Cover Snark (39): Why Are Wolves Such Voyeurs?

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

I skipped a week for the holidays, so I have two weeks of covers to snark, though it’s still been pretty slow and I’ve been a trifle more particular, so the selection shouldn’t be much more overwhelming than usual. Posting will be back to the usual next week.

Commenting pro tip: The easiest way to comment on such a long post is to open the post in two windows (really easy if you use Google Reader). Comment in one and scroll the covers in the other. That’s actually how I comment on other people’s reviews too. I can’t remember all my comments by the time I get to the box!

1. Indelible (The Twixt #1) – Dawn Metcalf
Thoughts: The Twixt? Whatver. That rose is gorgeous, though I find the cover as a whole a bit boring.
2. Hunted (The Iron Druid Chronicles #6) – Kevin Hearne

Thoughts: Atticus’ little soul patch makes me laught every single time. Also hilarious? The dude with antlers in the background. Fear the deadly Deer Man!

3. Sworn to Raise (Courtlight #1) – Terah Edun

Thoughts: Who, me? Little ol’ me has never played poker in my life before. BUT I WILL RAISE YOU WITH MY PAIR OF TWOS!

4. Midnight Frost (Mythos Academy #5) – Jennifer Estep

Thoughts: She seems out of proportion. Mostly, though, I just hate the violet eyes. A big eyeroll for another purple-eyed speshul snowflake.

5. Tempting the Jaguar – Katie Reus

Thoughts: LOL. I do not want to know what the jaguar in the title is referring to. Not one bit.

6. Date Me/Love Me/Hate Me (The Kaetyn Chronicles #3, 4, 5) – Jillian Dodd

Thoughts: My goodness but I hate these covers. These may be among my most-hated covers. Her face just bothers me. Hate Me‘s the best cover in the series because the black and white profile shot works so much better.

7. Island of Fire (The Unwanteds #3) – Lisa McMann

Thoughts: Meh. I usually like middle grade covers more than this, but this one’s not working for me. I think there’s too much beige or something.

8. Heavy Metal (Goddesses Rising #2) – Natalie J. Damschroder

Thoughts: Even with massive biceps and months on steroids, STILL CAN’T LIFT CHAINS.

9. Tristis Manor – J.R. Wagner

Thoughts: This is from an indie publisher and I think it’s completely gorgeous! Very Northanger Abbey or Mansfield Park.

10. Velvet – Em Garner

Thoughts: Love the brightness of the cover, but, tbh, I can’t stop laughing about GIRL IN A BOTTLE.

11. The Shade of the Moon (The Last Survivors #4) – Susan Beth Pfeffer

Thoughts: Much as I was not impressed with the first book, these covers are pretty, and this just may be the best of the lot. I love the colors!

12. Binding (Wolf Moon Saga #2) – Carol Wolf

Thoughts: There is too much happening here, I think. Rather convenient that the author’s last name matches her series title.

13. Darkness Haunts (Sensor #1) – Susan Illene

Thoughts: Is this set in the past? Her hair looks sort of 1980s. Another model for the collection of models who hate their lives.

14. Raksha – Frankie Rose

Thoughts: Her somewhat strange and the fact that her pants look poorly photoshopped aside, I actually really enjoy this. The background is interesting and she sure looks like a badass.

15. Disconnect (Divided Worlds Trilogy #1) – Imran Siddiq

Thoughts: This is not my favorite art style, but I love the title font, and I think this is really well done. Nice showing, indie cover.

16. From the Ashes – Jessica K. McKendry

Thoughts: Mostly boring, except that the ourobouros fire dragon is super cool. However, the fact that it looks like her boob is giving off light is a bit weird.

17. To Serve Is Divine – R.E. Hargrave

Thoughts: Bahahaha, what? Is she Poison Ivy or something? I’m sick of the crazy effects on the eyes, which I will keep saying until it stops. I’m also curious if freckles ever actually look just like that.

18. January Black – Wendy S. Russo

Thoughts: Oh hey, fantasy bird! I was afraid you might not stop by today, but here you are.

19. Steelheart (Steelheart #1) – Brandon Sanderson

Thoughts: Very reminiscent of the hardcover for The Hunt. I like it, and it definitely makes me curious about the story’s content.

Thoughts: So cute! I love illustrated font covers, and I like how sassy the author treatment is!

21. Never Forget (Memories #1) – Emma Hart

Thoughts: There’s a really big space between the author’s first and last names. I also keep thinking that she’s an alien or something, because she has pink scales by her hairline, but it’s the leaves on the font. O_O

22. Truly, Madly, Deadly – Hannah Jayne

Thoughts: Intriguing. Fairly simple, and I like it. What’s she carrying? I would really like to know, but I couldn’t find any larger images. *squints* A lantern? That’s odd. Is this in the past? Do people still have lanterns? Oh lord, I know you’re all going to comment and tell me “Duh, it’s a THIS thing obviously,” as always happens. Oh well.

23. Allure – Melissa Andrea

Thoughts: Guys, I don’t think you quite understand how shotgunning works. And, girl there’s a firefly in your hair. Dude, her hair’s trying to kill you. Is she Medusa?

24. Thread Silvers (The Golden Threads Trilogy #1) – Leeland Artra

Thoughts: “Hello? Is that World? This is Dagger!”

25. Recalled (Death Escorts #1) – Cambria Hebert

Thoughts: I don’t blame them for wanting to be awesome like the Everneath cover, but you can’t beat that. Still, despite the obvious imitation, a good self-pub.

26. Exile (Keeper of the Lost Cities #2) – Shannon Messenger

Thoughts: Now this, right here, is why placement of words is really important. Once you see “Sexile” on this cover, try to unsee it. However, young me is freaking flipping out over the pegacorn/unisus!

27. Bang (Visions #2) – Lisa McMann

Thoughts: These covers are so pretty, despite being yet another eye cover. This one’s also super creepy, because the eye is obviously made of plastic or something and has been shot with a bullet. Am I the only one who finds the hair a bit startling?

28. Elysian Fields (Sentinels of New Orleans #3) – Suzanne Johnson

Thoughts: I liked this best of the series, I think! Her crazy hair is a bit over the top, but I like her witch fire and practical ass-kicking outfit. Not sure what’s behind her, but it looks interesting.

29. Mistwalker – Saundra Mitchell

Thoughts: Is she wearing tights as pants? I hope not. I think I would like this cover a lot more without the girl. Usually, I don’t read the blurbs, but this one jumped out at me. Check out the first sentence: “When Willa Dixon’s brother dies on the family lobster boat, her father forbids Willa from stepping foot on the deck again.” LOBSTER BOAT!

30. Caught Up in Us – Lauren Blakely

Thoughts: Is that Pepe again? It looks like his icky hair. Also, anytime I see a model put their hand on the face of the other model, I think of the Friends episode about how, in kiss scenes, you should put your hands on the other person’s face so the attention is on you.

31. Winter Queen (Fairy Queens #1) – Amber Argyle

Thoughts: The faeries are super creepy, and there’s a lot of WTF and annoying wings happening here, but, honestly, this is so pretty. It’s like the grown-up version of Lisa Frank.

32. The Dark Between – Sonia Gensler

Thoughts: I’m not sold on that font, but those pictures are CREEPY. Color me intrigued.

33. Assassin’s Gambit (Hearts and Thrones #1) – Amy Raby

Thoughts: WANT. This cover is gorgeous. That dress. I must have it. I super love that it seems like she just sliced a slit in it with that knife. The castle in the back looks like the one at Disney, which is a bit distracting. The real fail here is the tag line, which pretty much sums up the plot of every paranormal romance. Good job.

34. Imminent Danger – Michelle Proulx

Thoughts: Cover = boring. Title = hilarious.

35. Third Lie’s the Charm (The Liar Society #3) – Lisa & Laura Roecker

Thoughts: That is some hair. She looks like she’s auditioning to play young Sidney Bristow in an Alias prequel.

36. Undone (Unraveling #1.5) – Elizabeth Norris

Thoughts: Ugh, that tag line. BARF. Harper, do better with your ebook covers. I tell you this every week, and someday it might catch on.

37. The Forgotten Ones – Laura Howard

Thoughts: Is she dead? She looks dead. In a bower of tiny yellow flowers. Combined with Undone, there’s way too much purple happening right now.

38. The Seven Year King (The Faerie Ring #3) – Kiki Hamilton

Thoughts: Bahahaha, what is that shit? It reminds me of this completely awful cover. Worse still, this looks nothing like the other books in the series, image-wise. Add in a generic tag line, “A deadly sacrifice, a heartbreaking choice, an uncertain future…” (DUN DUN DUN), and we have a hot mess on our hands.

39. Any Duchess Will Do – Tessa Dare

Thoughts: “Prepare to fall in love.” Really, Julia Quinn, that’s the best you could do blurb-wise? Seriously with the unbuttoning the shirt without untucking it? Why do they do this? It looks ridiculous. The title, as do most romance titles, makes me laugh, because he doesn’t want her specifically. Any duchess is cool.

40. Games of Fire – Airicka Phoenix

Thoughts: If that’s the author’s actual name, I feel a bit bad for her. I mean, she must have gotten in so much trouble as a child for being unable to spell her name. Are there fingers grabbing that flower by her ear? If so, CREEPY AS FUCK. Note to designer: Being able to read the title is a kind of important.

41. Jordyn (Daemon Hunter #1) – Tiffany King

Thoughts:A world of ew. What girl would wear a shapeless tank top with tight skinny jeans? I feel like skinny jeans folk like fitted tops. That title font: I can’t.

42. Sins of a Ruthless Rogue (Sinners Trio #2) – Anna Randol

Thoughts: Another one with his shirt tucked in and unbuttoned. It’s cold enough that she needs a cloak over her long-sleeved dress and he’s walking around like that? Ruthless rogue? Does that mean he kills folk? That could be interesting.

43. Rebellion (Lost City Shifters #3) – Eleri Stone

 Thoughts: Ew. Hairy chest plus absurd fire tattoo of those magicians rings equals NO.

44. Unfearing (The Unresisting #2) – Shane Morgan

Thoughts: So apparently nothing has been learned about complementary colors or putting red font on a reddish background. Wonderful.

Cover Battles:
1. Fire in Her Eyes (Summer Love #1) – Amanda Heath

Facade vs. Fight with Me vs. Fire in Her Eyes: This stock cover is dominating the self-pub cover world. It’s been on one every two weeks. Apparently, for some reason, this image demands a book whose title starts with F. Odd. Winner: Nyrae Dawn for keeping it simple.

2. Evie’s Knight – Kimberly Krey

Original vs. Redesign: Not a big fan of either, but the hot pink really ruins the eerie mood of the original. Winner: Original.

Take 1 vs. Take 2: You know what originally got me to add this book to my to-read list? The super original, hilarious cover. Penguin, why did you do this? Is the new one bad? No. However, it pales (literally and figuritavely) to the first cover released. Winner: Take 1, because…LOOK AT IT.

4. Reveal (Cryptid Tales #1) – Brina Courtney 

Original vs. Redesign: Gross. So the worst part was the eyes, but they kept that effect. Fantastic. Winner: I refuse to choose.

WTF of the Week:

1. Gabrielle’s Cauldron – Ann Gempel

 Thoughts: Looks like Gabrielle’s reaching for her cauldron right now.

2. Marked by the Alpha – Adaline Raine

Thoughts: Alright, you might be thinking, “this doesn’t look nearly as bad as that other one.” However, if you look closer, you will see that this woman is JUST A TORSO. Also, you know how dogs mark things? Peeing on them. Just a thought.

Outstanding Cover of the Week(s):
Death, Dickinson, and the Demented Life of Frenchie Garcia by Jenny Torres Sanchez

Learn More or Preorder:

Goodreads|Amazon|The Book Depository|Barnes & Noble

29 responses to “Cover Snark (39): Why Are Wolves Such Voyeurs?”

  1. I really hate most of the romance/paranormal romance covers out there, so unoriginal and boring.

    Also died laughing at the date me/love me and girl in a bottle covers, hah. I feel sad for the author who got such book covers… Unless they did it themselves, then…

    • Christina says:

      I can see that. I actually enjoy some of them, but they’re not the most innovative, it’s true.

      Oh yeah, if I were an author, there would be many tears if my baby got some of these covers.

  2. Giselle says:

    OMG The Jillian Dodd covers make me want to bitch slap myself!!!

    Oh I love the Tristis manor cover!! Very creepy!

    LOL dude tat girl in a bottle kicks ass! That cover is so different so I love it! Be original, people!

    To serve is divine: O_O what is wrong with this chick? Seriously! She needs help! Those are not freckles, she’s diseased!

    Steelheart can’t be worse than the Hunt. It just can’t.

    I think she’s carrying a birdcage. it’s me in it, in my hamster bubble! Duh!

    Is she Medusa? LOL And what is between their mouths? Ewww

    Sexile!! OMG!!

    Ok I live in Canada where lobster fishing is VERY common and I’ve no idea what a lobster boat it. There are fishing boats, but not boats just for lobster fishing.. O_O

    The Dark Between cover wins the creepy!!

    That cover for The Forgotten One, before I read your sentence I thought they were birder flying away with her hair… and not flowers.. O_O

    The 7 Year King Cover O_O

    Facade: Oh wow that couple gets around!!

    OMG! They changed the cover of Symptoms of my Insanity? When Ishared the 1st on my FB it got THE most likes and positive comments in ever!! Fuck stupidity! Also, why do they keep changing covers?

    “Looks like Gabrielle’s reaching for her cauldron right now.” OMG BWahahahaha

    “Also, you know how dogs mark things? Peeing on them. Just a thought.” *dies*

    • Christina says:

      Dude, just slap the Jillian Dodd model. I feel like a jerk saying I hate her face, but LOOK AT IT.

      Right? Why are self-pubs so much better at novella covers. It’s ridic! I love tristis too!

      I like the girl in a bottle cover, but I still laugh at it. :-p

      Could be. She doesn’t look healthy, that’s for damn sure.

      It will be so good. I am sure. E.C. Myers had a super early version and said it was super good!

      Ohhhhh! HAMSTER GISELLE!

      I think she’s supposed to be stealing his essence or something? But it’s not really working.

      RIGHT? Unsee Sexile! UNSEE IT!


      Bahahahaha, that would be better maybe!

      Funny enough, Facade just released a new cover this morning, probably because of that couple getting around.

      I am SO PISSED about Symptoms of My Insanity. Let’s go for mediocrity. Ugh.


  3. Nori says:

    Wow, The Seven Year King looks awful! How do those covers make it out? Really? That series is way famous in the YA crowd. How did that cover become final???? Also, why does Susan Beth Pfeffer still write those books? Seriously, that series should have ended already.

    Also, I think you should have a Worst Cover of the week too! I always want to know what you like the least.

    • Christina says:

      I really wonder that myself. The fact that some of these make it out the door of larger publishing houses just destroys my brain. What is happening in the design departments? I imagine booze is involved.

      Ha, who knows why she’s still writing them? Oh wait, probs because of this: $$$$

      Ha, that’s sort of WTF of the week is for. It would be hard to choose the scope for my least favorite. Would I eliminate self-pubs?

  4. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who hates that model for the Jillian Dodd books. I just want to smack her! I felt mean, so I never said it, but it looks like I’m in good company here.

    I’m surprised you like the Assassin’s Gambit cover, because I think her leg looks ridiculous. I could only think of this:

    • Christina says:

      Nope, I’m running with the mean. She just looks like a jerk, right?? And she’s fine from the side, so why make them look like that. Ugh.

      BAHAHAHA, Angelina’s leg. LOVE IT.

  5. NatasaLikes says:

    26. “Sexile”! DAMN IT! UNSEE, BRAIN, UNSEE! Shit.

    29. It bothers me that I still haven’t seen moderately plump female legs on YA covers. They’re all skinny/anorexic and it bothers me. Other than that the cover’s pretty awesome because it’s kinda using an instagram-esque filter and you don’t usually see that on traditionally pubbed books, though there’s a scary overbundance of this on indie covers…

    31. Yes!! There’s way too much going on but still… sooooo purdy *flails*

    32. I got goosebumps when I looked closer o__o

    • Christina says:

      26. Good luck with that. I don’t think it can be unseen.

      29. That bothers me too. I do like the Instagram look! Spot on description. What’s wrong with average legs? *glares at designers*

      32. Right?? Creeptastic!

  6. 4. She looks totally awkward and uncomfortable.

    6. I really like the cover of Hate Me. I feel like on the cover of Date Me she’s staring me down for some reason. It’s a little creepy.

    9. I really like this. It’s a novella with some effort.

    11. I really liked these books (natural disasters = awesomeness) and I def want to read this one. This cover is by far the coolest of them all.

    17. Make it stop.

    26. I didn’t notice the Sexile, but now that you’ve mentioned it, it’s all I see.

    32. Shivers.

    35. I went to an author signing that had Lisa & Laura Roecker there and they said that when they got the cover for the first book and she had the pink hair they ended up making some changes to the character to make it fit the book better.

    36. Why even bother? Seriously, just give me a plain title on white background.

    CB2. Original, but get rid of the weird face looking down and it would be excellent.

    • Christina says:

      4. That’s very much a stupid way to hold that skinny knife for sure.

      6. I think Hate Me works, yeah. She looks like Olivia Wilde from the side. Maybe the problem with this model is how unenthusiastic she looks compared to the titles? The covers should be more like the girl who did the lyrics to the Justin Bieber song!

      11. It’s so purty! Probably my second choice this week.

      17. I wish I could.

      26. You’re welcome.

      35. Huh, that’s weird! The cover changed the book!

      36. For real. Either just walk it in completely or go all out. A lot of effort probably went in to making this boring cover.

  7. KM says:

    OMG I’M SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE SAY “SEXILE!” I was like, “Surely, I’m the only one who thought that. Shame on me.” And it makes it even more hilarious that it’s an MG cover with that. Hah!

    Not many I’m loving this time around, although I agree on your best cover of the week. 🙂

  8. Heh. Sexiles. And I’m really just not a fan of the cover, so I kinda hope they change it. I don’t like how the series name is so obnoxiously huge. And GAH, I HATE the Kaetyn Chronicles’ covers. So awful. And I actually really don’t like the cover for The Dark Between. Yellow font + weird wallpaper/background + weird pictures + weird blur effect = I’M NOT HAPPY. But I love the cover for Steelheart. So cool.

    • Christina says:

      The kids look like they’ve aged a lot, like the boy? It’s a bit odd to me. I love the pegacorn though!

      They’re the worst. and I can see why you don’t like The Dark Between. I sort of do and sort of don’t.

  9. I think Sexiles get’s my vote. That is just horrible. Why punish a book so?! lol I do enjoy the Mythos Academy books but I agree about the covers. Originality? I think not. Let’s not forget Romance covers. They are some of the worst, but I have a fondness for these books. I can’t help myself.

    • Christina says:

      Hahaha, wah wah.

      Romance covers at least know they’re not innovative. They have a formula and they follow it and they have no fucks to give (except inside the book).

  10. Jaime Lester says:

    I have other comments to make sometime soon, but I have one that just can’t wait. The WTF of the weeks comment almost made me pee my pants, and I can’t quit looking at it. That is just WRONG. Does the author, or any other people who happened to be a part of the process realize what this looks like? This should really be reworked. But keep this one out there so I can always come back to it for a laugh!

  11. 1. OMG. NO. I LOVE THIS COVER. It may be one of the most beautiful I have seen in a while. GIMME!

    3. I almost participated in the cover reveal for this one. I had to pull out when I saw it. I don’t want to be mean, but I strongly dislike this cover.

    5. Something about this cover is not working for me at all. It is not sexy. I do love that they have a POC on the cover though.

    8. Snicker. That is all.

    9. LOVE!!! That’s awesome. It’s self-published and it’s a novella. Yay!

    10. I like that one. It’s different and it stands out to me. Disagree with you AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL!

    11. I love the covers on this one. I LOVED the first book. WHAT THE HELL, Christina??

    14. Not a fan. You WOULD like this one. 😉

    15. Seriously? This is terrible. I’m with you on the title font, but for an illustration this looks very amateurish to me.

    16. Finally I agree. This bores me.

    17. Why does she look so washed out? This just looks cheap.

    18. LOL at your joke. I like this though.

    20. Agree with you. But this also bores me.

    21. Every contemporary YA cover in the world.

    24. I think this is kind of cool. Except for the girl’s reflection in the blade. I don’t like that.

    26. Hahahaha! You cannot unsee sexile. They need to fix that.

    27. Love this. It’s super creepy!

    30. His icky hair. LOLOLOL!

    32. I like the font. Not the yellow. Yet I really want to read this because that is soo intriguing.

    36. They didn’t even TRY again.

    38. Yeah, agree. UGLY.

    39. As long as she is a duchess with a vagina, he is good to go. Though the title doesn’t even specify if she needs a vagina. Interesting.


    CB3. Why did they redo that? Why do they ruin everything?

  12. Christina says:

    1. I did say I think the rose is gorgeous, right?

    3. Ha, awkward! That’s another reason I don’t participate in cover reveals. Sometimes it’s like WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

    5. Very much not sexy, though I also approve of the POC.

    10. Again, it’s not that I don’t like it. I do think it’s eye-catching and interesting, but I also think it’s hilarious.

    11. I love the cover too. I HATED the first book, though. Whine, whine, selfish, whine. Contradictions and just ugh.

    14. What does that even mean?

    15. Yeah, I don’t like the illustration either, but that’s a chance you take on illustrated covers.

    20. Awww, I love word covers.

    24. Yeah, I didn’t see her until I later and then I was pissed. Oh well.

    26. They sure do!

    30. Isn’t it icky? Come on. Let’s all be honest. Pepe has icky hair.

    32. Yellow-green was not the best color choice.

    39. He also likes hermaphrodite duchesses. He’s very openminded. I approve.

    CB3: I DON’T KNOW!!!!!

  13. Christine says:

    #30 — I kept feeling deja vu looking at this cover and I’m pretty sure it’s the same exact image on this cover, just flipped. So yea, more icky hair. Weird.

  14. “grown-up version of Lisa Frank.” – died laughing. and “reaching for her cauldron.”

    I’ll be back for more of Cover Snark.

    Curious, is this a list of new releases or do you pick randomly?

    • Christina says:

      They’re all the ‘interesting’ covers I find that have been released in the past week. I’m not super strict on timing, but I usually do Thursday to Wednesday’s covers.

  15. Kayla Beck says:

    2. Is that a Wendigo? Also, I prefer the Deer Man to that hussy cozying up to my man on these covers!

    4. They did this to a NYT Bestselling Author?! Have they no shame?!

    7. I don’t hate it, but it’s not as good as the first (but better than the second).

    10. I don’t get it. It’s velvet, but she’s in a bottle? Did she get trapped in her own piss in the gamer Mountain Dew bottles?

    11. Wow, this one really is the best!

    12. Uh oh, she got into Velvet’s bottles!

    14. She will kick my ass if I say anything bad, so I won’t (not that I would anyways).

    17. Is this author intentionally entering the running for Worst Cover of 2013? It is kind of early in the year for that.

    18. I clicked the Goodreads link! Wow… Crescent Moon Press… I’m impressed, guys.

    19. Want.

    25. I’m not old enough to read about escorts, but I’ll go as far as to guess that whores to death had some flaws, so they were recalled. Or maybe they were recalled because they were just too old.

    26. I love Sexiles and alicorns! 😀

    27. I wish they would stop with the eye thing. I don’t likes it.

    28. Preorder time! (These books are so good.)

    29. I think I preordered this one. *scratches head* It’s good enough that I won’t cancel my order.

    31. Now that you brought Lisa Frank into it, I may just have to buy the damned book. Do you think it’ll have coloring pages and stickers inside?

    33. I really like that she’s not a tiny blonde falling over herself! That’s a really pretty cover.

    38. And they were doing so well with the other ones!

    44. The next title in the series will be “Unflattering”! *giggles*


  16. Thanks for the free publicity. It’s a shame you don’t like my designer. What do your covers look like?
    It’s unfortunate that instead of positive criticism you feel the need to be hurtful. A simple, this looks off could go a long way and actually help a brand new author make better decisions if he or she felt that need. For the record, it’s a wolf on the cover but it’s clear your intentions are to make fun and point instead of helpful. I get it, it’s a cruel Internet world out there no matter how hard you work for something someone will kick you down. Take care.

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