Cover Snark (60): Snarkcaster

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Finally remembered to add the banner Giselle made for me through Xpresso Design!

Shiny and New:
1. The Shadow Throne (The Ascendence Trilogy #3) – Jennifer A. Nielsen

Thoughts: I do like the background texture and everything, but I’m not a fan of how fake the items in the covers look. Obviously it’s stylistic, but not a style I care for.

2. Wind Warrior (World Aflame #1) – Jon Messenger

Thoughts: This reminds me of that scene in Hitchhiker’s Guide where the whale is plummeting towards the earth wondering if the ground will be his friend. The boy obviously thinks the tornado will be his friend. Hugging a tornado is a bad life choice.

3. Indelible – Bethany Lopez

Thoughts: The curveball: she’s actually a man. He stumbled into the WRONG biker bar.

4. The Sound of Letting Go by Stasia Ward Kehoe

Thoughts: Huh, if this is a cancer book, I’m going to start having a serious complex about dandelions.

5. The Accidental Assassin – Nichole Chase

Thoughts: As in she accidentally shot a hole in her own leg?

6. Noggin – John Corey Whaley

Thoughts: Oh look! It’s the boyfriend of the Pretty Little Liars covers!

7. Into the Still Blue (Under the Never Sky #3) – Veronica Rossi

Thoughts: You mean the still purple?

8. Perfect Lies (Mind Games #2) – Kiersten White

Thoughts: Second verse, same as the first. Only less captivating the second time around.

9. Manor of Secrets – Katherine Longshore

Thoughts: The lesser known fourth Crawley sister.

10. Chokepoint – Jonathan Maberry

Thoughts: Trying to decide if a zombie soldier is more dangerous than other zombies. They wouldn’t remember their training, would they? Let’s hope not.

11. Perfect Ruin (The Internment Chronicles #1) – Lauren DeStefano

Thoughts: The gears at the top left sort of look like a bicycle hanging in the trees over her head. Also, what is it with teased hair and Lauren DeStefano? It’s like the 80s up in here.

12. House of Ivy & Sorrow – Natalie Whipple

Thoughts: I love text covers, but they’re not really that fun to snark. House does sort of look like it has antlers, though, which is fun.

13. Avalon – Mindee Arnett

Thoughts: Time for another thrilling round of What the Eff is Happening in this Cover?! To me, it looks like bubbles trapped in a spider web. Why? Couldn’t tell you.

14. The Edge of Falling – Rebecca Serle

Thoughts: There’s no place like pavement. There’s no place like pavement. There’s no place like pavement.

15. Prince of Shadows – Rachel Caine

Thoughts: Well, this is different. I’m pretty sure that shadow is supposed to be Romeo, but it looks enough like her in height and shape that the only reason I know that is that the shadow has a collar. Also, why does this girl looking at me like I just stole her chocolate bar?

16. Fragile Spirits (Souls #2) – Mary Lindsey

Thoughts: I do like her pink hair. Not sure why she’s falling though. Did an angel just drop her? What a dick.

17. Ask Again Later – Liz Czukas

Thoughts: This cover sponsored by Magic Eight Balls and Claire’s.

18. Rise of the Arcane Fire (The Secret Order #2) – Kristin Bailey

Thoughts: Oooh, I like the mechanical octopus arm. Way cooler than weird clockwork bird, which the octopus probably just knocked out of the sky.

19. Resistance (Replica Trilogy #2) – Jenna Black

Thoughts: Guest snark from Hannah of The Irish Banana Review: “Resistance is futile … so move along. This cover isn’t getting any better. I HATE covers like this. They look like a 6th grade photoshop project.”

20. Conjure (Tethered #2) by Jennifer Snyder

Thoughts: A POC! He has super pretty eyes. Also, that ornamentation under the title makes it look like his chest has a mustache.

21. Stormcaster (Witching Season #1) by Alyxandra Harvey

Thoughts: Rookie stormcaster mistake: casting a storm inside your own home because you can. Hopefully she has home insurance.

22. Black Arts (Jane Yellowrock #7) – Faith Hunter

Thoughts: She’s got a very Tomb Raider vibe going on in this cover. Even the giant cat is like “naww, man, I’m going to go eat a rabbit instead.”

23. The Witch Is Back (Life’s a Witch #3) – Brittany Geragotelis

Thoughts: Blonde girl is PISSED she didn’t get to be the one with a sparkler for a finger. It also looks like she’s not got her left hand on her hip but on her stomach, probably wondering how long until she can go eat a carrot stick (dipped in ranch!) from the shoot’s food table.

24. Defy – Sara B. Larson

Thoughts: You know, it is possible to make a high fantasy YA novel that doesn’t have a sword on the cover. Just because Cinda Williams Chima and Kristin Cashore did it doesn’t mean ALL of them have to be like this. DEFY convention, book cover. Also, that rose handle looks so lame.

25. Firebrand (Elemental Trilogy #2) – Antony John

Thoughts: Allegiant Two: Electric Boogaloo

26. Wayfarer (Tales of Beauty & Madness #2) – Lili St. Crow

Thoughts: Aside from the title font, which is a bit hard to read, I kind of love this. 1920s Cinderella? That sounds AWESOME.

27. Pointe – Brandy Colbert

Thoughts: Why is the floor furry?

28. The Polaris Uprising (Polaris #1) by Jennifer Ibarra

Thoughts: They just snuck that tag line right in there. Can’t annoy people if it blends into the background, right?

29. Darkest Day (The 19th Year #3) – Emi Gayle

Thoughts: Why is “go” in a different font? Also, looking at that guy, my vote is let him go. You can do better, honey.

30. My Girlfriend Bites – Doug Solter

Thoughts: The font treatments are awful, and her face creeps me out, but that hair forming the wolf effect is awesome!

31. Rebel Belle – Rachel Hawkins

Thoughts: This is the best we could do with this? This necklace is ridiculous, like a smiley face with Xs for eyes.

32. Cruel Beauty – Rosamund Hodge

Thoughts: Love the rose and staircase twirling effect. I’d like this a lot better without the girl in it. And without the tagline that hints at super sappy forbidden romance.

33. All That Glows – Ryan Graudin

Thoughts: That font treatment is awesome, so why did they waste it on a boring picture of a girl. BLEH. All That Glows here is her eye shadow.

34. Vengeance Borne (Sentry of Evil #1) – Amanda Bonilla

Thoughts: At first I was just bored by another paranormal cover with a sexy lady, but then I saw the creepy ass face floating in the forest. What the fuck is that?!?!?!

Cover Battles:

1. Act Like You Love Me (Accidentally in Love #2) – Cindi Madsen

Take 1 vs. Take 2: He still looks like he’s plotting her demise, but at least she’s actually making an effort to look like she doesn’t loathe every fiber of his being. We also have a tagline change for the better; it actually tells us the plot this time, rather than randomly turning into a Dean Martin song. My Pick: Take 2.

2. Stained – Cheryl Rainfield

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Why did I think this book was out already? They revealed this cover SUPER early. NGL, I totally pegged both of these as self-pub covers, too, which was wrong. Still like the tagline best, which is weird. I do like the new one better, I guess, but only just barely. My Pick: Take 2.

3. Entangled – Amy Rose Capetta

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Now that’s a good change. No longer just floating head in space. Floating head above a city and the title ends with a guitar for some reason! And an emo tagline about music. Bahaha, the new cover is ridiculous, but I am highly entertained. My Pick: Take 2.

4. Shooting Scars (The Artists Trilogy #2) – Karina Halle

Self-Pub vs. Grand Central: I’ve got to give this one to the indie designers. I loved the color on the font treatment in their version, and it’s not just a half-naked tattooed guy, which has been done to death. Also, the shading on the guy’s back makes it look like a chunk is missing from his side. Haha. My Pick: Self-pub

 5. Pretty Crooked (Pretty Crooked #1) – Elisa Ludwig

Hardback vs. Paperback: Oh, great, another series redesigned to look more like everything else that exists. Someone wants in on the money Ally Carter‘s making.

6. Pretty Sly (Pretty Crooked #2) – Elisa Ludwig

Take 1 vs. Take 2: Seriously, these were cute and funny and unique. Now they’re boring. BOO.

 7. The Glass Casket by McCormick Templeman

Kat Kennedy (x3) vs. Random House: Recommendation: don’t use strawberry-flavored nail polish on the models. You know they’re starving. They can’t be blamed for this happening. Also, add secrets to the list of words that should never be in a tagline. This book is about secrets coming out! How original! That’s not like EVERY OTHER BOOK IN THE WORLD. Oh wait. My Pick: Toss up between the middle one Kat did and the official cover. Not loving any of them, sadly.

WTF of the Week:

1. No One Else Can Have You – Kathleen Hale

Thoughts: Uhhh, Harper, what gives? This is funny, but an ugly sweater cover? I’m questioning the appeal for teenagers.

2. American Girl on Saturn – Nikki Godwin

Thoughts: Where the fuck is the bottom half of her body? You know it was a great party when everything below the waist is literally kaput.

3. Manic (Rook and Ronin #2) – JA Huss

Thoughts: Yes, tagline, you said it better than I ever could have.

4. Forever Promised (Promises #4)- Amy Lane

Thoughts: M/M romance has the most hilarious covers. Also, is it weird that this makes me think of LOTR?

74 responses to “Cover Snark (60): Snarkcaster”

  1. Great cover snark! Entangled looks so self-published, it’s not even funny!
    -Scott Reads It!

  2. The facial expressions on Indelible and that Manic one are just so bad. I remember seeing them earlier in the week and laughing my ass off. Cover designers should really pay more attention to that, there is nothing that will make me laugh at your book like a bad facial expression on the cover model.

    • Christina says:

      I know! So many cover models are making these derp faces and it’s like really? That’s how you want me to think about your book? Derpy in love? Derpy Rides a Motorcycle? I should write children’s books.

  3. Hugging a tornado is a bad life choice. I just snorted at my computer and now my boss knows that I’m not doing what I should. That Manic cover is just atrocious. I’ve seen it a few times this week and it just gets worse. I do like the cover for Wayfarer and I love the rose/staircase design of Cruel Beauty. I love the cover for No One Else. It’s hilarious. And totally agree on Pretty Sly/Crooked. Those covers were so cute and the redesign is bor-ing! Yay, Cover Snark!

    • Christina says:

      Whoops! I should put an NSFW label on this, haha. I can’t actually decide if I love or hate the cover for No One Else, but it’s definitely a weird one that made me laugh, so it had to be a WTF. Redesigns should not make covers more boring!

  4. Honestly, ugly sweater cover is my pick of the lot. Totally interested in reading that one.

    As always, you make me laugh 😀

  5. Judith says:

    Ooooh the banner is so pretty!!

    2. I just embarrassed myself and laughed out loud in a room full of people. But the thought of that guy trying to hug the tornado was just too funny.

    3. Meanwhile he is like “Who do you think you are? You’re obviously not good enough for ALL OF THIS.”

    6. Again, laughing. People probably think I’m so cool right now. (Actually anti social but w/e!)

    7. Is this the hardcover? Because if it is, I DO NOT LIKE not matching covers. Of course.

    8. Whoa, creative. I prefer the first one though.

    11. While I would have preferred it without a girl on the cover, I actually think this is pretty! I love the fonts and the decoration.

    13. I’ve been staring at this cover for a few minutes but tbh, I have no idea what the hell is going on. Except that that dude needs to get out of there asap.

    14. I’m glad that the pavement is blurry because EEP HEIGHTS. I don’t like those very much. *curls up on the floor*

    16. I like this! It’s pretty! Though the look on her face tells us that she’s just chilling. “How YOU doin’?”

    19. These people look like Sims.

    22. The art of duckfaces.

    25. Ha. Allegiant was the first thing that popped into my head. That was a no for me. This is as well.

    27. Pretty, but there’s too much dust everywhere.

    30. This could have been a really cool illustrated font but NO. *grumbles about wasted potential*

    33. MORE POTENTIAL. Love the font. Hate the face. Not every book needs a FACE.


    WTF 2. So there is this Danish crime show called The Bridge where they find two halves of two different bodies. This girl probably played the role of one of the victims.

    • Christina says:

      Glad you like it!

      2. Victory! You’re the second person to do that!

      3. Male model: *pouts*

      6. But you can be antisocial and still have friends on the interwebs!

      7. This is the UK cover!

      11. Yeah, the girl definitely doesn’t need to be there.

      13. If you’re not sure what’s attacking, best to leave.

      14. Me either, unless I am safely protected. No edges for me.

      16. More Friends! Haha. I think she looks like she’s floating like Alice in Wonderland.

      19. I never played that, so I don’t really know what they look like.

      22. That’s the Angelina look.

      25. They’re not the worst, but not great either. I wonder how many confused teens will accidentally buy this one?

      30. Pretty much. They obviously had a talented illustrator, so why not have him/her finish the job?

      33. Agreed. And I find this face especially annoying.

      34. I have no idea what that means, but I take it you’re not a fan.

      2. HAHAHA

  6. I LOLed hard at your 6, 7 and 14 comments.

  7. Fuck yessssss, snark time. I need it this morning because the law school that’s been blowing up my phone in Spanish has Grumpy Ashleigh especially grumpy.


    3. I love her face. She’s plotting something! I love plotting ladies on covers. Mwahahahaha.

    5. Well, that’s another way to break the fourth wall: shoot it.

    6. That creeps me out. We will speak of it no more. No more!

    9. Dress please! She looks kinda apathetic to me.

    11. Her hair looks like it got caught in a hurricane and dried into that barely-identifiable mess.

    13. I think it’s a junk machine dragon monster thing.

    14. Seeing the author’s name made me twitch. On that subject, the blue is so oversaturated I can barely see the title and author name. OW.

    15. I’m expecting her to say WHUT U TALKIN BOUT CHRISTINA?

    16. I kinda love everything about this cover: the pink hair, the detail, the texture, and her outfit. ME WANT.

    23. I love the girliness of these covers but hear they’re really, really bad. D:

    25. Why are they just standing around when that fiery mass of tree limbs and shit is coming right at them?!

    26. I’ll take her dress as soon as it gets repaired.

    27. Because she’s sitting on shag carpet! I wonder how that feels.

    29. Even SHE knows she can do better. Look at that face! She’s rolling her eyes without actually rolling them.

    31. Now that you’ve pointed out how the necklace creates a smiley face with Xs for eyes, I like it because I’m creeped out. That face… THAT FACE…! IT’S STARING AT ME AND WANTS MY SOOOOUL.

    32. Until further notice, the tagline is a lie. A LIE. I love the sound of the book too much and love the cover.

    33. I still say she’s either screaming “BURN IN HELL” or “HELP ME” in her head.

    3. THE CITY IS EXPLODING INTO FACES AND WORDS. The new cover makes me want to get to it quicker, but I can’t. D: DAMN IT ALL.

    5 and 6: I refuse to read them because the MC breaks into someone’s house and I can’t read books with home invasions in them, especially with a dumb motivation like stealing clothes to give to girls who need cuter clothes. Bad memories. NO. But yeah, the original covers were better, cuter, and funnier overall.

  8. Christina says:

    I saw that about the Spanish law school. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?


    5. Hahaha.

    6. Fits the book perfectly! This guy’s head is put on another dude’s body. I’m loling everywhere.

    9 I do love the dress. Why didn’t I live in that era? *sighs*

    11. I hate when birds nest in my hair. Also, that title sounds like an NA book.

    13. I do not see it.

    14. Yeah, author name is almost unreadable.

    15. *snorts*

    16. If it weren’t for the lame tagline and the fact that there are too many covers like this, I would openly admit my love!

    23. This does not surprise me.

    25. They stand in the face of danger. Like deer.

    26. ME TOO.

    27. Who does ballet on shag?

    29. All the other cover model girls get to be on covers with sexy guys. SIGH.

    31. HAHAHAHA

    32. I hope so too.

    33. She doesn’t look like she’s thinking much to me. Just about what a special snowflake she is.

    5 and 6: Oh dear. I’m sorry for whatever happened to cause this. 🙁

  9. Kami says:

    I thought the exact same thing about the Manor of Secrets cover!!

  10. Bahahaha! These are some really good ones. I especially see the LOTR connection now with the M/M book….

  11. GillyB says:

    2. “Hugging a tornado is a bad life choice.” This dude clearly needs you as his life coach. What’s next? Cuddling with forest fires? Trying to make out with tsunamis??

    3. I would read the heck out of THAT biker book.

    4. Why are there so many cancerous dandelion covers???

    7. I actually prefer the UK covers, but… yeah. Wouldn’t you make this cover BLUE?

    8. Blahhhh.


    20. POC I WILL TAKE IT even if he does have a chest mustache

    21. She obviously needs your life coaching skills as well.

    24. I am VERY excited for this book but this cover makes me zzzzz.


    26. Prettifullll

    27. Also prettifullll

    32. LOVE THIS, but I hate when people’s “destinies” are to love. It means my destiny is to barf.

    CB 5: NO! Why did they change this?! ANGRY.

    WTF 2: She literally looks like something just ate her. That’s gross.

    WTF: OMG YES THEY ARE TOTALLY ALL GAY HOBBITS I always secretly wanted Sam and Frodo to run off together

    • Christina says:

      2. I would make such a great life coach. Step 1: Don’t hug tornados. Step 2: Don’t pop your collar. Step 3: Don’t be a douche. Patented plan for a good life.

      3. ME TOO.

      4. I DON’T KNOW. They are portents of doom, obviously.

      7. Tis a puzzlement.

      14. OH NO!

      20. A chestache if you will.

      21. I GOT THIS.

      24. Agreed. I always want to read the books with these covers, but omg boring.

      32. *dies*


      Sure does.


    • GillyB says:

      “DON’T POP YOUR DOLLAR.” My god, you should be in charge of all our youth.

    • Christina says:


  12. Chris says:

    #8 – I just wanted to say – I LOVE YOU for using a Refreshments line!!

  13. SH says:

    Here is my only statement – I wish all of you would stop attributing “indie” designers as less qualified. I have been in the business probably longer than most designers at a publishing house. It’s called FREELANCE. Do I want to work solely under an art director again? never. Do I freelance for all big 6? YES. Being indie is a choice, being freelance is a choice, stop it. Unless you know what you are talking about, just stop it.

    Do I care about cover snark? not really. Go ahead and say what you want, I laugh sometimes too. But I can’t stand seeing the “indie” thing anymore. Freelance designer, slave at a major pub, all the same to me. A designer is a designer. Period. I went to school just the same as the employees in the art departments at the major pubs.

    • GillyB says:

      Do I care about your opinion? Not really. Nobody was attacking anybody until you came in here and yelled at everybody. Nobody is saying “indie” or “freelance” designers are less talented or qualified. In fact, I think the word indie is usually attributed to the publishers, not the designers, and indie publishers have smaller budgets than big publishing houses. It’s a fact.

      Have a coffee or something.

    • Christina says:

      Once a designer spoke to me about that and explained their side, I really try to keep that to a minimum. I used the word “indie” once, more as a way to clarify which cover I was speaking to, and it was for an indie/self-pub book.

      It’s great that you don’t care. We’re all just trying to have a little fun and learn about more books, so please just go not care somewhere else. It’s not intended to be personal.

    • SH says:

      Not sure why any of you care who publishes a book. Read what you want. Why spend so much time being negative? Seems like that’s what all of you do. Please tell me your professions so I can tell you that you are bad at them. I always forget how young you all are though, so that’s something.

    • First of all, you don’t get to give anybody orders, so you STOP IT. Second of all, I’ve been blogging for three years and I’ve seen a lot of covers, and it’s pretty much a fact that self-published and indie covers are not of the same caliber as traditional pub. That doesn’t mean there aren’t some great designers out there, because there are, but a lot of indie covers suck. Pure and simple. If you don’t like what is said on this blog, you can just not read it. But you don’t get to tell people what to do. Go be a dick somewhere else.

    • No one is saying you are bad at your job. No one said that at all. It’s important who publishes a book because we like to know, period. Doesn’t mean we won’t read it if it’s indie. I edit indie books and I love them. If you’re going to be an ass, why don’t you share who you are? I mean, I’m using my full name. Let’s put it all out there since you like to troll blogs and start shit.

    • SH says:

      three whole years? wow. I’ve been at this 12. And actually you’re wrong. Most famous covers were done by freelancers hired by the pubs. Carry on with your bad self!

    • Steena says:

      Might I inquire as to what age has to do with any of this? Regardless of the fact that you have no means of knowing anyone’s age.

    • GillyB says:

      In 12 years of being a professional, I’m surprised you never learned how rude it is to go about attacking people you’ve never met. Also, age has absolutely nothing to do with this. We “youngins” (and, as said, you have NO IDEA how old I am or Christina is) were not the ones who decided to begin this shitstorm of negativity.

    • Doesn’t change the fact that over half of indie covers are shit-tastic. When that changes, my opinion will change. Until then, you do NOT get to tell people what to post on their own blogs.

      Also, like Gilly said. If you’re so adamant you are an adult and more mature, start acting like it. You’re not helping me see your side by being a douchebag.

    • SH says:

      Wait….aren’t you guys attacking people? Do you forget that some of these designs are peoples life’s work? This supports my family. And here, some weeks, I am attacked. My work is my life. Attacking my designs is the same as attacking me. So don’t be hypocritical. And I do know how old Christina is.

    • GillyB says:

      Let’s say it together: criticizing someone’s WORK–someone’s art, someone’s book, someone’s movie, someone’s fashion designs– is NOT THE SAME AS ATTACKING THEM. You are giving an objective opinion on something that is objective. Once you create it and unleash it onto the world, people are going to judge it on its own merits. It may hurt for the person who created it, but you’ve got understand that no one else on the planet has the emotional attachment to the work that you have.

    • Christina says:

      Believe it or not, which I imagine you won’t, but Cover Snark really isn’t a haven of negativity. Everyone doesn’t come read it so that they can get their rage on. People like to be able to come and have a laugh near the end of the work week. They add books to their to-read lists, and all of the commentary is exaggerated for comic effect. I snark on covers I personally think are beautiful. It’s FOR FUN and to get the word out about books. Some covers found on indie and self-pub books are terrible; ditto Big 6 covers. They all get the same treatment here. I can see where this would be upsetting for an author or a designer, but commenting like this only makes you look bad and gets me more pageviews, indirectly supporting my blog, which you obviously do not want to do. Thank you for your obvious interest in Cover Snark, and good day sir or ma’am.

    • Books are products and are allowed to be criticized. Not the same as a personal attack on a person. Sounds like someone needs a thicker skin. I don’t flip out over the negative reviews on the books I edit, and unless someone calls me fat or stupid, it’s not a personal attack on me.

      And once again, most designers and authors LOVE Cover Snark. I’m sorry you don’t have a sense of humor like most others have.

    • Steena says:

      “I always forget how young [you all] are though, so that’s something.” Seems to imply knowing the ages of all the Cover Snark commenters and that all the Cover Snark commenters are within the same age range. I am not entirely sure how you could know this. Also, knowing any of our ages does not answer the initial question of just what age has to do with this discussion. Presumably you are making a comment on maturity, though, as has already been pointed out, this entire discussion began with your initial comment of feeling insulted as an “indie/freelance/self-pub” designer.

      This is your life’s work and you have the right to feel proud of the effort you put into any cover you design. That does mean that everyone must share your love of it. Beauty being in the eye of the beholder means that our opinion of any cover is as valid as the creator’s. If it strikes someone that, as a general rule, self-published covers seem to lack the polish or skill of a more well-funded designer their observation is not necessarily wrong. You may disagree and that is all well and good. You can even object in comments to that opinion, though preferably in a polite manner. But their experience has suggested that many independently published covers are not to the standard of traditionally published covers. That is not an inflammatory opinion to have and I would bet that anyone with that opinion would also note that it is not true of ALL self-pub covers.

      As for our own breadwinning careers, I can only speak for myself that receiving criticism for one’s work is a natural part of having a job. Whether this come from a superior or a stranger, critical analysis of the work one does to make a living is bound to happen. I do suppose that you feel hypocritical when remarking on the style of a TV commercial or when providing warning to a friend regarding the less than quality product you just purchased. This is a review blog, criticism and praise will go hand in hand. Applying humor to that criticism is the choice of those making the comment. Being injured by that criticism is your choice.

    • SH says:

      I find it funny that all of you (well like 3 of you) are saying I attacked Cover snark. No, all I said in my original comment was I wish you would stop using the term indie the way it is used. That’s all. There were no personal attacks, nor did I call out Christina personally. So who needs a thicker skin? This isn’t upsetting me one bit, so it’s not me.

    • Tamara Beard says:

      I think everyone needs to get offline go for a run (or walk if you can’t run, I guess), and then come back and re-read your comments. When you do so, you will realize how childish this entire conversation is. Everyone else can come in and comment on how horrible this cover is, and how fat this model looks and everyone is all laughs and giggles, but when someone comes in and makes a comment about the terminology (not the people, not the covers, not the blog, JUST the terminology), all hell breaks loose. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, sure, but if you’re going to form an opinion, make sure you have all your facts straight. Some facts for you? You’re talking to a designer who has won awards for her work, who is known for her loving and charismatic behavior, and who creates covers that make people buy the books based on the cover alone. And here are some resources for everyone to look over= The definition of indie (as you did use the word wrong, based on its definition): And the definition of attack (look at number 2… that is what you’re doing, guys):

      Ok, I’m off for the day (Have Indie work to do!! <3), and I won't be back, so don't bother replying, I'll never see it, and you'll be wasting your finger strength

      Cheerio, Dolls!

    • Christina says:

      Further comments in this vein will be marked as spam. Fair warning.

      I really don’t need such negativity in my life. Thanks for stopping by, and please don’t let the virtual door hit you on the way out.

  14. Steena says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. Steena says:

    29. Darkest Day: I hear that tagline voiced by the caged bird from Wonderfalls – “Let him GO!”

    34. Vengeance Borne: Fart gun?

    WTF1: Yes, I will be reading this. Because there are moose and one of them is in a noose.

  16. Amy says:

    I am too distracted to actually comment on the covers like normal, but man there are some odd ones this week.

  17. 1. It really bothers me that it’s broken in such away that it doesn’t look like it goes together. Like even with all the little splinters properly attached I don’t think it would go back together. Yes, I am weird.

    3. That guy looks like an arrogant ass and I want to throw a real curveball in his direction.

    7. I saw the other one so I’m guessing this is the UK cover, which makes me think of the terribleness of UtNS UK cover. This is probably the best of the 3 UK covers, even if it’s not blue.

    11. Many great things came out of the 80’s – hairstyles were not one of them.

    13. This would be so much better without the guy on it.

    14. And this one would be a million times better without the feet on it.

    CB5&6. Old covers look like something I would want to read. New covers do not.

    WTF 1. Everything about this covers screams “STAY AWAY” which is a shame because the synopsis sounds mildly interesting.

    • Christina says:

      1. That is obnoxious! Those splinters really don’t seem like enough to make it fit!

      3. HAHAHAHA, you show him!

      7. Yup, UK.

      11. Nor remotely.

      13. So much better.

      14. Hahaha.

      5/6. AGREED.

      1. I’m not sure how I feel about it honestly.

  18. thebookwurrm says:

    The Whipple cover is actually nice and dude, you just bought my attention to the Cruel Beauty tagline and now I want to remove it from my to-read list because of it. I can’t stand sappy romance. Can’t! Argh. You have me snorting on my chai a couple of times here. Love these posts.

    • Christina says:

      Yeah, I tend to like Balzer + Bray, but if it had been any other Harper imprint, I probably would have taken it off my to-read and waited for reviews just because of that tagline.

  19. fakesteph says:

    I know we’re being snarky, but all I can think is: JOHN COREY WHALEY HAS A NEW BOOK COMING OUT?????

    Also–You are SO RIGHT about the Pretty Crooked covers. I LOVED them (although I didn’t read them :/).

  20. Kayla Beck says:

    2. But he gets to join Divergent when he hugs it, Christina!

    3. *whispers* I think he knows that already.

    5. It’s accidental because she forgot that she was carrying a rifle in her panties, and umm… Yeah. You see the bed.

    7. Is the the UK cover?

    9. I hate these covers if it’s still the same series as Gilt. If not, I’ll allow it. They do have the British teeth down. And the dress is pretty.

    11. Am I the only person who hates this cover? There is just something about it that turns me off majorly.

    14. That just made my tummy shudder. I really can’t even look at book covers with heights my acrophobia is so bad.

    16. I feel like her covers are all doing the same thing.

    26. Another I will buy on cover alone, just like its predecessor. (Which I have not read yet, or have plans to.)

    32. I fucking love this. It’s creative.

    CB1. Thank god the teeth are gone. That girl bothered me for some reason. :-/

    CB3. Wow, now it actually looks like something that came from a major publisher.

  21. Pabkins says:

    OH crap on toast – still no stellar pick of the week? What is happening in the cover reveal world! I think I’m going to go cry now.

  22. I didn’t break it down by book this time but I just wanted to say how much fun I always find this post. It’s meant to be light-hearted, funny, and to entertain, which it succeeds at. 🙂

  23. I am finally taking your advice re: how to comment on your CS posts. (Also, Giselle did another fab job with your banner.)

    1: Yes. That key looks so fake, and I understand that for fantasy, they probably couldn’t take a picture and incorporate. Also, I’m surprised you didn’t comment on the tagline. Do you like that one? I thought you generally weren’t a fan of them.

    2: Can this be the tagline: Hugging a tornado is a bad life choice.

    3, 4, 5: lol. Also, on 5, did you notice that one of her earrings is larger than the other?? Through the leg and up to the ear…

    6: Way more awesome than the Pretty Liars cover. At least, it looks like it’s making of them too.

    9: YES!!! Maybe it’ll be revealed that she’s Mary’s daughter…

    11: I loved most of the Wither covers, but I don’t understand this one. I like the fonts, but I don’t like the overall effect. Keys and mosquitoes and books dangling from gear trees?

    12: This sort of reminds me of the Chaos of Stars cover, which is interesting since Natalie Whipple and Kiersten White are critique partners in the same publishing house. I love the color, even if I don’t quite understand the effect that text covers are going for.

    13: Not just what the eff in the cover, but the font too. I get that it’s trying to go for the sci-fi feel but… so random with the steel-tipped-claw-wire-crystal-shine-spider-web.

    15: Because you’re about to steal her stiff-collared Romeo of the shadows, Christina. That will not do. Offer her the chocolate, instead.

    16: oooooh, I love the font and pink hair and texture. Adding this one to my shelf.

    17: So funny that you said that about Magic Eight Balls because a friend of mine is getting her book published by Greenwillow in 2014 under the title Ask Again Later and it actually involves magic eight balls!

    18: I’m going to have nightmares about that mechanical octopus.

    19: Yay for guest snark! (But so right, and damn sci-fi fonts!!!) ALSO WHUT. Did the first book already coming out?!? I thought I saw that cover get revealed just the other day!

    24: Agreed. This reminds me of what they tried for Prophecy. And the red looks a tad corny with the textured feel of the rest…

    26: Adding to shelf! And I actually like the font there. It looks a bit unstable, like the “madness” part personified.

    29: Dude looks bored, and she’s smoking hot. Agreed.

    31: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT. Also, interesting that they didn’t put the “New York Times bestselling author” part – maybe a mock cover for now?

    32: …… tagline.

    1: Take 2 for sure! Tagline + the girl’s face.
    2: Neither… Both fonts are cool though.
    3: Neither… And definite lol to the guitar. I didn’t even realize what that was until I’d read what you said.
    4: Self-pub definitely. I like the font overlay with the colors, and the look on his face is more intriguing than the muscle that looks like it’s going to pop out of his back…
    5: I was reminded of a mix of Ally Carter and Jennifer E. Smith with the black and white and red treatment (though they redesigned her cover too -_-)
    7: Really? I liked the red nail polish. I don’t like the tagline either though…

    lol @ all the WTFs of the week.


    • Christina says:

      1. I did see the tagline, but I have no thoughts on it. It’s boring. :/

      2. Now THAT’S a good tagline.

      5. Weird! I wonder if it’s behind her shoulder or if it really IS a different length!

      6. Oh, I’m sure.

      9. I couldn’t remember what gender the various kids were, so I went with hidden sister. Haha.

      11. Yeah, I really don’t know what’s going on there.

      12. I think text covers are just going for pretty, and I do see the Chaos of Stars connection. Also, I may not want to read this if they’re crit partners, since White’s writing really doesn’t impress me.

      13. this whole thing is a puzzlement.

      15. Soothe the scary soul with chocolate!

      17. Oh wow! I wonder if they’ll change the title because of this book?

      19. First book is out in early July.

      24. The orange and green color combo was an odd choice.

      26. I like the font too, but I imagine people have trouble reading it.

      31. Sometimes they leave that off, which is all for the best imo.

      32. I KNOW.

      7. Why is she EATING the red nail polish?

  24. ^– Oh, frack. I just saw the other comments. I’m sorry that happened, Christina.

  25. Kate Bond says:

    Jeeze Louise. Talk about a buzz kill in the comments section.

    May I just say that romance novel covers are my favorite thing in the world and then tiptoe away lest the trolls leap atop my back?

    • Christina says:

      Of course you may say that! Both cover love and cover snark are welcome here! Covers are subjective, and I know that the naked dude covers that make me laugh are gorgeous to other people. 🙂

  26. Reem Ibrahim says:

    This was hilarious! I love the Karina Halle one. My fav. comment of yours is the Mania cover. The tagline does say it all! 😀

  27. Shelver506 says:

    Ooh hey, new button!

    1. It doesn’t matter what the cover looks like. *squeezes Sage*

    2. What?! I’ve never read Hitchhiker’s, but that sounds like the saddest thing ever.

    6. Does no one else hear Finding Nemo in their heads?! “Noggin! Duuuude.”

    7. Why’d you pick the UK cover?

    9. I’m taken with her dress. Pretty.

    11. I actually like the ARC cover I saw at BEA a little better. Same motif, but less busy. And no girl!

    12. This is the kind of cover that would look cool in a roundup to typographical covers but does nothing for me individually.

    13. I think something Star Trek-y is crashing?

    14. I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.

    16. Her wings a-sploded!

    17. HAHAHA! I defy anyone to top your comment on this one.

    22. What’s with that thing around her neck? It looks uncomfortable.

    25. What would be the point of dying to keep your power? If you die, you lose it anyways.

    26. Cinderella retelling WUT? *grabby hands*

    27. MEEP! I’ve been waiting for this book! And that’s grass, Christina. 😉

    29. If you glance, she kind of looks like T-Swift.

    31. I’m digging the knife.


    CB5. That settles it. If I like these books, I’m totally sticking with the HC. The PBs are lame.

    WTF1. I am… oddly intrigued by the dead moose.

  28. Kat Balcombe says:

    3. Bahahahaha!

    7. Despite the featured persons, I still love the covers of this series so much.

    9. Is the secret hiding in her cleavage?!

    10. Mmmmmmmmm brains.

    15. She is either very evil or very very skeered.

    16. Oh, way too many feathers *coughs*

    22. I bet that ponytail would sting if she whipped you with it….

    32. Completely agree – just the rose staircase would have had me at hello.

    WTF 1. I actually really like that cover – I mean, it’s definitely unique, but I see your point, it’s not really screaming YA.

    WTF2. !! maybe shes a zombie?!

  29. Jessirae says:

    I looooooove Cover Snark, especially this week. I was practically rolling in laughter while reading this post. CS makes my week all the freaking time.

    HATERS, please eat some cookies because you sure need some happy in your life.

  30. Lyn Kaye says:

    Holy crap, that Avalon cover is wicked….I love these.

  31. 7. I really really hate the UK covers for this series.
    12. This hurts my eyes 🙁
    13. I’ve been trying to figure this out all day. Pretty sure I see teeth in there.
    16. OMG yesss, the pink hair is awesome.
    18. I’m pretty sure there’s hentai in every CS post nowadays XD
    25. Dying.

    4. Ermehgerd, a naked back. One of my weaknesses.
    5-6. WHYYYYYYYYYYY must they do this.

    1. Well. I don’t like that title. Seems rather possessive. Although I am here for the murder.

    Anywho, I loooooooooove the new banner! So pretty. And the laughing face is how I’m going to imagine you from now on. But with a wig 😀

  32. OMG, last few made me laugh so hard, especially Manic! :))
    Also I WANT that dress from Lili St. Crow’s cover BADLY. It’s absolutely glorious. So far I’ve heard that she did Snow White a part of a mafia family, and now Cinderella is swinging in the 20’s?! Hell yeah.
    The Accidental Assassin actually sounds funny. I’ll need to look into it.
    Also, thanks again for a coupe of reds, who started my new batch of redheaded covers. There are always one or two I find here…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge