Cover Snark (55): In Which I Invent a NA Drinking Game

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Just a warning: voting on a cover battle will take you to another page, so, if you do that and have a comment started, it will be lost. I looked around for a better free poll, but couldn’t find anything. Maybe if I ever switch to WordPress there will be a better option.

Shiny and New:

1. The Edge of Darkness – Melissa Andrea

Thoughts: I may be a straight woman, but I can currently think and see only one thing: BOOBS.

2. Crystal Fire (Hunted #2) – Jordan Dane

Thoughts: This looks like a novella cover.

3. Good Vibrations – S.L. Scott

Thoughts: Good good good good vibrations. She’s giving me excitations.

4. Cherry Money Baby – John M. Cusick

Thoughts: Cherry money sounds like prostitution. The trailer park may not be the best place to hawk those wares.

5. Love Lessons – Heidi Cullinan

Thoughts: Awwww, is this a new adult without kissing on the cover? Winning. Also, I love the drawings. Hipster dude trumps kissy faces.

6. Razor’s Edge (Empire and Rebellion #1) – Martha Wells

Thoughts: How badass does Leia look on this cover? Love it. Though I do think it would be better without Han and Luke’s faces floating the background.

7. Unhinged (Splintered #2) – A.G. Howard

Thoughts: *snorts* This is what happens when you cross Magnus Bane with David Bowie, Goblin king.

8. Up from the Grave (Night Huntress #7) – Jeaniene Frost

Thoughts: That corset looks painful. Hot, though. Breathing’s overrated when you’re a vampire anyway, right? (I’m assuming she’s a vampire.)

9. The Cutting Room Floor – Dawn Klehr

Thoughts: This is super creepy, especially the hands and their finger nails. The tagline is awesome.

10. Endure (The Protector #4) – M.R. Merrick

Thoughts: A tree in a storm. Thrilling.

11. Shadowlark (Skylark #2) – Meagan Spooner

Thoughts: I do like this one better than Skylark‘s, because there’s more setting to it. However, I’m not sure what the bit the series is written on is or why it’s there. Also that wheel up top. Just feels a bit random and slapped together.

12. Catching Liam (Good Girls Don’t #1) – Sophia Bleu

Thoughts: Oh, new adult, you’re so reliable. Let’s start a weekly drinking game. For every kissy face cover, take a shot! Or just pretend if you’re under age/don’t drink blah blah blah.

13. The Monsters in Your Neighborhood (Monstrosity #2) – Jesse Petersen

Thoughts: Tee hee, I love the octopus face guy in the robe. That is just so cute.

14. The Lost – Sarah Beth Durst

Thoughts: Pretty colors, but I still dislike this trend of splitting up four word titles onto two lines. It’s not like it’s that long, guys.

15. Third Strike (The Slayer Chronicles #3) – Heather Brewer

Thoughts: I like how the smiley face looks like it’s about to chomp his hand, stake and all. OM NOM NOM FINGER SANDWICH.

16. Briar Rose – Jana Oliver

Thoughts: Hot pink does not look awesome on that background. Not one bit. Also, that’s a ridiculous place to take a nap if you’re not in distress, which she obviously isn’t because HELLO lip stick.

17. Unbreak Me – Lexi Ryan

Thoughts: Shots, shots, shots.

18. Runaway Groom – Sally Clements

Thoughts: I want to believe that she’s preparing to kick him for having run away. Vengeance is a pointed toe.

19. The Mourning After – Adriane Leigh

Thoughts: Word play for the win. Weird how that footptint is just toes Is she walking on her tip toes? That doesn’t seem like mourning behavior to me.

Cover Battles:

1. Endless (The Violet Eden Chapters #4) – Jessica Shirvington

UK vs. German vs. US: Interesting that the German cover has a dude on it. I’m not in love with any of these, because I think the UK ones are boring, I don’t like angel wings covers, and I think the US version doesn’t look like YA. My Pick: US, because I do think it looks prettiest.

Which Endless cover do you prefer? free polls 

2. Inferno (Chronicles of Nick #4) – Sherrilyn Kenyon

Hardback vs. Paperback: These are similar. Why even redesign? My Pick: Hardback for not having a seriously lame tagline.

Which Inferno cover do you prefer? free polls 

3. The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth #1) – Carrie Ryan

Hardback vs. Paperback vs. Another Redesign: I like all but the hardback cover, which seriously freaks me out. All of them fir the book pretty well, which is awesome. My Pick: Paperback, for no real reason.

Which The Forest of Hands and Teeth cover do you prefer? free polls 

4. Happy Hour at Casa Dracula (Casa Dracula #1) – Marta Acosta

Version 1 vs. Version 2 vs. Version 3: These are all really different. I don’t think I’d be too much in a hurry to pick up any of these. Don’t ask me why the cover reveal for the new one was the audio, because I don’t fucking know. My Pick: The first one, I guess. I like their flair.

Which Happy Hour at Casa Dracula cover do you prefer? free polls 

5. Midnight Brunch at Casa Dracula (Casa Dracula #2) – Marta Acosta

Version 1 vs. Version 2 vs. Version 3: In this case, again, none of them holds a ton of appeal for me, but anything but that first one. My Picks: New one? Maybe.

Which Midnight Brunch at Casa Dracula cover do you prefer? free polls 

WTF of the Week: 

1. Until I Break – M. Leighton

Thoughts: A magician raping a drugged girl on a toilet. You can see this too, right?

2. Untouched (Cedar Cove #0.5) – Melody Grace

Thoughts: Ironically, the problem with this is cover is that it has been touched far too much in Photoshop. Look at her hair! And her face! Makes it look like dolls fooling around in the ocean. Also, who goes into the ocean in jeans? Whatever, time for another kissy face shot!

3. Follow the White Rabbit (Beautiful Madness #1) – Kellie Sheridan

Thoughts: Whatever drugs she is on apparently made her go for KISS style makeup and put her hair into rabbit ears. I do not want to follow this “white rabbit.”

4. Love Square – Jessica Ingro

Thoughts: Tonight on Lifetime. (I may have laughed for like five minutes when I saw this.)

Outstanding Cover of the Week:

Love Lessons by Heidi Cullinan

Learn More or Preorder:

Goodreads|Heidi’s Website

32 responses to “Cover Snark (55): In Which I Invent a NA Drinking Game”

  1. 3. I don’t think I’d be able to take a book called “Good Vibrations” seriously. Who thought of that title?

    5. Oooh, I like this one. I’m tempted to read it purely because there’s no kissing or hand holding or naked people.

    6. Leia was looking SO badass that I didn’t even notice the floating faces. Now I can’t stop staring. *strokes Han’s face*

    7. Is that meant to be that stupid Morpheus guy? AND WHY WOULD YOU PUT A SPIDER ON THE COVER OH MY GOD HELP.

    12. I like this drinking game, although I’ll have to remember to read your posts in the evenings rather at 12pm.

    14. It is a really weird trend. What is the point.

    16. “Also, that’s a ridiculous place to take a nap if you’re not in distress” HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    19. Maybe she’s actually a monster and has weird monster feet? That cover is making me want to go to the beach, though. Why is England so horrible 🙁

    CB3. Is this an attempt at making the series seem more adult? I looooove the new redesign, but I don’t get why they keep changing the covers. Actually, I get why they changed the HB cover because I agree, it’s horrible and freaky.

    WTF1. Cannot. Unsee. “A Twisted Novel” YOU DON’T SAY.

    WTF3. I wonder how you do that with your hair. Tempted to try it!

    Thank you for cheering me up this afternoon. I was in a really bad mood before this post XD

    • Christina says:

      3. I don’t know. It must be referencing the song, right? But, yeah, I can’t take anything that reminds me of a Beach Boys song seriously. And I even like the Beach Boys well enough.

      5. Yeah, I’ll watch for reviews, but I might have to read this. In a theoretical world where I can obtain a copy that is.

