the X? Is this a drug metaphor? Also, that cable is worthless. SO SHORT.

4. The Silversmith’s Wife – Sophia Tobin
The Silversmith's Wife - Sophia Tobin
C: What’s with the text upsidedown and sideways on the top right?
G: This is beautiful. I can has?

5. Find Me Where the Water Ends (So Close to You #3) – Rachel Carter
Find Me Where the Water Ends (So Close to You #3) - Rachel Carter
G: That girl really needs to buy a ponytail holder.
C: Her hair’s blowing to the left this time, because she ain’t right! BURN.

6. Life by Committee – Corey Ann Haydu
Life by Committee - Corey Ann Haydu
G: I like her shoes.
C: Me too. Committee votes that the shoes now belong to us. Boyfriend stealers do not deserve the shoes. And, wait, who is assigning her to kiss people’s boyfriends?

7. Heartbeat – Elizabeth Scott
Heartbeat - Elizabeth Scott
C: *snores*
G: *sneezes at pollen font*

8. Come Rain or Shine (Shine On #3) – Allison Jewell
Come Rain or Shine - Allison Jewell
G: Pretty hair is pretty.
C: Pretty dress and makeup is also pretty.

9. The Half Life of Molly Pierce – Katrina Leno
The Half Life of Molly Pierce - Katrina Leno
C: This looks like a biography of someone who hung out with Andy Warhol.
G: Or the Goodbye, Rebel Blue cover.

10. (Don’t You) Forget About Me – Kate Karyus Quinn
(Don't You) Forget About Me by Kate Karyus Quinn
C: I reject the fact that there is not a person raising their arm on this cover.

11. Where Silence Gathers – (Some Quiet Place #2) Kelsey Sutton
Where Silence Gathers - (Some Quiet Place #2) Kelsey Sutton
C: This model clearly learned about posing from the covers for The Selection series.
G: Except her BO looks like it’s WAY worse than America’s.

12. Born of Deception (Born of Illusion #2) – Teri Brown
Born of Deception - Teri Brown
C: Veils are not as pretty in red. It sort of makes her look like she’s got the chicken pox.
G: I thought she had a wound on her forehead. Or a giant zit.

13. Say What You Will – Cammie McGovern
Say What You Will - Cammie McGovern
C: This reminds me of Rainbow Rowell’s covers, particularly Attachments. I’m also cheered that they apparently can’t say they love each other. No instalove. Yay!
G: Chairs aren’t known for being very open with their feelings.
C: That’s couches, which is why they’re much beloved of psychiatrists.

14. Free to Fall – Lauren Miller
Free to Fall - Lauren Miller
CC: Also, what the heck is up with that weird pixelation circle stuff all over the cover? That does not look good.

15. Don’t Call Me Baby – Gwendolyn Heasley
Don't Call Me Baby - Gwen Heasley
G: Nobody puts baby in the ocean.
C: Looks like the sun actually DOES shine out of her ass.

16. Sweet Reckoning (The Sweet Trilogy #3) – Wendy Higgins
Sweet Reckoning (Sweet Evil #3) - Wendy Higgins
G: She looks like Rebekah from The Vampire Diaries.
C: She looks like … candy. Maybe that’s why he’s about to take a big chomp out of her shoulder.

17. My Last Kiss – Bethany Neal
My Last Kiss - Bethany Neal
C: I think I like it, but it hurts my brain.
G: I keep thinking my eyes are broken.

18. Sleep No More – Aprilynne Pike
Sleep No More - Aprilynne Pike
C: No, thank you. I would prefer to keep sleeping. This looks like a zoom in on the Ultraviolet cover.
G: Ah, yes, the past can hurt. The way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.

19. The Taking (The Taking #1) – Kimberly Derting
The Taking - Kimberly Derting
G: Ew, bugs.
C: Much as I hate to defend bugs, I think that looks pretty cool.
G: If I’m not living my life, can I volunteer for Kate Middleton’s?
C: And I shall be…Grace Kelly in the past. Because WHY NOT?

20. A Creature of Moonlight – Rebecca Hahn
A Creature of Moonlight - Rebecca Hahn
G: I like the font treatment but the dragon looks pretty crappy.
C: Serious waste of a dragon.

21. The Dead and Empty World – Carrie Ryan
The Dead and Empty World (Forest of Hands and Teeth) - Carrie Ryan
C: Something new and different for Carrie Ryan. *looks around* *shambles off*

22. Landline – Rainbow Rowell
Landline - Rainbow Rowell
C: Blast from the past! Brendan Fraser will pop up any minute now!
G: I can’t hear you; I’m too busy listening to my walkman.

23. Only Everything (True Love #2) – Kieran Scott
Only Everything - Kieran Scott
G: Those are some tight pants he’s wearing.
C: Looks like the title’s shooting Cupid’s arrow away from them. This can only end well.

24. Best Served Cold – Tawdra Kandle
Best Served Cold - Tawdra Kandle
C: I think it’s a breast of fresh air.
G: Her breasts are certainly getting a lot of fresh air and tempting all the tawdry candles.

25. Paranoia (The Night Walkers #2) – J.R. Johansson
Paranoia - J.R. Johansson

26. Strange and Ever After (Something Strange and Deadly #1) – Susan Dennard
Strange and Ever After (Something Strange and Deadly #1) - Susan Dennard
C: This model gets to travel all around the world and wear gorgeous dresses, and she always looks SO BORED.
G: Seriously, if she doesn’t want them, I will take her hair, her bracelet, her dress AND her boyfriend.

27. Valentine Joe – Rebecca Stevens
Valentine Joe – Rebecca Stevens
C: 15 is not old enough to fight. Stop lying to the recruiters!

28. A Thief Before Christmas – Jennifer McGowan
The Thief Before Christmas (Maids of Honor #0.5) - Jennifer McGowan
C: Sneaking into your rooms, melting your inhibitions, and thieving your…HEART.
G: She’s been burned by him before!

29. Forget Me – K.A. Harrington
Forget Me - K.A. Harrington

30. Guardian (Proxy, #2) Alex London
Guardian (Proxy, #2) Alex London
C: Sure does match the first. *shrugs*
G: That is definitely a cover.

31. Conversion – Katherine Howe
Conversion - Katherine Howe

32. Hero Worship – Christopher E. Long
Hero Worship - Christopher E. Long
C: Life advice: run away from the splosion.
G: Also: NO CAPES!

33. The Gospel of Winter – Brendan Kiely
The Gospel of Winter - Brendan Kiely
C: This so does not look like a YA book.
G: But it’s preeeetty.

34. Starbird Murphy and the World Outside – Karen Finneyfrock
Starbird Murphy and the World Outside - Karen Finneyfrock
C: I hereby reserve the name Finneyfrock for my future steampunk novel. Just in case.
G: The birds are burping bubbles.
C: Maybe they just back from the Willy Wonka factory tour.

35. The Fourth Wish (The Art of Wishing #2) – Lindsay Ribar
The Fourth Wish
C: *shields eyes from all the pink*
G: Who thought hot pink and chartreuse would be a good color combination?
C: *weeps*

36. Of Neptune (Of Poseidon #3) – Anna Banks
Of Neptune (Of Poseidon #3) - Anna Banks
G: YEUCH. That SURE looks like the strong heroine I’d like to read about.
C: Maybe he finally killed her with his “serial killer eyes.”

37. Jubilee – Karl Schroeder
Jubilee - Karl Schroeder
G: It’s like sci fi Rivendell.
C: I would go to there.
G: Maybe that’s you.
C: And you’re the one holding all my bags. You know, the short one.

38. Camelot Burning (Metal & Lace #1) – Kathryn Rose
Camelot Burning - Kathryn Rose
G: NYA AH. (Author’s note: this is something like the sound she made)
C: How can you take such rich subject matter and get THIS? I just. I can’t.

39. The Vanishing Season – Jodi Lynn Anderson
The Vanishing Season by Jodi Lynn Anderson
C: Mermaids, moths, and snowflakes?
G: Oh my.

40. Fiendish – Brenna Yovanoff
Fiendish - Brenna Yovanoff
C: Talk about your fixer upper.

41. The Cypress Project – Gennifer Albin
The Cypress Project - Gennifer Albin
G: Goodbye, crewel world. *puts hand to forehead*

42. Don’t Close Your Eyes: Wake/Fade/Gone – Lisa McMann
Don't Close Your Eyes - Lisa McMann
C: Or the weeping angels will get you.

43. The End or Something Like That – Ann Dee Ellis
The End or Something Like That - Ann Dee Ellis
C: It looks like a diorama for elementary school. Only mine were never that good.
G: Mine were. *flips hair*

44. Entwine – Rebecca Berto
Entwine - Rebecca Berto
G: One incredible bondage.
C: She may be trying to reenact the Roar video or something.

45. Elite Invitation – Michelle A. Valentine
Elite Invitation - Michelle A. Valentine
C: Yes rhinestones. Yes fist-clenching. Yes Phantom of the Opera.
G: No likey.
C: I wish I’d said that. *pouts*

46. Vision – Lisa Amowitz
Vision - Lisa Amowitz
G: “The light is darker than you’d think?” Is the water also drier than you think?
C: I am having a vision. Of a bad cover.

47. The Rain Is a Lie (Crewel World) – Gennifer Albin
The Rain Is a Lie - Gennifer Albin
C: As long as the cake is not a lie.
G: Cake? What cake?
C: THE ONE YOU PROMISED ME. In other news, I think he will grow up to date that girl from the Ransom Riggs cover.
G: They’re a match made in swiss cheese hell.

48. 16 Things I Thought Were True – Janet Gurtler
16 Things I Thought Were True - Janet Gurtler
G: Why doesn’t this match the other ones?
C: I don’t know. Also, it’s weird that this is the second week in a row with a #title. #newtrend #overitalready
G: #sotrendy

49. Ready to Go – Stephanie Mann
Ready to Go - Stephanie Mann
G: The font is just appalling.
C: It seems appropriate that it kind of looks woody though.

50. Emilie & the Sky World (Emilie #2) – Martha Wells
Emilie & the Sky World - Martha Wells
G: Strange Chemistry continues to up their game with the covers.
C: The dirigible has crashed! Oh no!

51. Vivian Divine Is Dead – Lauren Sabel
Vivian Divine is Dead by Lauren Sabel
C: The little skulls look like Jack Skellington! What’s this? What’s this? There’s roses in the air. What’s this? What’s this?
G: There’s cover magic everywhere.

52. Wicked Games – Sean Olin
Wicked Games by Sean Olin
G: EWWW, that is so much arm hair, that even the wicked gams would not make up for it.

53. Brazen – Katherine Longshore
Brazen - Katherine Longshore
C: Requisite grumbling about how much this redesign sucks. Duty is a bad word to put on a brown cover.
G: Heh heh. Doody.

54. “Love” and Other Foreign Words – Erin McCahan
Love and Other Foreign Words - Erin McCahan
G: This is too similar to so many titles.
C: She’s got to step up her game if she wants to be the next Vanna White.

55. The Fever – Megan Abbott
The Fever - Megan Abbott
C: Tragic twerking accident.

56. On the Fence – Kasie West
On The Fence by Kasie West
G: I’m on the fence about this cover, but NOT about how excited I am for more Kasie West books.
C: Her knee is the sun.

57. The Secrets of Lily Graves – Sarah Strohmeyer
The Secrets of Lily Graves - Sarah Strohmeyer
C: She looks like Zooey Deschanel!
C: *hisses*

58. The Last Best Kiss – Claire LaZebnik
The Last Best Kiss - Claire LaZebnik
G: He must be really tall.
C: Or just a jerk unwilling to bend to meet her partway. I don’t feel like it would be the best kiss when you have to balance so precariously.

59. The Wife Campaign (The Master Matchmakers #2) – Regina Scott
The Wife Campaign - Regina Scott
C: Wickham’s search for a wealthy and stupid wife after the traumatic death of Lydia in a swan attack.
G: He just swanned right in there.

60. Sugarplum Homecoming – Linda Goodnight
Sugarplum Homecoming - Linda Goodnight
C: Harlequin’s starting ’em young these days.
G: Dash and Lily: HarlequinTween edition.

61. Warrior Beautiful (Riders of Paradesos #1) – Wendy Knight
Warrior Beautiful (Riders of Paradesos #1) - Wendy Knight

62. The Shadow Hero – Gene Luen Yang & Sonny Liew
The Shadow Hero - Gene Luen Yang & Sonny Liew
C: And such an ugly cape too.

63. The Copper Promise – Jen Williams
The Copper Promise - Jen Williams
C: Dragonnnnn! I like it, but that’s really all I have to say.

64. Butterman (Time) Travel, Inc. – PK Hrezo
Butterman (Time) Travel, Inc. - PK Hrezo
C & G, in a chorus: BUTTERMAN, BUTTERMAN, DOES WHATEVER A BUTTER CAN? Nananana nananana nannana BUTTERMAN.

65. Assorted New Discworld Covers – Terry Pratchett

Eric - Terry Pratchett
Equal Rites - Terry Pratchett
Mort - Terry Pratchett
Guards - Terry Pratchett
Small Gods - Terry Pratchett

C: LOVE these, except that they seem to have left the title off the orange one. I especially want Mort. Look at it!
G: It’s my favorite one as well!

66. Meridian (Arclight #2) – Josin L. McQuein
Meridian - Josin L. McQuein
G: That just looks like an acid trip.
C: Something about a black light. It does erase the line between light and dark, after all. Because it’s black. And a light. BLOOOOWWWWING YOUR MIND.

67. Talker 25 (Talker 25 #1)- Joshua McCune
Talker 25 - Joshua McCune
C: Apparently they do not come in peace. The snakes with wings will destroy ussssss.
G: Harry Potter, talk them out of it!

68. The Things You Kiss Goodbye – Leslie Connor
The Things You Kiss Goodbye - Leslie Connor
G: I’d like to kiss that braid goodbye.

69. In the End (In the After #2) – Demetria Lunetta
In the End - Demetria Lunetta
G: That’s like the same cover.
C: I really thought it was a slightly altered paperback redesign.

Cover Battles:

1. Bruised – Sarah Skilton

Bruised - Sarah Skilton

Hardback vs. Paperback:
G: I much prefer the original.
C: Me too, mostly because I wouldn’t know what was happening on the paperback if I hadn’t seen the hardcover.

2. Unchosen (The Reaper Diaries #2) – Michele Vail

Unchosen - Michele Vail

Harlequin Teen vs. A. Freeman:
G: It’s a mondo ick mess.
C: If death has never looked this good, well…just wow. Also, what’s the deal with the switch from Harlequin? Anyone know?

3. Vengeance – Megan Miranda

Vengeance - Megan Miranda

UK vs. US:
C: So either it can look like it’s about fairies or a guy peeing in a lake. And, seriously, how did he get onto that little dock thing?

4. The Art of Wishing (The Art of Wishing #1) – Lindsay Ribar

The Art of Wishing
The Art of Wishing (The Art of Wishing #1) - Lindsay Ribar

Hardback vs. Paperback:
G: I wish for this cover to go back to the way it was.
C: I wish for that as well, and for publishers to stop redesigning the GOOD covers.

5. My First Love and Other Disasters (Victoria Martin #2) – Francine Pascal

My First Love and Other Disasters
My First Love and Other Disasters - Francine Pascal

Original vs. Redesign:
G: Loving Lilly Kane was certainly a disaster.
C: But I’m still going for the Seyfried cover for the lols.

6. The Violent Century – Lavie Tidhar

The Violent Century - Lavie Tidhar
The Violent Century - Lavie Tidhar

Hodder vs. ?:
C: This book has the COOLEST covers.
G: I like this one even better.
C: I have a weakness for anthropomorphized things.

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?” If you would like to be part of the fun and have spotted a truly hilarious or horrifying cover, submit it and your snark to and you might be included, though I will filter through submissions and limit the number of entries per week.

1. Invasion – A. Star
Invasion - A. Star
G: He really her rocked her woooorld.

2. His Reign (The Opeth Pack Saga #1) – Sascha Illyvich
His Reign by Sascha Illyvich
G: More like the Opeth Package Saga!
C: Looks like he’s checking to make sure his package is still there.

3. When Pleasure Blooms – Lance Greenfield
When Pleasure Blooms - Lance Greenfield
C: ……

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

The Cabinet of Curiosities by Stefan Bachmann, Claire Legrand, Katherine Catmull, Emma Trevayne

The Outstanding Cover of the Week is chosen by a Cover Snark reader. They are free to pick any of the week’s covers, whether they’re to my personal tastes or not. If you’d like to choose the cover for a week, either email or tweet me. You will need to be available Wednesday evening to consult.

The Cabinet of Curiosities

Today, Gillian, my co-snarker and Writer of Wrongs (Writer of Wrongs), selected The Cabinet of Curiosities. Here’s why:

“I picked this cover because of how unique and charming it is. There are so many little details and new monsters to discover, and there’s a lovely, magical, almost whimsical quality to it. It reminds me of a lot of my favorite animated movies, which is always a plus in my book.”

To learn more or purchase: Goodreads|Amazon|TBD|B&N

21 responses to “Cover Snark (76): The One Where We Write Wrongs”

  1. Alessandra says:

    My favourite is The Cabinet of Curiosities, too! I also like valentine Joe, because of the poppies.
    Alessandra recently posted…Book Review: Torch by Cambria HebertMy Profile

  2. Anya says:

    “Serious waste of a dragon” <3! At least there was a better dragon cover better on 😉
    Anya recently posted…Wednesdays in the Tower by Jessica Day George ARC {4 Stars}My Profile

  3. Katie says:

    I’m totally with you on the outstanding cover of the week. GORGEOUS! I’m in love with it.

    Also, I had no idea the cover for MERIDIAN had been revealed. EEEPPP!!!! I don’t love it…but I didn’t really like the cover for the first one either. Whatever, I need that book RIGHT NOW! I’M SO EXCITED! IS IT 2014 YET?!
    Katie recently posted…Top 10 Books I Read in SchoolMy Profile

  4. MJ says:

    1) Reminds me of James and the Giant Peach in a good way.

    2) He looks like he should be in a coffee commercial. Alas, I do not see a cup of Foldgers on the cover.

    11) Tyra Banks need to tell ANTM contestants NOT to do this instead of teaching smizing all the time. I think there’s a reason she didn’t have a model posing for her sad excuse of a YA book.

    12) The red really does look bad. I actually love the first cover though. Sort of sad this one’s a bit of a disappointment.

    16) Why does the model look so bored? And honestly, why do all these dresses basically look the same but in different colors?

    26) It’s nice enough. I really don’t get how she’s going to wear that in Egypt though. I am all for the pretty dress trend, but sometimes you have to be a little practical.

    38) Try to put every fantasy cliche into one cover.

    42) The pose just looks bad. Like they just had her lying down on a green sheet.

    44) Yawn…seen it several times.

    48) I just don’t understand so many things about this cover. And the hash tag trend is just stupid.

    58) Snooze.

    59) LOL, at your description. LYdia death via swan. Well, that’s a first.

    60) Wondering if that postbox is demonic.

    61) For any girl whoever dreamed of having a pony…and instead got a unicorn.
    MJ recently posted…Tuning In: Witches of East End (Episode 1.2-better known as that episode of Charmed with the Painting)My Profile

  5. Bonnie says:

    1. The details are fantastic! I love everything about this cover. Don’t usually read a lot of short stories but will definitely be picking this one up.
    2. I’m so sick of this guys face.
    3. Tagline makes no sense. Cute cover though.
    4. I love everything about this cover too. I must run to Goodreads and hope for a similarly amazing summary.

    … UK ONLY? *rage*
    5. I do like her shirt but .. her sleeves aren’t fluttering? Did she just do a hair-flip or is the wind somehow blowing only her hair? *confused*
    6. Thems some shiny shoes. My brain would have appreciate a different non-blending colored background this early in the morning though.
    7. The tagline tied in with the heartbeat is lame. Like this cover.
    9. Also reminds me of the Loud Awake and Lost cover.
    10. The trees are trying to communicate.
    11. The pain is great with this one.
    12. At a glance I totally thought this chick was bleeding too. Her eye color creeps me out for some reason.
    13. I totally thought of Attachments too. I like a good minimalist cover.
    14. WHOA! That is the chick from Rose Under Fire, how crazy! That pixelated stuff makes my brain feel funny.
    17. Omg what is wrong with her face. This hurts my brain too.
    20. Would have been better to just leave off the dragon. Or make him look like an actual fucking dragon, not some sticker on the moon.
    26. I call dibs on the pretty earrings.
    35. *cries* why are all the covers hurting my brain today?
    47. Is he a part of the Blue Man Group?
    48. The hashtag titles are going to take over, I can see it now.
    52. I totally thought it was a grassy background or something, not someones freaking arm. Gross. And what’s up with making title fonts so freaking big the words get broken up? Dumb.
    53. hahahaha Duty.
    55. LOL I can’t stop laughing. I loved Dare Me though so I’ll forgive the cover. And only get this on kindle. I think she’s spazzing out like Gwyneth did in Contagion.
    56. Bored. But I think I need to try a Kasie West novel one of these days.
    57. Once again, you’re reading my mind. That is totally Zooey.
    58. Get that girl some heels.
    61. That unicorn looks possessed.
    63. Well. It’s a better dragon than the one on that earlier cover but something is still off about this one.
    65. Those are absolutely fantastic.
    66. You’re purposely picking covers that hurt my brain now, aren’t you. It’s a conspiracy.
    WTF 2 – Is that tree growing out of his pants?
    Bonnie recently posted…Changes: New Blog, New NameMy Profile

  6. Janet says:

    Despite being included, (hashtag trend, I wish I KNEW) I love me some snark. Many were laugh out louds. Nice job!

  7. Whoo boy, this is going to be a long snark. I hope you’re enjoying yourselves out there in California!

    2. He’s like Pepe/the dude on the JLA alien covers, in a way, but I find Pepe’s image just a little more annoying. One of these days, someone needs to find ALL the covers that use stock images of him and his girl. It will be terrifying, surely.

    3. I think the tagline is saying “I’ll meet you in exile” or something? I don’t even know, but I agree that is a useless little cable.

    5. It reminds me of my hair back when I wore it long and dyed it red. She’ll need more than just one hair tie for all that!

    6. Meh. I don’t like flats. I also hate the tagline because she has to kiss some other girl’s boyfriend to keep it secret that she did that herself. I’m REALLY not into those kinds of books and I didn’t think it would be like that, so this one might be taking a dive off my TBR pile into the pool of LOLNO.

    8. She reminds me vaguely of Amanda Seyfried. Only vaguely, though. It’s in the face, but it would be even more striking if you dyed her hair blonde. Whatever the case, I want that ornament in her hair even if mine is too short to wear it. PRETTY THING.

    11. Yeeeeaaaaah, her BO looks like it’s about to erase her abdomen from existence. I think she should see a doctor about that.

    12. I’m just thankful her eye isn’t fucked up anymore because of light reflecting in it. It’s normal! Yay!

    16. He looks mildly baffled too. “What is this? Is it edible?” Yes, it is edible, but that would be cannibalism.

    17. This cover is why my photography professor told us to be careful when using the cutting board. If we screw around, we have to do some fixing and then we end up with THIS.

    19. Christina, I hope you bail out on the being Grace Kelly before you die in a car crash. That would suck because no more Cover Snark.

    24. If you make that many boob jokes over such little cleavage from such small boobs, I’m going to have to keep both of you blindfolded when I’m around you or “breasts” will be the only words you speak.

    26. -steals dress because gorgeousness; it would match my eyes-

    29. Well, if it says so…

    35. Oh. Wow. I like pink and all, but I hope this looks better in-person because this is not that pretty. 🙁

    36. It appears he went to the Daemon Black School of Posing with Love Interests. Lesson one: hold her while she’s sleeping–or drugged. Your choice.

    38. I think she said/thought something along the lines of, “Is that fire I smell? Is Camelot burning? I don’t know…” And she doesn’t turn around for whatever reason.

    42. Actually, I’m ninety percent sure this cover/book is already out. I swear I’ve been in bookstores and seen it multiple times over the last year or two.

    51. I bet this will look really, really cool on the finished copy.

    56. I really really reeeeeaaaaally I hope I like this one more than The Distance Between Us. Her books all sound cute as hell, but Pivot Point worked so much better.

    61. Okay, my face totally froze at this one. It’s so gaudy and awful, but I love everything about it. I’M CONFLICTED.

    66 Still a really weird cover concept, but I will forgive it because PRETTY COLORS. So shiny IRL. <3

    2. I will get to researching when I feel less lazy and exhausted.

    4. I'm going to sit here and hold my hardcover to my bosom. The paperback will probably look nice, but I like the original so much more.
    Ashleigh Paige recently posted…Review: After Eden by Helen DouglasMy Profile

  8. 1. Gorgeous. These are my favorite types of covers.
    2. The only thing I like are the swirls..
    3. What a strange tagline!
    4. Love it 😀 The tagline sounds interesting.
    8. I’m not such a fan of face-covers, but what a stunning girl. She reminds me a bit of Natalie Dormer.
    13. That’s.. different. I’m not sure how I feel about it.
    14. Blegh.
    16. Yes, she also reminds me of Rebekah and it does look like the boy is about to take a bit out of her.
    17. It freaks me out. I can’t look at it for too long, makes my head spin.
    19. I like it, but it actually looks more like a cover for a novella.
    20. Cute font with the decoration around the C & M.
    26. Haha, yes. I don’t understand why she looks so bored/angry.
    27. I love the different fonts.
    36. The only thing I like it the “U”
    38. I actually like it :p
    39. Hm, don’t hate it/don’t like it, but after my fangirling for Tiger Lily I’ll read anything from her.
    40. I hope it’s not a waste like the pretty cover for The replacement. Hated that book..
    50. Love it. So many details!
    53. Blegh..
    66. You don’t want to look at this cover is you are epileptic. Spacing.

    The WTF.. I can’t even..
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Review 206. Sarah Maas – Throne of glass novella’s.My Profile

  9. Angie F. says:

    1. That is really cute!

    3. I like the bright colors and it does have me curious what that tagline is all about.

    10. *humming* Dammit..this song will never leave me!!!

    16. The covers for this series bore me, but I do like pink.

    26. I love these covers.

    36. Another one?!!? Stop already! I’m still not over my anger at the first book!

    40. *approves*

    61. I don’t know, or care, what this book is about. I need it.


    4. Definitely the Hardcover!

    5. I have a huge crush on Amanda Seyfried, so…


    1. OMG…what…

    2. LoL

    3. *stares* Well then…
    Angie F. recently posted…Review: The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly BlackMy Profile

  10. 1. Sorry, Gillian’ description wins ALL the points.

    4. Pretty, but I’m so so tired of “_____’s Wife/Daughter/Other Relation” titles. BE YOUR OWN PERSON!

    5. Not to be contrary (okay, yeah, kinda to be contrary), but since she’s standing on a shore, isn’t that where the water BEGINS?

    8. Oh my. Usually people covers are meh, but this is legitimately pretty.

    10. DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T!

    15. I am attached to this cover solely because I, too, hate the nickname “baby.”

    16. You really could have turned this into a musical Cover Snark between Kate Quinn’s cover and this one. Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea! Hey, Pepto-Bismol!


    19. Stay away from cliffs, Christina. That’s all I’ll say.

    23. I was semi-interested until I saw the series title. Now I keep muttering “And wuv… TWUE wuv… will fowwow you… fowavaaaaa…”

    24. If I were an author, I would be very uncomfortable about having my name tattooed in hot pink across my character’s midriff.

    27. Oh! Poppies! I sense British accents!

    28. MOAR POINTS TO GILLIAN! (And if a Lumiere-esque character could appear in this story, I would die happy.)

    32. Are superheroes the newest mini-trend? I might be okay with that. Maybe.

    36. And once again, a girl on a cover is flashing EEEEEEEEEEVERYONE off to the side.

    38. Lame and fake-looking. And she looks so BORED! Also, is there any reason she HAD to be white? Why can’t Merlin’s apprentice have a little more melanin?

    40. Reminds me of that animated Monster House movie. (Also, I CAUGHT THAT REFERENCE, TOO.)

    44. No no no. That tagline reeks of instalove. No.

    51. ‘Cause they got friiiiiiends on the other siiiiiiiiide!

    52. Oh, is that his arm? I was going to guess either monster bottom lip or an elephant trunk. It could go either way.

    55. This REALLY could have been a musical Cover Snark, because now I want to sing Family Force 5. “FEEEVAAAA! FEEVAAAA! Feeva’s got me sweatin’ and you know I’m burnin’ uuuup!”

    63. “Let sleeping gods lie”? Okay, no way I’m skipping past a tagline like that. (Or is it the title/series title? I CAN’T TELL.)

    67. The cover looked way less blue on Tea Time. But did you guys read the synopsis? IT’S ABOUT DRAGONS. AND THE MILITARY. IN THE FUTURE.

    CB3. I dunno, but I feel like something is going to jump out of the water and pull him under. He needs to get away from the edge. Now.

    CB6. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Hello, gorgeous!
    Shae/Shelver @ Shae Has Left The Room recently posted…#RBWL Returns!My Profile

  11. #1- Might be my favorite cover of 2013. Thank you for posting this because I need to add that cover to this week’s discussion post.

    #4- I love this one too. I really love books that have timepieces on the cover.

    #7- I’m sorry but I love this too. I love the contrast in the colors, and I love covers that have streetlights and buildings of some kind. I could actually do without the people. I do not like people on covers. Usually.

    #12- Cannot stand covers where the person’s eyes are clearly shopped and not real.

    #21- LOL. Your comments on this one crack me up.

    #25- This cover is STUPID.

    #34- This cover is sooo cute!

    #39,#40- Love both. They will also go in my cover discussion post this week.

    #69- Very disappointed. I liked the first cover enough and this is just worse. 🙁
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  12. Angie says:

    Two of my favorite people co-snarking? Best. Cover Snark. Ever.

    1-That is a gorgeous magical cover. I must have.

    2-HE’S SO CREEPY. The entire reasy I will never read any book that his face is on the cover of.

    6-I love this cover. And the shoes. Shiny gold shoes.*drool*

    10-I actually think this one is pretty cool. At least its not a girl. In a dress.

    12-loling so hard at a giant zit. Now that is all I’ll ever see when I look at this cover.

    22-Wait…what’s a landline? I thought those were extinct. Like Dinosaurs.

    26-I love this cover but mostly I just want to steal her dress. We have discussed my desire that we revert back to this fashion era so I can wear big beautiful gowns every day.

    39-But it’s so pretty.

    56-I don’t love the cover but I do kinda like that it’s similar to The Distane Between Us. But without awesome shoes. But yay new Kasie West.
    Angie recently posted…Review: This Is How I Find Her by Sara PolskyMy Profile

  13. Kayla Beck says:

    10. Ugh! Now I have that awful freakin’ song in my head. CHANGE THE TITLE! *dies*

    18. Her nose – I’m hoping that it’s her nose – looks very strange at this angle. I mean besides the purple.

    26. I love her makeup. That’s all. *stares*

    36. I call shenanigans on that pose. There’s no fucking way that you’ll look like that underwater.

    38. IT’S A BUBO EAGLE!

    42. You know what, every time someone mentions those damn Weeping Angels, I have to practice keeping my eyes open. They terrify me greatly.

    50. *sneaks over to Amazon*

    53. This is close enough to chocolaty that I want to eat it.

    61. FUCK YES! I’m buying it.

    66. Umm… Whuuuuut?
    Kayla Beck recently posted…Blog Tour (Review & Giveaway): Just Ella by Annette K. LarsenMy Profile

  14. Meg says:

    I would like to formally request that you and Gillian do joint Cover Snark on the semi-regular from here on out. I had tears from all the laughter by the time I got to the end.

    Apparently I have to go re-buy all of my Discworlds because WANT. Also, The Cabinet of Curiosities cover is so pretty I don’t know what to do with myself.
    Meg recently posted…Review: The Enchanter Heir by Cinda Williams ChimaMy Profile

  15. Lyn Kaye says:

    2 – The whole hug looks….awkward…
    11 – I liked the cover, but you are SO RIGHT! Time to smell le armpit!
    15 – *laughs forever*
    20 Oh! This cover ALMOST had it!
    24 – What is with the author’s name on her belly like some tat? No.
    34 – Ew! They are!
    36. Vomit vomit vomit.
    37 – LIKE!
    43 – LIKE!
    44 – Nap in the grass – love it.
    65 – Dude, DUDE! LOVE THEM!
    66 I have to admit, I love it.
    Lyn Kaye recently posted…Stacking the Shelves #63My Profile

  16. Lynn K. says:

    1. The Cabinet of Curiosities: 40 Tales Brief & Sinister – Gillian’s comment aptly describes it!

    6. Life by Committee – Ooh, pretty. Interesting composition and colours.

    12. Born of Deception – Cherry zit. Pffft. But it’s pretty. If there is a third book wonder if it’d be green or blue?

    13. Say What You Will – Love the Rowell-esque style but it looks rather plain. Maybe because of the white background?

    14. Free to Fall – She’s on another edition of The Raven Boys too.

    16. Sweet Reckoning – Finally someone who thinks she looks like Claire Holt! I wonder what the original colour of the dress was…red, black and now pink…

    22. Landline – Hmmm…a bit too flat.

    23. Only Everything – They remind me of the models on Moira Young’s BRR series.

    26. Strange and Ever After – HOW DID I MISS THIS??? The title doesn’t flow as well as the first 2 BUT THAT DRESS. THAT BACKGROUND. GORGEOUS. (She looks a bit like Caroline from TVD here). A bit too much black though, IMO.

    33. The Gospel of Winter – Glass Casket wannabe? o.o

  17. kara-karina says:

    I treasure your Snark posts, Christina! 🙂 I always find so many interesting books here. WTF of the week as always is an eye opener :)))
    kara-karina recently posted…The Postman Knock #50My Profile

  18. Judith says:

    Last time you were my distraction from work. This week, it’s procrastination, because I’m studying. Yay! I’m especially excited because you + Gillian = double awesomeness.

    2. OMG FLOATING PEOPLE! How original! Why don’t we have more of those covers in YA?! Cover designers are obviously missing out.

    3. This is very… yellow. I don’t like yellow. Or fuchsia. Nope.

    4. The background is beautiful! I want this book to be background and awesome typography only.

    6. Too much randomness going on. Nothing matches in this cover. Though maybe you can recognize people who kiss other people’s boyfriends by their shoes?

    7. Ohhh myyy godddd don’t tell me this is a book about two misunderstood teens who fall in love in one epic night? *falls asleep*

    10. Don’t youuuuuuu forget about meeee don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t youuuuu. *dances away*

    12. The idea that a red veil would look good on anyone was deception.

    15. If this is a book about how terrible nicknames are then I will forgive this book for the terrible cover. I hope they also address siren, fairy, angel, sugar pie, etc.

    20. This could have been awesome, but it’s very meh. Too bad.

    21. Ooooh I quite like this. At least the font is good.

    22. There’s bad covers, there’s okay covers, there’s good covers, there’s amazing covers, and then there’s Rainbow Rowell’s covers. Though the grey/yellow combination is not my favorite.

    25. Okay this is weird, but I think it’s kind of awesome! Though he doesn’t agree.

    26. Why doesn’t my hair do that?

    27. I like this cover but I’m confused by the mega giant flowers. They are not supposed to do that. Unless he’s a toy soldier.

    32. No capes was the first thing I thought, lol.

    36. I honestly loved the first cover in this series but WTF IS THIS SHIT?!

    40. Well, that does not look like a nice place to live.

    41. Oh look, it’s the most interesting cover ever.

    42. Don’t close your eyes, because you never know when the road stops and you FALL.

    43. Me likes the title.

    46. Oops, my bad. THIS is the most interesting cover ever.

    55. I’m not sure what she’s doing, but it does not look comfortable.

    56. Hmmmm this looks almost self-published.

    57. THAT is unacceptable. Jess and Nick are end game.

    65. LOOOOOVE these! Especially the orange one because DRAGON.

    68. This is very I-want-to-be-Jennifer-E.-Smith-ish.

    CB 2. Somehow the main character switched genders. Okay, cool.

    4. Sigh, redesigns.

    5. I’ll tell you how her summer went wrong: she got effing murdered. And her first love was definitely not meant to be because he was destined for Veronica Mars and they are perfection so…

    6. THEY ARE BOTH SO COOL! I might like the new one even more because THAT THING HAS A FACE.

    WTF 3. Um……. okay then.
    Judith recently posted…Mini Review: Catching JordanMy Profile

  19. Saji Connor says:

    I really like this appointment!!!! <3

    1- I definitely love-love-love this cover!!
    22- I like this grey and yellow cover, it reminds me to the 70's!
    24- Seriously?
    39- Oh it reminds me to the dvd cover of the film "Big fish" by Tim Burton! With ugly random rub-ons added all around…
    46- LOL… your comments!
    63- I like it, yep!

    WTF… no way, unbelievable….
    Saji Connor recently posted…In & Out # 5My Profile

  20. 1. I looooove this one. All the creepy faces and teeth *___* My favourite is also the umbrella. I want one. Also, there are always tentacles in your Cover Snark posts. Always.

    2. And I always love a good ATLA reference.

    5. I can no longer tell these covers apart.

    7. I kind of like it? The sky is pretty, and the yellow stars are cute. That tagline though…

    10. Every time I see this cover I get that Simple Minds song stuck in my head. Every. Time.

    14. Good job on identifying the eyebrows, Gillian! I wouldn’t have made the connection.

    15. Another song that gets stuck in my head.

    19. I’m torn. I agree that it’s kind of cool. But insects. INSECTS.

    30. It took me ages to figure out the title from this cover.

    31. I’m cracking up at the CAW. My stomach hurts.

    36. Why aren’t their clothes more see-through?

    37. I really like this! It reminds me of Terra Nova and Jurassic Park.

    39. But the Tiger Lily cover was so pretty ;___;

    40. LOVE THIS.

    42. What is it with using songs as book titles? There’s a remix going on inside my head.

    45. Not entirely sure what’s going on here, but I don’t like how his hands are balled up into fists.

    48. #nomegusta


    56. I've decided that I like the cover because it's a Kasie West cover. And the girl on the front is short. It's a good reason.

    63. I thought those coins were British at first glance. THERE'S A DRAGON IN BUCKINGHAMSHIRE.

    66. I looooove how the first cover was dark, and this one is light. But the first book was about the people living in the light, and I assume this one features the opposite.

    68. I'm not a fan of the person on this one, I must say.

    69. Erm. Yeah.

    CB2. The new guy totally looks like one of the men at my hairdressers. Cannot unsee. The one with the short hair looks broody too.

    CB4. Stoppppppp, the new one is horrible.

    CB5. LILLY! Also, how can they do that with their legs in the new one? Mine won't stay that straight.
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