Audiobook Review: Endlessly

I received this book for free from Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

Audiobook Review: EndlesslyEndlessly by Kiersten White
Narrator: Emily Eiden
Length: 9 hrs, 55 mins
Series: Paranormalcy #3
Published by HarperTeen on July 24, 2012
Genres: Paranormal, Romance
Format: Audiobook
Source: Publisher
Goodreads
one-half-stars

Kiersten White’s New York Times bestselling Paranormalcy trilogy comes to a breathless conclusion with a signature mix of wit, romance, paranormal creatures, and a truly original heroine.

In Endlessly, pink-loving, butt-kicking Evie has way too much on her to-do list. Paranormals are begging her to open a faerie gate so they can leave the human world, something Evie’s not sure she has the power to do. The Dark Queen is torturing humans and must be destroyed.

On top of all that, Evie’s prom is coming up. She’s not sure what to wear, and, oh, yeah, her shape-shifting boyfriend, Lend, has been cursed so that he falls into an enchanted sleep whenever he and Evie are in the same room…and even Evie’s ex-boyfriend, the faerie Reth, can’t reverse the dark magic.

An epic battle is looming, and the choices Evie makes will determine the fate of whole paranormal world—and her own life.

It’s been quite a while since I read Paranormalcyand Supernaturally, but I remember liking them, mostly because they were funny. I also appreciated that Evie is unapologetically a girly girl, but that archit doesn’t mean she won’t fight to defend herself. White also kills off at least one of Evie’s friends in the earlier books, which adds a darkness and seriousness to the otherwise fluffy story. I don’t know if it’s because of the format change or not, but I did not enjoy Endlessly quite as much.

The plot does a bit of meandering. The overarching goal is to try and let the faeries and other paranormals that want to go home through a portal of Evie’s construction. The drama lies in convincing Evie to try and in surviving the attempts by opposed parties to stop this happening. Much of the book is composed of those latter attempts, as both IPCA and the Dark Queen don’t want the paranormals to leave for their own nefarious reasons. These challenges felt rather superficial and silly to me, perhaps because of how easy they were to resolve, and how little sacrifice was entailed. In the end, they really just seemed like ways to make the book long enough.

Here’s the other issue: despite the fact that everything is accomplished pretty easily in the grand scheme of things, Evie whines NON-STOP about the things that don’t go right. Every tiny thing that doesn’t go her way she complains about ENDLESSLY (see what I did there?). So, for example, in a turn of events that delighted me because she deserved it, she and Lend are cursed such that if they are in the same room, he falls asleep. This happens just after a battle and Evie comments on how sore her body feels, which she then attributes to MISSING LEND’S TOUCH. Girl, it’s been like two days of not touching your boyfriend. You can freaking deal. They need boundaries.

Seriously, I cannot remember if Lend and Evie were so completely disgusting in the prior books. From what I recall I kind of liked them. Either way, they annoyed the heck out of me in this one. They’re CONSTANTLY professing their endless love for one another and arguing about which of them gets to sacrifice themselves for the other. BARF. Their every interaction is insanely sappy and made me miss the previous book where Lend was often gone for school.

Also, I have to mention the birthday/Christmas presents they give each other because OMG so ridiculous. Lend gives Evie a masquerade ball. Ariana made her a fancy dress (the one from the cover) and also made masks for pretty much every person in town. What? Who does this? Why not just have them go to prom? Later, Evie gifts Lend with a ten minute video of every single scene from Easton Heights where a character says ‘I love you,’ with Lend’s favorite song playing in the background. Evie is the WORST gift giver ever. Giving that to her, since it’s her favorite show would be thoughtful, but Lend tolerates it for her. Way not to buy a real present. If I were Lend, I would have dumped her right then.

Still, the book did entertain and had its funny moments. Jack, who stupid Evie accepts back as a friend, turns out to be the most entertaining character, mostly because Evie and Lend find him somewhat insufferable. I actually hated him before, but I liked him more the less I cared for Evie. Despite how many issues I had with just about everything, these are still entertaining, which is why you’ll probably be surprised to see a rating of 3. This is one of those books that you enjoy even as you’re constantly rolling your eyes.

Being fairly new to audiobooks, I don’t yet know narrators by name and which ones to avoid. Well, Emily Eiden is going on the ‘to be avoided at all costs’ list. I just could not stand the sound of her voice, which is really unfortunate since I had to spend almost 10 hours listening to it.

She tries very hard to sound youthful, but, to me, she sounded like an old woman imitating a teen, not convincing at all. She portrays Evie in such a way that she comes across as a smug bimbo, when I always imagined Evie sounding friendly and perky. This Evie I wanted to punch in the face. Eiden did an okay job with the other characters, but since it’s told from Evie’s perspective that’s really not enough to improve the situation.

13 responses to “Audiobook Review: Endlessly”

  1. cleemckenzie says:

    I have a hard time audio books for the reason you mentioned. Sometimes the readers just don’t sound like the characters should sound.

  2. Lilian says:

    I was going to rant about Insurgent’s narrator (which might be just me since I read an audiobook review who praised her reading)…but then I discovered one even worse thirty minutes ago when I started listening to The Perks of Being a Wallflower (I can’t believe I haven’t read this book, granted I did borrow it once-but I had to return it before I got to it, now the movie is forcing me to read it so I can be hipster). AND THE NARRATOR IS AN OLD GUY…with a raspy voice. *Sigh*

    I had to stop after 15 minutes because I just could get the image of a teenager from that voice. I guess The Perks of Being a Wallflower will have to be a physical read. Unless there’s another narrator…

    • Christina says:

      UGH. I hate when a book about a young person is narrated by someone close to the grave. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?

      I thought you didn’t like audiobooks much because you couldn’t pay attention? But now you’re all audio all the time. lol.

    • Lilian says:

      I don’t know! Because all young people are too busy living their life than to narrate books?

      I still can’t pay attention sometimes, but it comes in handy when I am doing monotonous activites like my chinese workbook homework where I write the same character a gazillion times.
      And when I am doing my art projects where I cut and paste tinnnyyy pieces of paper on a square. Since I don’t have the time to read a physical book, I might as well do it with audio. I feel like such a multi-tasker.
      I still feel asleep on like a chapter or two of Insurgent while on the bus though…one of them the climax of the story. But I really didn’t give a damn to go back and relisten. Now I feel better knowing what all that buzz surrounding is about, even though I still don’t feel it’s deserved.

      The last physical book I read was Every Day two weeks ago. I couldn’t help mysellllffff.

    • Christina says:

      THEY SHOULD HIRE ME! I WOULD LOVE TO BE AN AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR!

      Haha, I love audiobooks for chores and boring things like that.

      Did you feel like you missed anything?

      Every Day! Was it amazing?

    • Lilian says:

      I’m sure you would be awesome at it…judging from Dystopian Storytime. I, on the hand, would be horrible since I make up the pronunciation of words as I go. Like a boss.

      I think I missed the climax at the end…but then I figured out what happened when the characters were talking about it, then I was like “mehhh”
      For much of the story I was like, “blah blah blah…Tris acts stupid..blah blah blah, Tris wants to die and does more stupid things…life-threatening situation!…but ehhhh, there’s still 300pages and the story is set in first person, she can’t possibly die….more filler nonsense about Tris feeling guilty and suicidal”

      I really loved Every Day, I had slight issues with pacing (which I doubt would be an issue for you actually) and the ending was slightly disappointing. But nevertheless, I think you will gobble it up like candy =).

    • Christina says:

      One fun thing about audiobook narration is learning how many pronunciations we all make up. It’s kind of humbling. Also, awesome trivia.

      Yup. She’s not going to die. Or, at least, I’ve only read one book where the narrator died and the series continued. That was INTENSE, because you’re like SURELY THAT WON’T HAPPEN. HOLY SHIT IT DID.

      Yummy, yummy candy.

    • Lilian says:

      For the longest time, I had trouble pronouncing “colloquial,” and I still sometimes make up my own pronunciation of it. I wonder if audiobook narrators look up every word…

      I would love to ask you what series, but then that would be a major spoiler. Did she get resurrected to tell the story? or the narrator changed? or it switched to third person? O_O

      NOW GO AND EAT IT UP!

    • Christina says:

      They do look up all of the words, and the editor should check pronunciations as well. It’s a time-intensive process. I did a smidge of audiobook narration at a library for the blind and physically handicapped, so I have some sense of the process.

      Narrator changed. I will not tell you which series!

      OMNOMNOM. No time right now. 🙁

    • Lilian says:

      *O*
      So, you are saying that there’s a CD somewhere in that library with your voice and all the blind+handicapped people will listen to your voice?

      When I need to check pronunciation, I use Google Translate. Which I learned doesn’t work well for German names. So disappointing.

      I would never do audiobook narration for I can’t hold my breath long enough AND I hate hearing my own voice. If only I was Adele or Celine Dion, then I would love to talk to myself all day long.
      But instead I have a lame Asian accented voice that makes me sound like a fob. *le sigh*

  3. I’ve only read the first book to this series so far. I liked it, but not enough to rush out and get the hardbacks of the other two. So now I’m just waiting around on the rest of them to come out in paperback. I read mixed reviews on the second book, and so far I seem to be finding a lot that agree with you about the third. Sorry that it didn’t turn out as well as you’d hoped. I’m sure I’ll still go for it either way just to see for myself. 😛

    I’ve never had an audio book. I’ve been getting a bit curious though. I said for years I would never go for one but I’ll be getting Carnival of Souls on audio anyway since James Marsters (woohoo Spike) is reading it. So I’ll find out then just how well I like them and if I decide to stick with them or not. 😛

    <3
    Pixie

    • Christina says:

      Yup, that’s sort of how I felt about the books. They’re fun, but I don’t like them quite as much as everyone else seems to. I much prefer Cara Lynn Shultz’s Spellbound books, which do the whole paranormal humor thing. You should certainly still read them though!

      I used to hate and judge audiobooks, but I’ve learned to appreciate some of them. They’re good for books you want to read, but suspect might not be as high in writing quality or something. 🙂 Also, if they have a celebrity narrator like James Marsters. I fully intend to listen to Carnival of Souls as well.

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