      6. Hahaha, win.

      7. I can’t actually find the oh god there it is. On his face. Dude, there’s a fucking spider on your face. Your death is imminent.

      12. True. That is a caveat.

      14. I don’t know, but it should stop.

      16. Am I right or am I right?

      19. We should trade places like in The Holiday. I will go to England and party with your sexy brother (which you surely have, only he’s unmarried with no kids and of appropriate age) and you can come to the US and drive to visit Kara at the beach.

      CB3. I would guess that, yes.

      1. BWAHAHA

      3. If you do it, I expect pictures.

      Sorry you were in a bad mood and happy I could help.

    • Oh my GOD, I didn’t even see the one on his face! I meant the giant spider on the rim of his hat. *cries* Now it’s even worse.

      I have three brothers, but they’re a bit young right now. Give it a few years and then hopefully I can pawn one off to you! Wait, do you have any sexy brothers? We could do The Holiday but in reverse. I like this plan.

      I am SO doing the rabbit ears at some point!

    • Christina says:

      Sorry, dear. I’m an only child. Nor do I have any super hot guy friends. If I had one that looked like Jude Law I would keep him for me.


  2. ha BOOBS!

    I swear that cover for the Merrick one is the exact cover of like the first or second book in that series. I am going to have to look into that because they look way too much alike in my mind.

  3. Gilly says:

    I clicked over to see the description of Good Vibrations because well – I just did. And I don’t – I can’t – what is it even about other than sex?

    LOVE SQUARE! I cannot stop laughing. No I can’t. I can’t! I am certain I will spend this entire day randomly think of that and laughing.

    I actually liked Splintered a whole lot – am looking forward to Unhinged. But . . . that cover does not come close to the gorgeous Splintered cover. Morpheus is so much more – effeminate? I don’t know. Something. Weird.

    And boobs – yes. Definitely. First thing I thought was – oh, god. Is there going to be slippage? Hope she’s got on some of that double sided clothing tape.

    • Christina says:

      Do new adult books have to be about anything besides sex?

      Right? I’m not even sure if I think it’s terrible, but it IS hilarious and WTF-y. It may be a win, but I don’t think they mean it ironically, so who the duck knows.

      Bleh, I did not like Splintered. Well, it was alright, but thinking back on it I can’t. Morpheus looks like a manga character, and not one of the hot ones.

      They’re also remarkably in place.

  4. meg says:

    1. Holy barely restrained cleavage Batman!

    3. I almost spit out my coffee when I read the title. Summer beach… porno?

    5. I love it but are you sure this is a YA book? Where are the super blown up faces? The ballgowns? The abstract and moody Photoshop collages?

    7. I like the title typography but dude seems like a creeper.

    15. Bobby the Vampire Slayer maybe? Buffy was better at that pose.

    As always, this post makes my morning.

    • Christina says:

      3. Someone who read the description said it sounded like it was all about sex, so yes.

      5. This one’s new adult. The MC is in college.

      7. He IS a creeper, so that’s accurate.


  5. Amy says:

    I will be quick today!! I swear it!! Start time 9:35am

    1. She looks like she’s going to have a nip slip any second!

    5. I love the expression on his face.

    7. Super excited for Unhinged, but not really diggin’ the cover.

    9. I kind of like that cover. The tagline has me totally wanting to read it too.

    12. Are you trying to get us all totally wasted with your drinking game? I think by the end of this we will all be sloshed!

    13. That is a very entertaining cover. I love it!

    17. Bottoms up!!

    Cover Battles

    1. I like the US one the best too.

    3. I like them all, but I think the paperback is my favorite.

    WTF of the week

    1. I thought maybe they were in a hot tub or something, but toilet… I can totally see that.

    2. Woohoo shots!!!

    3. WTF indeed!

    Outstanding Cover of the Week

    Yes, that cover is pretty awesome!!

    End time 9:47 am I think that’s record time for me!!! Yay!!

    • Christina says:

      5. Hipster superiority you mean?

      7. Nope. Such a disappointment after the gorgeousness that was Splintered.

      9. So creepy!

      12. Well, not today, but some weeks for sure.

      WTF1. That would make more sense to me, but it sure looks like a porcelain toilet seat.

      You’re a speed demon! *refrains from pointing out this was the shortest Cover Snark ever*

    • Amy says:

      Haha!! Awww and here I thought I made super good time. I will pretend it wasn’t a short cover snark. 😉

  6. Megan K. says:

    1. O_O

    2. Read the first book and gave up on it. Yeah, I agree, this does look like a novella cover! Not good.

    3. BA. HA. HA. HA. Does the author seriously hope to attract readers with a title like that?

    6. Leia! Badass and kickass as always.

    9. I really like this cover, too! I actually stumbled across the book a couple of days ago, and it sounds really intriguing.

    13. This cover’s ADORBS. Makes me want to get it already!


    3. Eh, I think my favorite cover for this bok is the one with the red seashell/leaf and black background. Not so fond of girls on covers anymore. :/


    2. Her face is creepy. O_O

    3. *snort*

    4. I actually think the cover’s pretty okay. Not the best, but not terrible either. It’s just the title and the tagline. Nooooooo. Love triangles were bad enough!

  7. KM says:

    1. It’s difficult not to think that when they’re sticking out like that. LOL! You’re like, “Oh. Hi. Awkward.”
    2. #boring
    3. Meh. Agreed: very Beach Boys-ish.
    4. But I do like the font treatment. Then again, I sorta like it when fonts take over the cover and they’re like, “READ ME DANGIT!”
    5. Anything trumps kissy face NA.
    6. Meh. And is this the same Martha Wells who wrote “Emilie and the Hollow World”?!
    7. Good comparison. This cover is terrible, and I was super disappointed with it. I mean, I didn’t love the first book’s cover, but it was okay. This one is…not.
    8. This just looks like every other urban fantasy cover EVER.
    9. Yes, very, very creepy…
    10. Self-pub? lol
    11. It all feels a bit boring to me.
    12. SHOT!
    13. I like this a lot, except for the weird gray square in the bottom right for the writing.
    14. No, no, I like this one! BIG FONTTTTTT
    15. I’ve always thought her covers are cool for these two series. They’re very boy friendly, but not plain. I approve!
    16. Poor Jana Oliver just can’t catch a break with her covers, can she?
    17. SHOT!
    18. Why is the font treatment look like it’s moving? Because it’s in the process of running away? Weird.
    19. “That doesn’t seem like mourning behavior to me.” LOL!

    Umm…the most wrong with that UNTOUCHED cover is the fact that he’s swimming in jeans. Who does that?!

    OMG that tagline. OMG I DIE. “A love triangle gone bad…LOVE SQUARE.” *snorts*

  8. GillyB says:

    3. Obviously, the first thing I thought of was the song, but Good Vibrations is a terrifically dirty title.

    4. Cherry Money Baby really does sound like it’s about a prostitute.

    5. CHECK OUT HIS SWAG. I love this nerdy kid with the cocked hip and the fauxhawk! I’ll take that over mutual tonsil inspection any day.

    10. That is identical to so many covers out here, from tree to color palette to one word title, that I will not remember it in ten seconds.

    12. *downs tequila*

    13. ADORABLE.

    17. *downs tequila*


    2. *downs tequila* *downs more tequila to dull the stupidity of swimming in denim*

    3. That title font. I can’t.

    4. BAHAHAHAHAHA! “A tirangle gone slanted… LOVE RHOMBUS. A triangle gone extra bad… LOVE PENTAGON. A triangle gone fucking orgy crazy I don’t even know… LOVE DODECAHEDRON.”

    I may have downed one too many shots.

  9. Kat Balcombe says:

    1. Hollywood tape, anyone?

    2. My eyes! Too many bright colours.

    7. Only the second time I’ve seen this cover, but still freaked out. And I love purple, but that’s waaaay too much. Oh! And he has a Silence of the Lambs moth, eeeep!

    9. Creepy man hands indeed!

    14. Yeah, it would look a lot better as one word. You could still *gasp* even make LOST bigger than THE if you wanted that same kinda impact.

    CB3. I really don’t like the redesign, the spatter is just too symmetrical.

    WTF1: I see the edge of a bathtub, but it’s close.

    2. I went in the ocean in jeans unintentionally (i.e. yes I fell over!) and it was the most uncomfortable thing in the history of ever. No one would EVER do that willingly. Unless it’s a BDSM novel…

    3. I do believe I was asked the participate in the cover reveal for this and I declined. Narrow escape there.

    4. And do love triangles ever go well? Maybe I missed that bit!


  10. Brandy says:

    3. Worst. Title. Ever.

    6. Go Leia! The floating faces in the back are strange. Esp Luke who looks a combination of terrified and disapproving.

    7. Ugh. That’s….I have no words. Yours work better.

    9. Perfect hand model there. Those are all they need to add all the creepy.

    13. Love cover and title.

    14. Sarah Beth Durst is just cranking them out now isn’t she? I do like this cover but agree about the breaking up of the four letter word.

    16. The pink is bad but the thorns aren’t working for me either.

    WTF 4: Bwhahahaha

  11. Steena says:

    10. Endure: This book was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer Films.

  12. Jessirae says:

    1. More like the edges of her boobs. Might as well put her topless.

    3. I do like the colors for this book but I hate the title. Though I still want to read it. LOL.

    5. Very cute. Does he look like that one guy from Fall Out Boy?

    7. Creepy as fuck. *looks away*

    10. *snore* Looks the same as the other books in the series.

    12. Not a fan of the cover, but I want to read it. Hah, I have a NA problem. I’d probably be drunk as hell by now.

    18. My boyfriend saw this and said: I could fucking create this cover on my own. What’s with the blurry bullshit? — I have no idea.

    WTF of the Week

    1. *sigh* I love Leighton’s books. I had the unfortunate opportunity of revealing this cover on my blog and I just hate hate hate it. It looks so weird. The guy’s shoulder wasn’t a shoulder to me when I first glanced at that monstrosity. And the girl looks like she was murdered and he wants to be sure she truly is in fact dead.

    3&4. I nearly busted out laughing in class at these two and even more at your commentary. Made my damn day 😉 Someone shoot me at the stupidity of the title to 4 and the worse tagline everrrr.

  13. 12. I read another book with this same cover called Unbreakable Love. I didn’t like it so it’s a total turn off to see it again.
    17. I’ve always loved kissing on covers, and this one is really pretty, but there are just way too many that look the same.

  14. Giselle says:

    1. definitely boobielicious, but I love the fonts used and it’s so eye catching! I love bright covers like that with a rich accent color.

    3. OMG BEACH BOYS!!! Which reminds me of Full House! Bahaha.

    4. John Cusick? IMPOSTOR!

    5. Omg I love how it’s not two people kissing! That shit is getting OLD! Also, that nerd look is hot!

    7. Bahaha. It’s so cartoony wtf?

    10. Isn’t that the exact same cover as the first one?

    11. Cover is ok–I really enjoyed the first book though d’you read it?

    13: The Octopus! BAhahaahah

    14. Looks exactly like the Hunt’s new covers. I thought it was from that series when I first saw it.

    16. She’s trying to seduce Edward Cullen. That’s his woods. Duh.

    19. Toes… and they’re GIANT!

    BTW on polls–i used for a poll once it was super easy dunno if it would fix the prob with refreshing but I know you could see the result without having to go on another page.

    “Paperback, for no real reason” bahaha. I actually totally love the random new redesign!

    WTF1: OMG A TOILET!!! Why is he a magician? lol His beard? I’ll roll with it.

    WTF2: Ok I hadn’t noticed her face before but it does not look natural! Also, zoom in and look at his jeans! They’re totally cartoony looking! Like they were drawn on (like look at the creases!!)! OMG It’s so weird I can’t stop staring!!

    WTF4:. OH. MY. GOD! OH! MY! GOD! *dies*

    Also, I like how Amy times herself! hahaha. I will do that next time! Awesome!

  15. 2. It does look like a novella, but I do like those colours, and the energy of it.

    5. Lame title. Love the self-confidence of Hipster-Guy’s pose.

    7. Hmm. I like that it goes so well with Splintered’s cover (love that cover) – I think they’ll look really good together – but… yeah… there’s something not quite right about his face. It’s slightly unreal. I was SO excited for Splintered, and then it was just *shakes fist at book* But I’ll almost certainly be reading Unhinged even so. Damn my curiosity. And yes, that is the PERFECT description of Morpheus.

    CB1. That is so strange having a guy on the German cover. But I don’t care either way, because I loathe those books. Violet Eden is one of my least favourite people in time and space.

    CB2. If I just glanced at them without reading the title, I’d think they were book 1 and 2 of a series.

  16. MJ says:

    5. God, the way that guy’s posed you can totally tell he thinks he’s a Smart McSmarty Pants.

    7. I thought he looked like Willy Wonka’s love child with Magnus Bane so we’re almost on the same page.

    17. Looks like Wait for You be Jennifer L Armentrout. On a side note, have you noticed that lots of these NA books are named after fairly depressing songs?

    GB1: I voted for the German cover mainly because I need something to look at while reading an otherwise horrible book.

    WTF3: Looks like a member of the Royal Flush gang (DC comics)

    As usual thanks for this.

    Great post as always. And as usual it made me smile.

  17. 1. She totally needs to pull that dress up.

    4. I like that cover, I’d read it.

    5. Oh my goshhhhh I LOVE THAT COVER. I would buy that book.

    11. I feel like the bottom bit doesn’t really fit with the rest of the cover.

  18. Kayla Beck says:

    7. Oh god. I think I just pissed myself. I will not be buying this one based on pretty alone like Splintered. There is no David Bowie here. It’s all Adam Lambert.

    11. All I want to know is if I can buy the damn book yet.

    16. I just read the synopsis and it’s so sweet! Dependent girl does as told and needs boy to rescue her. I’m so glad there aren’t enough of these.

    WTF1. I hate covers with dudes and their catatonic love interests. Put those jerks in jail!

    WTF4. Also known as an ORGY. *sigh*

  19. thebookwurrm says:

    Lost has pretty colours but forget the cover, Sarah Beth Durst’s novels have been gold for me so far. And the synopsis sounds amazing. But the WTFery covers crack me up. And Splintered sequel’s covers made me shiver in horror. Awesome post is awesome.

  20. Oh. My. Gosh. Yes! I am going to take a bottle of Jack with me to work (B&N) and go up and the aisle taking shots for kissy face covers. Lol. Greatest idea ever.

  21. Shelver506 says:

    1. Oh goodness, I didn’t even notice. I was all “Hummingbird shadows!… Why?”

    4. Not a fan of the cover at all, but the synopsis sounds kinda good. It’ll be at BEA!

    5. Heeeeey, NA win!

    6. Yeah, the two faces kinda make it look like a love triangle. Of course, if this is positioned as a novel before Episode VI…

    7. I must admit, I expected Morpheus to look sexier, less drugged.

    9. WHY DID YOU POINT OUT THE FINGERNAILS?! I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. Ewww.

    10. Fire or flood. Those are my choices? No, wait, third choice. U-turn!

    13. “Octopus guy”? Oh, you have so much to learn, young grasshopper.

    14. Oooh! I didn’t know she had another book coming out. Awesome. I loved her last one (VESSEL).

    19. Maybe she’s running? Running from her past/grief? Oooh.

    WTF1. Is he trying to break her by bending her over backward? Is she a contortionist? Is HE a contortionist?

  22. Pabkins says:

    Oh sad I was definitely not impressed with any of these. (going back through all your cover snarks slowly haha) it’s like a treat…50 to go I think hhaha

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge